Like Mother like Daughter like Father like Son
by GiraffeGirl
Summary: Rose and the Doctor think meeting again after the time they've spent apart is everything they've ever dreamed of. But dark things lurk in the corners of their eyes, ripping away what they treasure the most when they least expect it
1. Prologue

**(The title's a bit off, not sure if I like it, but I'll deal with that later.)**

**_Rose and the Doctor think meeting again after the time they've spent apart is everything they've ever dreamed of. But dark things lurk in the corners of their eyes, ripping away what they treasure the most when they least expect it. If they're going to survive this adventure and save the universes, they're going to need to face their fears, break the rules and team up with some of the most unlikely allies. _**

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"_There's five of us now – Mum, Dad, Mickey and the baby."_

"_You're not…?"_

"_Nah, it's Mum. She's three months gone. More Tylers on the way."_

As Rose crumbled into her mother's arms she at first found it hard to speak, her words getting tangled up in tears and her throat filled up with sobs. As she regained some of her control she clung onto Jackie, desperately trying to say something.

Jackie stroked her hair, her own eyes filling with tears to see her daughter so broken, so utterly crushed. She'd hoped this would all be over long before now; in the last few weeks before that dream, Rose had even started sleeping all through the night, without waking up screaming and crying. Now she was back where she'd started.

As Rose struggled to speak, Jackie tried to quieten her. "Shush, sweetheart. Oh, Rose, baby, please. You shouldn't upset yourself like this, it's not good for you."

"I…" Rose stammered. "I… Mum, I… oh, I…"

"Shush."

But Rose wouldn't stay quiet. She had to say something. "I… I couldn't tell him, Mum. I didn't... didn't... Oh, Mum!" She broke into fresh sobs, like she'd only managed to store them away momentarily while she got her words out. They shook her entire body, making her shudder. All those months of hard work, forcing herself to get through the day without breaking down; all gone to waste. It felt like she hadn't stopped crying since the day she came here.

Jackie sighed heavily, wishing with all her heart that she could say something to comfort her, and knowing that nothing in the world would ever help. Nothing in this world anyway. She glanced round at where Mickey and Pete were still standing by the truck, huddled against the cold wind. They couldn't stay here forever, but she wasn't sure Rose would make it back to the truck. She might need help.

"Come on, Rosie," she said softly, using the name she hadn't used since Rose was tiny. "Maybe it's for the best, sweetheart, maybe it's easier if he doesn't know." Easier on him anyway. Nothing would ever make this easier on Rose. Her daughter's life would never be easy again now.

"But… I wanted him to know." Rose was beginning to regain some of her control. She was still trembling in Jackie's arms and the tears were pouring down her face, but her voice was evening out and she could support herself. "Mum, I…"

Jackie lifted her daughter's head off of her shoulder. "Come on. Shush now. Let's go, it's getting cold. You need to start taking care of yourself."

"What's the point?" Rose replied miserably, as she reluctantly put one foot in front of the other and trudged across the beach. Every atom of her body was telling her to stay, to wait here for as long as it would take. _Five and a half hours_. Or longer. She'd wait forever. Only she couldn't, and she knew it. She was too exhausted to fight her mum any longer.

"There's every point," Jackie took her daughter's hand and pulled her forwards. "It's not only you anymore, is it? There's the little one to think about."

Rose knew she was right. He was gone and she couldn't change that. But in this world, right here and now, she could do her damned best to take the best care of his baby. The baby he'd never know about.


	2. Part 1 Chapter 1

**I said to myself I wouldn't update every day but I do have quite a few of the chapters finised (in fact, up to Chapter 21 is done!) and people were so nice about the prologue which is really just a tiny part and nothing really happened... kinda like this chapter actually! I'm gonna try and not update again until I've got the next chapter finished, so that I don't run out of stuff to update if you know what I mean and end up with a HUUUUUGE wait between chapters. This story's pretty slow to start, but I start dropping more hints in the next chapter. I just felt I needed a lengthy build up to explain what Rose's life is like now before it all kicks off again. Hope you can forgive a few chapters of ramblingness and no real Doctor Who action! And this obscenely long intro!

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**Eighteen years later**

Rose knew it was strange to still be doing what she did, but then again she'd never been conventional. As she changed channels on the TV, going from a shopping channel to a late-night talk show to an X-rated movie, her eyes barely registered what was on-screen, but instead kept jumping to the digital clock on the video player. It was four minutes to one. Four minutes before she would begin panicking. Nine before she'd try both their mobiles. Fourteen until she'd go outside, looking up and down the road. Nineteen until she'd start the car and begin searching the local streets.

She took another sip of lukewarm black coffee and pulled a face at the taste. It was true; you could become immune to the effects of caffeine. She'd lived off the stuff for nearly eighteen years, and gradually she'd had to make it stronger and stronger. These days she wondered if it would be far easier to prop her eyes open with matchsticks than even pretend that the coffee would make any difference.

Two minutes to one. She could already feel her heartbeat rising, a lump sticking in her throat. She always felt like this at this time of night. She always wished she'd gone to bed instead of sitting up, but she'd never have slept anyway. Sometimes she wished she'd accepted the invitations that were getting fewer and less frequent; to spend the evening round Mickey's, to have dinner with her parents. Maybe even to go on a date with Alan from work. But she knew she'd never have settled, would have spent the whole evening clutching her phone and checking it for messages. Then she'd have left early, claiming she had a headache so she could sit up and worry.

The numbers on the clock suddenly switched. One minute past one. She reached for the phone, dialed the number she knew off by heart. It rang once and then she heard the front door go and she put the phone back down again.

"Mum, you're not still up, are you?" He stuck his head in the door, his face illuminated by the flickering images on screen. "What are you watching?"

"Nothing." Rose flicked the television off and they were plunged into darkness. She reached for the light switch. They both winced as the light came on. Looking beyond him into the hall, she felt her stomach constrict slightly. "Where's your sister?"

"Outside." He rolled his eyes. "Saying goodnight to him." He jerked his thumb outside.

Rose crossed the room and looked out the window. There was a car parked across their drive with blue neon lights and music thumping. She could just see her illuminated in a street lamp, bending over to speak to the driver.

"I thought you were driving?" She turned to her son, frowning. His car, his beloved Clio, wasn't sitting on the drive behind her car.

"I had a drink," he shrugged. "And he offered." Again he jerked his thumb outside. "I'll go and pick my car up in the morning."

"You shouldn't be drinking," Rose reprimanded him, without taking her eyes off of her daughter outside. "You're under age."

"I'm eighteen in a fortnight, Mum." He laughed. "And I only had a beer. It's her you should be warning."

Rose watched as her daughter tottered up the drive as the car roared off. Her baby girl was wobbling in her kitten-heels and spent ages fiddling around with her key in the lock. When she finally fell in the door, she looked at her brother and mother in surprise.

"Oh. I didn't know you'd still be up." She straightened her dress out suddenly, and at least had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. "I was just…" She gestured outside.

"It's fine." Rose nodded. It was six minutes past one. Technically they'd broken their curfew. But they'd come home. That was the main thing.

"I'm going to bed," her daughter announced. "Night Mum." She kissed her on the cheek and Rose got a whiff of peach schnapps and smoke. So she was smoking too. She inwardly sighed. Another thing to worry about.

"Me too." Her son leaned down, from where he now towered above her at six foot three. "Night Mum."

They both clambered up stairs, leaving Rose at the bottom. She'd wait until they were both in bed and safe until she'd go up.

In the meantime, she fetched herself a drink of water. She needed to get rid of some that caffeine now if she was to sleep tonight. Though she could manage with very little sleep, she'd learnt that over the past few years. Leaning against the kitchen work top, she looked at the calendar posted on the notice board. In two weeks her babies would be eighteen and wouldn't be her babies anymore. She could hardly believe it had been so long since she'd held them both in her arms, nameless but hers. She could hardly believe it had been so long since she'd come here. Since she'd last seen him.

It had always amazed her how much of a mixture of both their parents the twins were. It wasn't like it always was in books (or at least the books she read) where one would take after the father and one the mother. They were both such a mish-mash of different parts of them. Jonathan obviously got his height from his father, though Rose was certain he was taller than even him now. His eyes were a deep chocolate brown, but his hair was much lighter. It had been beautifully blond when he was younger, but it was starting to darken now. Rose had started bleaching hers when she was sixteen, but she was sure that, if she'd let it continue naturally, her hair would have been the same as her son's was now. He was much broader than his father; if anything, his physique resembled his grandad's. In contrast, Janie was petite and had dark brown hair to go with her chocolate eyes. She'd inherited her father's penchant for words. Rose suspected that hair wouldn't last much longer though. Janie had been begging to dye it for years, insistent that blondes did have more fun and that, yes, it was essential she had that fun. Rose had managed to placate her for now, saying she could do what she wanted when she was eighteen. She was sure her daughter would.

Her two beautiful babies all grown up. Rose had always hoped they wouldn't grow up. She knew it had been a silly thing to wish, but it was true. Suddenly they were doing their own thing, going out without her, until late at night. She hated that. She hated going to bed until they were in the house. So she didn't. She stayed up every night they went out to make sure they got home safely.

She finished her drink and put the glass in the sink. She'd wash it up in the morning. She switched the lights off downstairs and dead-locked the front door.

She listened outside Jonathan's door. Steady even breathing. He'd always been a deep sleeper, dropping off the moment his head hit the pillow. Even as a baby. Rose was always grateful for that; he never used to give her any trouble. He didn't give her much now. Jonathan was her easy child. The exact opposite of his sister.

Listening outside Janie's door, Rose could hear her daughter pulling clothes off. She imagined those shoes being flung across the room, landing in an untidy heap next to the other four pairs littering the pale pink carpet. The dress would hit the floor where she stood and remain there for at least a week, until Rose went in and picked it up. Janie was on the phone too, she could hear her whispering. She couldn't quite catch the words. Still, it was twenty past one, way past curfew and far too late for her to be gossiping with friends.

She knocked on the door.

"What?" Janie sounded annoyed.

"Bed. Now."

Rose could hear the theatrical sigh on the other side of the door, and her daughter winding the conversation up. Within minutes she heard the bedsprings creak and the light went out.

Now. Time for bed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey, thanks for all the reviews so far. The main criticism is that there's no Doctor yet... he doesn't appear for quite a few chapters yet I'm afraid and I'm also afraid to tell you quite how many chapters it is until then in case you decide its not worth it! However, it does all start getting a little Doctor Who-y in this chapter, and a few chapters before the good Doctor himself arrives, we get the arrival of a few other lovely characters. So I really hope you're willing to stick with my slow slow build up.**

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**Rose had always enjoyed shopping when she was younger. Shoes, handbags, clothes, make-up; she'd loved it all. These days though, she was beginning to understand how the joy could go out of it. Especially when she saw the things her daughter was able to wear and get away with, whilst she was feeling more and more frumpy in her jeans and t-shirts. 

Right now, Janie was trying on endless outfits in the changing rooms of the big department store, trying to find just the right one for their big party. Rose wasn't sure why she needed a new outfit; Janie had so many clothes that they'd had to put another wardrobe in the spare room to accommodate them all. Still, if it made her happy… At least she'd asked Rose to go with her, which Rose was grateful for. Even if it was only so she'd pick up the bill.

"What do you think?" Janie came out of the cubicle in a pair of jeans and a floaty green top. The jeans were so long she was tripping over them. Rose recognized that problem; when you were under five foot six, trouser lengths were a bit of an issue. Janie balanced on tip-toes experimentally. "Of course, I'd need new shoes too."

"Really?" Rose frowned. Janie had over thirty-five pairs of shoes; surely one pair would go with it.

"Of course. I only have green flats and green wedges. I'd need green heels for this." Janie turned round and peered over her shoulder, viewing herself in the mirror. "I don't know. I like it."

"Janie, you've got loads of jeans already though," Rose ventured to point out. Fifteen pairs at the last count. "Couldn't you wear a pair of them?"

Janie rolled her eyes like Rose didn't understand her. "But not this shade." Finally she wrinkled up her nose. "I don't like it." She swept back into the cubicle and pulled the curtain across violently. Rose sat back down.

Her ear popped suddenly. She winced. That hadn't happened in years. She used to get really bad ear infections when she was younger, back when… But that was so long ago, a different lifetime. Her ears hadn't popped in ages. She shook her head, trying to regain her hearing.

"What about this?" Janie came back out in time to see her mother shaking her head violently. She yelped. "Mum, what are you _doing_? God, you are so embarrassing sometimes!" She dived back into the cubicle to save her street-cred.

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"You bought all of this for Janie?" Mickey looked at the pile of bags in the hallway of Rose's house. "All of this stuff?" 

Rose had to admit that there seemed to be much more of it now than before. Maybe the bags had multiplied. She nodded. "Yeah. It's not much though."

Mickey looked at his friend incredulously. "Rose, you must have spent hundreds!" He shook his head. "You need to stop spoiling her."

"I'm not spoiling her," Rose insisted. "I don't do it all the time. It is her birthday soon."

"Yeah, and I bet you've got yet more stuff stashed away for that, haven't you?" Mickey demanded. "And it's Jon's birthday too."

She knew it was, but Jon was so much easier than Janie. Janie had mood-swings and threw strops if she didn't get her own way. Jon was easy-going and laid back, far more mature and easy to deal with. That had always been the way. Sometimes Rose felt guilty for appearing to favour Janie over Jon, but she felt guilty for feeling the need to buy Janie things anyway. She didn't buy Jon things because she found him so much easier to be with, to _love_. Janie really wore her out sometimes.

"I know." Rose brushed his criticisms aside. "Anyway, I didn't ask you round to pass judgment on my spending habits. Everyone's in the garden." She led the way through the house. "You don't even need to worry about the barbeque this time, Jon's got it all sorted."

It was Jackie's birthday and they were having a barbeque in Rose's garden. It was partly because Rose didn't want her mum to have to lift a finger on her birthday, and partly because she wanted to show her newly patio-ed garden off. It had taken her eighteen years to get the garden looking nice, and she wanted to enjoy it now. Even if the clouds were threatening to built on the horizon.

Jonathan greeted Mickey cheerfully as they walked into the garden. "Look!" He grinned and gestured enthusiastically to the barbeque. "Haven't even burnt anything yet."

"There's time," Mickey replied. "Where's your gran?"

"You know I hate that name." Jackie came over, clutching a glass of wine.

Rose looked around. Her dad was watching over Jon's cooking carefully. Pete had always taken extra-special interest in her son; Rose was glad that he had a father figure in someone. She frowned. Janie was nowhere to be seen.

Jon saw his mother's look. "Janie's inside, Mum," he said. He wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing. "I'll go and get her if you like."

"No, I'll go," Rose insisted. "Carry on with the cooking." She headed back indoors, wondering what her daughter was up to. She found her on the phone in the living room.

"Yeah, I'll try and get out of this quick. It's just some family thing, dull as." Janie looked up and caught her mother's eye. "Erm, I'll call you back, Shaz, okay?" She hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Just Shaz."

Shaz. Janie's new best friend. Rose didn't like Shaz. She reminded her far too much of some of the rough girls back off the Powell Estate. If it was possible, Janie had become even more difficult since she'd started hanging out with Shaz.

"You're not going out tonight, are you?" Rose hadn't slept well last night at all. She kept having the strangest dreams and she'd woken up with a splitting headache at about five o'clock. She didn't think she could stand another night of sitting up waiting for Janie.

"I was going to go out and meet some friends," Janie replied.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Why?" Janie demanded. Rose could see the beginnings of a tantrum. She didn't know if she had the energy to deal with this now. "You can't expect me to stay in all night!"

Rose knew she was a bad mother. She sighed. "Okay. But I'll drop you off and pick you up. Who did you get a lift home with last night?"

"Just a friend." Janie fluffed her hair in the mirror. "I'll be outside if you want me."

Rose sat down heavily as her daughter flitted outside. She was usually so together, so able to cope. That's what staying up all night was, a coping strategy. At the moment, though, she could feel it starting to all unravel again. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She'd felt like this before, back when the twins were tiny. Then again when they began toddling. And again when they started school. But not for years now. She hated feeling like this, because there was nothing she could do to help herself. No one could help her. Because what she wanted, what she all of a sudden needed, was him. To have him here and by her side. To talk to him and discuss what to do about _their_ daughter. To have him hold her at night when she was lying awake waiting for the front door to open and the two of them to stumble in. To meet his eye when one of the kids said something funny and catch a grin stealing across his face. Just to have him.

"Rose, are you okay?"

Rose hadn't even been aware she was crying as she brushed two tears away. She looked up to see her dad looking down at her. He looked concerned. Rose had often wondered how he must feel to Pete to have this ready-made family. Most of the time she forgot he wasn't even really her father. But sometimes she remembered and she wondered.

"Yeah, fine, Dad."

He raised his eyebrows. "One of those days?" He was the only one she'd ever told about how she felt. She didn't know why. She supposed it was because, out of everyone, even though she called him Dad and thought of him as her father, he was the most distant, the most impartial. The only one who knew _this_ Rose Tyler.

She nodded. "But I'm fine now."

"Good." Pete reached out for her hand and pulled her to her feet. "You know, you get prettier every day."

"Oh, shut up!" She laughed. At thirty-eight, she knew she didn't look bad for her age. But she certainly didn't think she looked any prettier than she used to do.

"It's true." Pete put his hand on her chin gently. "Come on, cheer up. Your son's burning the sausages and your mother's drunk on Amaretto again. How perfect can one life be?"

Rose laughed again. It was silly to get herself down about things outside her control. She had a wonderful family. With or without him.


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the reviews. It's nice that some people don't mind the lack of Doctor at the mo... after all, Rose is a fantastic character, she deserves some story of her own!**

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**Jackie loved a good party. Her birthday at the week-end had been the usual rip-roaring affair, and Rose's garden was only just starting to recover from her mother's heels. She knew she should have made the patio just a bit larger. That barbeque, however, was nothing compared to what Jackie was planning for her grandchildren's eighteenth. 

Rose stared out of the window distractedly as her mum talked about food and music and presents and guests. She'd got in from work fifty minutes ago. Jon was upstairs, playing some computer game instead of studying for his exams, whilst Janie was lying on a sunlounger in the garden, topping up her already enviable tan. Rose half-wished she could join her, but knew it wouldn't be a good idea; lately she'd found it impossible to spend any time with her daughter without it ending in an argument. She really didn't think she had the energy this evening.

Rose vaguely remembered a time when she would have had the energy for anything. When she'd fight a few monsters, meet a few celebrities, dance the fandango and still not be ready for bed. It felt like a world away though, like the old Rose was someone from a film. All her memories now seemed to have an undertone of exhaustion and weariness. All the photos of her in this place made her look drained. Now, she was pleased if she could make it to work and back, cook some dinner and watch some TV before dozing off.

She couldn't blame the kids for all of it. Of course, having twins at the age of twenty, on her own, had been hard. She'd barely known how to begin looking after them, but she'd coped. She always coped. And it wasn't like she had been completely alone. Until the twins were three, Rose had lived with Jackie and Pete. It had taken her that long to feel settled enough to break out on her own, and she was glad they'd been there. Jackie had done this all before. And these days, they weren't too exhausting. No, the exhaustion wasn't all their fault. Rose knew the lack of energy was just something she'd have to live with, because it was because of him. Missing him and wanting him and needing him and loving him. It had worn her down over the years, and it would continue to for many more, she was sure. Because he wasn't coming back…

"Rose? Rose, are you even listening?" Jackie looked up from the guest list at her daughter.

"Yeah, of course!"

"Then what do you think?"

Rose wondered if she could bluff her way out of this one. She'd never been that good at it when she was younger. She hadn't had much practice in years. Maybe honesty was the best policy.

Looking up guiltily she asked, "What do I think of what?"

Jackie groaned. "About the guest list! Is there anyone missing do you think? I've put down all their friends, or as many of them as I can remember. Oh, hold on! That Shaz one that Janie goes on about."

Rose moved the list away from underneath her mum's biro. "No, I don't think so." She tried to appear nonchalant when Jackie looked at her questioningly. "I think Janie's got enough down on the list already."

Jackie nodded slowly. "Right. So I was thinking… Rose, are you okay, love? You look very distant."

She felt very distant. More and more lately, her mind had been wandering, thinking back over the last eighteen years. Every time she thought about the twins turning eighteen, she felt physically sick, like someone was wrenching out her insides. It was incomprehensible that so much time had passed, that they'd grown up, that she'd aged so much, all just sitting and waiting around for him. Her mind sometimes wandered even further and she found herself day-dreaming about him, imagining his reaction to seeing his grown-up children. He'd be so proud.

But he'd never know. So she might as well look forward.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired." The age old excuse. She could remember using it back when she'd first found out she was pregnant. It had been the scariest day of her life. Barely two weeks after she'd found herself transported to this place, she'd sat in the bathroom in Pete's house and cried. She hadn't known exactly who she was crying for the most, herself, her baby or for him. It had taken her days to confess it all to her mother, who had looked as upset as her originally.

Jackie looked at her suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mum, I'm fine!" Rose snapped unintentionally. She sighed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout, I'm just…"

"Tired." Jackie nodded, and patted her daughter's back. "I know." It was her turn to sigh. "You know, I missed your dad when you turned eighteen. I just kept thinking how proud he'd be of you."

Rose's shoulders slumped. Of course Jackie would understand what she was feeling; she'd been there before. "I just keep wondering… well, what would he think, Mum? Of Jon and Janie, I mean."

Jackie smiled and kissed Rose on the cheek. "He'd think they were wonderful, because they are. And he'd want them to have a brilliant party, so we better get on and organize it."

Rose couldn't help grinning as they set to work again.

* * *

Telling Mickey about the baby had been harder than telling her mum. Rose had winced as she spoke the words, but Jackie had taken pity on her daughter. Her instinctive reaction had been to demand answers, yell at Rose, curse the Doctor. But one look from Pete and she'd known she couldn't. This was her little girl, curled on the sofa, tears pouring down her face, scared and lost and needing her mum. She couldn't be angry with her. 

Mickey, though. He didn't owe Rose anything anymore, he didn't have to forgive her for what she'd done. It hadn't been cheating; Mickey had gone already. But Rose couldn't help feeling a little ashamed of herself as she sat down in his new flat and took a deep breath.

"Cup of tea?" Mickey asked, flicking the switch on the kettle.

Rose shook her head hurriedly. Tea made her feel ill these days.

"You used to love tea, couldn't get enough of the stuff. You and him, obsessed with tea you were…"

"Yeah, well, things change." Rose shrugged. "Actually, Mickey, I've got something to tell you."

"Yeah?" He was barely listening, as he hunted for the tin of biscuits that he just _knew_ were around somewhere.

"Yeah. Mickey, I'm really not hungry or anything, can you just come and sit down?"

He frowned. "What's up?" He didn't come and sit down. Rose wondered if this was the extent of their relationship now; she'd drop round and visit, and he'd fuss around over tea and biscuits. She really didn't want that.

Taking another deep breath, she closed her eyes and said quickly, "I'm pregnant." There was silence. She opened her eyes tentatively, looking for a reaction from him. He'd sat down heavily in an armchair. "Mickey? Say something?"

He looked astonished. "Pregnant? Like, with… I mean, is it…?" He shook his head. "Sorry, I just…"

Rose nodded. "It's okay. I figured it would be a bit of a shock for you. And I'm sorry, Mickey, I really am, I…"

"Hey, hold on!" He looked up at her. "Sorry for what?"

Rose felt tears roll down her face again. "For… for this!" She gestured to herself. "I always said there was nothing between me and him and now…"

Mickey moved to sit next to her on the sofa and put his arm around her, hesitantly at first, but when she fell into him, he held her more tightly. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "You and me… we were long over, weren't we?" It was the first time he'd admitted it all to himself. "We were over as soon as you stepped into that box. It's okay. I've got used to it. You and him… it was all about you, wasn't?"

Rose sniffed into his shoulder. "It only happened once," she said in a tiny voice.

"No, it didn't. Don't start saying that." Mickey lifted his ex-girlfriend's head off his shoulder.

Rose blushed through her tears. "It wasn't happening when you were with us, it only all happened when you were gone and-"

"Rose," Mickey interrupted her. "I don't care, okay? I don't want to know about it all."

Rose nodded and tried to regain some of her composure. "I know, I'm sorry. I just… what am I going to do, Mick?"

Mickey sighed and pulled her into a hug. "You're going to have his baby. And make him proud."


	5. Chapter 4

**It's starting to get a bit more Doctor-y this chapter, and then it all starts getting weird in the next one. Thanks for bearing with Rose's life for so long... I promise you, sooner or later, he's coming!**

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**Monday morning. Rose stifled a yawn as she sat in the Monday morning meeting and listened to what developments the week-end team had observed. Nothing hugely exciting. The usual blips on radars, which might signal an incoming invasion in their eyes. Rose always wanted to get up and correct them. Aliens were cleverer than that; they'd never find them just because of a blue dot on a screen. But she couldn't; her dad and Mickey were the only two in Torchwood who knew of Rose's past life. 

Looking round the room, Rose wondered why all these people had joined the organization. There were the usual science brains who scribbled things down frantically on sheets of paper, making objections at random intervals to some point someone had raised. She was sure they'd only joined to be at the forefront of technology. But there were others who seemed genuinely interested in what they were trying to achieve: contact with another lifeform from across the galaxy. These were the people she was interested in, the ones who sat and listened carefully, not so they could correct people, but so they could learn. Or, even better in her view, the ones who stared out the windows, dreamy expressions on their faces. They were the real alien hunters.

Doodling on a sheet of paper, pretending to take notes, Rose watched the enthusiastic young man giving the week-end report to the rest of the staff. He was quite new, he'd only joined in the last few weeks. Week-ends, strangely were usually pretty slow on alien activity. Rose supposed even aliens needed a break from the day job. New recruits were put onto the week-end shifts to test their mettle; could they stand sitting in an office for hours just waiting for the tiniest change in the Earth's atmosphere which would no doubt mean nothing? Most people didn't last beyond this stage, and would leave without knowing anything even vaguely interesting. But this bloke… he was enthusing over every little reading he'd picked up, suggesting what it could possibly mean. Rose hardly listened to half of it, just picking up some words.

"… and the combination of the readings suggest that there's been some unusual and unexpected explosion of a star," he said as she tuned back in. "The star was, by all accounts, young and far from being ready to expand…."

"Toby, thank you, that's enough." The team leader, Alexander, stopped him. He'd been glancing at his watch constantly for almost three minutes. He was late for a meeting with the seniors obviously. "If you could pass the rest of the week-end's reports round this morning amongst yourselves. I must dash, business as usual everybody."

Rose was more than a little annoyed. She reached for a copy of Toby's report more quickly than she usually did, and flipped through it. There it was, the table of readings about the star exploding. She couldn't believe Alexander had dismissed it so easily. This was the most alien thing she'd seen in weeks. They could forget all the radar readings of UFOs and strange happenings in foreign countries. Controlling the planets and stars; that was alien. _I'm blowing up a sun just to say goodbye_. She shook her head. Why had she thought of that? It had been years…

And yet suddenly she was back on that beach eighteen years ago, remembering how it felt to have someone do that for you. Most guys wouldn't even bother with a text or a phone call. But he'd orbited a supernova for her. That was special. And now they just wanted to _ignore_ a star blowing up out of the blue? No way.

Typing in her password on the computer, Rose began searching the archive for more information. Whatever they said, stars didn't just explode randomly. There must have been warning signs, suggestions of something happening, something unusual…

ACCESS DENIED.

She frowned as the message came up on screen. She wasn't even in a particularly sensitive area of the network, it was usually open to all. She reloaded the page and tried again.

ACCESS DENIED.

"Problem?" Leanne, the woman who worked opposite her, asked. Leanne had worked here for nearly two years now, and Rose had always found her good company.

"No." Rose shook her head. "Not really. It just won't let me access part of the network, that's all. Have you had any problems?"

Leanne shook her head, looking bemused. "No, not so far." She clicked a few things on screen. "Nope, all good." She came round to Rose's side of the desk. "What are you having difficulty getting into?"

"The alien activity folder." Rose highlighted the section she wanted to look at. It contained all the last week's confirmed alien reports, all the sightings that could be linked with other evidence to produce a full conclusion pointing to a real alien. It was normally easy to get into, mainly because there was normally nothing in it. She'd never been denied access before.

Leanne frowned, her forehead furrowing. "I don't know… that's strange." Going back to her computer she tried. "Well, it works on mine."

Rose stood up, but Leanne gave her a sharp look.

"Rose, I can't…" She looked awkward. "I mean, if you're being denied access there must be a reason…" She shrugged. "Sorry."

Rose felt irrationally annoyed. She wanted to demand that Leanne stop being so ridiculous and let her have a look at that folder. But she knew the company rules.

Forcing a smile onto her face, she said, "Oh, no it's fine. I mean, it's only a folder isn't it?" She laughed. "There's probably just something wrong with my password or something. I'll ask the IT department to check it later."

* * *

Rose remembered a time when she'd spent every waking moment trying to track him down. After he'd gone away, after she'd been left on that beach, she'd tried to find him anyway she could. After landing herself a job at Torchwood, she had used all the information she was allowed to work out where he was. She used to spend every evening trawling the internet for any sightings. But there was nothing; he didn't even exist here. 

Then she'd begun running up to strangers in the street. Any man who wore a brown suit, or Converse or smelt vaguely like him. Time after time she'd lay her hand on their shoulder, and they'd jerk round. And they weren't him. In her heart of hearts, she always knew it wouldn't be, but she couldn't bear to risk it. What if it was him and she missed him, by a matter of feet? She knew it embarrassed her mother and Mickey, up to the point where they found it difficult to go out with her, but she was beyond that now. She'd suffer a million embarrassing situations if it meant she could have him back.

One night she broke. The internet wouldn't connect. She'd tried over and over, and it just wouldn't work. It was nearly two in the morning and she couldn't sleep. The twins were kicking like crazy, or at least one of them was. Looking back now, she suspected it was Janie; she was always the more violent of the two.

In exasperation, Rose reached for the phone, forgetting the time. She dialed the number and let it ring. And ring and ring…

"Hello?"

"Mickey!"

"Rose? What's wrong?"

"Nothing much, I just… my internet isn't working."

There was a long pause.

"Your internet isn't working?"

"No. I was wondering, could you come over and have a look at it?"

There was another, longer pause.

"Mickey?"

He let out a long sigh. "You phoned me at two in the morning to ask me to come and look at your internet connection?"

Rose's eyes darted to the clock on the computer. She bit her lip anxiously. "I didn't realize it was that late."

She could imagine Mickey shaking his head. "It's fine, I'll come."

"No, it's okay." Rose's bottom lip started trembling. "Sorry for waking you up, Mickey, don't worry about it. I'll just…" She didn't know what she was going to do. "Good night." She replaced the phone with a shaky hand and slumped over the desk, all her energy suddenly gone.

"Rose?" She jumped slightly as she heard her mum coming into the room. "Rose, who were you on the phone to?" The light flickered on, and Rose blinked.

"Mickey."

"Why on earth were you talking to him at this time of night?"

"The internet wasn't working," Rose said in a flat tone.

"What?" Jackie nearly shrieked. "It's two in the morning, Rose, what were you even thinking?"

"I don't know." Rose met her mother's eyes guiltily. "I really don't know anymore, Mum." She blinked away tears. "I just… Mum, I need to find him, I…"

Jackie sighed heavily. "Rose, sweetie, you've tried. You've done everything… what else can you do?"

"I don't know, but there must be something!" Rose burst into full-sobs. "He must be somewhere, there must be some record of him, there must be some way…"

Jackie put an arm around her daughter. "He said there wasn't. This isn't good for you, Rose, you or the babies. You need to sleep, you need to stop this pointless searching." She stroked her hair. "Oh Rose. He's not worth this."

"But he is, Mum," Rose managed to say. "He's worth it all."

And Jackie knew there was little she could do for her daughter right now. Because she truly believed that; she believed that this man, this Doctor, was worth everything, every tear, every sleepless night, every stupid phone call.

Finally, Rose stopped crying and stood up. The twins had quietened down and she felt tired for the first time in weeks.

"I'm going to go to bed," she said.

"Good idea." Jackie nodded. She hugged her. "It's going to get easier, sweetheart. I know you don't think it right now, but it will."

Rose nodded. "I know. Thanks Mum."

Since then, she'd stopped her searching. He wasn't coming back, she knew that much. When the twins had asked about their father, she'd explained that he'd gone away to work and wouldn't be coming back. They'd never really questioned it. And so she'd all but written him out of their lives. He wasn't coming back; she'd never see him again. And, most of the time, that was okay.


	6. Chapter 5

**Things take a very Doctor-y turn this chapter. He appears... if only briefly and in a very strange fashion... and it all gets a bit weird.**

**On another note, really serious question... does anyone know if theres a limit on the number of chapters a story can have on here? Cause I'm currently writing chapter 28 and I'd say that was about 1/5 of the amount I'm going to end up writing... so was wondering what people's thoughts were on my two options: a) make this a shockingly long story or b) divide it into a trilogy cos it's sort of going to have three parts anyway.**

**Your thoughts would be most appreciated :D god i sound pretentious there!**

**

* * *

**They were home early. Rose was instantly alert. They were never home before one. She often wished they'd make it home earlier, but they never did. Something must be wrong. 

Walking into the hall, she tried to pretend everything was normal, as Janie was marched in ahead of Jon.

"Have a good night?" she asked, faking a smile.

"Great," Janie replied flatly, a sulky look on her face. Rose wished she wouldn't look like that. "Great until he ruined it." She shot her brother a filthy look, despising him with every cell in her body. At least it made a change from her despising her mother.

Rose looked to Jon, her head on one side questioningly. He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. She had to hide her smile; his mannerisms were so like his father.

"Janie, you know why I brought you home," he said patiently.

"Because you're pathetic."

He rolled his eyes. "Mum, some weird bloke was chatting her up-"

"He was not chatting me up!" Janie shrieked.

"- And I thought she ought to get out of there," Jon concluded. "Only she wasn't so keen on coming."

"Mum, he wasn't even chatting me up, he was just talking!" Janie exclaimed. "Jon doesn't know what he's talking about." She tossed her head, her long dark hair shimmering across her back. She'd already bought the hair dye and vowed that she'd be blonde the second the minute hand hit midnight on her birthday. Rose almost felt like crying; she loved that chocolate hair. There was a time when she used to love spending hours brushing it until it shown, all the amber flecks shimmering in the light. She couldn't bare to think it would soon be gone.

Janie threw her jacket at the banister and missed, leaving it to crumple on the floor. "I'm going to bed." She stomped upstairs and gave Jon a final angry glare as she turned the corner to go up the second flight.

Rose turned to her son. "What happened?" she asked.

Jon shrugged. "Oh, it was nothing big, Mum. This guy was just a bit weird. Kept asking her questions about herself and stuff. And you know Janie, she hasn't got an ounce of common sense, just kept telling him everything and anything she could think of, even if he didn't ask her."

Rose nodded but couldn't help feeling anxious. "What kinds of things was he asking her?" she said, following Jon into the kitchen.

He poured himself a glass of water and took a long gulp while he thought it over. "Just stuff. You know, name, age, what she did… just everything about her really." He frowned as he thought back. "He wasn't really that aggressive or anything, just… I don't know, he…"

"He what?"

"He didn't seem like a normal bloke. He sort of seemed… wrong." He shrugged. "But what do I know?" He finished his drink and put his glass in the sink. "I'm going to bed too." He kissed her on the cheek. "Mum, you look exhausted. You need to stop waiting up for us so much."

Rose smiled as her son went to bed. She tried to calm her anxiety. They were both fine. Janie was safe, Jon had brought her home. It had only been a guy hitting on her, nothing dangerous at all. But Rose knew what was out there to harm people, she'd seen more than she could ever tell her children. When she told them to be careful, she wasn't just talking about bad drivers and drink spikers. She was talking about aliens and monsters and spirits and evil. And there was no-one who could save them from that.

* * *

Janie had always been a bit of a wanderer. Right back when they were little, it was Janie who had refused to hold Rose's hand on shopping trips and walks. Rose couldn't count the number of times that she'd lost sight of her daughter and felt the familiar panic and fear. She'd get so angry at Janie when she reappeared, and it wasn't all the little girl's fault. Rose knew part of the emotion was directed at him, for giving that wandering gene to his daughter. For leaving her behind. 

This evening had reminded her of all those fears. Lying in her too big bed, Rose knew it was stupid. Eighteen years and still the smallest thing could make her lie awake at night, her mind rushing back to those few short moments on the beach. The day she'd changed forever. It had been the moment her old life had ended, and her new one had begun.

It hadn't been his fault. She'd been the one to let go too early. He hadn't deliberately let her fall into the void. And he'd come to say goodbye. But sometimes, when she was feeling sad and lonely and scared, she blamed him. She couldn't count the number of times she'd lain awake, cursing his very existence, wishing she'd never met him, never taken his hand in that basement, never followed him into that box. If she hadn't, she'd be back home now, playing it safe. Being normal. _Really_ normal, not this half-life she was living.

Then, as her anger subsided, she'd feel guilty for trying to wish him into non-existence. It hurt her to think of never having met him, never traveling with him, never falling in love with him. Being in love with him was so much a part of her, the person she'd become. She didn't know where she'd be, who she'd be, without that tiny flame that still burnt brightly inside of her.

She fell asleep eventually, worn out from her worrying. She plunged into the strangest dream she'd had for a long time. She always dreamt about him, of course she did. If her mind was left to its own devices, it always returned to him. She'd had so many dreams in the last eighteen years. Dreams of what had been, what was. What could have been. What should have been. But that's all they were, just dreams. Only this one felt so real.

She was standing on that beach again, her younger, former self. Sand whipped up off the ground in the wind, getting into her eyes and her teeth. Salty tears trickled down her face, gathering in pools at the corner of her mouth. She stared out over the sea, to the horizon. The sea seemed to go on and on. Then finally there was a strip of light, right where the sea ended and the sky began. It was this she was staring at, looking for something, she didn't know what.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" That voice. Those tones, so deliciously tangible in the air again. She didn't need to turn round to know it was him. She could feel him even across the three feet between them.

She nodded. "Yes." Turning to face him she added, "You came back."

"I know." That smile. Those freckles. That stupid messy hair. It was all him, all so him. He held his hand out and she took it. He was really here.

They walked for miles, in silence. It was everything she'd ever wanted. Then a scream pierced through their reverie.

"Mum!"

Turning, Rose saw Janie, a look of pure terror on her face, as she was being dragged backwards into a black space. Rose made a move to go after her daughter, but found herself being dragged backwards by… him. He wasn't loosening her hand, wasn't even looking in Janie's direction. He smiled. And pulled her away from Janie.

"Mum!"

* * *

"Mum? Mum, wake up!" 

Rose jerked awake as something shook her. Some_one_. Janie. Her daughter, dressed in her pyjamas, looked down at her, her dark hair tumbling across her face out of the pony tail she had it tightly pulled back in. Rose couldn't help noticing her panda eyes; clearly her daughter was as forgetful as she was when it came to removing make-up at night.

"What time is it?" Rose frowned. Janie was never up this early during the school holidays. She rolled over and looked at the clock. "What? Why didn't anyone wake me up any earlier? It's nearly eleven o'clock!"

"You usually wake yourself up!" Janie pointed out. "There's a phone call for you. From work."

Rose groaned. "Can you tell them I'm ill?"

Janie thrust the portable phone out towards her. "Tell them yourself."

Rose grimaced. Trust Janie to suddenly gain some sort of morality on the one day she asked her to lie for her. She couldn't count the number of times in the past that Janie had herself rung into school or college or work to declare pitifully into the receiver that she was _far_ too sick to even _consider_ going in that day.

Taking the phone off of her, Rose collected her thoughts and answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, Rose, it's Rachel from personnel." Oh God, not Rachel. Perfect perky Rachel on extension number forty. With her long blonde hair and tanned legs and designer wardrobe. Rose sometimes daydreamed that she could have ended up like Rachel, the poised and collected business woman. Then she'd realize it was beyond her; Rachel was like a Barbie doll, with a bite.

"Rachel." Rose attempted a cough. Janie gave a snort of disgust from where she was standing. Rose shot her daughter a glare. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't call in," Rose began lying. "I've been coming down with a cold for a few days, and I thought I was over the worst of it, but I've only just woken up and I feel awful. I think it might be 'flu."

"Really?" Rose could hear Rachel tapping things into a computer. "Well, it might have been nice if you'd called us…" she said, sounding irritated.

"I know, I'm sorry," Rose apologized again. "Only, like I said, I only just woke up."

There was a decided pause. "Well, I suppose seeing as this is the first time you've taken sick leave in four years we can let it slide this once. Keep us notified. Goodbye."

"Bye." Rose switched the phone off and lay back in bed thankfully. She hadn't been entirely dishonest; she did feel a bit off colour this morning.

"Mum, that was rubbish!" Janie exclaimed. "What was that cough all about?"

"If you'd answered it like I asked you to…" Rose said wearily, not in the mood for a fight with Janie this morning.

"You always say not to expect someone else to do your dirty work for you," Janie reminded her. She was grinning triumphantly, knowing she had her mum there. "That if you're really that ill, the least you can do is manage to ring in."

Rose was about to answer when Janie gave a small shriek, and jumped.

"What is it?" Rose sat up, frowning.

Janie looked at the rug accusingly. "What have you got under there, Mum, a hot plate?" She turned her foot over and on the sole was a prominent red patch, like a burn mark. She tried to put weight on it and winced.

Rose stared at the rug. In the very centre, it seemed like a light was coming through.

"Look at my foot, Mum!" Janie wailed. "What is under here?" She pulled the rug back and revealed a key, small and glowing. "What is that for?"

"Nothing." Rose stared at it. "Go and wash your foot, it'll stop it hurting."

"But Mum, that key is _burning_, why's it doing that?"

"Janie! Just go."

Janie hesitated a moment, on the brink of throwing a tantrum, before she flounced out. Leaving Rose to stare at the key and wonder what it meant. It was still glowing on the floor, red-hot. It had lain under that rug harmlessly for eighteen years. Her key to the TARDIS, that he'd given her all that time ago as a promise he wouldn't leave her behind. That out of everyone, she was the one he'd always want there. It had only done this once before, this burning trick, and she could remember the wide grin that had spread across his face, from one large ear to the other, as though all his Christmases had come at once. It had meant all wasn't lost, that there was a way back from all this. That he could still save them all.

Leaving the key where it was, Rose reached out from her bed and picked up her laptop from the floor. Curling up under her duvet and connecting to the wireless network that Mickey had spent so long installing only a few months ago, she began searching. Doctor. Blue box. Oncoming storm. Time Lord. She knew all the old tricks. If he was out there, she'd find him.


	7. Chapter 6

**Okay, I think I'm gonna leave this story as one long story just because it'll work better I think... even if the eventual amount of chapters will scare off new readers lol. Bit slow again in this chapter... but I wanted to properly re-establish Rose and Mickey's friendship before everything goes insane around them.

* * *

**

Mickey sat down at the computer and began typing his details in, hesitantly. He glanced over his shoulder. "Rose, if we get caught…"

"How can we get caught? You've been asked to stay late," Rose reminded him. "It's not like we're here illegally."

"I'm not." He turned to look at her. "You are."

Rose ignored that. "So I'll deal with that if it comes to it."

"You know what could happen if I'm found to be showing you limited files?" Mickey said. "I could lose my job. All this, Rose, everything I've worked for… gone!"

Rose jutted her jaw out defiantly. "So don't. Tell me to go, and continue doing your usual work."

Mickey turned away from her. "You know I can't do that."

Rose had to smile. Poor old Mickey. After all this time, he'd still do anything for her. He'd still risk his job to make her happy. If happy is what this would make her. She didn't even know what happiness was anymore.

"Right, what am I looking for?" Mickey began scanning the network.

"The last week's activity," Rose prompted him. "It wouldn't let me into it the other day, it locked me out." She wanted to know why. It wasn't classified information, and even it was, she was one of the most senior people on her floor. Why would they be keeping information from her and no one else?

"It's being slow." Mickey sat back in his chair. "The network's being updated, of course."

Rose rolled her eyes. "What, with more pointless observations? I wish they'd just get on and do some real alien searching." She sat down in a chair and moved nearer. "How long will it take?"

Mickey shrugged. "Probably long enough for you to explain why exactly we're doing this." Rose blushed and looked away. He raised his eyebrows. "Rose?"

She sighed. "I just want to know what's in that file, that's all." Mickey looked at her doubtfully. "It is! I want to know why they'd lock me out of a perfectly normal routine file. What's so important that I mustn't find it out?"

Mickey studied her intently for a few moments, his old friend. She'd changed in the last few years; they both had. Grown older, but not necessarily wiser. But tonight there was something of the old spark about Rose, her eyes were full of life and determination.

"You think it's him, don't you?"

Rose faked ignorance. "No. Of course not."

"Yeah you do. You think they've found him and aren't telling you."

"No, I don't!" Rose glowered at him. "Mickey, he's gone, I know that, I'm not crazy or deluded! Anyway, they don't even know I had anything to do with him. They don't even know he exists."

"You think." The network flashed up and Mickey pressed a few buttons. "That should speed things up a bit," he said, before turning back to her. "Rose, do you really think Torchwood don't know about you and him?"

Rose shrugged. "How could they?"

"Rose, they know everything," Mickey pointed out. "They've got records of alien activity going back years." He hesitated before adding, "They know you and him were here, years ago. The first time."

Rose's eyes widened, but she regained herself quickly. "So? Doesn't mean anything." Hesitantly she added, "How do you know?"

"I stumbled across a file one day," Mickey replied. "When we were doing the upgrade. They wanted anything unimportant deleted."

"And?"

"It was marked high importance. It should still be around somewhere, in the archive."

The screen flickered again and Rose leaned forward in her chair expectantly. "That one," she pointed. "That's the file we want."

Mickey duly clicked on it. The screen flashed up. "Access denied," he read. "Sorry Rose." He made to exit the programme but Rose put her hand over his and stopped him. Her hand was trembling ever so slightly.

"Rose?" Mickey looked at her. "Rose, I can't get into it, it won't let me. I'm sorry."

Rose didn't remove her hand. "But you know a way round it, don't you?"

Mickey frowned. "I don't quite understand you…"

Rose sighed exasperatedly. "Mickey, you've hacked into all sorts of things. Navy databases and encrypted files and stuff. This can't be that hard."

"You want me to…?"

"Override the system." Rose fixed him with a steady gaze. "You must know how."

Mickey regarded his old friend. She was serious, more serious than he'd seen her in ages. "Rose…"

"Mickey."

Her jaw was set and her eyes flashed determinedly. She wanted this so badly, she looked like she'd kill for it. But he couldn't. He pushed his chair back and away from the computer, shaking his head, and stood up.

"What are you doing that for?" Rose demanded.

"I can't." Mickey shook his head, turning away. "Rose, I'd love to, but I can't do that. I'm sorry."

She didn't reply. He turned round and found her sitting in his abandoned chair, pressing buttons.

"What are you doing?"

"If you won't, I will." Rose swore as the computer denied her access again. "Stupid bloody thing!"

"You don't know what you're doing!" Mickey pointed out, looking over his shoulder anxiously.

"I know." Still she carried on trying. Mickey knew that eventually, if she kept persisting like this, then she'd lock him out of the network all together. He'd be investigated for trying so hard.

"Rose… this… this isn't some game!" he tried, exasperatedly.

Rose dropped the mouse and it swung off the desk. She turned to face him, eyes blazing angrily. "Do you not think I know that? Mickey, I know this isn't a game, it's never been a game since the day I came here! All I'm asking for is a bit of help to find out what's in the file that's so special that I'm not allowed to see it! That we're _both_ not allowed to see it!" She knew that would appeal to him. Mickey had always hated encrypted files on the computers, and could never resist trying to find his way into it. Or at least, usually.

"Rose, I just think there's a reason that we're being denied access." Mickey tried to calm her down. It was the most fired up he'd seen Rose in years; he'd become almost accustomed to her being washed-out and fragile in a very quiet way. He wondered if tonight was the night; the night she'd finally crack and break down.

"And I want to know what that is!" Rose cried. "What if it is him, Mickey, don't you at least want to know what it is about him?" She ran a hand through her hair. "You've met him, you know what he's all about! I just want to know…" She sat down heavily in her chair. "I just want to know if he's alive."

Mickey sat down in the other chair. "Really?" She nodded. "No, Rose, really. If it is about him, and he's alive, is that it? Will you give up then, content in the knowledge that he's safe and alive? Or will you carry on hunting for him, torturing yourself?"

Rose shrugged half-heartedly. She knew the answer deep inside. If he was still alive she'd never stop searching, not until the last breath in her body was gone. Even thinking about him still twisted something deep inside her, until she wanted to be _doing_ something, something that could bring her closer to him again. If he was alive, that would only be the beginning.

"Whatever I do, isn't it my choice?" she asked eventually, softly. "I'm a big girl, now Mickey. I think I can make my own decisions. If you'll help me."

Mickey finally nodded and turned back to his screen. Here went nothing.


	8. Chapter 7

**Going domestic again in this chapter... And I'll be honest, the quote from The Impossible Planet might not be right cos I can't find my video with it on and I haven't got the boxset yet (3 days till Xmas hooray!) so it might be a bit wrong but its the gist of it. I'll probably come back and change it one day.**

**

* * *

**Rose had been so preoccupied with her searching, that she'd left nearly all the party preparations to her mother. It worried her a bit; Jackie had always had a sense of the theatrical about her, and she fully expected to find some sort of riot being planned. But she was more worried about what Mickey had found out. 

She was reading the print-out he'd given her again. She'd read and re-read it several times since that night at Torchwood. It had confirmed everything she'd suspected in the last few weeks. The ear-popping, the glowing key, the strange files at work… he was coming back. The readings had gone crazy over the last week or so, and they'd picked up the formations of several black holes. Rose remembered a time she'd asked him about black holes.

_I've seen black holes, in films. They say they lead to other worlds._

_Not this one._

But he'd never said that _no_ black hole would lead to another universe. It was all too much of a coincidence, all of this. And there was that feeling too; she could feel deep down that something was changing, that she was on the brink of everything. He was back, she could sense it.

"Mum, what's for dinner?" Janie appeared in the doorway, hanging off the frame, her long hair trailing down her back. She'd been surprisingly quiet all day, and had stayed upstairs. Rose suddenly realized she'd barely even noticed that.

"Dinner?" Rose looked at the clock. It was nearly six o'clock. She'd got home from work at four and worked solidly since then. Dinner was the last thing on her mind.

"Yeah, dinner." Janie rolled her eyes. "What is wrong with you, Mum, you've been like this all week." She peered at the mass of papers on the table curiously.

Rose hastily gathered it all together. "Just some stuff for work, love, you know I can't show you it. I'll get something ready now." She piled everything up carefully. "Pasta bake do you?"

"I suppose." Janie sighed heavily.

Rose looked up sharply. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just…" Janie tailed off. This was unlike her. She was usually so direct and snappy. Even before she'd become a teenager, she'd always acted like she knew so much better than her mother, and Rose had sometimes wondered if she did. She was half-Time Lord after all. There had often been a sort of world-weariness about Janie, as though she knew it all and had seen everything before, and Rose's worrying was a waste of time and energy. Maybe it was. There wasn't anything she could do with worrying.

"You look a bit pale." Rose scanned her daughter quickly from head to toe, wondering if she looked a bit thinner, a bit more tired. But all that struck was how stunning she'd become. It wasn't that she was entirely surprised; Janie had always been a lovely looking girl, right from when she was tiny. But now she was something else altogether. Looking at her daughter made Rose even more keen to get to the bottom of all this stuff piled up.

"I didn't sleep well last night," Janie admitted, her hair falling over her face as she looked down at the ground.

"Do you feel ill?"

"No, I just kept having strange dreams." Janie shrugged.

"What sort of strange dreams?" Rose took a step towards her daughter.

"Oh nothing really." Janie shook her head. "I'm going to go and have a bath before dinner."  
"No, Janie, tell me about these dreams."

"Mum, just drop it, it's not important!" Janie had well and truly found her usual mode again. "You make such a fuss over nothing sometimes." She flounced back upstairs noisily.

"What's up with her?" Jon asked as he wandered out of the living room, pulling the earphones to his mp3 player out of his ears.

"Oh nothing much," Rose faked cheerfulness. "I was going to do a pasta bake for dinner, okay?"

"Yeah." Jon followed her into the kitchen. He stood awkwardly, watching as his mother moved around, clearing away the plates and cups they'd abandoned on worktops after coming in from school.

"If you're going to stand in the way, you can make yourself useful," Rose handed him a bowl. "Make some salad, you two don't eat enough green stuff. And it doesn't count in burgers," she added, before he could protest. Only he had made no attempt to protest, and that worried her. She watched her son for a few moments. He was always quieter than his sister, always less tempestuous and highly-strung. She never normally noticed him being quiet; that was just Jon's way. But now Janie had gone silent and strange, brooding over strange dreams and looking less than healthy, and Jon too seemed strained, like there was something he wasn't telling her. No one had ever said being a parent was easy, but she sometimes wished someone had warned her how hard it was. She could still remember one night, back when the twins were tiny, when she'd still been up at three in the morning, desperately trying to coax Janie to sleep. The baby would lie contentedly in Rose's arms, but as soon as she was placed back in her cot, she'd begin her whimpers and squeals again, demanding more attention. Jackie had sat up with her, giving her daughter encouragement. After the fifth time of trying to put Janie down, Rose had sat back on the sofa exhaustedly.

"I don't know how you did this on your own, Mum," she'd sighed. "I'm exhausted."

"You weren't so demanding as this little one." Jackie had smiled and taken her grand-daughter off Rose for a bit. "She must get that from her dad."

"Yes, probably." Rose yawned widely. "I'm looking forward to the day she sleeps straight through. When I can stop worrying."

"Oh you never stop that," Jackie put in immediately. Rose had felt her mum's eyes ranging over her, taking in everything about her daughter. "Never."

Now she knew it was true. Everything about her children worried Rose half to death. And this silence was worrying her more than most things had for years.

"Jon, is everything alright?" she asked eventually, as he began slicing tomatoes.

Jon looked up, narrowly avoiding slicing his thumb off. "Yeah, 'course. Why?"

"It's just… you and Janie have been so quiet lately." Rose shrugged. "I know I've been a bit distant, what with work and everything, but I have noticed you've both been a bit… well, quiet."

"We're fine."

Rose still pushed on. "Are you sure? Is something bothering Janie?"

"Like what?"

"Well, she's not…" Rose's mind searched for everything that could possibly be bothering her daughter, and came up with a worrying number of results. "There's not anything that I should know about, is there? She's not in any kind of… trouble?"

Jon shook his head. "No, she's fine." But there was a guarded look in his eye, and Rose remembered several whispered conversations she'd stumbled upon in the last week. In the old days, back when they were as thick as thieves and as troublesome as tinkers, she'd have expected some sort of prank, but they were past all that now. They weren't as close anymore, but something still held them together, above all best friends. If there was something wrong with Janie, Jon would know.

"Jon, if there is anything wrong with her, I want to know." She gauged his reaction. "There is something, isn't there?"

He shrugged awkwardly.

"Jon… tell me." Rose's heart was thudding; maybe there really was something wrong with her little girl and she'd completely missed it, too wrapped up in searching for him. She'd never forgive herself.

"She's just getting a bit… down about our birthday," Jon said, not meeting his mother's eye.

Rose frowned. "But I thought she was looking forward to it? She's been collecting all the cards that come through the door like crazy. And the party on Saturday… she keeps going on and on about it." It didn't make sense. Janie loved birthdays, especially her own. She loved dressing up and being the centre of attention and getting presents.

"Yeah, but she's…" Jon tailed off before finding the right words. "She's hoping that Dad might send something."

A shudder passed down her spine. People used to say that was someone walking over your grave; it felt more like someone walking over his grave to Rose. She blinked several times, trying to process the information.

"What? But… why? He never has before."

"No, I know, but what with us being eighteen and everything…" Jon shrugged. "She's got a point, Mum. Most fathers do at least acknowledge their kid's eighteenth." He looked at her, and his dark eyes seemed to be asking her the question that would never pass his lips, never in a million years. _Will our dad remember?_

Rose didn't know what to say at first. Jon had always been so rational and accepting. She couldn't remember when he'd ever mentioned his father; now she really thought about she realized he never had before. It was like he'd completely written him out of his life too. Janie had been more difficult, always demanding when she was much younger, that her daddy should come to her birthday this year, or to know more about him. But even she hadn't said anything like that in years. Rose had thought those painful days were over, she could bury her feelings far away, undisturbed by anyone.

Finally she found the right words and spoke. "I don't think he will, Jon." She expected that to be the end of it. She looked up hopefully and saw Jon putting down the knife and walking out of the kitchen. She breathed a sigh of relief. Deflected for another day at least.


	9. Chapter 8

**This seemed a pretty fitting chapter for the last update before Xmas as it sort of brings this very very first bit to a close before the big events of the following chapters. Though I'd have loved to have ended on a big cliffhanger which appears in Chapter 11... look out for it!**

**Happy Xmas!**

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**In their whole lives, Rose could only remember talking to the twins about their father on five separate occasions. She'd told them as soon as they could ask questions about him, or at least, the story she'd arranged about him. Daddy worked a long way away, and he couldn't come and visit them. It didn't mean he didn't love them all, it just meant that he couldn't be here to play with them and to talk to them. No, he wouldn't be coming to the school play next week. He'd love to have been there, but it wasn't possible. No, they couldn't call him, phones didn't work where he was. They couldn't visit him either; he lived a very long way away. 

"Further away than Nana and Grandad?" Janie had asked, aged five, her eyes like saucers in her head when Rose had nodded, yes, further even than Nana and Grandad who lived on the other side of town, a good twenty minute drive away.

Rose had hated telling lies, but there was no way she could tell them the truth. Anyway, lies had become the very fabric of their existence. She'd never gone into depth about her own background; she hadn't needed to. Even now, the twins didn't even question the idea that Rose had been born here, that Jackie and Pete were her parents, that Mickey was an old friend. There was no other explanation possible for anything; it was what it seemed. Normal.

The second time she'd talked about him, had been one awful time the night before their seventh birthday. Janie had padded downstairs long after Rose had kissed her goodnight, and demanded to know if her daddy would be at their party tomorrow. It had nearly killed Rose to tell her small and tired daughter that no, he wouldn't be there tomorrow. Janie had wailed and climbed onto her lap, sobbing that it wasn't fair and all her friends' daddies had made it to their parties, even Chloe's dad who never spoke to her mum. Rose had rocked her backwards and forwards, and agreed that it wasn't fair, but they couldn't help it. Daddy couldn't come, no matter how much he wanted to.

"And he does want to," she'd said softly, as Janie sniffed and snuffled miserably. "Your daddy would love to be there tomorrow, because you're going to look like a little princess."

Janie had suggested they could send him some photos and Rose had agreed, reluctantly, aware of yet another lie she was telling. But it had made the tears stop and a weak trembly smile appear on Janie's face. She couldn't know that Rose had put the spare set of photos away in a drawer in her old room at Pete and Jackie's house, along with the Father's day card Janie had made for him the following year.

The third time, had been much later, when they were twelve. Janie had been sitting opposite her at the table, doing some homework when she'd asked, completely out of the blue, how Rose and her dad had met.

"At work," Rose had said eventually.

"You worked together?"

"Not exactly. Sort of more, through work." Rose had felt very uncomfortable in the conversation and had managed to steer it away pretty swiftly, with, for once, no outburst from Janie.

The fourth time had been even briefer, and yet more heart-breaking than ever. Janie had been moaning about her hair for the thousandth time, aged fifteen, tossing it this way and that as she looked at her herself in the mirror.

"I'd look so much better blonde," she'd complained, pulling aggravated faces at herself and at her mother behind her.

"Maybe. But you know the rule."

"Not until I'm eighteen." Janie rolled her eyes. She twisted her hair into a long cord down the side of her face experimentally, so all the shades divided up. "Why do you like my hair so much?"

"It's lovely hair," Rose had insisted, loosening it from the tight hold Janie had on it. "You'll ruin it doing that."

"It's cause it reminds you of Dad, isn't it?" Janie had asked without any hesitancy. Rose her been taken aback. "Dad has hair this colour, doesn't he?" Eventually Rose had nodded, expecting more questions, but for once, Janie had left her alone.

She'd thought maybe the days of talking about him were over, but it seemed not. Something was happening, she was sure of it. Even thinking about it made her remember that time with him, years ago, another time, another place… she'd been young and full of life and energy, clinging onto his arm as though she'd never let go now she'd found him again. Moving down that street, as fireworks went off overhead, celebrating the Olympics, everyone happy again. It had all felt so right, so perfect, so utterly untouchable.

"_You know what, they keep trying to split us up, but they never ever will," she said, her arm looped through his, and resting her head on his shoulder._

"_Never say, never ever," he warned her, but she couldn't take him entirely seriously with the fairy cake in his hand. Not until the look passed across his face that made her stomach churn more than ever. Gazing up at the stars, a frown creasing his forehead, he said in a faraway voice, "Something's in the air."_

"_What?" She too looked._

"_Something's coming. A storm's approaching."_

It felt like that now. There was something almost tangible around her, something getting into her brain. They'd called him the Oncoming Storm. Well, they were right. Something was coming.


	10. Chapter 9

**Now only six chapters till the Doctor appears again... I know it seems a long time! Thanks for all your reviews so far, I've now nearly finished the first section, just about 5 more chapters left to go on that, and I've now planned out in rough the whole story! Wahey!**

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**Rose awoke from the dream again, stifling the urge to scream. It was the third successive night she'd had that dream, the one where he was dragging her away from Janie's cries, and each time it had been more detailed and more vivid. It was only seven o'clock and it was a Saturday, but she didn't want to fall back into that again. Anyway, it was the twins' birthday; she had a lot to do today. 

She headed downstairs and put the kettle on. Nice cup of tea to start the day. After having the twins, it had been the first thing she'd asked for, overjoyed to finally stop feeling sick every time she saw someone dunking a teabag in a cup. Today she'd use the real stuff though, it was a special occasion. It was silly really, but it was something she did every year on their birthday; she made tea the old-fashioned way, in a teapot, like he liked it.

While she waited for the tea leaves to infuse the water, she flicked the television in the kitchen on, as she went to collect the post off the doormat. The television was old, it took forever to warm up properly. When she returned, holding yet more cards for Jon and Janie, the picture had only just appeared. She didn't pay much attention until the sound kicked in.

"…say the cause is, as yet, unidentified, but have confirmed that this is the largest occurrence of its kind ever recorded. Richard Smith has the story." The anchorman handed over to a reporter… standing outside Torchwood.

"The news of the star collapsing was released early this morning, but early reports suggest that happenings like this have been becoming more frequent in the last few months. Government sources have confirmed the early speculation and I can now firmly state that the largest star in the solar system unexpectedly collapsed and became a black hole in the early hours of this morning."

Rose sat down at the table heavily, her eyes not leaving the screen. She tried to comprehend what she was being told. That the largest star in the solar system (she assumed that didn't include the sun or they were all in big trouble) had, overnight, died and become something threatening and dangerous. Things like that didn't happen, stars didn't just collapse like that. They went through processes, they had to become dwarfs or giants or something first. She wished she'd paid more attention in the astronomy section of her basic training. But even if she didn't know all the fancy words and all the minute processes, she knew one thing: a star could not just fall apart in one night without something, something alien, happening to it. Not that they'd ever admit that on the television, she thought. She watched for a few more minutes, as they wheeled out some old man to talk about the formation of black holes and how this was extraordinary and a milestone for star studying. Then, as they looped back to the beginning of the story, Rose turned the sound down and reached for the phone. It was half-seven; she knew of at least one person who would be up by now, on a day like today.

"Rose?"

"Dad, is it true?" Rose launched straight into it. "I've just switched on the television and they're talking about black holes and all sorts."

"Yeah, it's true." Pete sounded a bit strained, and Rose wished she could give her father a hug. "They called me as soon as they'd observed it happening."

"What time was that?"

"Three-thirty."

"Ick." Rose pulled a face. "Are you there now?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting to make a press statement, then I'll head back home. There's nothing more I can do, it's just a case of monitoring all the other levels, you know."

"Yeah. What are you going to say?"

"In the statement? This and that, reassure the public that there's no threat, that it's all under control, it's just one of those things, nothing to worry about. Hold on one second." She heard him saying something to one of his colleagues and looked back over at the television screen. They were showing archive footage of a black hole on the screen; it was the same footage they'd used in their basic training, still did use in fact. Rose had always thought it didn't do the black hole justice; you couldn't get an idea of the scale or strength of something like that until you saw it for yourself, up close. She was the only one to have done that. Sometimes she wondered if she was going mad when she thought about that.

"Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah. You know, the usual stuff to convince everyone that the world is a stable and secure place."

"When we all know it isn't," Rose replied bluntly. "Dad, you can't just lie to them all. This isn't the first time, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's been black hole activity for weeks, months even. This is more than just a random occurrence."

"Rose, don't worry, it's all under control-"

"I'm not worrying, Dad," Rose spoke firmly. "I'm not just some ignorant every-day person, you know, I know what I'm talking about. And this isn't nothing, is it?"

There was a long pause. "No, it's not. We've got half the building working overtime taking readings and preparing all sorts of things in case this is the big one. If I'm honest, love, this isn't looking great. But as far as the public are concerned, it's business as usual."

Rose spoke carefully. "If there was anything… anyone… coming through… do you think they're here already?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, if they're using the black hole to travel between worlds or anything…"

Pete's tone changed. "Rose, do you know something?"

"Me? No, don't be silly. I was just curious."

Another long pause. "If anyone is using it to come through," he said guardedly. "Then they won't be undetected for long. And when we catch up with them, we'll want answers." He let the thought sink in with her before he spoke again. "Anyway, I've got to go. I'll be round with your mum a bit later to see the twins. Tell them happy birthday from me if they've surfaced yet."

"Yeah sure." Rose hung up. She held the phone in her hands for a few seconds, her eyes focusing on the television screen. The date and time were in the bottom left hand corner. There was so much to do for the party this evening, so much to organize to make sure her babies had the best birthday ever. She should start things really. But she couldn't; not when all of this was happening. It was too much.

She dialed a number. It rang several times before it was answered.

"Hey?"

"Mickey, it's me."

"Is everything all right?"

"Have you seen the news this morning?"

"No… why?" Suspicion crept into his voice. Rose could hear him propping himself up properly in bed, the springs on the bed he'd had for far too long complaining. Sometimes she worried about him; his gran had died even in this reality years ago, and he had no one else. No one else except her and her family, and most of the time none of them were any use. And here she was, once again, interrupting his life.

"Just turn on the TV." Rose sat down and waited for him to obey her orders. "Channel one."

Mickey was silent for a few seconds. "Whoa. Is that true? Have you heard from work or something? Is that why you're calling, do they need me?" He almost sounded excited.

"No, I'm not at work," Rose replied. "I'm at home. I've spoken to Dad, though."

"Oh. Is he at work?"

"Yeah. I'm not calling about him though." Rose was becoming impatient. She wondered if she was losing the plot a bit; no one else was seeing what she was seeing, no one else was getting the significance of it all. The headaches, the key, the black holes… all culminating today in this massive star explosion. Today of all days.

Mickey spoke eventually. "Rose, we don't know it's him."

She was taken aback by his words. "But you think it too."

"I know what you're thinking, and that doesn't mean I agree."

"But today, Mickey, today of all days!"

"Yeah, but Rose… he doesn't know about them, does he? How could he have come back today of all days if he doesn't even know his children exist?"

Rose was speechless for a few seconds. Then she regained her voice. "Mickey, if it is him, I need to find him."

"And if it isn't? What if it's something dangerous, Rose, and you throw yourself right into the middle of it?"

"I don't care about that."

"What if it's something dangerous and you don't make it back?" She could practically hear him shaking his head. "Rose, you can't do this, especially not today. It's their birthday for God's sake, you can't just run out on them! They need one parent with them at least!"

"And what if I can bring them two?" Rose spoke softly. "Mickey, Jon was asking me about his dad the other day. _Jon_, not Janie. Jon never asks."

"And you think that's some sort of sign or something, do you?"

"It's a sign that my son wants to meet his dad," Rose said firmly. "And if I have any chance of helping him do that, I've got to. Don't you see that?"

There was a long pause and a sigh. Eventually, Mickey said, "I'll be round in fifteen minutes. I'm not going to let you go and do something daft like this on your own."


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Is there a reason we're here?"

Rose shrugged as she wandered round Henriks department store, looking at everything. She found it strange that she'd once worked here; it felt like another life, another person. She was a different Rose Tyler these days, with a new home, a father, two kids, a new job and a broken heart. She had to smile ironically at that; she remembered when she first began work at Henriks, she'd thought her heart would never heal because of that scum Jimmy Stone. Twenty years later and Rose really knew what heartache was.

"What are you smiling for?" Mickey turned to her. He was trying to be helpful but was really being annoying; Rose was feeling more and more like her old self again each second, and all she could keep thinking was _Mickey the Idiot_.

"No reason," she replied. She stopped. "This is stupid, he's not here."

"Well where else could he be?"

She shrugged.

"Rose!"

"Well, how am I supposed to know?" she demanded crossly. "I haven't seen him for nineteen years, we don't exactly have a meeting place in mind!"

Mickey glanced around at the few stares they were being given by Saturday morning shoppers. "Keep your voice down."

Rose rolled her eyes impetuously. "Oh, come on! There's nothing here." She pushed past several people on the escalators as they headed back outside, her blonde hair flying out behind her, and Mickey struggling to keep up. She glanced over her shoulder several times in irritation. She should have come on her own; he was just slowing her down. There was too much to do and too little time. She needed to find him wherever he was and deal with everything finding him would throw at her, and be back at home before the twins realized that their mum had abandoned them on their eighteenth birthday.

"So where now?" Mickey asked as he caught up with her, breathless and panting. "Any other bright ideas?"

"I'm not a child you know!" Rose snapped. "You don't need to be so patronizing!"

"I'm not! It's just…" Mickey sighed heavily. "Rose, this is crazy, it's never going to work. We've trawled half of London looking for him, we've been everywhere you can think of…" He shrugged. "So what are we going to do now?"

Rose leaned back against the wall of the building, hooking her thumbs in the belt loops on her jeans. She closed her eyes slowly and shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "I don't know what else we can do."

Mickey relented towards his old friend. "We haven't tried everywhere yet, there's plenty more places he could be. I mean, it might not even be London he manages… you always used to say he was a bit useless at flying the TARDIS. He could be anywhere… we'll just have to think a bit further afield, broaden our horizons a bit." He nodded. "He'll be here somewhere, Rose, I know it, and we'll find him, we just need-"

"Mickey, please. Thank you for coming with me today, for entertaining whatever stupid idea I had. Now it's time to go home. The kids will wonder where I am." She forced a smile onto her face, but it couldn't stick easily and wobbled around. "Come on." She slipped her arm through his companionably. "You're a good friend, Mick. Better than I deserve."

"Probably," Mickey agreed, smiling. He couldn't decide if it was a good thing that Rose was coming back to hand so meekly. The fight seemed gone out of her again, as she walked by his side. It was the Rose they'd all grown used to here, quiet, a worrier, helpless. Now he thought about it, they weren't very positive qualities. However difficult she'd been lately, at least she'd been awake and alive and living her own life, instead of relying on Jon and Janie to provide some structure for her day. Mickey wondered what would happen when those two left home; Rose, this Rose, would be lost without them. Maybe it was wrong to be trying to make her go home now, maybe they should keep looking. She needed something.

Rose felt she needed something too, but she was at a loss as to what. Walking down the street, passing dozens of people of all kinds, she wondered why it was that she couldn't let go of things that had happened twenty years ago. Of all the people here, she couldn't have been the only one to have loved and lost, and maybe that was better than never loving at all. At least, that's what all the old songs said. Twenty years was a long time to grieve, to mourn the loss of something that had barely even started. It hadn't been the greatest love affair; it hadn't even really been a love affair, just one night. But the love had been there. And yet, that must have been true for thousands of people in London today, Rose wondered what it was that made her unable to move on. She'd tried so many times to find someone new, to move on with her life, but it kept coming back to this, her heart breaking again as she realized he wasn't coming back. Maybe this time she'd listen to her head instead of her heart, and go and get on with what she should be doing: being a fantastic mother.


	12. Chapter 11

**Bit longer chapter and finally something happens... here's a cliffhanger for you!**

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**"Do you need any help, Mum?" Jon came over to where Rose and Jackie were unwrapping cling-filmed sandwiches. "There's enough to feed an army here!" 

"Just as well with you around!" Rose slapped his hand as he sampled a sandwich. "They're for the guests!"

"I'm having a preview! It is my birthday!" Jon rubbed at his hand.

"Go on, go away," Jackie swatted him with a tea-towel. "Go and do whatever it is that you lot do." As her grandson ambled away, she glanced over at Rose. "How's it going?"

"Yeah, nearly done." Rose nodded as she finished arranging sausage rolls on a plate. "Taadaa!"

"Lovely. But I wasn't actually talking about that." Jackie fixed her daughter with a firm stare. "How are you doing?"

Rose faked a smile, that she knew her mum would see straight through. "Fine!" Jackie raised her eyebrows and Rose let her eyes drop. "I'm fine, honestly, Mum. I just need to get through today."

Jackie rubbed her arm comfortingly. "Birthdays are hard, love, I know. But we won't say anything else about it if you don't want."

Rose looked up at her mum and hugged her impulsively. "Love you, Mum."

Jackie laughed. "I love you too. Now, get on with those sandwiches or we'll have a hoard of angry teenagers in here." She glanced out the window across the garden. "At least Janie seems to be having a good time. She's cheered up since this morning."

Janie had been in a foul temper first thing that morning when Rose got back from her early morning searching. She'd only just stumbled out of bed, her head thudding from her last night of illegal drinking, and she was padding round the house in tracksuit trousers and a black vest top. She was sitting in a chair when Rose went into the kitchen, her feet drawn up to her chest and her make-up from last night still smudged across her face. She'd shot her mum a filthy look as she came in. Rose had steeled herself for a fight.

"Happy birthday sweetheart." Rose handed her a card from where she'd hidden it in the breadbin. "You'll have to mind the crumbs."

Janie let the card drop onto the kitchen table. Mickey, sensing trouble, had retreated to the living room where Jon was watching the sports channel.

"Well aren't you going to open it?" Rose asked.

Janie shrugged.

Rose frowned. "Is everything all right?"

That did the trick. Janie's head shot up and she practically spat the words out at her mum.

"No it's not! Where the hell have you been, Mum? It's our birthday and you just disappear off somewhere and don't even leave a note!" She held the card up. "And then you just turn up and give me a poxy card?" She pushed past Rose to the door.

"Janie, I can explain…"

"No, you can't! You'll just tell me another lie, like you always do!"

Rose couldn't help looking confused; she had no idea what her daughter was on about now. "Janie, I'm not sure I understand…"

Janie glared at her. "When I went round to Gran's the other day, she told me to go and look in your old room, to see if there were any more photos of me and Jon when we were younger." Rose closed her eyes as she foresaw what was coming. "And I found a whole load of photos from our seventh birthday in the drawer there… the ones you said you'd sent to Dad."

Rose sighed. "Janie…"

Janie shook her head. "Don't bother. I don't want to hear anymore lies, Mum, that's all you've ever told us." She backed out of the kitchen and disappeared upstairs.

Even this evening, Janie was still avoiding Rose, barely even exchanging two civil words with her. Rose could see this would be an ongoing thing, and part of her didn't blame her daughter. She'd just found out that half of her childhood had been a lie. No, Rose corrected herself; most of her childhood had been a lie, she'd only found out about half of it so far. The whole thing only made her more sure that the past should stay exactly where it was, in the past, and that they should all forget about him and whether he was ever coming back, black holes or no black holes.

"Are these ready to go outside now?" Pete came into the kitchen and picked up two plates of sandwiches. He frowned at his daughter's sombre face. "Are you okay, Rose?"

Rose forced her face into a smile, and resolved to keep it there for the rest of the night. "I'm fine, Dad, just a bit tired. I'm surprised you're still wide awake after your early start this morning."

"Him? What about me?" Jackie demanded. "He's had an easy afternoon watching football with Jon and Mickey. I've slaved away over a hot stove all day."

Rose smiled. "I know, Mum. Thank you." She looked around at the almost empty kitchen. "I think that's it in here, isn't it?"

Jackie double-checked. "I think so. Right, now we can join the young ones." She took her apron off. "I don't look too old, do I love?"

Rose shook her head. "You look lovely as usual, Mum." Just as they were about to step outside the back door and into the garden, the doorbell rang. Jackie hesitated; it was her house, she should get it really.

"I'll go," Rose decided. "It's probably just some more of Janie and Jon's friends. Go outside and enjoy yourself, Mum."

Jackie frowned. "Okay, but you come straight out afterwards, no hiding in the house. This is your night as much as theirs; you've done an amazing job with them."

Rose was surprised at her mum's sudden praise. It wasn't as if Jackie had ever openly criticized her parenting methods, but Rose had always felt her mother breathing down her neck somewhat, just waiting for her to make a mistake. If Rose was honest, she'd been expecting it herself. Jackie had sung the twins' praises since time immemorial, but it was the first time Rose could remember her praising their mother.

"Thanks." She blinked back sudden tears, remembering her vow that she wouldn't cry today, not today of all days. "I better get the door, Mum."

She headed out into the hall, and couldn't help thinking about that party so many years ago that she'd attended here with the Doctor. But it didn't do to be sentimental, she thought, as she quickly glanced in the mirror, removing a mascara clump from her eyelashes and running her hands quickly through her hair. Maybe it was time she tried a less bold shade of blonde; it had looked all right back when she was Janie's age, but she was starting to think it made her look a bit washed out. Anyway, she was coming up to forty. It was probably time for a change.

"Not bad, though, for an old bag," she surmised as she finished preening in the mirror. Then she smiled and shook her head; talking to herself really was the last straw.

She headed towards the front door, just as she heard the CD player in the garden being turned up. Obviously Janie had shrugged herself out of her bad temper a bit more. It didn't mean that she'd forgotten her grudge against Rose, but at least she would have a nice birthday now. And that was the important thing.

Opening the door, the first thing that struck Rose was that the man on the doorstep looked far too old to be either Janie or Jon's friend. Unless Janie had been playing up more than usual lately; bringing an older man home would be just up her street, guaranteed to wind Rose up. It reminded Rose of Jackie's reaction when the Doctor had brought her home for the first time.

_Fuming, Jackie turned her attention away from her daughter, her supposedly missing daughter, and launched an attack on the man standing in her flat without a care in a world, acting as though it was perfectly normal to just disappear off for a year without informing anyone. "How old are you? Forty? Forty-five? Did you find her on the internet? You go online and pretend that you're a doctor?"_

_He looked offended and protested. "I _am_ a doctor!"_

_"Then stitch this mate!" Rose winced as the slap rang out across the flat._

Rose wasn't sure that she'd be quite up to her mum's standards in the slapping stakes. Maybe she'd need to go and find Jackie and pull her to the front door, tell her there was job she was needed for…

Then she looked properly. Really looked. And it hit her between the eyes, she felt so stupid it had taken her this long to realize. Because it was him.


	13. Chapter 12

**Update before New Year... ooooo! Btw I suppose I should really make a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter for the sections I shamelessly steal fom the show itself, but I'm just gonna do that the once. I don't apologise for using any of the writers' own words because they are all fab and my absolute idols.**

**Happy New Year everyone!**

**

* * *

**Rose found words rushing up into her mouth but getting stuck somewhere and she couldn't make a sound. 

The ex-Time Agent wasn't surprised to see her. His eyes traveled the full length of her, noting the changes that nearly twenty years had made in her. Rose shifted her weight self-consciously, remembering how he used to look at her, and suddenly, stupidly, wanting him to look at her like that again. She'd made some effort this evening, she'd even managed to put on some lipstick. _Come on, Jack._

But Jack wasn't biting. He didn't reply to her question immediately. He put his hand up to his ear and Rose noticed the ear-piece he had in the first time. It looked pretty high-tech, some would say almost… alien.

"I've found her." He let his arm drop and looked her properly in the face. He reached out towards her, but Rose stepped away, just dodging his hand. He frowned, the sense of rejection written all over his face.

"Is…?" Rose found her mouth dry and struggled to get her words out. "Jack, aren't you…" She forced it out finally. "I thought you were dead."

Jack at least had the good grace to blush slightly, she thought, after having put her through so much pain so long ago. "I always was a bit of a drama queen," he admitted.

In an attempt to overcome his sudden awkwardness he put on his old jaunty grin and said, "Did you miss me, doll?"

It didn't take anything more. Rose flung her arms around his neck, and he was ready to catch her. It was strange; twenty years had disappeared in a second for her, and she was back remembering the last time she'd been this close to him.

_"Rose, you are worth fighting for." He held her face gently while he kissed her, surprising Rose with the passion behind it. Slightly dazed, she watched him turn towards the Doctor. "Wish I'd never met you, Doctor, I was much better off as a coward." Then he kissed him too, and Rose couldn't help feeling the slightest bit jealous, but of who she wasn't sure._

_Stepping back from the both of them, he brandished his gun. "See ya in hell," he said, before disappearing off into the heart of the Gamestation._

"Hey," Jack said, unusually gently for him, stroking her hair. "I didn't exactly expect that."

"Sorry." Rose lifted her head off his shoulder, sniffing self-consciously and wiping at the mascara stains on his crisp white shirt. "I just…" She took a deep breath to try and control the threatening sobs building up in her throat. She didn't really know what to say, how to explain all the emotions rushing through her at this moment.

"Doesn't matter." He shook his head, and Rose remembered how he'd always made her feel better just by being around; when the Doctor was being moody and angsty, she used to find solace in his company. He always knew what to say. "I always enjoy beautiful women throwing themselves at me."

Rose blushed and stepped away, aware of how silly she seemed. Typical of her though; she'd fallen into his arms without hesitation and he hadn't even explained what he was doing here or how he was here or anything…

Jack finally spoke, like he was coming out of a bit of trance himself. "Anyway, that's enough about me. Is he around?"

Rose blinked, a frown coming across her face. "He?"

Jack had already invited himself in, looking around as though he was expecting whoever he was looking for to be hiding underneath the hatstand or behind a door like in some third-rate spoof horror movie. He certainly was one for being dramatic, Rose had to agree, as the long military style coat he was wearing, even in this heat, flared out behind him.

"Jack?" Rose was surprised at how quickly she'd slipped back into nagging him. "Jack, who are you looking for?"

He turned round. "Who do you think?"

"I don't know, how should I know?" Rose shrugged exasperatedly.

Jack frowned. "You mean he hasn't come here?"

"Who hasn't come here?"

"I could have sworn…I was sure he'd come straight to you and find you. You're all he's talked about." A worried look passed over Jack's face. "You're not kidding are you? You really don't know."

"Know what?"

Jack didn't answer her but lifted his arm and spoke into the earpiece again. "Gwen, Owen. We've lost him."

The watch on his arm crackled into life. A woman's voice, Welsh, came out of it. "Lost who?"

"Who'd you think?"

"I knew we should have kept a closer watch on him." A man's voice this time. "I said we couldn't trust him."

"Quiet!" Jack ordered. "He's on the level, all right? We just need to find him. Get on to Toshiko, see if she can run a trace, find out where he was headed. Then get yourselves here as soon as possible." He turned back to Rose, a lost expression on his face. "I was sure he'd be with you."

Rose felt her bottom lip tremble, and bit it like she used to when she knew Jack before. "What's happening?" she asked, feeling suddenly years younger than she was, and utterly bewildered. "Jack, what is going on?"

Jack let a long breath out. "I'm not really sure where to begin," he admitted.

"Try the beginning."

"It depends what you count as the beginning."

"Where it all started!" Rose remembered the Doctor's irritation with Jack all those years ago, and knew now how he'd felt.

Jack looked between them again. "Okay. But can we go somewhere more comfortable first? This might take a while."

* * *

"I guess I did die up there." Jack shrugged. "It's all a bit hazy, but then again, I guess it would be, if I was dead and all." 

Rose's eyes flickered across to him. "You shouldn't joke about things like that."

"No, I know, sorry." He tried to regain his solemn tone. "Anyway, that's pretty irrelevant, most of it is. I'm starting all wrong." He shook his head. "He should be here, he'd explain it all better."

Rose hazarded a guess at who he was talking about. It wasn't like she didn't know, but she needed to hear it said out loud. "You mean the Doctor?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah." He looked up as he heard Rose gasp and sit back heavily on the sofa. Without even thinking, he found himself sitting next to her, an arm around the back of the sofa

"I'm fine, it's okay." Rose took some deep calming breaths. "I knew it, I knew he was back." She shook her head. "But I don't understand, Jack, you and him and… you're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be somewhere else… back there. This shouldn't even be possible!"

"And normally I'd be the first one to agree," Jack nodded. "But here I am. Here we all are."

Rose stood up abruptly as Jack's arm moved onto her shoulders.

"What?" Jack asked, frowning.

Rose felt stupid to be asking, but she'd seen too much to be taken in so easily. "How do I even know you are Jack?"

"What?"

"You could be anyone, you could just be…" Rose shrugged.

"Rose, this is ridiculous…"

"I've just invited you into the house, you could be anyone, you could be something alien or anything."

Jack sighed heavily. "I'll prove who I am if you want. Ask me a question."

"What?" It was Rose's turn to look confused. She didn't want to be proved wrong; she wanted this to be Jack, she needed this all to be true. But Jack wouldn't let it go now, his temper was up in a way she'd never seen it before. There was something different about this Jack; he'd barely even tried to flirt with her so far.

"Ask me a question, something only I'd know." He fixed her with a challenging stare. "Anything you like."

Rose was at a loss, unsure what to say. Everything she'd ever known about Jack disappeared out the window. "Erm, where did we meet?"

"London, 1941, the Blitz, haven't you got anything harder?"

Rose would have liked to have given up, to have accepted it now, but he wasn't having any of it. "What's my surname?"

"Rose, come on!" Jack rolled his eyes. "At least _try_!"

But Rose had nothing else to say, she couldn't think of anything. Jack finally took pity on her as tears glistened in her eyes and she began to tremble.

He stood up and took her hands in his gently, looking down on her with those deep blue eyes. "What about our song, Rose? Do you remember that?"

Rose gazed up at him. "'Course I do," she said quietly. "How could I forget?"

"Glen Miller, Moonlight Serenade…" Jack smiled, forcing Rose to smile back. "On top of an invisible spaceship during an air raid… best date I ever had."

Rose pulled him in to hug him. "I'm sorry," she sobbed into his shoulder, this time not caring about the mascara stains or how she'd look afterwards. "I'm so sorry, Jack, I just needed to…"

"Yeah, sure," Jack whispered into her hair. "It's okay."

The door opened and Rose instinctively jumped away from Jack, guilt passing over her face. Jackie looked between the two of them.

"Rose?" She eyed the stranger suspiciously, but focused on her tearful daughter. "Rose, what's happened?"

Rose sniffed and wiped her face hastily. "Mum, it's the Doctor. He's back."


	14. Chapter 13

Jackie stared at Jack in disbelief for several seconds. Then she spoke.

"That's the Doctor?"

"No!" Rose laughed, to even her own surprise. "No, Mum, this is Jack, he's… an old friend."

"Captain Jack Harkness." Jack smiled at Jackie, and shook her hand. He hadn't lost any of his charm when he needed it, Rose observed. "You must be Rose's mum, I would never have believed it."

Jackie, to Rose's embarrassment, blushed. "Oh, hello." Then she turned back to the problem at hand. "Rose, what do you mean, he's back?"

"He is, Mum, he's back." Rose nodded.

Jackie frowned. "Rose, are you sure? I mean, have you actually seen him or anything?"

"I have," Jack spoke up, and Rose had never felt more like kissing him. Jackie's head whipped round to look at him in disbelief. "No, I really have. And he's back here. Or at least, he should be." Jack frowned. "I'm going to get on to my colleagues, see if they can shed any light on all this." He headed out of the room. Rose had never expected Jack to use the word "colleagues"; it was like the Doctor using the word "impossible" and meaning it. She wanted to follow him, ask who these colleagues were and demand that he at least start his explanations properly, even if he didn't manage to finish them. She'd forgotten how Jack could so often blind you with his charms and completely turn the conversation away from himself. Just like the Doctor…

But Jackie wasn't going to let her daughter escape in the same way without any explanations. Rose expected a multitude of questions, and lifted her eyes guiltily to meet her mum's. But there wasn't any question in her eyes. Only… Rose couldn't help thinking it was pity and some disgust. It shocked her to see that expression turned upon herself.

Jackie gazed at her daughter. "Rose, what is going on?"

"Mum, I don't know exactly, Jack's just finding out, then I'm sure he'll explain everything-"

"I didn't mean that!" Jackie glanced over her shoulder and shut the door behind her, closing out the sounds of Jack pacing up and down and hurling abuse at some unfortunate person. She turned back to Rose. "I mean, why are you even discussing this with him, today of all days?" When Rose didn't reply immediately, a baffled expression passing over her face, Jackie resisted the urge to shake her. "Rose, it's your son and daughter's eighteenth birthday. They're having a party in the back garden now. And you're in here, reminiscing over old times with some bloke you've never even mentioned before now!"

Rose was torn between anger and knowing her mum was right. It was Janie and Jon's day, she should be out there, celebrating with them. And instead she was locked away somewhere, quizzing a long lost friend. If Jack could even be counted as a friend…she'd worked with people for longer and never considered them as anything more than acquaintances that she never gave a second thought to once they parted company. And yet… Jack…

She tried to control her temper. "Mum, I know it seems awful, but don't you understand, Jack knows stuff about the Doctor, and-" Jackie rolled her eyes. Rose felt her temper flare up. "What was that for?"

"It's always about the Doctor, isn't it?" Jackie asked, her voice, for once, much quieter than her daughter's. "Don't think Mickey hasn't told your father and me what you've been doing for the past few weeks."

Rose snorted, feeling very like the teenager she was suddenly becoming. "Yeah, well, trust him."

"He's worried about you, Rose, we all are." Jackie sighed heavily. "Don't do this today, tell this Jack whatever his name is-"

"Harkness. Captain Jack." Rose jutted her jaw out stubbornly.

"Tell him that you can't do all this now, he can come back another day and you can talk it over properly." Jackie looked her at pleadingly. "Rose, the kids want you to come outside. They've been waiting ages."

Rose gritted her teeth. "And I've been waiting longer for this," she said, feeling every bit selfish and an awful mother, but knowing she had to do this. "Mum, I've been waiting to hear of the Doctor ever since he left me, and I'm not going to wait any longer. He's missing, he could be in trouble, and I can't just ignore that. The twins will understand."

Jackie stared at her in silence for a few seconds and then shook her head slowly, before turning round without another word and leaving the room. Rose took some deep breaths. She had to do this, she had no choice. This was the only thing she could possibly do, for herself, for the Doctor and for Jon and Janie. It was all she'd ever wanted to do; find him and bring him home, so they could be a real family. If Jon and Janie couldn't understand that, it wouldn't be her fault. This was the first and possibly only chance she'd ever have; she couldn't help feeling a sense of growing fear that if she didn't act now, today, this minute, then it would all just slip away like a bad dream, never to be touched upon again. This had to be done today.

Jack opened the door again. There was a sense of urgency about him, of the old action-packed Jack ready to pick up a gun at any second and take out anyone who stood in their way. A poor man's Action Man, as the Doctor used to put it so dryly. Remembering that, Rose felt the same urgency rush through her, a need to be doing something, anything, so long as it meant they were getting one stage closer to finding him again.

"Right, I've spoken to Toshiko and she says-"

"Who?" Even now, Rose couldn't resist interrupting, but she was silenced by an irritated look from Jack.

"I'll explain it later, she says she's run a trace on his path of flight and she thinks he's landed a bit off, to the west of London, and he took a bit of an erratic course. He could be in some trouble." He flicked a few buttons on the watch on his arm. "We're getting picked up any second now." He glanced up at her. "You might want to think about grabbing a jacket and maybe changing your shoes. It could get cold out there tonight."

Rose had kicked her impractical court shoes off before he finished his sentence and already had on a pair of Janie's trainers, discarded some weeks ago after returning from a shopping trip with her gran in favour of a new pair she'd bought. It had always horrified Rose how her daughter treated Pete and Jackie's house like an extension of her own; now she was just glad her daughter had the same size feet as her. She'd grabbed Jon's hooded sweatshirt off the sofa from where he'd abandoned it earlier as Jack led the way out to the front door.

In the hallway, Rose hesitated, hearing the sounds from the garden. There was a squeal of delight and she knew it was Janie, she knew that squeal like it was her own. And it tugged at her heart, reminding her that she shouldn't be going off on some stupid adventure with an old friend like she was nineteen again without a care in the world. She should be being the Rose Tyler of this world, and it made her hesitate.

Jack couldn't have known what was rushing through her mind, she had to remember that, as he glanced back from where he was heading out the door. "Rose!" She jerked back into reality. Or non-reality, whatever you wanted to call it. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong."

"Am I disturbing something?" He nodded towards the garden. "You're having a party, anything special?"

Rose hesitated. "Yeah," she said, her voice very soft and distant. "Yeah, very special." She shook her head. "But it's okay, we can go, no one will miss me here." She nodded firmly. "And you can explain on the way what on earth is going on."


	15. Chapter 14

"You're Torchwood?" Rose looked round at the three people in the dark four by four. "You three are Torchwood?"

"Torchwood three." The man she'd been introduced to as Owen nodded. "And there's four of us really, five if you count Ianto, which… I don't know, do we count Ianto?" He glanced in the rear view mirror at Jack for confirmation, but didn't wait for it, which was just as well because he was gazing out the window. "Anyway, yes, we're Torchwood."

Rose couldn't resist a sardonic chuckle. Owen's eyes were immediately back on her again in the mirror.

"Is there something funny about that?"

"No." Rose shook her head. "Just ironic. Torchwood forced me and the Doctor apart in the first place. And now you're bringing us back together."

"A different Torchwood." Jack spoke up finally and looked over at her, with a quick fleeting smile. "We're different, Rose."

Rose nodded. "So what exactly do you do?"

"We collect alien technology," Jack explained. "And use it to defend Earth. The twenty-first century's where it all changes and-"

"You've got to be ready." The woman in the passenger seat. Gwen, finished the sentence for him, much to Jack's disgust. "I think we all get the message by now, Jack."

Rose could foresee a major sulk about to happen. "I work for Torchwood too," she said unexpectedly, and all their eyebrows shot up. "Nothing special, just a surveillance unit. We don't use alien technology like you do. At least, I don't think we do."

"So you knew something was up?" Jack asked her.

Rose shook her head. "Not exactly. I guessed something was coming, all the readings have been going crazy lately. I hoped. But I didn't know." She gave him a pointed look. "I still don't."

Jack sighed. "No, okay, I get the hint. But I'm not quite sure where to start."

"The beginning. And don't go off on one about that Gamestation stuff again, I mean the beginning of this, how you got _here_." Rose didn't want to talk about the Gamestation again. She felt so guilty for having left him there, all alone, to who knew what fate. Now she thought about, she hadn't even considered Jack when they'd left, not until ages after, when she was feeling lonely because "her" Doctor had gone. Another mess the two of them had made.

Jack stared out the window again for a long time before speaking. "Okay. A few months ago, we started getting really weird readings, all sorts of things started happening. Gwen, can you remember anything specific?"

"Well, there was all that weather activity," Gwen began listing them. "But then that stopped suddenly. And there was a spate of killings, mysterious ones, nasty… what did you say they were again, Jack?"

"Slitheen." Jack noted Rose's recognition. "Oh yeah, they were back."

"But I thought Margaret was the last one. And we turned her…"

"Into an egg, I know. Believe me, you weren't half as shocked as me. What else was there?"

"There was the fairies again, but that's probably nothing much." Owen shrugged it off as though fairies were an everyday concern. Maybe they were for them, Rose conceded, though she'd somehow never been able to believe in them.

"But then that all stopped," Gwen reminded him. "Just… stopped. You always forget about that one."

"The Gelth!" Owen responded excitedly, ignoring his companion's pointed remark. "The Gelth were lingering around, I think that's what they were called…"

"Yeah." Rose nodded solemnly.

"You know them?" Gwen turned to look at her.

"Sort of." Rose shrugged. "But I thought they'd gone, all of these things… I thought we'd solved them…" She glanced over at Jack. "Any Dalek activity?"

"You know about the Daleks?" Owen's foot slipped on the accelerator in his shock and Gwen let out a yelp. "It's alright," he rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. But she knows about the Daleks!"

Rose set her mouth in a determined line. She knew the Daleks all right… Those three encounters with them had been some of the defining moments of her life. She wondered if even Jack knew how tied up with them she was; how she'd revived one and then divided them all. All except those four. The Cult of Skaro. There was something about those Daleks, something that made them keep bouncing back. She'd call it eternal optimism, except she doubted optimism was high up on a Dalek's emotional radar, if they even had one.

"No, no Daleks yet." Jack ignored his colleague and answered Rose's question. "But I wouldn't put it past them."

Rose had to agree with that. "So after all these weird things… how did he get involved?"

Jack smiled, the first real smile she'd seen. "Well, you know the Doctor… can't resist following trouble, can he? He headed down to Cardiff when he heard about all the strange weather. We picked up an incoming flight and were there to meet him." He shrugged. "And the rest, as they say, is history."

"Apart from how you came through," Rose pointed out. "And why."

"She's good," Owen remarked. "Got to admit, she's good."

Jack sighed. "Okay, we used the Rift to come through. Well, at least _we_ did, it's been splitting further and further recently. All it took was a bit of ingenuity, alien ingenuity, and we were through. The Doctor preferred the complicated method."

"As ever." Rose rolled her eyes. "And that's how you became separated?"

"Yeah." Jack nodded. "But we've found him, not to worry."

Rose met his eyes half-nervously. "But all this stuff that's going on… it's spreading?"

Jack hesitated before nodding slowly. "Yeah. It's spreading." Then he turned away. "Owen, we're nearly there, take a left."

Rose stared out the window. It was so close now, she was within minutes of seeing him again, touching him again, hearing him say her name again. It was strange; she'd wanted it for so long, but now it was here… she felt scared and almost reluctant to leave this car. As long as she stayed here, she was holding on to some sanity, some of the life she'd built for herself since being left in this world. But as soon as she stepped outside and saw him again… that would be it, over. Thoughts of Janie and Jon filled her head and she tried to push them away. Now wasn't the time for that.

Owen pulled over on a rough patch of ground, the wheels making hideous noises against the gravelling soil. He switched the engine off and jumped out. They all followed suit, scanning around in the late twilight, for anything that might resemble…

"There it is." Gwen pointed and Rose followed her finger. And there it was. The TARDIS. The same old TARDIS, the blue police box she'd lived in for… oh it felt so long, like an entire lifetime. Home.

Jack took a few steps forward towards it, but Rose suddenly grabbed his arm. He looked at her. "What?"

"Jack… has he… changed?"

Jack hesitated before nodding slowly. Rose felt her stomach dip. It had been a possibility, a very real possibility. It had been twenty years here, who knew how many back in the real world (it was only now she realized she'd been calling it that all along)? And it hadn't taken him long to burn his last life up. It had been almost probable.

"What does he look like?"

"Sort of… taller… thinner…" Jack listed a few qualities. "More lively, definitely a talker, can't shut him up half of the time. More hair too… I'd say it's an improvement apart from that awful suit he insists on wearing… pinstripes are not a good look…" He tailed off as he saw Rose stifle a giggle. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Rose shook her head, smiling. "It's just… he hasn't changed then. Not since I last saw him."

Jack's eyes widened. "You mean… he's been like that since... You lucky lucky girl!"

Rose laughed. "Well yeah, apart from the talkative thing."

"I don't know. There's always ways of making him shut up. Or so I've heard." Jack grinned back at her. "So. You ready to see him?"

Rose ran a hand through her hair, and pulled at the sleeves on the sweatshirt which dwarfed her. "It isn't exactly how I'd imagined it," she admitted.

"You look great. He'll love you whatever you're wearing." He lowered his voice. "He's really missed you, Rose. And he's not the only one."

Rose reached out and took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "We'll have to catch up, after all this drama's finished," she said, smiling. "It's been a long time."

"Too long." Jack nodded. He touched the side of her face gently. "I couldn't believe it when he told me what happened to you… I…"

Rose nodded. "It's okay. It's not been too bad." It wasn't a complete lie. Her life was so different now, there wasn't much chance for comparison between the two. Jon and Janie had kept her sane in so many ways. She hoped they'd forgive her for doing this tonight.

Jack smiled. "Come on. He'll be dying to see you."

"If he's managed to stay put," Rose remarked wryly.

Jack laughed. "True." He put an arm around her and propelled her forwards. "Just in case he has wandered off, take this." He reached into the pocket of his coat and produced a key. A small insignificant normal key. Rose took it and looked at it. Then she looked up at him.

"You kept it?"

"'Course I did." Jack sighed heavily. "I kept hoping it might come in useful one day. What about you?"

Rose thought about the key lying underneath the rug in her room. "Yeah. I kept it." She looked up at him again. "Jack, would you mind if… if I went in on my own? Just for a minute, just so I can…" She didn't know what she'd do. She'd planned it for so long, imagining the day he'd come back, and in no way did it resemble this one.

"Of course. Take as long as you need."

Rose stepped forwards towards the TARDIS, and knew that those steps were carrying her further and further from the life she'd been living for twenty years. She remembered the first time she'd left home with him, all those years ago, and how she'd run with barely a second thought onto the timeship, her hair flying out behind her, leaving Mickey to pick the pieces up. It had been so carefree, so irresponsible. She wanted that back.

She slid the key into the lock and turned it. The door creaked open. She glanced over her shoulder at Jack, standing watching her. And walked in the door.


	16. Chapter 15

**The chapter you've all been waiting for... Doctor and Rose reunited at last!**

**

* * *

**It was the same. The exact same as when she'd left, like nothing had changed, like no days had gone by. Like she'd just stepped outside for something to eat or to fetch something from home. It felt like she'd never been away. 

She walked up the ramp into the control room, gazing around at all the familiar sights. She momentarily wondered where he was. Then she realized. And she looked down.

The grating was up on one section and without seeing him, Rose could guess what he'd be doing. He'd be lying on his back down there, oil on his forehead, his glasses on, sonic screwdriver between his teeth and a wrench in his hand as though he knew what to do with it. His tie would be at a right angle and his hair would be disgustingly scruffy. She took a few steps towards it, until she could look down and see that all her suspicions had been correct.

"Hi Doctor."

He jumped, almost as though he'd been half in a daze, and she heard the wrench in his hand hit the floor with a loud clanging noise. Then he looked up properly and saw her. His eyes widened and he began to sit up, pulling his glasses up to sit on top of his head and removing the sonic screwdriver from his mouth. He pulled himself out of the hole and scrambled to his feet. Only when he was standing facing her did he speak.

"Rose." He looked her up and down, much as Jack had done, but, Rose liked to think, with a bit more sympathy for the changes in her. They stood, either side of the open grating for a few more seconds, staring at each other. He scratched the back of his ear. "How have you been?"

Rose was unsure if he was joking or not. "Not bad," she said, shrugging. "You?"

"The same." He nodded. Then, "Oh come here!" He was across the grating in a second, and she found herself being held tightly, so she almost couldn't breathe, as he buried his head in her hair. She didn't care. She wrapped her arms around him, wondering how she'd ever lasted so long without this. Now he was here, this close, she didn't want to face the fact he'd have to let go sooner or later.

"I've missed you."

"I've been here all the time," Rose teased softly, as she reminded herself what he smelt like. There'd always been a strange mothball smell and an undercurrent of mint humbugs… she was never sure if that was him or the jacket though. But she knew that smell so well.

"I know." He lifted his head up so he could look at her, but didn't loosen his hold around her. She was grateful for that; she needed him to prop her up suddenly as she looked into this chocolate eyes that reminded her so much of her children. "How long has it been?"

"Just over eighteen years."

"Eighteen years…!" His voice was hushed and he looked up at the ceiling. "Rose, I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Rose reached up and began playing with his tie. "You couldn't help it."

"But eighteen years…" He shook his head. "How's it been?"

She smiled. "Some ups. Some downs. You know." He looked so sad suddenly that she couldn't help laughing. "It's not been as bad as you all think it has. It's just been a bit… hard." When he still didn't say anything she added, "But it's about to get a lot harder, isn't it?"

"Has Jack filled you in?"

"Hardly." Rose snorted. "You know Jack."

"Been flirting with you, has he?"

"A bit. Mainly with my mum, though."

"Your mother! How is she?"

"She's good. And so are Dad and Mickey."

"And the baby?"

Rose had forgotten she'd told him. Or half-told him. Standing on that beach all that time ago, the wind whistling into her ears, she'd told the first of so many lies that had come to typify her existence in this universe.

_"There's five of us now – Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby."_

_"You're not…?"_

_"Nah, it's Mum. She's three months gone. More Tylers on the way."_

She smiled. "Hardly a baby anymore. Or babies should I say."

"How many are there?" He looked a bit scared.

"Just the two. Twins." Rose couldn't help her smile growing wider as she thought about them. "Jon and Janie. They're eighteen now." They'd been eighteen for nearly twenty minutes; she'd checked the clock on the car's dashboard before she got out. She expected Janie would be fairly out of by now. She hoped she was being looked after and not allowed to get too sick.

The Doctor smiled. "So you got that family after all?"

Rose nodded. "Looks like it." She hesitated. "How long has it been with you?"

"Oh you know. Time's a bit of a funny thing when you're on here." He looked around. "But back on earth, a few years, not as many as here. It's all become a bit of a modern legend now, the Battle of Canary Wharf they call it. They've even stopped asking for a public enquiry over what went wrong."

"Must be quite a few years then," Rose remarked. She stepped out of his arms and walked round the time vortex. "You haven't changed much in here?"

"No." His hands went into his pockets as he watched her familiarize herself with it all again. "I quite liked it, she's been running pretty well up until now."

"Jack said you went missing, what happened?"

"Same old thing." He patted the control panel fondly. "Different universe, sent the old girl into a few hysterics. We've sorted it out though, she's all up and running again now, aren't you?"

Rose stifled a giggle. "You don't still do that, do you?"

"Do what?"

"Talk to the TARDIS like she can understand you."

"She can! Can't you old girl? Anyway, who else was I supposed to talk to for the last few years?"

Rose looked round. "Hasn't there been anyone else? Another… Sarah-Jane… or… me?"

He shook his head firmly, almost immediately. "No one. Well, no one special." Rose raised her eyebrows. "It's not like that, Rose, there were a few but they never lasted. There was never anyone else like you."

Rose smiled. "Glad to hear it."

The Doctor met her eyes, and Rose could have sworn she saw a slightly blush rise on his cheeks. "How about you? Was there ever anyone…?"

"No. No one like you."

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug again. "I've missed this."

"Me too." She said, her voice muffled against his jacket. "But Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on? Why are you here?"

He sighed into her shoulder, and she felt the great load he carried around on his shoulders slump onto her momentarily. "We need Jack for this. Then I'll explain."


	17. Chapter 16

**Right, initially I was going to just say this story was set post-Doomsday (obviously) as regards Doctor Who and any time for Torchwood, but after last week's amazing finale (!!!) I'm going to say it's set post "End of Days" as well... just because it fits in. But this is baring in mind that I've just finished writing chapter 35 so I need to go back and edit bits so if its not immediately clear, please give me the benefit of the doubt lol!**

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**Jack was smoking a cigarette. It was strange, he hadn't done that for years, not since he'd found himself in 1940s London, but it somehow felt right now that the three of them were back together. Like it was all starting again. Still, it wasn't exactly good for him. He stubbed the one he was smoking out, and like a knee-jerk reaction, lit another one barely seconds after. 

"You don't smoke." Gwen eyed him curiously. She was leaning against the car, beside Owen. "You've never smoked before."

"Yeah well. It's not like it'll kill me or anything," he remarked dryly, but stubbed the barely-touched cigarette out and left the half-empty packet in his pocket for the time being. "There? Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

"So what do we do now?" Owen asked, shoving his hands into the pockets on his jacket. "Sit around out here and wait for them to finish whatever they're up to and get going? Or actually _do_ something for the first time since we got to this place?"

Jack gave him a withering look. "We don't even know what we're up against yet. We can't just go jumping into it."

"Funny. That's what we usually do." Owen breathed out, his breath making delicate patterns in the suddenly cool evening air. "We should at least call back to Tosh and see how she is. She could have found out all sorts by now."

"We wait for the Doctor," Jack replied slowly and firmly.

Gwen shook her fringe out of her eyes. "You've never explained how you know those two, you know. Or why she's here. Who is she anyway?"

"Rose Tyler."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "So you keep saying. What were you two talking about before?" She'd never admit it in a million years, not to Jack, not to anyone, but she was jealous. Jealous that Jack was suddenly looking at someone else the way she sometimes caught him looking at her. He'd been searching for her for days, ever since they'd crossed the Rift into this universe. He'd been even moodier and more withdrawn than usual in that time. Until they found her, when he suddenly seemed keen to be left alone with her, having whispered conversations about their shared history of which they knew nothing. It annoyed Gwen to her very core. Or at least, that she was annoyed about, annoyed her.

Jack shrugged. "Nothing much."

"Seemed like a very heartfelt nothing much."

Jack glared at her suddenly. "Gwen, just leave it okay, I don't have time for this right now." He turned away and slouched off, an aura of anger surrounding him.

"You need to stop winding him up like that," Owen remarked, as they both watched him go.

"I don't wind him up!"

"You do something to him. What difference does it make what he was saying to her? You should be asking him why he was saying anything to her instead of being the action hero he so loves to be." Owen shook his head. "This is stupid, we should be out there, doing something, not sitting here waiting for some Time Lord, who, by the way, aren't even supposed to exist anymore, to get his rocks off and then decide to maybe save the world if he has time."

Gwen looked at him. "So what do you suggest we do? Disobey Jack?" She raised her eyebrows challengingly.

Owen looked away, his hard-man attitude disappearing in a second. He scuffed the ground with his trainers and inspected his nails in an attempt at nonchalance. "No, I didn't say that. I was just saying-"

"Yeah, well, don't." Gwen knew Owen would never disobey Jack again, not after that horrific experience back in Cardiff. It was still so raw in all their hearts, even Owen hadn't bounced back from it yet. They had to trust Jack knew what he was doing. And no matter what it seemed at the moment, Gwen believed he did. Something told her that she needed to hang onto that belief for dear life. Things were about to get weird. With a sudden terror she'd never felt before, she remembered what Jack had told her when they'd met.

"_The twenty-first century's when it all changes, and you've got to be ready."_

Things were changing all right. Only she wasn't sure they were ready enough this time.

Jack's voice broke into her thoughts.

"Are you coming in or not?" She looked up to see that Owen had already moved from her side and that Jack was hanging out the door of the police box. With that heartbreaking grin stretched across his face, that he had to know would melt her firm resolve every time. It infuriated her; Jack was so distant and aloof and downright arrogant at times, and yet she was drawn to him time after time, forgetting her boyfriend Rhys for long moments. How did he do it? How did he know exactly what buttons to push and when? Gwen half-hoped she could have a quiet half-hour with this Rose woman. Maybe she could shed some light on the infamous Harkness charm.

Jack fixed her with teasing puppy-dog eyes. "Aww, you're not sulking are you, Gwen?"

"Of course not!" Gwen glared at him, as she walked over. She eyed the blue box with some trepidation though; she'd never been on board a timeship before.

Jack saw her hesitation and he offered her his hand. "Come on. It's not so bad, I promise."

Gwen rejected the hand and pushed past him roughly. She'd be damned if she'd be taken in by his smooth talking.


	18. Chapter 17

**Right, a few things before I give you another Doctor-centric chapter...**

**First of all, thank you all for making this story not only the most reviewed story I've ever written, but also the most read! 9000 hits+, I am so thrilled that everyone is so interested still. Thank you to all the loyal readers who review almost every chapter... I'm now going to stop before I started sounding like Gwyneth Paltrow accepting an award.**

**Second, I really do apologise about the Torchwoodness to those people who either haven't seen it or don't like it. I don't think there's anything that key to it all in my story as regards the actual alien activity in it (and Mikkifavo has asked me not to say too much!), so I'm not going to explain that really. All you need to know at this point is that in the show, Captain Jack heads up a team at Torchwood 3 which is based in Cardiff. Halfway through series one, Gwen Cooper and Owen Harper started having an affair, despite the fact that Gwen already has a boyfriend, Rhys. I won't spoil the finale for everybody who cares, so I'll just say this is set post-series one. If you want to see what the characters look like or anything I recommend though that address doesn't always load up properly in my browser.**

**If you like, just try and think of the characters you don't know as original characters, even though they really aren't and I'm not trying to claim I created them! I'll try and drop more character descriptions in to help you along a bit.**

**Right... I think that's done!**

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**The Doctor looked round at his TARDIS, suddenly so alive with people after being empty for so long. Yes, there'd been others since Rose, it had been impossible for him to keep his word over that. She seemed to understand; time sometimes went so slowly when you lived outside of it, and he'd grown too used to having someone there all the time. It had taken him some time to realize that it wasn't _someone_ he wanted though, it wasn't anybody he could pick up off the street. It was her. And he couldn't find a replacement for her in his life, it was too much to ask of anybody. They'd tried without even realizing they were trying, competing against some spectre he wouldn't even acknowledge. Martha had been the exact opposite of Rose in everyway, something he thought he'd wanted. He needed a fresh start, a new beginning. Only the difference had been too great. She'd tried, they'd had some good times. But he could never be himself with her, and she'd left one day, unexpectedly and yet not surprisingly. He'd thought they'd have had a few more weeks than that. Then there'd been Abby, but she'd barely lasted a month. She'd been fiery and tempestuous, treating him as an equal and dragging secrets out of him that he wanted to keep hidden. More like Rose than Martha had been, but uncomfortably so. They'd parted on good terms, unusually seeing as they'd spent most of the time on board with her slamming doors as violently as she could. He could still remember the look on her face as he'd said goodbye, standing in the bright sunshine and playful wind of a Welsh summer. 

Chewing gum, she'd grinned at him. "Well, I'll see you around then."

He nodded, hating to say the words. "Yeah, I suppose." Something within him had compelled him to say more. "Will you be okay?"

She'd looked at him as though he'd lost his mind, scorn and incredulity mixing together. "Me? 'Course I will, why wouldn't I be?" She'd rolled her eyes and hugged him tightly without an ounce of hostility. "You need to stop worrying so much, you know. The world will keep turning without you." Then she'd stepped away. "You better get going before my dad notices you. Police boxes don't usually show up on his farm."

Since Abby there'd been no one. And now, suddenly, there were four people here. Gwen sat on the floor, looking up at him with the interest of a child. Owen was leaning against the control panel, arms folded, jaw jutting out, daring the Doctor to surprise him. And the other two made him feel complete again. Jack was leaning against a pillar in the background, his eyes never once leaving the Doctor's face. And Rose… sitting in her old chair, older and more sedately, but her all the same. All waiting for him to start telling them what to do and why they should do it. It was almost like the old days.

"I've been checking out a few things on the TARDIS, and I've found a few things out," he informed them.

"On the what?" Gwen interrupted. He was slightly annoyed, and looked over at her to complain, but from the look on her face he could see she hadn't meant to say anything. And in a way, he could hardly blame her.

"TARDIS. You're in it." Jack gave the explanation before the Doctor could.

"And that stands for what exactly?" Owen asked.

"Time And Relative Dimensions In Space." The Doctor regained control of the conversation. "Bit wordy though, we tend not to say that unless we actually have to. _Anyway_, I've been checking out some things."

"And?" Rose prompted him.

"And… it's not that good."

Gwen sighed. "Tell us something we don't know."

"Okay." The Doctor rose to the challenge. "I know you can't wrap your hand around your…" He tailed off as he caught Rose's unimpressed face. "Still not funny? No, okay… Ahem." He cleared his throat. "As far as I can tell, baring in mind that the old girl's not running to full capacity, being a bit low on power and everything, what's going on isn't random. In fact, it's almost expected."

"What is?" Owen asked.

"All this, all the activity and the spate of incidents and stuff." The Doctor waved his arms around to express it. "The reason we're all here. It's sort of planned."

"By who?" Gwen looked horrified. "Who's planning it all?"

"When I say planned," the Doctor qualified, "I sort of mean, it's part of legend. Time Lord legend."

"A myth?" Jack asked.

"The Daleks were a myth," the Doctor reminded him. "If it makes you feel happier, yeah, call it a myth. But more a legend."

"Like the Cult of Skaro." Rose's voice was shaky, and he nodded.

"Like the Cult of Skaro."

Gwen shook her head, frowning. "But when you say it's a legend, it must mean something. Legends don't just exist for no reason."

The Doctor nodded. "Correct."

"So?"

He shrugged. "She's still working on it."

"Oh bloody hell!" Owen exclaimed. "You mean you don't even know yet? What kind of piece of-"

"Owen!" Jack warned him

"Well, really!" Owen turned to his boss. "I'm going outside, I'm going to see if Tosh can decipher this legend faster than this heap of junk." He headed for the door.

"Don't you want to know what the legend's called first?"

Owen turned round. "Yeah, what did you say?"

"I didn't." The Doctor paused, then relented. The guy was only trying to help after all. "The Legend of Piaculum."

Jack looked up sharply as Owen disappeared outside. "Piaculum?"

The Doctor fixed him with a warning look. "Yes."

Jack swallowed a large lump in his throat. "Nothing." He couldn't stop his eyes flickering over to Rose though. Neither could the Doctor; he hoped his Latin was getting rusty, he hoped the Legend of Piaculum didn't involve what it sounded like it did.


	19. Chapter 18

**Okay, please don't hurt me for this chapter! No Rose, no Doctor, not even any Jack... but you get to see a bit more of Jon who's going to become more important as the story goes on. **

**Over 10,000 hits now, which is incredible... thank you so much!**

**A bit of shameless plugging... I posted another story about Rose and the Doctor last night, called "Home"... I'm really unsure about it so if you fancy having a read, I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts, good or bad. It's only a one-shot so it's not going to take up as much of your time as this beast of a story!**

**And because I've already bored everyone I know with my excitement, I thought I'd share this with you... I'm going to see Billie Piper in a play for my birthday! So excited, been a fan of hers since way back in the popstar days. I'll report back when I've seen it (in March!) as to how she copes with live acting on the stage. My guess is shes gonna be amazing.**

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**Jon half-heartedly began clearing the cup-littered kitchen, scooping endless rubbish into a black sack. Janie had typically vanished from sight; he'd last heard her running upstairs to be sick. It wasn't her he was angry with though. Janie was always irresponsible, always immature and selfish. She'd had a fantastic time for most of the night, her stomach only reacting in the last half hour or so. It was longer than she usually lasted, and anyway, it was her eighteenth birthday. She had a right to behave how she liked. 

No, the person Jon was most angry with was his mother. It had taken some time for him to notice she'd gone, but when he did, he couldn't say he was entirely surprised. She'd been acting strangely for weeks, worrying over the smallest things even more than usual, being so distant that he'd considered calling a doctor. This was just the latest in a long line of ways Rose had let him down. It upset him more than he'd ever show; Jon was the steady child, the laid back, easy to deal with son, as compared to his tempestuous spoilt sister. Jon didn't mind being the more responsible out of the twins. But being the more responsible out of him and his mum… that was something else entirely.

Now, as he tidied up after his own party, the party his mother had promised she would not only organize and pay for, but host and attend, he knew he shouldn't be there. None of his friends still had curfews, none of them had to stick with their immature petulant sisters all evening in case she stupidly accepted drugs or tried to leave with a stranger. His friends could all at least count on their mums to be at their eighteenth birthday. It was bad enough his dad not being there; Rose had promised.

"You don't need to do that." Jon looked up as his granddad came into the room. Pete surveyed the mess in his kitchen. "Some party. Leave it, Jon, we'll do it later. You shouldn't have to clean up after your own party."

No, he shouldn't. Jon should be out with his friends at the nightclub they'd gone onto afterwards, celebrating his birthday in proper style. Instead he was here, because no matter what he wanted to do, he couldn't leave his stupid sister in this state. Because he'd promised his mum he'd always look out for her.

"Janie certainly had a good time," Pete remarked. He smiled. "Just like her gran that one. Always the life and soul of the party."

"Yeah." Jon nodded.

Pete raised his eyebrows. "Everything okay?"

"Yep."

But Pete knew that wasn't true. His grandson was always much more chatty than this, easy-going and full of smiles and cheerfulness. He'd watched him all evening and though Jon seemed to be enjoying himself, there was a frown right in the middle of his forehead and a tension in his shoulders. Everything wasn't alright.

"Jon."

Jon looked up and he couldn't help asking the question that was on his mind. "Where did Mum go?"

Pete shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm sure she's fine though. Your gran said an old friend called round, they've probably just gone out to catch up."

That did it for Jon. "It was our birthday!" he exploded. "She promised she'd be here! Couldn't she have put off catching up with an old friend until after today? Or couldn't they have stayed here? Why couldn't we meet her old friend?" His eyes widened suddenly as he came to a conclusion. "It was Dad, wasn't it? The old friend, it was…" Fresh anger boiled up. "She just left, just took him away like-"

Pete cut in. Jon losing his temper was an unheard of occurrence. Even as a small child, he'd been easy to placate. If this was the culmination of eighteen years worth of rage, it was probably best he didn't let go of it all now. He'd say things he didn't mean, things Pete didn't want to hear. No matter how unconventional their little family was, he adored Rose and her children; he didn't want to hear how useless she was as a mother.

"Jon, calm down. It wasn't your dad." That much he knew from the garbled story Jackie had told him in between quaffing glass after glass of sparkling wine. Something about some American called Captain Hack Jarkness or something like that (Pete suspected it was the something like that) who had appeared on the scene and claimed to know where _he_ was (Pete could hazard a guess at who the _he_ was).

"I told her not to go, I warned her!" Jackie had ranted. "But does she listen? Does she ever listen?" Then she'd looked at her husband in desperation. "Pete, what are we going to tell the kids?"

It was strange; they'd worried more about telling Janie, but Janie was too far gone by that stage to notice if her mother was there or not. In fact, she seemed to take Rose's absence as carte blanche to neck another bottle of chardonnay. They'd let her; if it made her happy, who were they to argue with it? Jon had obviously taken the news a lot worse than his sister.

Now he looked at his granddad, and Pete could see that the fact it could have been his dad had been a small, even tiny, comfort to him. If his mum had gone somewhere with his dad, then she was at least partly forgiven. Now, he looked even more devastated.

"So who was he?"

"Just a friend." Pete shrugged. "Look, it's late, why don't you go to bed? You and Janie can stay here, none of us are sober enough to drive. Your mum'll be fine." He hoped; Rose was usually so careful, so rational. He could barely believe that she'd run out like this, not even leaving a note. But on the other hand, she was Rose Tyler; maybe this was what she should have been behaving like all along.

"I'm not tired," Jon replied sulkily, knowing he sounded like a stroppy child, but unable to help it. He left the kitchen without another word, stomping through the house. He finally came to a halt outside on the verandah. He sat down on the heavy concrete steps and breathed out, his breath curling in delicate wisps in the cool summer air. The heat had gone out of the day entirely. Despite his attempts to forget her, Jon wondered if his mother had taken a jumper with her. A prime example of how he felt; he shouldn't be worrying about things like that. It annoyed him so much he wanted to throw something and shout, he thought smashing some plates up would help somehow. It always seemed to in films. But fortunately there were no plates around, apart from the small one knocked into the flower bed that some of Janie's friends had been using as an ashtray. It wouldn't make a satisfying enough crash, Jon decided. Instead he picked up the packet of cigarettes lying next to it, forgotten about. Jon didn't smoke, but tonight, he decided, he did. Maybe it would help him understand just why his mum had run out on their eighteenth birthday party.


	20. Chapter 19

**Yes, I'm still making you dangle! Not many more answers to be found here I'm afraid... Okay, I can seriously understand if people are getting fed up with my random asides away from the main action, but half the fun is in playing with the characters...

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Rose fiddled with the sleeves of Jon's sweatshirt anxiously, twisting her hands round and round each other. Owen was still outside discussing things with the fourth member of their team. Jack had disappeared too, several times, each time coming back smelling more like an ashtray. Leaving only three of them in the TARDIS. The Doctor was totally absorbed in reading the information which periodically flashed up on screen, sometimes with his glasses on, sometimes with them balanced precariously on top of his head. That was something Rose had never questioned before, but she found herself wondering now. Did he really need those or was it all some well-executed plan to make himself look more intelligent and (she had to admit) downright gorgeous? 

At first Rose was utterly captivated by watching his every move, hardly daring to trust her senses that he was really here again. Part of her felt sure that if she let her eyes wander for even a split second, she'd somehow lose him and wake up back at home in her bed like she had so many times before in dreams. But gradually, she tested the waters, venturing to look away for a brief instant before looking back again. Finally she dared to look away long enough to glance at Gwen. She was sitting on the floor of the control room, pressing buttons on her mobile phone. In her desire to see the Doctor again, and her elation over Jack being there too, Rose had somewhat overlooked both Gwen and Owen, dismissing them as necessary but not important. She felt a bit bad about that. She looked over at the Doctor again; he was busy, he didn't need her bothering him right now. Perhaps it was time she got to know this Gwen a bit better.

"Who are you trying to text?" Rose sat down beside her, nodding at Gwen's phone.

Gwen sighed heavily. "My boyfriend Rhys. He thinks I'm away on a course for a few days. I promised I'd keep in touch. But the signal's so instable here… mind you, they never claimed the future was bright, the future was another world, did they?" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"First time you've done something like this before?" Rose asked.

"First time I've come quite this far," Gwen agreed. "We're mainly based around Cardiff. This is… different."

Rose smiled. "That's one way to describe it. But you can call your boyfriend. The Doctor can fix your phone." She looked over at him. "Can't you?"

He looked up, obviously entirely oblivious to what was going on. "What?"

Rose rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Gwen's phone. You can do that thing you did to mine, what did you say it was?"

He thought back, a long way back, and a smile came to his face despite the worried frown creasing his forehead. "Jiggery pokery." He held his hand out. "Give it here." He fiddled with the phone for a few seconds and then handed it back. "Try it now."

Gwen skeptically wrote a brief message and pressed send. An amazed look came over her face as the light flashed to say it had gone. "That's incredible."

"I do try." He grinned cheesily before turning back to his screen.

Gwen was still amazed. "How did he do that? I mean, I know Jack can do some pretty phenomenal stuff but that's…" She smiled self-consciously. "Sorry, I must seem like a complete beginner to you."

Rose laughed. "Hey, you've been doing this kind of thing more recently than I have. A lot more recently." As she felt her spirits start to sink, she spoke again. "So how did you become part of Torchwood?"

"I saw too much." Gwen grinned. "I was a police officer, but I couldn't resist poking my nose in elsewhere. Jack offered me a job and here I am." She looked down her fingers suddenly, a slightly concerned look passing over her face. "Not exactly the usual way to fall into a job is it? I'm still sort of getting used to it."

Rose nodded. "I know what you mean. Sometimes you…" She hesitated. "Sometimes you wonder if you've made a huge mistake, like you're way out of your depth and you've done something really stupid."

Gwen nodded slowly. "Yeah. Just like that." She looked at the other woman curiously.

Rose shrugged. "Let's just say, I once made a spur of the moment decision and-"

"Lived to regret it?"

Rose looked over at the Doctor. Everything he did reminded her of one of the twins, Janie's habit of moving her mouth while she read, or Jon's way of standing. She smiled. "No, not at all. Just… sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out otherwise." Whether she'd have been happier never having met him. Jack had said that once, all that time ago. "_Wish I'd never met you, Doctor, I was much better off as a coward." _He hadn't meant it, she knew that. Life without the Doctor had been hard, even harder than life with him, and that had been incredibly trying at times. But life without ever knowing him, without seeing what was beyond herself and the little world she lived in. Without ever knowing what life was really all about, what love was all about… How could that ever have meant being happier? She'd admitted that so long ago and she meant it just as vehemently now when she thought about it. Standing in that cold vault with that _thing_ coming at her, her heart in her mouth, unable to form the words she really wanted to: _"It wasn't your fault, remember that, okay? It wasn't your fault. You know what? I wouldn't have missed it for the world."_

Life before Jack, and Torchwood and all that other stuff had been simple, Gwen thought. She'd had it all planned out, somewhere in the back of her mind. Marry Rhys, get a promotion, have a few kids, take them to Disneyland at least once. Own a house in the suburbs of Cardiff. Then Jack had happened, then Torchwood had shown its ugly face and now… Life was complicated now; she loved Rhys as much as she ever had, but then there was Owen. She didn't know how to describe her and Owen. It wasn't love. It wasn't even just sex. There was something else, a shared terror, a need for comfort. But it wasn't love. Because then there was Jack, and Gwen didn't even want to get into what that was. Life was complicated now. But to think she might never have had any of that, might never have known Jack or Owen or Toshiko or Ianto. To think she could have gone on in her ignorant state, not knowing what was going on out there. Ignorance wasn't bliss, Gwen decided. Her life had changed beyond all recognition, changed so that she cried herself silently to sleep sometimes at night. But that was better than never knowing.

She unconsciously voiced what both women were thinking. "I wouldn't change it. Not for the world."


	21. Chapter 20

**And another OC chapter... I'm sorry, I love Jon and Janie! But I promise, next chapter gives some answers. Stay tuned for what Piaculum means... what the legend entails... and (in a few chapters time)... the Doctor meets one of his children... why only one? and which one?**

**I'm gonna make you wait to find out!**

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**Janie slipped outside onto the verandah in the morning sunshine. She was glad it looked like a nice day again; wearing one of her gran's old silk nighties was bringing the goosepimples out along her arms and legs. She'd have put her shoes from last night on before coming out, except the mere thought of those stupid sandals was making her feet ache. She avoided a broken bottle and sat down on the verandah steps, hoping the fresh air would help to clear her head a little. 

Last night was a blur. She could remember bits of it in vivid Technicolor scenes, whilst other bits were so fuzzy it was like watching one of those crimestoppers programmes with people's faces blanked out. She could remember the toast Pete had made, beaming happily at his two grandchildren. Poor old Granddad; Janie adored him but she sometimes wondered what he'd do when she and Jon moved away. Him and Gran often seemed so distant, hardly speaking the same language, but then other times they were inseparable.

She could also remember when he'd come over and told her, gently and quietly, that their mum had been called away.

"But she's fine, there's nothing wrong," he'd said, and she knew immediately he was lying. People weren't just called away for no reason, there was always something wrong. What she didn't know. Everyone was here, everyone they cared about. Gran had no other family. Neither did Mum. There weren't even any proper friends apart from Mickey, who was, as usual, messing around with the CD player. In a flash, Janie had realized only one person would call her mum away like that. Dad. She'd looked up to ask Pete if that's what was going on, if their dad had suddenly and unexpectedly turned up. She'd kill Rose if she'd driven him away again, she'd… Only Pete had already moved away, to find Jon and pass on the bad news. Janie let her mouth fall shut again. She'd learnt her lesson about asking questions about her dad. She was only ever told lies.

The last thing Janie really remembered about last night was Rich Stringer. Rich who she'd been flirting with for weeks, the cool guy from college, the one who every guy wanted to be. Well, except Jon, but that was geeks for you. Even thinking of Rich made the frown Janie had been cultivating all morning whilst mulling over last night's events, disappear. Rich Stringer. Whoever said hard work paid off had been right on this occasion. That he'd come to the party had been enough, but then for him to kiss her… Janie wriggled on the step in excitement, unable to stop grinning. It had been around here, she remembered, just before he'd left. He'd smiled down at her, his lopsided smile, and wished her happy birthday, before putting his arms around her, and kissing her lightly on the lips. It had only been a second, but never had a second been so analysed by any one mind. It was like it was stuck on slow motion in her head; Janie couldn't resist replaying it over and over again. It had almost made up for her mum not being there.

She picked up the packet of cigarettes from where they were resting in the flowerbed. That must have been where she'd dropped them, and not been able to find them in the dark. She'd spent half the evening bumming other people's, sneaking quick puffs when her family weren't looking. There was no one around now though. She lit one and inhaled it deeply.

"So they're yours." Jon sat down next to her, taking her unawares. Her first instinct was to hide it and deny all knowledge, or failing that, put it out. Then she realized it had been a statement not a question; Jon had known all along.

She shook her hair out of her eyes. "Is there a problem with that?"

"They'll kill you."

"So will millions of other things." Janie took another drag. "You don't warn me off them." Her eyes danced merrily, knowing she was right.

Jon sat in silence for a few minutes. "You feeling better this morning?"

Janie nodded. "Yeah, fine. Not even hungover."

"Lucky you."

Janie grinned across at her brother and knocked the ash off the end of her cigarette. "Poor Jon. You're obviously not used to it."

"I could drink you under the table."

She shrugged. "Yeah probably. What's the time?"

"Just gone seven. You're up early."

"So are you."

After another few minutes of silence, Janie spoke again. "Mum's car's on the drive." Jon didn't reply. Janie frowned slightly and poked him with her finger. "Oi. Did you hear me?"

"So?"

"Did she come back last night?" Janie had been so dead to the world, she wouldn't have known if there had been an alien invasion last night.

Jon shrugged. "Don't know. I didn't see her if she did."

"Well… aren't you a bit worried?" Jon looked at her. She explained herself. "It's not like Mum to just… wander off."

"She'll be all right."

"Are you sure?"

"Janie, I thought you hated her. What were you saying last night? About how all she'd ever told us was lies, and you couldn't stand to hear anymore?" He raised his eyebrows challengingly.

Janie looked away, embarrassed to be reminded of that. She'd been angry, rightfully so she felt, but still… to say that she hated her own mum. "I still wouldn't want anything to happen to her."

Jon sighed. "No, me neither," he conceded. "She didn't take her phone with her though. We can't call her." He'd tried several times last night before realizing that she'd left it in her bag on the dining room table. She'd never gone out without it before. That worried him a bit. Actually, a lot.

As Janie finished her cigarette, he made a decision. "She's left her car keys behind. I could drive us home."

Janie looked at her brother, a teasing smile on her face. "But _Jon_, you're not _insured_!" she exclaimed melodramatically.

Jon gave her a playful shove. "I am in an emergency. And I think Mum going missing is an emergency, don't you?"

Janie swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat suddenly. "Missing? You think she's gone missing."

He could have hit himself. "No, she's not missing," he reassured her quickly. "She's probably at home, fast asleep. Come on." He stood up.

Janie remained sitting for a moment, and looked up at her brother. "Jon, do you think it's anything to do with…?" She left it unsaid.

Jon looked back at her for a moment. Then he shook his head. "No. I don't." He offered her a hand getting up. "Go and get dressed, we'll leave a note for Gran and Granddad."


	22. Chapter 21

**Here we are, at last, an explanation of the Legend of Piaculum. Now, if there are any Latin scholars out there, my definition was gained off an interpretation website so it might not be the exact interpretation, but for the purposes of my story its going to be! I don't profess to have any knowledge of Latin.**

**This is going to be my last update for a few days I think while I struggle along with Chapter 41... having a bit of trouble with that one, going to have a think about it tonight. It's pretty vital too, which is the awkward thing... I need to get that one right or the whole story might fall apart. I want to get that one done before I update much more because I don't want to end up having posted all the chapters I've written and literally be writing the next one at that second if that makes any sense. Probably doesn't!**

**Anyway... the Legend of Piaculum...**

**

* * *

**Owen finally returned to the TARDIS, looking quite pale. It was so unlike him to look that way, that Gwen couldn't help feeling anxious. This legend, whatever it was, must be something serious. Really serious. 

"Ah, you're back!" The Doctor greeted him cheerfully. Well, what Rose would describe as cheerfully, but she could still see those traces of anxiety and… her stomach churned. Fear. There was fear in those dark brown eyes. This was serious.

Owen nodded but didn't say anything. Jack soon rejoined the group, ignoring the disgusted look Gwen gave him as he wafted smoke back in with him.

"So?" He prompted the Doctor. "What's the deal with this Piaculum Legend? Does it do exactly what it says on the tin?"

Rose frowned. "What does it say on the tin? What does it even mean?"

The Doctor didn't reply, a grave look coming over his face. Rose could have kicked. Now wasn't the time to become the silent man she used to know, the one who never told her when things got bad. Now was the time to speak up, share the problem.

"Doctor?" Gwen ventured tentatively.

"Sacrifice." They whipped round to look at Owen, still standing. Trembling they saw now, all the cockiness gone from him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Piaculum means sacrifice."

"It's Latin." The Doctor nodded. "Means a sin, atonement, punishment… and sacrifice."

Gwen and Rose unconsciously looked at each other. A sacrifice. Something in the pits of their stomachs twisted.

"I'm guessing not sheep?" Gwen said hopefully, wishing they'd prove her wrong.

"No. Not sheep," The Doctor agreed.

"Then what?" Rose asked. Everyone was being so quiet, so reticent. She wished they'd just spill it, tell the truth, say what they all seemed to know already. She looked between the three men, her anger growing. "What's being sacrificed?" Owen paled even further and sat down heavily, closing his eyes in pain. Jack avoided her eye contact. "Doctor?"

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets and walked round the edge of the console, a pained look on his face. He took one hand out of his pocket and scratched the back of his neck, pulling a face.

"Doctor!"

He leaned back against the wall and looked down at his feet. He sighed heavily. "Me. I'm the lamb."

* * *

Rose shook her head violently. "No! No, there must be some mistake. It can't be…" She punched at a few buttons on the TARDIS and tried to find the files he'd been looking at. "You must have read it wrong, there must be…"

"There's no mistake," Owen said thickly from where he was sitting. He looked terrible, Rose thought, staring into the space in front of him. "He's right. Tosh checked it out."

"Well maybe Tosh is wrong!" Rose spat at him angrily. What did this Tosh know anyway, locked away somewhere, typing things frantically into a computer as though it held all the answers of life? Nothing, that's what she knew, absolutely nothing.

"Rose." The Doctor spoke gently at first then more loudly. "Rose! Leave it alone."

She turned to face him, tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. "What do you mean, leave it? You're not just going to give up, give in, are you?" she demanded. He looked so defeated, so utterly exhausted suddenly. It frightened her; he was usually the one insisting they fight, insisting that it wasn't over until the Doctor danced. Where had his passion gone?

Jack stepped in when the Doctor didn't reply. "Maybe we should give him a chance to explain," he suggested, taking Rose's arm gently. "There must be more to this than just that, maybe there's something we can do... No legend's conclusive."

The Doctor looked away for a long time. Then he looked back at the motley crew in front of him. "It's a strange legend, unknown origin. Of course, they all claim it was them that started it, but it's never as easy as that."

"Who's 'they'?" Gwen ventured to ask.

"All the aliens you've mentioned. Slitheen and the Gelth and the fairies and the rest of them." The Doctor shrugged. "It's not an exact science, it could be them give or take a few."

"Daleks?" Rose asked in a whisper.

"Perhaps." The Doctor gave her a small smile. "It's always Daleks with us, isn't it, Rose?"

"They never know when to stop," she agreed in a small voice. She swallowed heavily. "So… what does the legend involve?"

"Me. And them. And a sacrifice." He shrugged off-hand. "Does what it says."

"You mean it picks you out?" Jack looked at him skeptically. "It actually says 'there will be a sacrifice of the Doctor'? I've always found legends and curses and things to be a bit… non-specific."

"It says the last Time Lord." Owen spoke up again. "That's you, right?"

"Right." The Doctor raised his eyebrows at Jack. "Vague yet specific, like all good myths."

Rose looked at him suddenly, a growing fear in the pit of her stomach. "The last Time Lord? Is it a modern thing then, since…"

"The Time War." The Doctor filled in the blanks. "You can say it, Rose. But no, it's not that recent, in fact, it's pretty ancient. Back in the long ago realms of history."

"But the last Time Lord…?"

The Doctor sighed. "It's actually something about the last born Time Lord, the youngest Time Lord. But seeing as I'm the only one left, I think we can paraphrase it as 'last', don't you?"

Rose didn't. Like something being wrenched out of her, all the comfort of being back on the TARDIS again and among friends, what little comfort there'd been in amongst the disturbing revelations, had suddenly disappeared from sight. Because she was in the wrong place, she shouldn't be here. _The last Time Lord…_

"I need to go home," she decided, breaking the others' sombre silence.

The Doctor and Jack both looked at her incredulously.

"Home?" The Doctor looked at her. "Rose, what do you mean?" She could read in his eyes so clearly his sense of being abandoned, and she hated herself for doing it for him. She'd promised him so much, so long ago, promised she'd be there for him always. But he wasn't the important one anymore, that legend was all wrong, they'd all got it wrong, she was certain. And she had to get home now before anything happened.

"I need to go home. Jack, can you drive me?"

Jack looked from the Doctor to Rose in bewilderment but nodded. "Yeah, sure. What's going on?"

"I'll explain when we get there, but we need to go _now_!" Rose was already heading for the door. If this legend meant what they claimed it did, they didn't have any time to lose. Because the last Time Lord wasn't in this TARDIS.

* * *

**So... who is the last Time Lord? Answers on a postcard... no prizes, just for a bit of fun... You'll find out in the next chapter... as will the Doctor...**

**(I sound like a cheesey TV voice over person... how bizarre?!)**


	23. Chapter 22

**Surprise update! Chapter 41 sorted itself out! Thanks to horsefly and Klove0511 for their well-wishing on that topic! I was so worried about that chapter as I'd made virtually no decisions about it (I'll explain more when it gets to it) but as soon as I'd made one decision, the rest kinda fell into place. As a result, I am now pretty much in love with that chapter as I think it's actually a cut above most of my writing, but don't want to boast too much lol.**

**So here it is, the update you weren't expecting for a few days arrives early due to some kind thought processes. God bless inspiration.

* * *

**

Rose rang the doorbell. Damn her forgetting her keys. She could feel the others all behind her, all baffled as to her sudden homesickness. She could especially sense the Doctor's confusion at her abrupt change of mood, from grief-stricken over his imminent demise to desperation to leave then and there.

Hammering on the door, Rose wished someone would answer. Then it hit her. Maybe they weren't even here, maybe they were still at Pete and Jackie's. But that wouldn't explain why her car was here…

The door opened finally. Jon peered at them blearily.

"Mum?" He looked at the assortment of strangers behind her in confusion. "Mum, what's going on, where have you been?"

Rose pushed past her son. Much as she loved him, much as she knew she owed him a thousand and one explanations for her recent behaviour, but he wasn't the one she needed to see right now. She turned round to face him. "Is Janie in?"

He rolled his eyes. "Typical," he muttered. "It's always Janie."

Rose was unused to Jon being like this, but she didn't have time to deal with it right now. "Jon, I'm serious, where is she?"

Jon looked at the others again. "Who are all these people?"

"Jon! Where is your sister?" Rose snapped, fear making her irrational.

"She's just gone out to meet a friend." Jon shrugged. "No big deal."

"Oh my God." Rose paled visibly. "Which friend, where's she gone?"

"I don't know exactly, she didn't say."

"Has she got her mobile? Have you tried calling it?" Rose reached for the telephone and began dialing the number she knew off by heart. It went straight to voicemail. "Hi, this is Janie Tyler, I can't come to the phone right now but-" Rose slammed the phone down and reached for her car keys. "I need to go and find her." She went back out the door, pushing past them all. Until the Doctor caught her arm and looked at her with those questioning eyes.

"Rose, what's going on?"

Rose glanced over his shoulder and saw her son, those same eyes, asking the same question. She'd wanted this moment so many times, to have her two favourite boys in the same place, to introduce them, to tell them all the truth finally. But not like this. Then she remembered Janie.

She let out a long breath. "It's my daughter, I need to find her." She waited for the look of shock to pass ever so slightly off of his face before she continued with the killer blow. "_Our_ daughter. The last Time Lord."

* * *

Jon's eyes widened as he took in the stranger in front of him. A chill ran down his spine as he recognized so many of his own features in him, so many of Janie's. It was almost like looking in a mirror, only seeing the two of the merged together and in twenty years time. Their father. But this was insanity, Mum had said he was never coming back, that he was gone for good. But he clearly could. And he'd chosen not to. Jon didn't know which of his parents he hated most at that moment. 

He took a few steps forward.

"You're my dad?"

The man glanced back over his shoulder towards Rose. She nodded.

"Jon, this is the Doctor. Your father."

Jon had imagined this moment almost his whole life. He knew he never talked about his dad, not like Janie, always asking questions. He knew that they all thought he was fine with the fact that his dad was gone, who knew where, miles away from him and never got in contact. They all thought he was so responsible, so well-adjusted. They just didn't understand that no matter how mature a ten-year-old boy was, it hurt him deep inside to score the winning goal in a football match and not have his dad there to cheer and clap. Jon might not have vocalized his longings to meet his father, but it didn't mean they weren't there, every day. He'd fantasized about this moment for as long as he could remember. How his dad would one day walk back into his life, slap him on the back and tell him how proud he was to be his father and how sorry he was to have missed all those years. And though Jon knew he'd never be able to forgive him for leaving his mum all alone, he'd be able to move on and get to know this man. But this wasn't how it was supposed to be, his mum running out on their eighteenth birthday, gone all night and then trying to get away again without explaining anything. This man wasn't supposed to just stand on the driveway, dumbstruck, he was supposed to throw his arms around Jon and say something like out of all the films. This wasn't how he'd imagined it.

His reaction wasn't how it was supposed to be either. It was like in slow motion, as Jon felt his hand curl up into a ball, so tight that his fingers hurt and his knuckles went white. His arm moved as though it had a life of its own, through the air in a perfect arc. Time seemed to stop and his ears blocked out all the noise from the traffic and the birds. The thud as his fist connected with this man's face reverberated throughout his body and brought him back to reality.

"Jon!" his mother cried as the man fell to the floor, unprepared for such an assault. Jon found himself instantly held back by one of the other men, the tall one in the military style coat, who immediately began giving orders.

"Owen, Gwen, go inside and see if you can find a photo of Janie. Then take it to Toshiko, we need to start searching for her." He held on tightly to Jon who struggled. "Calm down! I'm not letting you go until you calm down!"

Rose had fallen to her knees beside the Doctor, who was just propping himself up, dabbing at his bloody nose. He managed a wonky grin.

"Hell of a right hook," he said weakly, looking at Rose pointedly.

"Come inside." Rose helped him up and then turned her attention towards Jon. "Jon, I'm ashamed of you, what was that for?"

Jon shrugged, no longer fighting Jack but falling resolutely silent on the matter. Jack loosened his hold slightly.

"Rose, have you got a photo of Janie anywhere?" he asked quickly.

Rose's mind went blank, unable to think where they'd find a picture of her daughter. It was ridiculous, they had dozens of them, hundreds.

"There's a pretty recent one on the fireplace in the living room," Jon finally said. "Of me and her."

Jack gestured with his head towards the house and threw the keys to the car towards Owen. "I'll stay here."

Gwen paused as she headed into the house, frowning. "What if we need you?"

"You know how to get hold of me, there's nothing I can do." Jack brushed her off. "Now go on, you're wasting time." He missed the hurt look on her face as she headed into the house to collect the photo. Just like he always missed it.

* * *

Jon had stormed upstairs once Jack had let go of him completely. Rose sat the Doctor down in the lounge and handed him a box of tissues, resisting the urge to dab at the blood trickling out of his nose herself, and instead crossing the room to stand with her back to him, looking out the window as Gwen and Owen raced away in the black car. She wondered if they had a car like that at their Torchwood. Alexander and the rest of them had certainly kept that one quiet if they had. To think she could have been racing round in one of those all this time, instead of… 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She jerked back into reality, somewhere she'd hated for quite a long time, as his voice cut into her thoughts. He was standing behind her, his hands in his pockets, the blood congealing around his nose in messy clumps. She hoped Jon hadn't broken his nose.

"Tell you what?" She asked in a soft voice, buying herself some time by faking ignorance.

"That our son was such a dab hand at throwing punches," he deadpanned.

Rose met his eye and matched his tone. "I didn't know."

He smiled weakly and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh Rose. I take it you knew when we said goodbye?"

She nodded. "I tried to tell you, I did, but… I don't know, it just seemed easier if you didn't know."

"So you told me it was your mum?" He shook his head. "Did you not think I'd want to know?"

"What good would it have done?" Rose demanded. "You couldn't come here, I couldn't go back. It would have been like you losing it all, all over again. I… I didn't want to hurt you."

"Oh Rose." He looked at her painfully, his eyes sad and his voice so low she could hardly hear him. "What's a bit more pain when you've already had both your hearts broken?" He sighed heavily. "Speaking of which, have they…?"

"Just one each," Rose replied. "Maybe it's nature's way of dealing with it, you know, twins and everything. It didn't show up till pretty late on the scan, the doctors were surprised. So was I."

He nodded gravely. "And what about regenerating and stuff?"

Rose shook her head. "No. Not yet anyway." She hoped never. She'd had to cope with him changing once and it had nearly destroyed her. If she had to see her own children change… Janie becoming the natural blonde she'd always wanted to be, Jon losing five inches in height… it would finish her off.

"Do they know about me?" He raised his eyebrows. "About us? About… everything?"

"No." Rose was reminded of something the Doctor had said a long time ago, on one of the few occasions he'd ever properly opened up to her.

_Placing his hand on the TARDIS as though he needed to feel its solidity, the Doctor spoke in a quiet resigned tone. "Little piece of home. Better than nothing."_

_"Is that the end of it? The Time War?"_

_"I'm the only one left. I win." There was a trace of bitterness in his voice, and irony, but mainly just sadness. "How about that?"_

_"The Dalek survived," Rose said tentatively. "Maybe some of your people did too."_

_The Doctor shook his head. "I'd know. In here." He tapped his head. "Feels like there's no one."_

Now she frowned. "But didn't you know…?"

Like he knew what was about to say, he shook his head gravely. "No. I guess, different universes, must have messed things up a bit. Made it harder to be able to know." He looked over at her again. "So you never told them who they really were?"

Rose shook her head slowly, and realized for the first time how dangerous her lies had been. She should have seen this coming, but she'd been so busy trying to make their lives normal, that she'd never dared mention the extraordinariness in them. In her mind, she'd sectioned all that danger away with him when he'd said goodbye. It had seemed she'd been wrong. Because now Janie was out there, at the mercy of who knew what, and she hadn't a clue. Not a clue.

Jack knocked on the open door gingerly, poking his head round the corner. He held up two cups of tea. "Two sugars and milk in each, right?"

His kindness was too much. Rose burst into noisy embarrassing sobs. She wished that the Doctor would reach across and hug her, tell her everything would be alright. But he couldn't seem to make his way across the ten inches of carpet between them. Instead, Jack discarded the mugs and reached for her.

"It's alright," he said gently as Rose sobbed for the second time in two days into his shoulder. He looked over her head in disbelief at the Doctor, pulling a face. The Doctor ignored him and stared out of the window.

"Rose, listen to me. We'll find Janie, we'll bring her home and we'll beat them, okay?" Jack spoke as to a child, coaxing and comforting and he held her face tightly in his hands. Rose felt like the young girl she'd been when she'd first met him, blinded by his fancy ways and slick moves. But most of all, by his kindness, his good-natured humour. She wished she could stay in his arms and forget all the lies she'd told since then, forget how big a gap she'd created between her and the Doctor. The way he was looking at her she felt like she had that time so long ago, when she'd met her dad.

_He'd pushed her away, refused to let her touch the baby in front of her. It had been an instinctive reaction, to reach out and tickle her toes or something. But he'd reeled off a dozen reasons why she couldn't do that._

_"Can't do anything right, can I?" she asked miserably._

_"Since you ask, no. So. Don't. Touch. The baby." He annunciated every word, as though he were talking to an idiot, his blue eyes cold and remote._

_"I'm not stupid!" she protested, feeling herself on the verge of tears again._

_"Could have fooled me."_

He'd been so angry that time, angry and hurt. She'd disobeyed him, believed she could do it better alone. Believed she knew better. He'd been scared too, she realized now, scared that he really didn't know what to do this time. She'd obviously been more of a challenge to him than the others, than the Sarah-Janes who had gone before. Maybe the biggest challenge of all, she thought, as she turned to look at him, standing in her living room, where'd she'd wanted him for so long, his nose red and a black eye already forming. She'd never disappointed this one before.

She stepped out of Jack's arms and took a few steps towards him. "I'm sorry."

He turned to look at her. "What?"

She cleared her throat. "I said, I'm sorry."

A smile broke out across his face, that tried its best to reach his eyes and only just fell short. Rose could forgive that as he gave her the hug she'd really been wanting all along. "Rose Tyler," he said into her hair. "Jack's right. It's all going to be fine."

Rose knew he was lying, but decided to believe him. From now on she'd do things his way. It was safer all round. She hugged him closer, wanting to tell him how much she'd missed him, how much she'd longed for him at the most stupid moments. She wanted to tell him that she was putting all her trust in him, that she was relying on him to bring their daughter home. But there wasn't time for that now. It would have to wait.

She pulled herself together and stepped out of his hug, wiping tears off her face. "I'm going to go and ring Mum and Dad," she explained. "They should know what's going on, and we might need Dad… he works for Torchwood," she added. "And Mickey might be some use." She paused to allow the inevitable snort from the Doctor. "I'll check on Jon too and I'll get you some ice for your nose." She nodded, half to herself. "I'll be back in a bit."


	24. Chapter 23

**Nearly up to 15, 000 hits now! That's insane! But very much appreciated! I just hope everyone can be bothered to stick with it till the end. To try and whet your appetite, here's what's coming up in the next few chapters: a Torchwood style investigation; a bit of undercover work at this Torchwood; an appearance by the Bad Wolf and does Jon hold the key to solving their problems? To give you an idea of the scale of this story... you're on chapter 23... Part One ends after Chapter 36... and I'm currently writing/re-writing (cos I'm not entirely happy with them) Chapters 43 and 44 which is ooooooooo let's think mentally plans out story in head because no matter what it appears like, even though I have a word document entitled "Under the Rug plan" (that was the original working title, pretty rubbish), I actually have no written plan I think there's about 6 or 7 more chapters in part 2 and then... um... maybe 4 or 5 in part 3 (just as well I didn't post them as separate stories, would have been rubbish!) plus an epilogue I think... that's what my brain's saying at the moment. So that's what we'll go with. Hooray!**

**

* * *

**Jack closed the door behind Rose as she left the room. He fixed the Doctor with an icy stare as he took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. 

"She won't like you doing that."

"I think a bit of cigarette smoke is the least of her problems right now, don't you?" Jack demanded. "And you're not helping."

The Doctor sighed heavily and turned to face Jack. "What do you suggest I do, Jack? I've just found out I have two children I knew nothing about because _she_ lied to me!" He hissed the last bit, not really wanting Rose to hear him. Angry and upset as he was, he didn't want to hurt her.

"She was just a kid, she was upset, heartbroken," Jack defended her. "You just _left_ her on that beach, from what you told me, just abandoned her. Hardly the best time to tell you she was pregnant was it?"

The Doctor supposed not. She had tried, he remembered that. The tentative way she'd introduced the subject. _And the baby_. Then she'd backtracked hastily, shrugging it off. He knew her so well, he should have known she was lying. But the way he felt right now, he wished Jack wasn't being so rational. In fact, he wished he hadn't told Jack about it all, hadn't shared all his innermost secrets that night they'd met again. After the initial surprise and joy at seeing each other, they'd spent the evening having the wake that had never been, sitting reminiscing over a lethal brew Jack had picked up from some far away place. Then the Doctor had broken down, letting go of all the grief that had consumed him for so long. Today decided it; he was never drinking again.

"I didn't _abandon_ her," he muttered now. "There wasn't much choice in the matter."

"Whatever." Jack rolled his eyes at the Doctor's quibbling over little words. "It still doesn't mean you can just stand there when she's obviously upset, obviously worrying herself sick over her... _your_ daughter. Poor kid."

"She's not a kid anymore," the Doctor pointed out. Eighteen years. Eighteen years. He could hardly believe it. Since meeting Rose again, he'd had time to look at. And she'd changed. She was still roughly Rose Tyler, still the woman he'd… But she was different too, there was something different about her eyes and her way of standing. So unsure of herself, so anxious and nervy. Those eighteen years had done a lot. He'd always thought she was strong enough to weather any storm. He'd obviously been wrong. So wrong. "She's not a kid anymore, and she's still lying."

"Like you've never told a lie," Jack challenged him.

"Name one."

"How about when you sent her away the first time?" Jack said pointedly, raising his eyebrows. "How big a lie do you want?"

"That was different! I did it to protect her!"

"And that's why she did this!" Jack exclaimed angrily. "God, you don't get it do you? When she realized what you'd done, don't you think she was hurt too? And angry? But I suppose she never said anything did she, never told you how she felt? Because she was scared she'd lose you, scared you'd leave her behind just like you'd left me behind!"

"Hold on, that was an accident!" The Doctor protested. "We didn't mean to leave you, it was all so… complicated."

"How?" Jack demanded. "How was it complicated?" he repeated when the Doctor didn't reply.

"We didn't know you were still alive for starters."

"You said you'd explain what happened when we found her again, tell me how I've ended up like _this_!" He gestured towards himself. "You said-"

"Jack!" The Doctor silenced him. "I will, okay, I'll tell you what happened, I'll tell you everything. Both of you. But not now. There're other things we need to be doing. I'm sorry, Jack."

Jack looked at the Doctor's outstretched hand, hanging in the air waiting to shake his. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," he said softly, before leaving the room.

* * *

Rose opened Jon's bedroom door carefully, to find her son lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't say anything as she let herself in and closed the door behind her, the carpet softly rustling as she did so. She walked across his room, stepping over his abandoned guitar and sat down on the bed next to him. 

"What are you looking at?" she asked eventually.

Jon lifted an arm from his side. "I was just thinking how those bobbles in the paper look a bit like Britain," he said, pointing to where he meant.

Rose smiled. "Yeah, you're right, they do." She looked at her son fondly. "You used to play games like that all the time, you know? With clouds and things. Stars."

"I remember." He nodded. "You used to play along too, didn't you? Not Janie though."

Rose shook her head. "No, not Janie." A lump stuck in her throat as she thought of her daughter. She wished Owen and Gwen would contact them and tell them what was going on, whether they'd found her or not. Every second was another second that Janie was missing and in danger. Her resolve to believe the Doctor was already beginning to fade and dissolve.

Jon resumed his staring at the ceiling for a few minutes more. "Is he really our father?" he asked finally.

Rose couldn't tell what he thought of the Doctor from his tone. It was only now she was beginning to really understand her son, she realized. That punch downstairs had been more than a spur of the moment thing, more than just shock. It had been a perfect strike, as though Jon had unconsciously planned that for years. Maybe it wasn't that he was less interested in his dad than Janie; maybe he was just better at hiding it.

"Yes, he is." She glanced at him to gauge a reaction.

"What about the others?" He didn't reward her with one. A closed book, always so hard to understand. Like his father, Rose realized suddenly. Or at least, the man his father had been before.

"Others?"

"The man and the woman… Owen or something." Jon pulled a face. "And that American."

"Jack's an old friend of mine," Rose explained, tracing the swirling patterns on Jon's duvet with her finger. "Mine and your dad's actually. We knew each other a long time ago. Gwen and Owen are… sort of… colleagues of his." She turned to him as she saw a puzzled look pass across his face. "Jon, it's really complicated, so complicated I don't know where to start."

"Is Janie in some sort of trouble?"

Rose nodded, feeling tears filling up her eyes again. "Yeah, she is."

"Has it got something to do with him?"

Rose nodded again. "Yeah."

Jon swung his legs off the bed and stood up. "I better go and talk to him then, hadn't I?"

Rose stood up too and put her hands carefully on his shoulders. "Jon, don't… don't be too hard on him, he's had a shock, he's…"

"He didn't know about us did he?"

Rose shook her head miserably, aware of how much she'd hurt everyone. "No. There wasn't time to tell him before…"

"Before he left you."

"It wasn't exactly like that."

"What happened, Mum?" Jon demanded. "Who is he?"

Rose sighed heavily. The million dollar question. Who exactly was the Doctor? She still wasn't sure she knew herself. After all this time, after all those months she'd spent with him… he was still so distant. Maybe it had been too long.

"It's complicated," she said again and she saw Jon clam up again, any openings he'd let her into disappearing as the shutters came down across his face. She'd gained that from him, the Doctor, the ability to push people away. Now she was pushing her own son away with her tangled words, her lack of explanation. And there was nothing she could do about it because she didn't know how to explain who the Doctor was.

The doorbell rang.

"That'll be your gran and granddad." Rose broke the silence between them.

Jon nodded. He walked out through the door and downstairs to let them in. Rose took a deep breath before entering the madness below.


	25. Chapter 24

**I've just finished writing Chapter 44 which is the longest chapter yet... I hadn't realised quite how long until I re-read it!**

**Thanks again for all the reviews!**

**Rose gets a bit bad towards the end of this chapter... crazy as this may seem, me being in charge of the story and everything, she actually surprised me with where I ended up with writing this... I think it kinda fits! After all, she was never averse to playing games with Mickey... for an example of this, I refer to The Christmas Invasion where, after Mickey asks her "You really love him, don't you?", she doesn't reply, she just sort of flings herself at him. Very fond of keeping him dangling... Sorry, random Rose rant there! I love her, I really do, but blimey she can be an evil cow at times!**

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**Rose met her parents at the bottom of the stairs. Jackie looked terrible, like she'd been crying. A right pair they made, Rose thought, as she felt the last few traces of her mascara slip off the bottom of her face. She'd looked so nice last night, she'd tried so hard. What a waste. Pete looked pale and drawn too. 

"What's happened?" Jackie demanded. She hugged Rose ferociously. "Where did you go last night? Where's Janie?"

Rose felt weary; she'd been up all night and now all of this. It felt like her daughter had been missing for years, like she'd been telling the same story over and over again, when in fact she'd told no one the full story. It was almost as though this was normality, a Time Lord in their living room, a man who was supposed to be dead in the kitchen, and her only daughter kidnapped by some aliens. Strange how you could slip back into things so quickly.

"I'm not sure," she told her parents now.

"We should be out there searching for her!" Jackie cried. "Me and your dad'll start scouring the streets if you-"

"No, Mum!" Rose said through gritted teeth. "It's not that sort of missing, she's not… it's more complicated, it's…"

Pete put an arm round her shoulders. "Come and sit down, love, explain what's going on." He began steering her towards the living room door, but Rose suddenly remembered the other thing she hadn't told them, and resisted.

"Before we go in there, I should tell you-" she began but was cut off as Jackie pushed the door open and gave a shriek.

"You!" Jackie exclaimed, staring the man in front of her. Rose saw the look of pure terror pass across his face; it seemed after all this time, Jackie Tyler still had the ability to make grown Time Lords quake in their Converse. "I might have known it was you! Wherever trouble is, you're not far behind." She turned to her daughter. "Does he know? Does he know about Janie?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah, Mum, he knows," she said flatly.

"So it is more complicated than we thought then," Pete remarked wryly.

Rose looked up and him and nodded. "You could say that." She turned her attention back to her mum, who was still standing near the Doctor, making him cower like a frightened animal. "Mum, come and sit down. Threatening him's not helping."

"It makes me feel better," Jackie reluctantly sat down on the sofa. She looked between them. "Where's Janie?"

Rose shrugged.

"Rose, how are you being so calm?" Jackie exploded. "Your daughter is missing, God knows where, and you're just sitting here! It's his fault, you always lose your head when he's around." She gave the Doctor a filthy look. "So you know your daughter's missing then, do you?"

He nodded. "Yes, I do, thanks Jackie."

"So what are you doing about it?" Jackie demanded. "What's taken her?"

Rose's eyes flickered to meet his and she felt something pass between them. _Don't tell her. _When they used to travel together, so much was left unsaid between Rose and Jackie, things that Rose wouldn't have been able to put into words for her mother to understand. It had been easier that way; Jackie would never have let her only child leave time after time if she'd heard some of the things that had happened to her. It had been an unspoken agreement between the Doctor and Rose; Jackie didn't get told the really scary stuff. Now was one of those times.

"It's all in hand," the Doctor bluffed.

Jackie raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "I asked what had taken her. Is it one of those things that had me and Mickey trapped in his flat? Those… oh what were they called…?"

"Slitheen, Mum." Rose supplied the word. "No, not one of those. It's… this erm…" She needed something non-threatening sounding, something her mother had never heard of…

"The Squidgee." Rose looked up to see the Doctor's answer and pulled a face behind her mum's back. The Doctor ignored her. "It's this alien race, collects humans for its own amusement. You know, like a zoo. But they're harmless, we'll have Janie back in no time at all."

"So where is she?" Jackie asked dubiously.

"Erm, we're working on that," Rose replied.

"By sitting in here?" Jackie looked at her daughter incredulously. "How are you working on anything sitting in here and… and sipping tea?" She stood up abruptly and wrenched the cup of tea out of the Doctor's hand, spilling it over his hand.

"Ow!" he complained as the hot liquid spilled out over his hand.

"I'll give you more to complain about if you don't start looking for your daughter right now!" Jackie snapped crossly.

"We've found her." They all turned their heads as one towards the door where Jack was standing. He backtracked as soon as he saw all their hopeful faces turned towards him. God, he hated disappointing them like this. "At least… we know where she is. Sort of."

"What are we waiting for then?" The Doctor nodded at Rose. "We better get going."

Jon came into the room. "I'm coming."

"No you're not," Rose replied firmly. One child missing was tearing her apart; two and there be nothing left to rip. "You're staying here, Jon, with your gran and granddad." Jackie was still in such an agitated state she forgot to mind being called gran.

"Maybe I ought to come," Pete suggested.

"You?" The Doctor sounded surprised.

"Yes. Me." Pete gave him a brief glare, and Rose wasn't sure who to side with. She adored Pete, worshipped the ground he walked on, and she hated the way the Doctor had sounded. It wasn't like he hadn't saved the world ten times over before. First when he died and then when he'd hacked into the computers. Her dad knew what he was doing. But then again, she hated to see anyone glare at the Doctor like that.

"Dad, I know you only want to help, but…?" She frowned, puzzled. What could Pete possibly do that the Doctor and Jack and the others couldn't?

Pete coughed awkwardly. "There might be something that I need to be involved in," he said cryptically.

Only the Doctor knew what he meant.

"No, no officials," he said decisively, shaking his head. "No Government men crawling all over the place." He headed towards the door. "Just me, Rose and Jack. We've got a Torchwood thanks."

"This is still our territory," Pete insisted, deadly calm, like Rose had seen him before. He never lost his temper, never snapped or shouted like Jackie. Just stayed threateningly quiet and rational, stating the facts and providing answers. He was much more terrifying than Jackie.

"We don't need heroes, Pete. You're not coming."

"That's not really your choice," Pete informed him.

The Doctor whipped round and faced the other man, his eyes blazing and his entire face changing to one of anger and determination. "This time it is," he snarled angrily. The bitterness spilling out of his body amazed even Rose. "Now she might have forgiven you, she might even call you Dad, but I haven't. This time, you're not getting involved. It's dangerous enough already." He pushed past Jack into the hallway and reached for the front door handle when Pete spoke again.

"I thought you said these creatures were harmless."

Rose looked at the Doctor, her face a picture of pain. _Don't tell them_, her eyes begged him. _Don't worry them_.

"Even the most harmless creatures can be dangerous if you poke them long enough with a stick. As I'm sure your Torchwood has found out often enough," the Doctor spat. He gestured towards the other two. "Come on, no time to waste."

They followed him out of the front door, Jack throwing anxious glances at a bewildered Rose. They were just getting into her car when a van pulled across the drive, screeching to a halt. The door was flung open and Mickey jumped out. He pulled himself up short when he saw the Doctor and Jack standing on the drive.

Jack spoke first as Mickey tried to find the right words. "Mickey. So glad you could make it," he remarked dryly.

Mickey looked at Rose. "Is this…? Why didn't you tell me when you called?"

Rose shrugged awkwardly. "Surprise?" she suggested weakly.

Mickey nodded. "Just a bit. But Janie, what's happened?"

"That's what we're about to find out." The Doctor looked between Rose's Ford Focus and the van across the drive. "You can drive," he instructed Mickey, heading towards the van.

"What's wrong with my car?" Rose asked, frowning.

"Nothing." The Doctor shook his head. "It just seems like a van moment."

Rose bit her tongue hard. He couldn't help it, these jokey asides, these explosions of temper at random moments. It wasn't the same for him as her, he wasn't worried sick over Janie. This was just another case for him, or so it seemed. The thing that scared her most was the way she was becoming her old self again, the carefree Rose Tyler of so many years ago. It was like just being around him infected her with his own _laissez faire_ attitude. Somehow, with thoughts of him rushing through her head, she hadn't room for anything else, no worry, no fear, no anxiety. It was just pushed aside while she basked in his sunbeams. Mickey had been right all that time ago.

_Blinking away tears, Rose asked an utterly selfish question, but she'd lost all tact in the last few hours. "What about me? What if I need you?"_

_Mickey shook his head. "Yeah, but Rose... you don't. It's just you and him, isn't it?"_

Just her and the Doctor. For an instant Rose believed that, believed that this was just the best day of her life as she slipped back into her old role, side by side with two of the best friends she'd ever had. But only for an instant. It wasn't just her and the Doctor anymore. And it couldn't be ever again.

"Rose?" She came back from her thoughts to see Jack standing by the van. "Are you coming?" He held his hand out to her.

Rose nodded and then, slowly and deliberately, catching the Doctor's eye as she did so, took Jack's hand. And held onto it.


	26. Chapter 25

**I'm halfway through sending out PMs to everyone who's put this on their favourites or on alerts... only apparently you can only send 24 in one day!!! So I'm a getting there slowly!**

**What can I say about this chapter? Not the best, but develops a few things. Large chunk taken from "Bad Wolf" written by Russel T Davies, the legend that is. I love him! He's written some of the best things I've ever seen on TV... The Second Coming with Christopher Eccleston in it is the first proper TV drama I can remember seeing... and very good it was too.**

**Next chapter... Torchwood investigation!**

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"Where are we going?" Mickey asked, as he pulled off the drive and drove away. Rose felt momentarily embarrassed as he checked his wing mirrors. Jack would have slapped his foot down by now; the Torchwoods were different in so many ways. Then she forgot it. 

"We're meeting the others first." Jack leaned over the front seat, fiddling with the watch around his wrist. "Then we can follow them, they've got all the equipment we'll need. It's the Baden Estate, do you know it?"

Rose started from where she was sitting on the floor of the van. "The Baden Estate?"

Jack turned to look at her. "Yeah. Why?"

Rose shook her head. "Nothing. It's just… we used to live there."

"The Powell Estate!" Mickey exclaimed suddenly. "I had no idea…"

Rose had. Rose had realized a long time ago that there was more to this parallel world than first met the eye. More than the same people slightly removed… it was all the same. She'd visited some places, but the Baden Estate she'd always stayed away from. She didn't know why. It wasn't really linked to the Doctor at all, it was just where she'd lived for so long, and the people that mattered from there had been with her all the time. But it had held a spell for her, a strange feeling that the world would cave in if she ever went there. It would be admitting that this was the world she lived in now, the world of the Baden Estate, rather than the world of the Powell Estate. And she'd never been ready to admit defeat on that level. It seemed fitting that the first time she made it there was with these three men, the three who had shared so much with her.

Jack glanced at Rose again. "Rose, if this is too much for you…" he said suddenly, falteringly. Jack unsure of himself… Rose had lived to see this day.

She shook her head. "I'm fine." She had to be, she had to find her daughter.

Jack nodded grimly for a few moments. Then he turned his attention back to Mickey. "Put your foot down, Mickey, let's get this hearse on the road."

Mickey glowered at him in the rearview mirror. Rose had always had a suspicion that her ex-boyfriend disliked Jack with a passion that far surpassed how he felt about the Doctor. In many ways, Mickey had had to accept the Doctor, accept that he'd lost Rose to him and in his own way, he'd come to terms with that. Jack, however, was another matter. Rose had never been able to define even in her own head exactly what her relationship with Jack had been, and she knew it had bugged not only Mickey, but the Doctor too.

"So what's going on?" Mickey asked as they sped past numerous speed cameras. Rose could see him wincing every time one flashed. She really hoped Jack realized that driving at this speed was going to get them into trouble.

Mickey tried again when no one replied. "I asked what's going on. Where's Janie? What's happened?"

Jack glanced between the Doctor and Rose, both silent, both ignoring the question. The Doctor was staring out the window, a look of anxiety painted all over his face making him look graver than he ever had when they'd first met all those years ago. Rose was picking at her nails, still dressed in the same clothes from last night, her make-up long gone now and looking tired and worried. Lost in their own private thoughts.

"It's not good," Jack said finally. "Look, we're nearly there. Keep your foot down."

They pulled up next to the black car Rose had been in only a few hours earlier. Owen was in the driving seat, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, looking a little better than earlier. Gwen was leaning against the car whilst a newcomer, a pretty Japanese woman was still checking information on a small handheld screen. Jack pushed the door back on the van and jumped out.

"We've managed to track her down to a warehouse on the industrial estate," the Japanese woman explained. "That's the last time she was seen on CCTV."

"Time?"

"About forty-five minutes ago."

Rose felt her stomach flip. Forty-five minutes was an eternity, anything could have happened to her little girl. Maybe they were already too late. She glanced at the Doctor, still staring out the window and felt the uncommon urge to shake him. Or maybe it was a common urge, she reasoned, as she thought about all the people he'd left in his wake as he'd carried on through life, hardly noticing what he'd done to them. Maybe all those people would want to shake him, or worse, if they met him again. He hadn't abandoned her, hadn't just walked out of her life without a backward glance like he had with Sarah-Jane. She couldn't blame him for that. But this… she wondered if he knew just how much she wanted him to turn round, how she'd forgive him in an instant if he'd hold her hand tight and tell her he was scared too, terrified, worried sick about their little girl. Unreasonable as it was, she wanted him to love the twins the way she did. And she couldn't forgive him for not being able to.

"Okay." Jack sounded his usual self, she noticed, even faced with all of this. What went on behind that mask of his, what was he hiding? How was he even here? There were so many questions she wanted answering and no one was giving them to her. Not even the big one. What was Janie a sacrifice for?

The door to the van closed again as Jack clambered inside. Rose had entirely missed the rest of his conversation with the others.

"We're going to follow Owen," he announced. "Stay close behind him, you'll need to keep your foot down."

"You keep saying that," Mickey reminded him.

"And you keep ignoring me," Jack retorted. "I mean it this time, Owen's fast. And…" He glanced at Rose briefly and she felt him deliberately lower his voice. "We're running out of time. It's been nearly an hour since she was last seen."

The Doctor moved in his seat and Rose felt her heart soar. Even now, even after his coldness towards her and his light-hearted ways, she'd forgive him, let him off with a yellow card if he'd just say what she was dying to hear him say. Something like he'd once said to her, something to make her believe in him again, believe he cared and that he could do anything.

_His face up on the big screen, looking down on her. Even trapped amongst these monsters Rose felt some of his power reaching her, could almost feel his rough hand in hers, squeezing tight. _

_"No," he said deliberately as the Daleks finished taunting him._

_Rose felt the creatures round her recoil in surprise inside those metal shells. She knew if a Dalek could have gasped, it would have done._

_"Explain yourself."_

_"I said no."_

_"What is the meaning of this negative?" one asked, its horrible iron voice sounding as surprised as it could. _

_"It means, no." The Doctor shrugged. "Because I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, then I'm gonna save the Earth and then, just to finish it all off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky."_

_"But you have no weapons, no defences, no… plan?" Rose couldn't help thinking the Daleks had a very good point. But then she looked up at the screen._

_"No. And doesn't that scare you to death?" He spat at them. "Rose?"_

_"Yes, Doctor?"_

_"I'm coming to get you." And that flash of that stupid idiotic grin on that face that she loved more than life itself made her feel it was alright. _

She'd wished he'd say something like that now, give a grand speech that proved he was the Time Lord of old. She waited as he took a deep breath. Then he let it out. And didn't say a word.


	27. Chapter 26

**17, 500 hits all but now... that is truly crazy, as is 174 reviews. I am so pleased everyone seems to be enjoying this as much as I am. But seriously, if there's anything that doesn't seem right with the writing, characterisation etc, please tell me! **

**I'm afraid I'll have to apologise in advance... this is a Torchwood chapter, no Rose or Doctor, but some Jack, which can't be all bad, we love Jack. **

**I've updated my profile today... I'm very chuffed about that for some reason lol, I enjoyed doing it a lot.. it's like writing a diary or a writers journal (they're awful btw, had to do one for coursework and it was murder!) only fun.**

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**When they pulled up outside the large grey warehouse, Owen gave a great groan. "It's always industrial estates, isn't it, they never like to do these ritualistic killings somewhere more civilized do they?" 

"Owen!" Gwen glared at him.

"What?" Owen glanced at her.

Gwen looked at him pointedly. "Maybe you might want to drop the talk of killings around Rose?" she suggested acerbically. "It is her daughter we're talking about, after all."

Owen felt suitable abashed. "Alright, I was only saying." He looked around at the deserted car park. "Where are they? Do you think we ought to go in on our own?"

"No!" Toshiko exclaimed. "Jack said wait for him."

"But…"

"Owen!" Gwen warned him. "They'll be here any second." She hoped.

"I don't know. That Mickey one isn't exactly the world's speediest driver," Owen muttered. He looked again at the building in front of them. "You know, you'd think it would be a bit more sort of… well, ritually wouldn't you?"

"And what does that mean?" Gwen asked. She was tired of Owen's constant quips and grumbles. Since he'd recovered from his pale episode this morning, he hadn't stopped. He was treating all this like it was a game, just another case. When this time it really wasn't. Gwen hardly knew these people, this Doctor, this Rose, but she knew this all meant something to Jack, and she could feel herself being pulled in, closer and closer. Jack always said she got too involved, but he never took his own advice. She'd seen the look in his eyes the day the Doctor had turned up, the way he'd fallen apart behind that mask he wore when he heard of Rose. This meant the world to Jack, to help his two old friends. And that made it mean the world to her.

"I don't know." Owen shrugged, and seemed about to elaborate on his theory of what exactly "ritually" involved, when the van rumbled into the car park to Gwen's immense relief. It had barely juddered to a halt when Jack had flung the door open and was coming across to them. They all, as one, clambered out of the Land Rover, adjusting their equipment.

"Right, no shooting," Jack instructed them, unnecessarily. It had been the same brief for every civilian case they'd been involved in. "The guns should be ready to use but no one presses their trigger unless absolutely necessary. Did you get that Owen?"

"Yeah, got it, no shooting." Owen nodded.

"Okay." Jack nodded. "I'll go and tell the others." He walked off back to the van and leaned into the vehicle.

Gwen looked down at the gun in her hands. How had she got here? Sometimes she wondered. Guns, aliens, other worlds… Not her life. Not Gwen Cooper's life, or at least, not the old Gwen Cooper.

"Ready?" Owen asked her, suddenly the cockiness gone from his voice. Gwen glanced up quickly enough to see a wave of fear pass over his face, and she felt a rush of… something towards him. It wasn't love, it wasn't sympathy. It was something all together different as she saw the man beneath the teasing and confidence. Just a normal bloke really.

"No." She shook her head, forcing a smile as she admitted the worst. That she wasn't ready, that she would never be ready to go into a building and see God alone knew what. The picture of Janie that they'd taken from the living room, of her in a green dress, a tiara perched on her head, beaming and grinning beside her brother. Gwen couldn't even begin to start imagining what might have happened to that happy smiling girl behind those doors. What might be happening even as they stood there. She'd never be ready to face that.

"No. Me neither," Owen agreed. "Still. Beats a day at the office."

And that was the sick thing, Gwen thought, as she saw Jack crossing the tarmac to rejoin them, fiddling with his gun with confidence. This beat any job, beat anything they could be spending their time doing. For maybe only the second time in her life, she agreed with Owen.

"We all ready?" Jack looked round at the three of them.

"Totally." Owen nodded.

"Sure." Tosh cocked her gun.

"Yep." Lying was so easy. At least, when you did it this often.

"Wonderful. In we go then." Jack nodded at Gwen. "Me and you'll take this door, Owen, Tosh, round the other side. And no shooting."

Gwen kept close to Jack as the others headed round the side of the building. She felt the need to try and make some contact with him, try and let him know that she understood what this meant.

"How's Rose?" she asked gingerly.

"She's fine," Jack answered, as though on auto-pilot. Then he looked down at her and she saw that mask flicker for a millionth of a second. "Actually, she's not doing too good," he admitted.

Gwen nodded. "Well, it's her daughter," she reasoned. She reached out a hand and softly slipped it inside his. She squeezed it tightly. "It'll be okay, Jack, we'll…. We'll do it?" She couldn't help the question in her voice. As much as she wanted to reassure him, as much as she wanted to tell him she'd be there for him no matter what, she couldn't help thinking this time was different. Something was in the air, and she didn't like it.

There was a pause as Jack gazed down at her, with those electric blue eyes that always made her self-conscious and yet made her feel like the luckiest person on the planet at the same time. It felt like he could see the real her underneath it all. Then his face broke out in a smile. "Yeah, it'll be fine," he said, the old Jack mask slipping back into place as he slipped his hand out of hers. "Come on, we need to get in there." He reached the small door in the side of the building. "Right, I'll go in first. You cover me."

He counted to three under his breath and then flung the door open with a loud clatter. Gwen counted the regulation three and followed in, her gun at arm's length, looking round.

"Empty." Owen put his gun down. "For God's sake."

"Shut up!" Jack glowered at him, still looking round, his gun aloft and ready for use. "Did you expect them to just be sitting here in the middle waiting for you or something? Split up, look round. And keep your gun ready," he growled at the other man.

Gwen moved away from the group, trembling slightly, but she wouldn't show it. She took some deep breaths to try and calm herself down. It was just a normal day, nothing special. There wasn't some eighteen-year-old missing, the daughter of two of Jack's best friends. It was just the usual rogue alien on the loose. Her footsteps rang out around the abandoned warehouse, sending up small piles of dust. Tarpaulins were piled in the corner, but by now Gwen was certain nothing was hiding in there; the acoustics didn't sound like anything was in there, the place was too empty and desolate. She wondered if Tosh's equipment was quite up to scratch; maybe the parallel world had scrambled some of the signals. As she moved some of the sheets, she decided that that was probably the problem, technical issues aga…

She couldn't help it. She let out a loud scream and promptly dropped both her torch and the tarpaulin. Her stomach churned ominously and she fought the urge to be sick. She'd seen worse than this, she'd seen much worse, it was just…

"Gwen?" Jack reached her first, concern etched all over his face. He shone his torch in her face, whilst stooping to pick her own torch up. "What is it, what's wrong? What have you found?"

"I'm fine." Gwen couldn't hide her shaking now, and her forced smile was wobbly and faded quickly. "Honestly, I'm fine." She stepped away from the tarpaulin. "It's… under there." She gestured. She watched in grim fascination as Jack lifted the covers again.


	28. Chapter 27

**Winds back a bit in this chapter to a liiiiittle earlier than I left the last chapter... my time line gets even more confusing in Part 2! But we have Rose and Mickey, and the Doctor is there even if he's being a moron.**

**Planned out all the chapters now... there will eventually be 55 chapters + the prologue and epilogue. I'm currently stalling on writing chapter 46... its another weird tricky one, damn it, and I'm currently having a panic about uni work for no reason apart from I'm that sort of person. But it WILL get done, this story WILL be finished. I promise and swear on both my Doctor Who boxsets, my 10th doctor action figure and my Complete Guide to Series One and Two.

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They'd been gone forever. Rose had watched the four of them disappear around the side of the building, guns aloft, and then nothing. No noise, no gunshots, nothing. Jack had told them to wait until he came to get them, wait until it was safe. It was hard though. 

Mickey stared out over the steering wheel. "Torchwood's a bit different these days, isn't it?" he remarked.

Rose was torn between hugging him and hitting him. It was so Mickey to skirt around the big issue, to avoid the subject that was churning through all their minds. But at the same time, at least he was saying something, even if it was trivial and unwanted. At least he was breaking the dreadful silence that had fallen over the van since Jack had rejoined his team. The Doctor was still staring out the window, he'd barely moved, barely even batted an eyelid when Jack left them. Rose wondered what had happened to him, why he was being so distant. When they'd met again, he'd been himself, he'd held her and… It felt like a lifetime ago instead of only last night.

She stood up and leaned on the back of Mickey's seat, looking at the warehouse in front of her. "Yeah, it's different," she agreed.

"Guns and all that. Not exactly our Torchwood is it?"

"No."

Mickey glanced at the Doctor. "How do we even know Janie's in there?"

The Doctor shrugged, but didn't say a word.

Rose frowned and looked between them. "What do you mean? Of course she's in there. Jack said…"

"But how do you know she's been taken at all?" Mickey asked. "Is there not a chance…?" Rose raised her eyebrows and he continued awkwardly. "Well, she was probably in a right state this morning… you know, after you'd…" He tailed off. "All I'm saying is, it wouldn't be unlike Janie to disappear for a few hours in a temper, would it?"

"Not like this," Rose insisted. "This isn't just Janie throwing a strop, this is… this is something else, Mickey, I know it, I can feel it." Her daughter was impetuous and selfish, but she wouldn't just vanish like this without telling anyone, without telling _Jon_ where she was going. That wasn't Janie. And Rose couldn't help thinking about that dream she'd had lately, the recurring one. Where Janie had been dragged away into the darkness, screaming her name, whilst the Doctor pulled in the opposite direction. Taking her away from her baby. She shook her head again. "This is something else."

Mickey nodded. "Okay." He sounded doubtful, like he was holding back on something.

"Mickey, what do you know?" Rose asked, feeling her heartbeat rising. "Do you know where she is?"

"No, I just… she was with this guy last night." Mickey shrugged. "It was nothing, I'm sure, Rose, you know, just her being a teenager and everything."

"What guy?"

Mickey sighed. "I can't remember his name, he was… I don't know, good-looking I suppose, all charm and smiles. Smoked like a chimney. He wasn't good enough for her."

Rose felt a surge of affection for her old friend, and couldn't resist sneaking a glance at the Doctor, watching to see how he reacted to Mickey's protective words. Mickey was as good as a father to Janie, even if her daughter thought he was one of the saddest people she'd ever met. It hadn't always been like that; once upon a time, Janie had even asked Rose if Mickey was her father. But since she'd become a teenager, she'd spent more time mocking "Uncle Mickey" than paying any attention to what he'd said. Still, Mickey adored her, would fight any good-for-nothing low life who touched a hair on her head. _See_, Rose sent telepathic messages to the Doctor, knowing full well he'd never get them. _See, that's what her daddy should be saying. That's what her daddy should be doing._ Not staring out the window of a van, not looking at anyone, not saying anything, not caring whether his daughter was alive or dead.

"I just thought…" Mickey shrugged. "Forget it, it was a silly idea."

Rose smiled and put her hand on his shoulder gently. She couldn't say anything, couldn't think of what to say to him to thank him for what he was saying and doing. To think she'd ever left him behind made tears well up in her eyes again. Life without Mickey… unthinkable.

"They've been gone a long time."

Rose nodded. "Yeah." Too long, this wasn't natural. All she could keep thinking about were those guns, the sunlight glinting off Jack's belt, highlighting the weapon. Something should have happened by now, something…

A scream reverberated around the building in front of them. A scream full of fear and surprise.

Rose was out of the van in seconds, surprising herself with her own reflexes. She was running for the building, a thousand scenarios racing through her mind, when she felt an arm clamp down upon her wrist. She stopped and turned.

"Rose." The Doctor fixed her with those deep brown eyes. "He said not to go in. Not until he came to get us."

Rose wrenched her arm away from him. "I've got to!" she cried. "I can't just…" She gazed at him, the man she loved, the man she'd waited for. Why couldn't he understand, why was he being like this? "I have to go in." She ran away from him, towards the building. Running without him by her side. She felt her heart shatter a little more.

She'd expected to find someone bleeding when she ran into the building, someone in grave danger, someone wielding a gun. But all she saw was the four of them standing round a pile of covers in one corner. Gwen looked pale and was standing with her head hanging down, her hands on her knees as she tried to regain some composure. She looked up as Rose came in.

"I told you to stay in the van!" Jack turned on her.

Rose jutted her jaw out defiantly. "I heard a scream."

Gwen blushed. "Sorry, that was me. I just… had a shock."

Rose looked at where Owen and Toshiko were still investigating something under the covers. Her legs wobbled slightly, and she looked to Jack for some sign of what was going on. It was like… like they'd found a…

"It's not Janie," Jack informed her and Rose felt her muscles relax momentarily. Janie wasn't dead. But she wasn't here either.

"What… what is it?" Rose asked, her voice wobbling.

The door banged open again and Jack tensed, his gun coming up automatically. Rose saw him roll his eyes when Mickey and the Doctor walked in.

"You could knock you know." Jack turned back to Rose. "It's Slitheen. Or, at least, it was… You know what I mean."

Rose knew. Slitheen. Those creatures from the unpronounceable planet twinned with Clom. Those things that were every child's typical alien, green and strange, but far from friendly. She knew what they did.

"Who is it?" she asked hesitantly.

"Male, late teens." Toshiko stood up. "Leather jacket, dark hair. It's hard to tell, just from the…"

"Skin," Rose finished the sentence for her.

"Maybe it was one of Janie's friends," Jack suggested. "Maybe that's how…" He left the sentence dangling, and Rose knew what he wanted from her. He wanted her to step forwards and look under those covers, see that skin with the slit across its forehead and try and identify which one of Janie's friends it was.

She shook her head. "Jack, I can't, I can't do that."

Jack nodded. "Okay." He turned back to Tosh. "We'll take it back to the base, run a search on the database."

"That'll take a long time," Tosh warned him.

"Then it'll have to," Jack snapped. "Owen, get it out of here."

Rose suddenly felt Mickey move next to her. "I'll take a look."

Jack must have been surprised but he didn't show it. He hardly missed a beat before nodding once and stepping aside. "All yours."

Mickey stepped forward and Rose knew it was a hug she wanted to give him. He moved towards where Owen was holding the tarpaulin up for him. He only looked for an instant then he stepped back, his face drawn.

"Rich Stringer," he said in a flat voice. He met Rose's eye. "I've just remembered his name. The guy who wasn't good enough for her."


	29. Chapter 28

**Based on the chapter plan I have at the mo, this should be about the halfway point, which just goes to show how beginning heavy this story is! and how the action is predominantly fixed on the second half! Still, never mind. That's what you get for just writing as you go along etc etc.**

**Erm... oh yeah, I think I want to rewrite my summary for this story, so any ideas, drop me a line!**

**Thanks for all the reviews and hits and favouriting and alerting and other such appreciated stuff. Makes me smile :D**

**

* * *

**Jackie leapt up off where she was perched on the edge of the sofa when she heard the front door open. She didn't need to say a word, one look was all it took. 

"We didn't find her." Rose shook her head, exhaustion suddenly taking over. Still dressed in last night's clothes, she found herself longing for a hot bath and bed. It seemed wrong to even be thinking like that with Janie gone, but she supposed human instinct always won out in the end.

"Then what now?" Jackie looked amongst the faces in front of her. "Who are these two?" she asked, gesturing towards Gwen and Owen.

"My colleagues," Jack replied smoothly. "We're working on finding Janie, Mrs. Tyler, our other colleagues are working on it as we speak." Gwen rolled her eyes as she saw him give Jackie the infamous Harkness smile. Charm personified, that one.

"I'm going to have a bath," Rose announced. Jon was sitting in the living room and looked up when she said that, accusations in his eyes. "I just really need to get changed," she explained, knowing he'd never understand. In the last few hours a wedge had come between her and her son that she feared would never mend. Her beautiful boy, the one she'd always depended on, was gone, replaced by this suspicious young man, who was eying his father with contempt. Fireworks would fly between those two, Rose could just see it. Funny; she'd always assumed that Janie would be the first one to have a fight with the Doctor.

"Take as long as you need, love." Pete stepped in, reminding Rose why she loved her surrogate father so much. Remembering that made her realize that she needed to explain that to Jon too. So many lies.

As she headed upstairs, Pete turned back to the motley crew. "So what's the plan?" He addressed Jack, but the Doctor answered.

"There isn't one," he replied flatly. "No plan, no leads… no traces."

"We should call the police," Jon decided suddenly, standing up and reaching for the phone. The Doctor placed his hand firmly over his son's and disconnected it.

"No police," he said firmly.

"Then what?" Jon demanded, facing him. He was taller than his father now, by a few inches. Anger oozed out of his every pore. "We just give up, forget about her. She's my sister!"

"And my daughter!" The Doctor glared at him. "And I say no police."

Jon gave him a withering look, his eyes moving slowly from head to toe, scrutinizing every inch of the man claiming to be his dad. "Never been much of a father though, have you?" he muttered, before pushing past him and heading upstairs.

"Someone should go after him," Mickey ventured.

"Then why don't you?" The Doctor turned on him. "Why don't you go and play the hero everybody wants?"

Mickey barely flinched; he'd grown used to being trodden on over the years. He held the Doctor's gaze for a few seconds before heading up the stairs after the teenage boy.

Jackie hesitated. "Maybe I ought to…?" She looked to her husband for an idea of where they should go next.

Pete looked at the Doctor, and then round at the others standing in the hallway of his daughter's house. "We'll go home, get things sorted," he decided. When they all looked at him puzzled, he explained. "Well, this place isn't big enough for all of you to stay in, is it? We'll get the spare beds made up." Jackie looked about to protest when Pete gave her a firm look. "Come on, love, lots to do."

As they left the Doctor gave a snort of laughter. "Huh. Finally someone can keep Jackie Tyler in check."

All three pairs of eyes landed on him, with varying degrees of disgust on the corresponding faces. Gwen left the room, followed quickly by Owen. Leaving the Doctor and Jack once again.

"What?" The Doctor looked at his old friend.

"Is all this a joke to you?" Jack asked incredulously.

"No, of course not…" the Doctor backtracked quickly. He sighed. "It's all just so new, it's all…" He shrugged and looked up the stairs. "I suppose I ought to go and check if he's alright."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You really think that's a good idea? After the look he gave you? I'd let him cool off." He couldn't hide the slight smile that crept into his voice. "You don't want a broken jaw to go with that nose, do you?"

The Doctor touched his nose, wincing. "No, I guess not." He sighed heavily again. "Jack, what are we going to do? How are we going to win this one?" He was aware of the role reversal between them, the strange changing of places where he was the one asking advice of Jack for once.

"The Doctor I knew would have known," Jack said softly, then closed his eyes as he realized his mistake. "Sorry, I didn't mean that, I…"

"No, you're right." The Doctor shook his head. "He would have done. But I'm a bit out of practice, a bit…" He shrugged. "So I'm asking."

Jack nodded slowly. "Okay. I've been thinking. And there's only one plan…"

* * *

Upstairs, Rose towel dried her hair and tried to listen to the hushed voices in the next door room. She'd seen both Jon and Mickey disappear into there, and she suspected there'd been some kind of argument between her son and the Doctor. Before she could start dwelling on it all though, there was knock at the door. Gwen poked her head gingerly around the doorframe. 

"I just came to check if you were okay," she said in her quiet gentle way. Rose couldn't help liking this woman who seemed to understand her whilst barely knowing her.

Rose forced a smile. "As okay as I can be. Come in," she encouraged her.

Gwen closed the door behind her. "Sorry to come up, but I had to get out from downstairs. It was all getting a bit testosterony."

"I bet," Rose agreed. "Must happen to you a lot, what with Jack and Owen."

Gwen shrugged. "Off and on." She didn't mention that she usually gave as good as she got, but Rose could imagine. She seemed ballsy, like Rose had once been herself. She wondered what had happened to that part of her, the part that had gone for whatever she thought was right. It had died around the same time as she'd had the twins; more important things had come up than being ballsy.

Rose pulled a comb through her hair and considered her words carefully before she next spoke. "I suppose you think I'm an awful mother."

Gwen looked at her in alarm. "No, no!"

"Leaving my son like I have today… never mentioning who their father was…" Rose shook her head at her own mistakes. "It's just… God, it's been hard." She felt tears welling up in her eyes again, as she thought about how she'd felt in that van today. Part of her had believed Janie was truly only a few minutes from salvation, that Jack and company would destroy the enemy and they'd all laugh about it in years to come. The more cynical half of her had known life was never that simple, that bad things happened to good people. Part of her now believed they were already too late.

Gwen didn't hesitate in putting her arm around the other woman. "I don't think anything like that," she insisted. "Listen, it'll all be fine, Toshiko knows what she's doing, we'll have found Janie by this evening, I'm sure."

Rose sniffed, and smiled. "Thanks, Gwen, but please don't patronize me. I know how these things work. I tried so hard, you know, tried to protect them. But I guess I wasn't good enough in the end."

Gwen rubbed her back. "Rose, don't upset yourself," she advised, knowing how ridiculous it all sounded. "I've seen things like this before, I've seen hopeless situations and there's always hope. Always."

Rose rubbed her eyes. "You sound like the Doctor. Or me, once upon a time." She shook her head. "Anyway, look at me, going on like this. Is Jon alright?"

Gwen pulled a face. "He was the one getting testosterony," she admitted. "You know what teenage boys are like."

Rose sighed. "Don't I just? Is Dad with him?"

"Your mum and dad have gone home, they said to follow them, that we can all stay there until…"

Rose nodded. "Right." She let out a long breath and stood up. "We better get ready then. Is the Doctor okay?"

Gwen hesitated. Would it really benefit Rose to know the truth, that the man she loved had snapped at her son, best friend and quipped about her mother, all at the same time as admitting that he had no plan for saving his daughter's life? She fixed a smile on her face. "He's good, yeah. Getting ready for action."

Rose nodded. "Good." As Gwen headed out the door she called her back. "Gwen?" Gwen paused. "Thanks."

* * *

"You want me to do what?" Rose stared between Jack and the Doctor, unable to believe her ears. "Are you mad? How can I go to work tomorrow when my daughter is missing?" 

"That is a bit much," Gwen agreed, only earning herself a blank look from Jack.

"Rose, believe me if there was any other way…" The Doctor began, his face a picture of pain at putting her through it.

"There must be, so find it!" Mickey launched an attack on his friend's behalf. "You can't seriously expect her to go in and act like nothing's happened?" When neither of the two men in front of them replied immediately, Mickey shook his head. "You're crazy."

"There is no other way," Jack replied firmly, shooting the dissenters a glare. "We need all the information we can get, anything that could help. You might just find the missing piece."

"Can't Tosh do it?" Owen asked awkwardly. "I mean, it's a bit rough, isn't it?"

"Tosh can do as much as our equipment will allow," Jack explained. "But this is a different world, different space, different readings. All our equipment's working on borrowed time. We need your readings."

"Our readings are useless, though," Rose insisted. "They all get filtered out, everyone just ignores it." It was true; anything of any importance nearly always got glossed over in favour of the more exciting and scandalous supposed alien sightings, which always turned out to be a low flying Frisbee or a kid having a laugh at someone's expense. Even the collapse of the star yesterday had, by all accounts, been explained away as 'just one of those things'. Knowing what she knew now, Rose wanted to punch whoever had come up with that diagnosis. "Me going to work would solve nothing, I don't even work on the right department."

"Me neither," Mickey added. "Not since they made it all official. Even Pete's been shunted to one side since the Government took it over."

"That's where we come in," Jack continued.

"Who?"

"Captain Jack Harkness and John Smith, Government Inspectors of Torchwood." Jack grinned before delivering the punchline. "GIT for short."

"Oh dear God." Gwen buried her head in her hands. "That's it, you've actually lost the plot, haven't you? Just gone and lost it. What exactly is 'GIT' going to do?"

"We're going to investigate all the hidden files, all the small print, every single document that could hold any clue to what's been happening in the last few days."

"And how exactly?" Rose looked between them. "It's all password protected, you can only get into the files they want you to. They'll never let you see it all."

"Unless you've…" Mickey's jaw dropped. "The master password. You've got it, haven't you? The universal master password."

"Right. Give the boy a Blue Peter badge." The Doctor nodded, unable to resist the jolly aside and wincing as he said it. "I guess we should add 'good with inappropriate comments' to the list," he said apologetically to Rose, and even she managed a smile as she remembered his excitement that Christmas Day so long ago.

_"See, that's the thing, I'm the Doctor, but beyond that I – I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?" He gave Rose a cheeky wink as he went by, much to Mickey's disgust. "Am I an old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward, a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob."_

It was strange; it was only now she thought about it that she realized he was all those things in one, and so much more.

"But how?" Mickey shook his head incredulously, bringing Rose back into the present. "I've been working on that password for years, on the side. But I never even came close."

"Did you ever have a go, Rose?" the Doctor asked her, and she felt something of the old chemistry between them again, something warming the tips of her toes. His voice was gentler than she'd heard it in the last few hours, more directly talking to her.

She shook her head. "No, why?"

He smiled and nodded. "Figures."

Rose frowned and looked between the two of them in front of her, and glanced at Mickey. "What is it? What's this password?"

"Toshiko found it," Jack said.

Rose raised her eyebrows expectantly.

The Doctor dropped his voice even lower as he spoke again. "Bad Wolf. The password's Bad Wolf."

Rose felt the floor shift underneath her slightly as her eyes locked onto his and she felt the old feelings make themselves known again. The time she'd have done anything for him, the time she'd half-killed herself to save him. _I am the Bad Wolf_.

"You what?" Owen looked utterly lost. "Bad Wolf? What does that even mean? Is this some old private joke of yours, because if you're going to start trading old stories, I'm going to head off and help Tosh."

Rose smiled, silently thinking that, in his own way, Owen was as rude and inappropriate as the Doctor. "It means there's some hope," she said softly, not taking her eyes off the Doctor's face. "It means we can still do something."


	30. Chapter 29

**Mixture of things in this chapter... bit of the Doctor and Rose... bit of Torchwood via Gwen but it's not too indepth so even non-Torchwood-ers should be okay... and then some Gwen and Jon... JON FINALLY GETS TO SAY SOMETHING!!! Hooray for Jon! And the plot thickens... **

**In the next three chapters or so there will be... some action (a little bit)... some Jackie (who we love)... and we learn the truth behind Jack's secret... don't say I don't like to dangle things in front of you!!!**

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* * *

**"Right, remember, you don't know us, we've never met before, you just bumped into us on the way in and we asked you to take us up to see…" Jack's self-confidence faltered as he blanked on a name. 

"Alexander," Rose reminded him. "Alexander McQueen. He's Head of the Observation Team."

"Right." Jack nodded. "Anyway, you don't know-"

"Alexander!" Rose interrupted him, over-brightly greeting her boss as they reached the office. "Just the man we were looking for. I found these two gentleman downstairs, they asked me to show them up to see you."

Alexander looked the two newcomers up and down, and Rose could see him instantly on his guard. "Er, right. So, um, what did you want me for?"

"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack launched straight in. "And this is my partner, Doctor John Smith. We're from GIT, we're doing the usual audit, you know, just checking how it's all going."

"Oh," Alexander's eyes flickered around Jack's body, searching for some form of ID. "No one called ahead and mentioned it."

"New regulations, spot checks, all of that." Jack gave a mock sigh, that Rose had to bite her lip at to stop the giggles. "Democracy gone mad."

"Indeed." Alexander nodded, smiling. They were on familiar territory; he was always lamenting the state the world had got into. "Well, thank you, Rose, for showing Captain Harkness and Doctor Smith up, now if you'd like to join the team in the briefing room…"

"I thought I could show them to the office first," Rose said quickly, and before Alexander could protest, both Jack and the Doctor had nodded.

"Well then, you better do that." Alexander pursed his lips. "I'll see you in a few minutes. If there's anything I can do…"

"We'll keep you in mind." Jack smiled at him. "So nice to meet you." When they were only a few paces away he exclaimed in a hushed voice, "Name badges? You have name badges? What kind of secret organization is this? And is he always like that?"

"Always. At least when he thinks his job is on the line." Rose pushed the door to the office open. "Here we are then. Now please try and keep a low a profile, no gun fights or anything weird… this lot'll be on you before you can say Time and Relative Dimensions in Space."

"Best behaviour." Jack saluted her.

"Good." Rose breathed a sigh of relief. She hesitated. "I guess I better get into that meeting then."

"Yep." Jack nodded, already setting to work on the computer.

The Doctor reached over and took her hand gently. "We'll find her," he said gently. "Promise you."

Rose smiled weakly. "You better," she whispered, before heading for the most important briefing of her life.

* * *

Gwen half-wished she'd gone with Owen back to the Baden Estate today, to help Tosh with the rest of her investigations. The Tyler mansion was echoey now everyone had left, all except Jackie and Jon, who were keeping themselves very much to themselves. Worse than being left alone, was when Jackie tried to make awkward conversation with her, over a nice cup of tea. It wasn't that Gwen didn't like her, it was just she didn't know where to begin talking to this woman. Since joining Torchwood, Gwen had found herself becoming more and more distanced from normal everyday life like this; the only person she could talk to anymore was Owen, and even that was laced with sexual innuendo and tension. Rose had been a surprise. Jack had been talking of her for weeks with starry eyes, and Gwen had been all ready to irrationally hate her. Only when she met her, she'd found someone like herself, out of her depth and terrified, though putting up the bravest of brave faces. Maybe Rose could be the friend she desperately needed. But Rose had other things on her mind, and Gwen could hardly expect her to listen to her own sorry tale of too many men. 

It would have been so much easier if she could have forgotten the pain in the house and just gone and done her real job. But Gwen wasn't like that, she couldn't divorce herself from people like the others usually could. That poor boy left behind in the house, his world shattered. She couldn't just abandon Jon like everyone else had. So she'd stayed behind when everyone else left, hoping she could be of some use.

Pete returned from work at lunch time to take Jackie shopping.

"We can't all live off air, Jaks, can we?" he'd said, smiling awkwardly, and making eye contact with Gwen and not his wife. "We need to get some stuff in."

"Don't worry about us," Gwen insisted. She couldn't bear to think of the couple wandering round a soulless supermarket full bright lights and two-for-one offers, shopping for food to feed the people who had been the advent of their grand-daughter's disappearance. "We'll be fine, we can-"

"Don't be silly." Jackie shook her head. "We'll head out, leave you by yourself for a bit." Then she gazed up the stairs.

"I think we can leave Jon," Pete decided, already heading for the door. "Make yourself at home, Gwen, do whatever you like. You know where the kettle is and things?"

"Sure." Gwen nodded. "Have a nice time." She bit her tongue as soon as the door closed behind them. Nice one, as if they could have a nice time anywhere.

The house was gorgeous, a real one off. Gwen had never heard the story of Pete Tyler, businessman extraordinaire, but just from looking round she gathered that he earned a pretty packet. The hallway was a masterpiece of Regency style, with a sweeping staircase and a marble floor. She could imagine parties and balls being held almost weekly if they weren't here. Her mind wandered; she loved parties and balls. Rhys hated putting on a tuxedo and accompanying her to anything. She'd had to twist his arm almost literally to get him to attend the police Christmas ball with her a few years ago. She knew one thing he liked about her new job in 'special ops' was that they didn't have any social gatherings on such a formal scale. Though he was still dubious about the whole thing.

"You don't have any dinners?" he'd asked not so long ago. "Not even for Christmas or New Year or anything?"

"No. They're sort of… quiet sort of people." An adjective not usually associated with most of Torchwood. "They don't like fuss, you know?"

It was true; Torchwood wasn't that sort of job. There were so few of them that a formal dinner would have seemed pathetic and lonely. A drink after work occasionally was as far as it ever went. Apart from with Owen of course. Gwen tried to push him out of her mind. After their disappointment at the warehouse yesterday, he'd come into her room in the evening, his hands in his pockets, sidling in against the wall in a way she knew so well.

"Bad day."

She nodded in reply, as she brushed her hair. "Yep."

"Really bad."

"Yes."

"Don't suppose you really fancy being alone tonight, do you? You know, strange bed, strange house…"

"Strange universe?" Gwen's voice was laced with arsnic. "Twenty-four hours in, I'm coping."

Owen frowned and sat down next to her on the bed. "Come on, Gwen, don't be like this. You know I only want to-"

"Want to what, Owen?" Gwen faced him, her eyes blazing with barely contained anger. "Want to comfort me? Look after me? Well offering me sex isn't the way, alright?"

"Okay." Owen held his hands up in mock surrender. "No need to shout."

"Owen, do you realize what happened today?" Gwen asked in disbelief. "It isn't some game, this isn't some awful thing that's happening to other people whose lives we dip in and out and can go home from at the end of the day. This is real, this is now. Jack's friends… they've just lost their daughter. Does that mean anything to you?"

Owen stood up, his back hunched and his face not betraying any emotion. "Obviously not," he replied flatly, before leaving the room.

Gwen regretted being so cold towards him. Owen had been there for her so many times, saved her life on more than one occasion. He didn't deserve to be pushed away like that. But coming here had changed things for her. This had brought everything home to her properly. This wasn't so much about Janie, the daughter of their friends, going missing, but about what Rose and the Doctor had. The way Rose looked across at him, the way he was always on her mind. That moment between the two of them downstairs when everything had seemed to change. Gwen knew that would never happen between her and Owen, and she felt awful about it. If Rose could keep that faith and love alive for nearly twenty years when she never saw him, why did Gwen find it so hard to keep what she felt for any guy alive more than ten minutes after she'd seen him? Owen had been a hideous mistake, she could see that now. They'd been so misguided and lost, they'd thought they'd found something special in each others' arms. Only all they'd found was more complications, more agonizing decisions. Gwen couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to look Rhys in the eye. It was all bringing her to one big conclusion: this wasn't her life.

"Has Gran gone out?" Gwen was jerked out of her reverie by Jon's sudden appearance in the kitchen. He had red eyes and his clothes looked slept in. She decided not to comment on that though; no teenage boy wanted a virtual stranger asking about things like that.

"Yeah, her and your Granddad have gone shopping." Gwen hesitated, realizing how callous that sounded. "For milk and stuff, you know. Coffee?" She gestured towards the just brewed pot.

Jon pulled a face. "No, you're okay. It must be an acquired taste, Mum drinks that stuff by the ton."

"Not a fan?" Gwen asked, smiling.

"No. I prefer tea." Jon leaned against the counter awkwardly, putting his hands in his jeans pockets. "So, have you been left to babysit me?"

Gwen swallowed her steaming mouthful of coffee too fast and spluttered slightly as she replied. "No! No, nothing like that. Your mum's gone to work, like she agreed last night, so's Jack and…" She tailed off, biting her lip.

"The Doctor."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, the Doctor." If the kid wasn't ready to call him Dad, she wasn't going to argue. "And Owen's gone back to our base to help hunt for Janie."

Jon nodded. "Nothing as yet then?"

"No. Not yet." Gwen watched him carefully as he ran his finger along the worktop, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. She was having to fight against her instincts here; everything in her was telling her to throw her arms around this young boy and hug him, and tell him everything would be alright. Eventually, she spoke again. "Jon, do you have any idea about what's happened?"

Jon looked at her in surprise. "Me? What would I know?"

Gwen shrugged. "More than me? I mean, you are half-Time Lord after all."

"Yeah, which I only found out yesterday." Jon snorted, shaking his head. "It doesn't make me suddenly master of the universe. I'm not even sure what it means."

"No," Gwen agreed. "But you know your sister."

"Sort of," Jon replied guardedly.

"Didn't she have any warning of this?"

Jon shrugged. "Who knows? Janie can be pretty secretive when she wants to be."

"But didn't she mention anything to you?" Gwen persisted. "Dreams or anything?"

Jon hesitated and frowned. "No, why? You think she _knew_ this was going to happen?"

Gwen shook her head hastily. "No, I wouldn't say that, only…" She was unsure how far to go. Jon knew nothing of his father's side of the family apart from that he was a Time Lord. He probably had no idea of what it entailed, what powers his dad had at his fingertips. It was possible, she supposed, that any powers either of the twins had inherited had been so diluted that they were easily ignored. But maybe, just maybe, the key to it all would be here, in this house, locked inside Jon's head where no one had even thought about looking. Too caught up with technical wizardry and infiltrating special organizations with secret passwords, they'd all overlooked the closest portal to Janie.

"Jon, if you know anything that could help, anything at all, you should tell us."

Jon looked dubious. "Like what?"

"Anything." Gwen was clutching at straws. "Did she say anything before she went missing, give you any clue as to what she was thinking about?" When Jon still didn't answer she added, "Jon, you might just be able to find her."

Finally he spoke. "She keeps a diary."

Bingo.

* * *

"She'll kill us if she finds out." Jon warned Gwen as, half an hour later, they began working their way across his sister's room. 

"If she ever finds out," Gwen replied. She didn't add that, unless they found that diary, she'd probably never find out to kill them. Even now it could be too late. Still, no need to go worrying Jon about that.

Jon half-heartedly picked a few clothes up off the floor. "I don't know where she keeps it. I'm not even sure if she still writes in it, I mean, she used to, when she was younger, but…"

Gwen paused in her hunting to turn to the boy and put her hands on his shoulders. In his eyes she could suddenly see how frightened he was, that all this negativity was his way of coping with what he was faced with.

"Jon, listen to me," she said slowly. "It doesn't matter, we just need to find it." Jon looked uncomfortable in her hold and she released him almost instantly and turned back to the mess in front of her. "Your sister's a bit of a mess, isn't she?"

"Just a bit," Jon agreed. It seemed her pep talk had worked as he began throwing clothes aside. Gwen had to admire his energy, but she was pretty sure that even a girl as untidy and downright disgusting as Janie seemed to be wouldn't leave a diary full of her most intimate confessions and secrets just lying on the floor, buried under a pile of clothes or not. Clambering across the bed she felt down the side. Her fingers came into contact with a hard thin shape. She pulled her torch out of her pocket and shone it down into the gap.

"Jon, it's here!" she called, excitement creeping into her voice involuntarily. She wriggled her arm around. "I can't reach it though, we'll have to move the bed. How thin is Janie?" she exclaimed, as she pulled her hand out with a wince as her knuckles were grazed.

"Very." Jon moved the bed with barely any help from her. The book slid down the wall and hit the ground with a thump. Gwen leaned in and retrieved it.

It was a plain book, just a cheap hardback notebook really, nothing special about it. Gwen turned it over in her hands. It was only now she was feeling a bit bad about all of this; she was actually going to read this girl's diary. She looked at Jon. "Do you want to do it?"

He shook his head. "It might be better if you do. You don't know her."

That was certainly true. Gwen took a deep breath and opened the book. She skim read down the first few pages. Rants about friends and boys and her mother featured heavily, punctuated by huge strokes and black dots.

"Certainly very emotive," she remarked, as she turned the page again. There was a wealth of information here, she could almost feel Janie reaching out and touching her. It was like she'd been given a direct insight into her thoughts. But she had to concentrate and filter out the mundane normal stuff. She flicked through the pages until she reached a date roughly two weeks ago. What she read made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

_**Had that dream again last night, only this time it was even more vivid. I was in darkness and I could hear Mum talking in the background, only not to me. Then a bright light shone and I could see I was in some sort of park, but it was night time. There was a big lake behind me. My arms were being held by something, or maybe things, but I couldn't turn my head to look. All I could do was look forwards and all I could was Mum, staring at me, crying, and a strange man beside her. He was tall and had brown hair and seemed to be talking to whatever was holding me. Everything was a bit vague though, I couldn't hear anything properly. Then there was a gust of wind, so strong it knocked me off my feet and pulled me backwards towards the lake. I heard Mum scream and move towards me, but it didn't stop me blowing away from her. The light got fainter and fainter until it was only a dot and then it disappeared all together. Then I woke up. **_

Gwen folded the corner of the page down.

"Is that important?" Jon asked, clearly dying to know what it said but not daring to touch his sister's diary.

Gwen met his eyes slowly and nodded. "Yeah, I think so. Come on, we need to call the others."


	31. Chapter 30

**Another update! I keep promising myself I won't update so quickly seeing as I'm still struggling with chapter 47 (though I might end up splitting that chapter in half, otherwise it's gonna be reeeeeeaaaallly long), but then you all review so nicely and I think you deserve for me to be on the ball and updating soon etc etc. It's annoying when people don't update for aaaaaaaaaages and you want to know what happens. **

**Erm, do I have any exciting insights? Oh, a number of people have remarked on the fact that no one ever told Jon he was a Time Lord and that in the last chapter he suddenly knew... I know, I know, appalling plotting on my behalf and a pretty major gap in the story that I _should_ have noted and stuff... I can only apologise. I kinda forgot that, I thought maybe he'd just sort of inferred cause of Rose saying Janie was the last Time Lord etc... but there should have been a scene where he learnt about and I even think there _was_ originally in my original mental plan. In fact, I'm fairly sure it was a key scene but then the plot changed slightly... initially the Doctor was going to turn up at Rose's house, and they wouldn't notice Janie was missing till later and then when they did find out she was missing, Jon and the Doctor were going to have a row about calling the police or not calling the police... and I think it was _then_ that he was going to find out exactly who and what his dad was. But that got dropped as the plot changed to encorporate Jack and the Torchwood team, and as the plot involving Janie altered and I became more sure about what was going on.**

**Anyway, to sum up, even though it's a huge mistake and a pretty major missing plot point... Jon knows the Doctor is a Time Lord and that he's part-Time Lord. Now I shall go and hang my head in shame and agonise over stupid chapter 47 again.**

**(Oh yeah, and there's two extracts in this one, from The Parting of the Ways and Doomsday, both by Russell T Davies who I worship at the feet of.)**

**

* * *

**They'd worked in silence all morning, feverishly typing away at their keyboards. It was gone one o'clock; the Doctor finally broke the silence. 

"Have you had any luck?"

Jack sighed heavily and sat back in his chair. "No. You?"

"No." The Doctor hated admitting defeat but even with the Bad Wolf password, this database was a joke. Rose hadn't been kidding when she said that this Torchwood was hopeless when it came to important things. She was wasted on this place. The usual stab of anger erupted within him as he thought about what could have been if it wasn't for that day so long ago.

"I've got a few files left to check," Jack stretched noisily. "For all the good it would do. Is it just me or is everything-"

"Jack!" The Doctor warned him quickly. "Rose said to keep a low profile. Swearing isn't exactly doing that is it?"

Jack supposed not and he pressed a few more buttons on the keyboard. The computer creaked ominously as it struggled to deal with his request. "Heap of junk." He kicked it, and it barely even noticed. He swung round in his chair to face the Doctor. "So… find out anything?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Nothing. Absolutely zilch, nada, zero, nowt..." He sighed. "I hope your equipment's faring better than this."

Jack nodded grimly. "Me too." He stood up and walked towards the door in the tiny office and gazed out across the floor. A smile crept across his face.

The Doctor frowned. "What?"

Jack beckoned him towards the small square window. The Doctor looked out across the floor, with the neat workstations hoarded together, people tapping away at keyboards on the completely redundant computer system. He wanted to go out there and tell them to stop, they were all wasting their time; the alien threat had come, it was here, living amongst them, taking their children… He focused back on where Jack was looking.

Rose. Sitting in silence, ignoring the friendly jibes and lively office conversation around her. The sun streamed in between the badly hanging blinds, casting shadows across her face, but highlighting her golden hair. Her brow was furrowed slightly in concentration, revealing lines that had never been there back when she traveled with him. Over the last few days, he'd found himself gazing at her intently, sometimes seeing the girl he'd left behind, unchanged, and then other times seeing a complete stranger, a woman he hardly knew. Now, as he looked at her hard at work, trying desperately to find her daughter, to make these stupid observations mean something, he realized she was both those things. There was so much he didn't know about this Rose Tyler, but so much he did. And what he didn't know, he wanted to find out.

"Our girl." Jack spoke with a sentimentality that was rare to him, and the Doctor remembered how the Time Agent had always been at Rose's beck and call, had worried as much as he had about her safety. He remembered the things he'd said about her, the way he'd known exactly how the Doctor felt.

"_Do you see, Jack? That's the decision I've got make for every living thing. Die as a human or live as a Dalek." He appealed to the image flickering on the screen in front of him, his last friend left now that he'd sent her away. "What would you do?"_

_Jack hardly missed a beat. "You sent her home. She's safe. Keep working."_

She was the important one in both their lives. But now wasn't the time for gazing at her, still beautiful after all this time and all the worries life had thrown at her. Now wasn't the time for getting misty-eyed and waxing lyrical about the past and how proud they both were of her.

Jack's earpiece crackled, breaking their reverie.

"Gwen, what is it?" He was instantly all action, ready for anything.

"Jack, I've found something. I really think it's important, you should come back and take a look."

"What is it?" Jack was reluctant to leave this golden opportunity of snooping the Torchwood archives. He was two folders away from completing his scan; what if the answer was lying in one of them?

"Janie's diary. She's talking about dreams and all sorts in it, I think you need to see it."

Jack met the Doctor's eye. The Doctor nodded. Dreams… very Time Lord-y. If she'd mentioned feelings and senses, all the better.

"We'll get there as soon as we can," Jack replied eventually. "Have you called Owen and Tosh yet?"

"They're coming to pick you up."

Jack smiled wryly. "Think you know me so well don't you?"

There was a pause. "No. No I don't." Gwen ended the call almost immediately, leaving Jack momentarily bewildered. Then he recovered himself and turned to the Doctor.

"Right, I guess we better get going then." He looked out the window again as he pulled his military jacket on. He sighed as he saw Rose relaxing into her chair ever so slightly as she read a document on the computer intently. It was the most at ease he'd seen her since he'd barged into the house two days ago. It seemed a shame to disturb her.

"She'd kill us if we left her out," the Doctor remarked. He too felt she could do with a break, but he wanted her there when they found Janie, he needed her by his side.

"I know." Jack nodded agreement. "I know."

* * *

Rose ran her fingers down the page in front of her, absolutely amazed. "I never even knew she kept a diary," she admitted, feeling bad for not knowing her daughter better. "How long as she done this for?" 

Jon shrugged. "Always."

"I had no idea." Rose shook her head.

Jackie took the book off of her and read the page she had open. She gave a gasp of shock. "Have you seen what she did with this boy, Rose? She-"

"Jackie, some perspective, please!" The Doctor exclaimed. He rolled his eyes. "What's this dream she's written down?"

"I photocopied it for you all." Gwen handed out copies of the page, much to Owen's amusement. She caught the grin on his face. "Is something funny?" she demanded.

"No, no, not at all." Owen studied the page intently, stifling the smile. "So which bit are we looking at?"

The Doctor had already read it though, his face turning paler by the second. Rose looked up and caught his look.

"Doctor?" she prompted him, wanting to know the worst. He met her eye and something passed between them again. It was strange; in between these moments she found herself staring at him like he'd become a stranger, but right this second, she felt so connected to him, like she was able to see straight into his mind in a way she never had before. Now she was begging him to tell her the truth, tell her what was going on. _I can handle it; don't shut me out_.

There was a pause as he regarded her then he turned away and moved over to the window, as though to study the writing again by daylight. Then he removed his glasses and put them in his pocket.

"Right, seems simple enough then. Whatever they want with her, whoever has her has taken her to a park somewhere and one night they're going to try and do something to her." He nodded, half to himself.

Jack raised his eyebrows from where he was perched on the arm of the sofa. "Could you be any clearer?" he asked.

"Nope. That's it, that's as much as I'm getting. Anyone else?" The Doctor looked round the room wildly, challenging everyone to step up and add anything they had. Owen studied the ground intently. Gwen's eyes dropped back to her sheaf of papers. Jack busied himself playing with his lighter. Tosh fidgeted anxiously, whilst even Rose let her long hair fall across her face like a curtain. Only Jon held his gaze.

"Can't you find anything else out?" he demanded. "I mean, which park, which night, _what's got her_?"

The Doctor looked at him, his son, for a few seconds, before letting a grin spread across his face. "Yes I can! Come on, we're going to the TARDIS, I'll run it by the old girl again. She's had a few days to recover, she should be back up in working order again now. If you go back to work, Rose-"

"I will not!" Rose flashed her eyes defiantly at him and stood up, removing her name badge as she did so and throwing it onto the coffee table. "I'm coming with you."

The Doctor pulled a face. "Rose, maybe your system could-"

"Our system's crap, and you know that!" Rose glowered at him. "So I'm coming with you." She relented slightly when she saw him still looking anxious. "I'll text Mickey. Maybe he can take a look."

The Doctor hesitated before nodding. "Right, okay, that's me and Rose… Tosh, have you found out anything more about this legend?"

Tosh shook her head. "Nothing. It's ancient, pre-historic." She rifled through the papers she had on her. "I mean, it says it comes from before time, but that's-"

"Impossible?" The Doctor interrupted, his face drawn and serious. "Yeah, you'd think that. Still, you live and learn. Try the internet, search for parks, specific ritual dates, anything that could help. Gwen, try reading the rest of that diary, see if you can glean anything else from it."

Gwen looked uneasy. "I don't know, it's her diary, her personal stuff, I'm not sure if I should."

The Doctor fixed her with a firm look. "Gwen, if you don't, she won't have a chance to thank you for respecting her privacy." He saw everyone look aghast at his statement, and recovered himself a little. "She'll thank you for it, one day."

Gwen nodded in reply.

"Jack, what sort of weapons have you got?" The Doctor turned to the Captain. "And in what sort of order?"

"All working." Jack nodded.

"Brilliant. Where are they?"

"There's some in the car," Owen volunteered. "And there's some back at the base, do you want me to go and get them?"

The Doctor nodded. "Right, we're all sorted then, everyone know what they're doing? Great, excellent, good work, let's get going."

"What's the rush?" Jackie asked, as they all began stirring. "You said some night, why the urgency?"

The Doctor looked at Rose and she bit her lip. She could read plainly in his eyes what he was thinking. _After everything that's happened, after all this time, your mother still doesn't get it, does she?_

"It's better to be prepared, Mum," Rose explained lightly.

Jackie frowned. "Prepared for what? You're talking about weapons and all sorts, I thought you said these things were harmless?" Her eyes darted between Rose and the Doctor, and Rose felt her cheeks flush, giving the game away. "Rose?" She didn't reply. "You don't even know what's got her, do you? You haven't a clue where Janie is, or what's got her or anything, have you?" Her hand flew over her mouth. "Oh my God!"

"Jackie, listen to me." The Doctor leaned in towards her. "We'll sort it, okay, Janie will be fine, we're on it, we're dealing with it." He leaned in closer. "I'll bring her home. I promise."

"What, just like you did all those times with Rose?" Jackie asked, her voice thick with tears.

"Did I ever let you down?"

Jackie looked up at him and remembered that time, that very last time, trapped in that building with those metal men, her daughter in some unknown part of the tower block.

_"What's down there? She was in that room with the sphere!" Jackie looked at him imploringly, desperate for him to respond. "What's happened to Rose?"_

_Leaning against the wall, he practically spat the words out. "I don't know."_

_Jackie was unable to hold her sobs back any longer; she knew pain, she knew loss. Pete had gone so many years ago, and she'd said goodbye to Rose so many times. But this was different, it all suddenly felt very real to her. And she was scared, really scared._

_She felt the Doctor move closer, and his voice had changed. There was urgency there, there was his usual arrogance, but there was something else, something she'd heard before but never this raw._

_"I'll find her. I brought you here. I'll get you _both_ out. You and your daughter. Jackie, look at me." She didn't. "_Look at me," _he repeated. She looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks and looked into the eyes of the man her daughter loved. "I promise you. I give you my word."_

Now, she looked into that same face, unchanged after all this time. She looked over his shoulder to see her daughter, Rose, hurting but healthy and here and alive.

"No. You never let me down." Jackie stood up, wiping a tear away. She nodded to Rose. "Go on. Get going."

Rose turned to leave the room too quickly to see what passed between her mother and the Doctor next. Jackie reached out and caught his hand.

"Take care."

The Doctor looked at her, realizing she hadn't, for the first time, said _of her_. He smiled and squeezed her hand. "I always do."

* * *

**Next chapter... Jack and Rose talk...**


	32. Chapter 31

**Okay, so I'm still struggling with the last bits of chapter 47, but I'm sure it'll come together sometime soon. And then I'm moving on to the bits of my story that have been planned out since the very beginning really, and where many of the ideas came from for the whole thing. Wooo.**

**Just to make something clear about this chapter: in no way am I at all being anti-Welsh. I love Wales, one of the best weekends of my life was spent in a small hut in the back of beyond in North Wales. So don't sue me or be annoyed by what they say in this chapter. Wales is lovely and the Welsh accent is one of my faves :D**

**And if you find this chapter dull... well, the next one isn't so much. Can't promise much more than that.**

**

* * *

**Jack paced up and down the console room restlessly. He should have gone with Owen, he should be preparing the troops. There was so much to do and so little time… but he wanted to come here again. Part of him wanted so much for it just to be the three of them again, against the world, no matter what. It was stupid, but he was letting his heart rule his head again. He just wanted to be close by the two of them. 

"How's it going?" Rose leaned over the Doctor's shoulder, as he punched information into the TARDIS at lightning speed. "Has she found anything?"

"Not as yet." The Doctor stepped away. "She's working on it though, she shouldn't be too long." He put his hands into his pockets, as he regarded the screen. "I should check the library really, see if there's any mention of this legend there."

Jack looked up. "Library? You have a library?"

"Well duh, Jack." The Doctor rolled his eyes, and turned to Rose. "I'm going to go and check it out. Stay here and give me a yell when she finds something."

"Right." Rose nodded, as he hurried down a corridor, glasses perched firmly on his head and his jaw set determinedly. She sat down in the chair. "I guess there's nothing else for us to do then."

"No." Jack nodded. Again, he felt he shouldn't be here. There was nothing he could do here, nothing he could say to help. He'd be far better off back at the base with Owen, getting the ammunition ready and making sure they had the right weapons. They should have brought more with them, he realized with a sinking heart. They'd left so much back in Cardiff, back in their own world, and he had a horrible fear that they might need them.

"You've still never explained how you got here," Rose reminded him, interrupting his thoughts. She raised her eyebrows and patted the space on the seat next to her. "Come on. The TARDIS is never as quick as he says it is, and he'll be hours back there. Might as well kill some time."

Jack sat down next to her awkwardly at first. "There's not much to tell. You know how it is."

Rose smiled wryly. "Nope, I'm not exactly up to date with all this time-hopping thing actually. Funny how out of practice you can get in eighteen years." She was unable to keep a wistful tone out of her voice.

Jack nudged her. "Hey, you're not doing too bad. You're at least able to keep up with _him_" with a jerk of his head after the Doctor, "which can't be a bad sign."

Rose laughed. "I guess. He sort of…" Her voice grew quieter and her face became graver. "He sort of makes me forget the last eighteen years have ever happened. Like I was never stuck here without him, like nothing's happened in between." Jack saw flashes of fear dart across her face as she swallowed hard.

He reached out and trapped her hand gently between his. She looked up and he saw her blink tears away again. He wasn't really sure what to say, what he could say. What she was feeling and going through was beyond his experience, and he suspected it always would be. Rose, his girl, his best friend, the little girl he'd danced with all that time ago was gone, replaced by this mature serious woman. She'd overtaken him and he was finding it hard to reconnect with the Rose he knew.

She forced a smile now and shook her head, extracting her hand from between his and clearing her throat. "Anyway. This was supposed to be about you and you got here."

Jack let out a long breath, stalling for time. He didn't know why he was making such a fuss over this, it wasn't like it was some big secret. "We just sort of… drove really fast at the Rift."

"The Rift? Like, the Cardiff Rift?"

Jack nodded. "Sort of. It's spreading, it was more out in the country. Anyway, it was sort of a case of foot to the floor and hope for the best."

"So where did you come out?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Where else?"

"Cardiff?" Rose suggested, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh yes." They shared a smile.

"Always Cardiff isn't it?" Rose remarked. "Do you go there often? Is there much call for Torchwood down there?"

Jack blushed slightly. "Actually, we're sort of… based there." He resisted turning to look at Rose's reaction.

He heard her stifle a giggle. "Oh. That's… nice."

Finally he had to admit defeat and look at her. She couldn't hold it back any longer and exploded into laughter. He gave her a good-natured grin even as he began defending himself. "Go on then, laugh, but I'll have you know it's a very nice place really, very…" He struggled to find the right adjective.

"Welsh?"

He had to laugh too now. "Yes, very Welsh."

Rose recovered herself enough to ask some more intelligent questions. "I suppose the Rift keeps you busy, though. It used to keep us busy enough."

"Pretty busy," Jack agreed. He decided not to mention that the Torchwood team themselves managed to complicate things even further. There would be plenty of time to explain about Susie, and Ianto and Lisa, and even Gwen and Owen, when they found Janie. He didn't want to burden her with anything else right this second in time. Especially not about Gwen.

Rose frowned. "You know what I still don't get though? How did you get off the Gamestation? How did you…?" She bit her lip anxiously, and looked across at him.

"Resurrect myself?" Jack filled in the blanks. "I don't know." He too frowned. He knew the Doctor had promised he'd tell him everything about that, explain what had happened up there, when this was all over. Now they seemed so close, Jack knew he should hold on a little longer, but he couldn't. It was all colliding inside his head like clouds in a storm, and he could barely think straight. He was sure he could figure it out himself, it all felt so near and yet so so far. Like a jigsaw with one piece wrong that no matter how hard he forced it, it just wouldn't go in. Something was wrong and he couldn't quite work out what.

"Well, can't the Doctor help?" Rose asked perfectly innocently. "He tends to know everything, much as I hate to admit it. Maybe he could help you work it out. I'm sure the TARDIS would help too."

Jack remembered something the Doctor had said just yesterday as they stood in Rose's living room. He'd been so angry with him, for the way he was treating Rose, that he'd virtually ignored it at the time. But it had obviously lodged somewhere in his mind, to be taken out on such an occasion at this. _I'll tell you what happened, I'll tell you everything. Both of you._

_Both of you_.

He met Rose's eye again. "I've already asked him. He said he'd tell me."

Rose's eyes widened in astonishment. "You mean he knows?"

Jack nodded. "He said he'd tell me. He'd tell _us_."

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but then Rose's face took on a look of bewilderment. "Us? Me and you? But… what have I got to do with it?"

"She still not finished?" The Doctor strolled back into the console room, his hands firmly planted in his pockets. "Still not feeling yourself, are you? The library was useless, no wonder kids have stopped reading these days." He suddenly realized the two of them were staring at him and he looked between them quickly. "What? What is it? Have I got ink on my face or something?" He ran a hand over his chin quickly.

"I was just telling Rose," Jack explained, "about how you're going to tell me what happened to me on the Gamestation."

The Doctor flinched ever so slightly, but disguised it pretty well. "There's a time and a place, Jack," was his only reply.

"About how you're going to tell _us_," Rose added suddenly, taking the Doctor by surprise. She raised her eyebrows challengingly.

The Doctor fiddled with his collar anxiously. "Rose, now's not really the time," he began to protest.

"I think now's the perfect time," Rose insisted. "The TARDIS isn't showing much sign of finishing soon. Why not now?"

The Doctor turned to Jack. "Jack, you can't be serious. Not now."

"Deadly serious," Jack replied. He couldn't explain why, but he felt so angry right then that if he hadn't shoved his hands into his pockets, he was sure he would have punched the Doctor flat out. It was just as well he was resisting; once in forty-eight hours is enough for any man. Or Time Lord. But he couldn't resist from taunting him in a voice dripping with acid. "So come on, _Doctor_. Why don't you tell me and Rose, right here, right now, why Captain Jack Harkness can't die?"


	33. Chapter 32

**Oh yes, it's explanation time! These are my thoughts on the big secret of Captain Jack Harkness. I'll let it mostly speak for itself. Just to say that there's a big extract from The Parting of the Ways**

**

* * *

**Rose turned quickly to look at Jack. "What?" 

Jack shifted his weight awkwardly. "I kind of… can't die."

Rose turned back to look at the Doctor. "What's he talking about? Did you know this?"

The Doctor pulled a face and leaned on the console panel. "I didn't want to do this now, Jack."

"What's wrong with now?" Rose demanded, standing up, her cheeks turning red as blood rushed to her face in her sudden temper. "Jack says you're going to tell us the truth, not him, _us_. What's this got to do with me?"

"Rose, forget it, I'll explain later." The Doctor tried his best to divert the attention, but Rose wouldn't let it drop.

"No, I want to know now!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him round to face her again. "Did you know Jack was still alive?" A sudden horrid thought hit her and she looked at her old friend in horror. "Did you… did you know and leave him behind?"

"No!" The Doctor protested. "I had no idea, Rose, Jack…" He appealed to both of them. "I swear."

"But you've said yourself, the regeneration, it messed with your mind, you didn't know what you were doing all the time. You couldn't even fly the TARDIS straight!" Rose began panicking. "Maybe it slipped your mind maybe the old you knew and then you…"

The Doctor smiled, much to her disgust. "Rose, even I can admit that not being able to fly the TARDIS straight isn't exactly an unusual occurrence for me," he said, and was relieved to see a slight smile cross not only her face, but Jack's too. "When we left the Gamestation, I had no idea that Jack was still alive. I didn't know until I met him again, a few weeks ago."

Rose nodded slowly. "But then how do you know what happened? And… why can't he die?"

"That's what I want to know." Jack faced the Doctor, folding his arms. "Come on, you've started so you might as well finish."

The Doctor sighed. "Jack, I'm begging you, don't do this now."

"What can be so awful that we can't do this now?" Jack demanded.

"Yeah, what?" Rose looked at him.

The Doctor looked back at her. "Rose. Oh, Rose." He shook his head. "I think you already know."

"Know what?" Jack turned his attention onto her.

Rose looked utterly baffled. "I have no idea! What are you talking about?"

The Doctor hated doing this to her. He'd wanted time to plan this all out properly, sit them down together and talk it over. Ever since he'd met Jack again, this had haunted him. He hadn't want to fit in a cheap speedy explanation whilst waiting for the TARDIS to hurry the hell up.

He sighed again. "Think, Rose. Think of what happened on the Gamestation."

Rose wore the frown for a few more seconds, before her brow cleared. Her mouth fell slightly open and she gave a short gasp, before needing to sit down again heavily. The Doctor put a hand gently on her shoulder and could feel her heart racing and her breathing become shallower. She was shaking, he realized, and her eyes were like saucers.

Jack looked between the two of them, his frown still there and deepening second by second. "What? What's he talking about, Rose? What happened?"

"When I sent Rose away, you told me to keep on working," the Doctor began explaining, aware that Rose would never be able to get the words out. "You told me she was safe, and I knew you were right. Or at least, I thought you were. Only she had other ideas."

"She came back for you?" Jack guessed. "But I knew that."

"Ever wonder how she got back?" The Doctor asked pointedly.

"Well, the TARDIS…" Jack tailed off as it dawned on him. "She can't fly it, can she? You never showed her, you never once let her try. Then… how?"

"I knew I had to get back," Rose took up the story, her voice wavery and faint. "Mum and Mickey were acting like nothing was happening, like I should just give up and go back to my old life. Sleeping, working, eating chips. They thought I could just forget him like that." She remembered sitting in that café, Jackie and Mickey making inane comments about the place and everyday things, whilst all she could think about was him, her Doctor, so far away, fighting against the end of the world.

_Jackie looked across the table at her grief-stricken daughter. "Oh, Rose, have something to eat," she pleaded, gesturing towards her untouched chips._

_But Rose stubbornly refused to. A lump was sticking in her throat and the mere thought of touching the chips in front of her made her gag. Staring out the window, she forced the words out. "Two hundred thousand years in the future, he's dying, and there's nothing I can do." Her Doctor. Dead._

_Jackie hesitated before attempting to cheer her up, her voice bright. "Well, like you said… two hundred thousand years… it's way off!"_

_Rose stared at her mother, wondering if she'd ever understand. "But it's not!" she replied urgently. "It's now! That fight is happening right now, and he's fighting for us! For the whole planet, and I'm just sitting here, eating chips!" The thought made her so angry she couldn't explain it._

_Jackie's voice became more serious. "Listen to me." Rose reluctantly faced her. "God knows, I have hated that man, but right now, I love him. And do you know why? Because he did the right thing. He sent you back to me." And she calmly picked a chip up, as though it was over, as though there was nothing left to say._

_"But what do I do every day, Mum?" Rose asked. "What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go back to bed? Is that it?"_

_Mickey eyed her coldly. "It's what the rest of us do." Even he didn't understand._

"_But I can't!" Rose shook her head._

_"Why, cause you're better than us?" Mickey challenged her._

_"No, I didn't mean that!" Rose didn't know what she meant, she couldn't articulate the feelings inside her. She paused and tried to collect her thoughts. "But it was… it was a better life." She spoke more calmly, and carefully, deliberating over each word. "And I… I don't mean all the traveling, and seeing aliens and spaceships and things… that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life." She turned to Mickey, hoping he could understand now. "You know, he showed you too." But Mickey either couldn't, or wouldn't, understand. Rose felt the lump in her throat again. "That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand, you say no! You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else runs away, and I just can't-" The lump got the better of her and she knew she had to get out of there._

"But I had to get back," she said now, her throat constricting horribly again. She took a deep breath. "So I went to the TARDIS and I looked into the time vortex. And somehow, I don't know how, I got back. And I…" She lost her words.

"She destroyed the Daleks," the Doctor took over the story, and he couldn't help feeling a lump in his own throat as he remembered how proud he'd been of her, proud and grateful. "She came back and…well, she rescued me." He squeezed her shoulder gently. "For a change."

"Hey!" Rose slapped him playfully, her face still pale. The Doctor realized how little they'd talked about all of this when she was with him; maybe she'd needed to talk, get it out of her system. He knew from experience that having the time vortex in your head tended to take a bit of getting over.

Jack interrupted. "But what's this got to do with me?" he asked.

Rose turned back to the Doctor, willing him to finish it as it dawned on her again what must have happened.

The Doctor looked at them both, aware he was about to change their relationship forever. "The thing is, Jack, when Rose came back, she wasn't exactly… Rose."

"How do you mean?"

"She was…" The Doctor decided to plunge in, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. "She was the Bad Wolf. You remember, Blaidd Drwg? That was Rose. She sort of… divided the Daleks." He shook his head. "I know it sounds stupid but…" He ran a hand over his face. "I don't quite know how to say it…"

"I bring life."

They both looked at Rose suddenly in astonishment, and she blushed, but continued. "I said that, didn't I? I…" She turned to Jack. "Jack, it was… it must have been me."

Jack stared at her, and then looked at the Doctor for confirmation.

"She's right, Jack. I don't know quite how, the time vortex is a weird thing, even I don't understand it completely. What Rose did was… well, it shouldn't have happened and it won't again. But it messed some things up and I suppose… well…"

"It messed me up," Jack replied wryly. He nodded slowly. "I get you." His face was grim and drawn and he let out a long slow breath, closing his eyes. When he inhaled again he opened them. "Well. I guess that's that, then."

"Jack…" Rose began, but a sudden clunking noise cut her off.

The Doctor looked at the screen. "It's the TARDIS. She's finished. She's found something."


	34. Chapter 33

**I only just realised that THIS is the chapter. THE chapter. Well, one of them... you'll see what I mean when you've read it. Bit of a mini-climax to the first section. AND chapter 47 is finally finished, though I need to go back over the whole of part 2 quite a bit and tidy it up.. I have a whole list of things that don't quite work and need fixing! Plus I have a ridiculous amount of coursework due in soon and my text book isn't arriving till Tuesday so I'm in a bit of a pickle! I'll try and keep updating etc, depends on the time I need to spend away from my computer (as being online and trying to work is useless... far too much exciting stuff around to try and concentrate on quite WHY this is a modernist text...). So no promises on when the next update will be, it depends on work load and motivation and other stuff which is too boring to mention so now I'll stop...**

**Oh actually, one last thing. I was trying to remember the name of a story for Yakumo27 the other day and I have no clue, nor do I know who it's by. I can tell you that its a 10th doctor Rose post doomsday story (which narrows it down sooooo much!) and its one of a series of stories about their daughter who I think the Doctor comes and takes away from the parallel world (not sure why, didn't read that story) though the daughter doesn't know he's her father. The story I read was about him managing to phone Rose from this world and they had a conversation... there was something about Rose's phone having rung previously before and no one was there while he tried to connect or something... Anyway, that was the world's worst description and does the story no credit at all. I was just wondering if anyone knows what it was called or has any vague clue.**

**Now... I will shut up.**

**

* * *

**In the years that followed, Rose knew she would always remember the last hour or so as a series of fragmented moments. Them crowding round the TARDIS screen, forgetting the talk of the last few minutes, and concentrating solely on what the old girl had to say. The Doctor's frown as he read it, his few mutterings in an unknown language, as he stabbed at the keys trying to find more information. Then his cry of delight. 

"Ha!" he'd exclaimed, jumping backwards so quickly that Jack and Rose scattered aside. "Oh, how brilliant! How… oh that's so obvious, so…" He broke off again.

Rose ventured to say something gingerly. "Do… do you know what's happened?"

He turned round to look at her, a manic grin on his face. "Oh, I know, Rose. I know alright! Come on, we'll have Janie safe home by the end of the night."

They'd driven back to the house as fast as possible, the Doctor refusing to elaborate on his grand theory until everyone was assembled. Looking at him adoringly, Rose thought grudgingly, as even her mother gave him her undivided attention.

"There's a rift, a crack between worlds," he began explaining in his enthusiastic way. "Like the one we came through," he added to the Torchwood crew. "Only this one doesn't run through Cardiff, or out at the edge of the universe. It runs through London. It's tiny, imperceptible, but this legend mentions it. What the legend wants is the Last Time Lord, as a sacrifice. When it was created, there were loads of us, all over the place, in all sorts of universes, so they needed these cracks to travel between worlds and find them. This crack was well known, one of the biggest and deepest, that's why its still there, even if it is tiny." He paused for breath. "Anyway, what these creatures must have done is realized that Janie wasn't part of one world and they've come through to another to get her. Now they've got her, they'll take her back though the rift."

"But you can stop them, right?" Gwen prompted him, her eyes flickering from Rose to Jon to the Doctor. "They won't actually take her back through with them to…" She tailed off.

The Doctor hesitated before smiling. "Yes I can. There's been no breaches of the rift in the last forty-eight hours, so I'm guessing tonight's the night."

"But where is the rift?" Owen asked, frowning.

"Oh, did I not say?" The Doctor looked confused for a second. "It's in Kensington Gardens."

They all stared at him.

"Sorry. What?" Rose said what they were all thinking.

"I said, it's-"

"Yeah, we all heard you," Jon interrupted him, much to the Doctor's indignation and Rose's amusement. "But what do you mean, it's in Kensington Gardens? I mean, that's just a park, it's just…" He shrugged. "There's nothing special about it."

"That's where you wrong, Jon, so so wrong!" The Doctor became animated again. "Because it's more than a park. Gwen, find me that photocopy again."  
Gwen scrambled through her bag and produced a copy.

"See, Janie mentioned a lake." The Doctor waved it around. "And where's there a lake?" He raised his eyebrows. "Yep, you've got it, Kensington Gardens!"

"But hold on, there're lakes everywhere, all over the country. The world!" Gwen pointed out.

"And other planets," Rose added.

"But this isn't just any old park, is it?" The Doctor was clearly on a roll and loving every second. "Because what do you know about Kensington Gardens, Rose?"

Rose drew a blank. "It's… in Kensington?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Okay, what else?"

"The Albert Memorial's there!" Tosh added suddenly.

"And?" The Doctor looked around at them. "Jack? Anybody? No?" He rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Oh come on, please, someone!"

"J M Barrie wrote _Peter Pan_ there," Jack stated in a sudden realization.

"Thank you! Thank _you_, Jack! You know, if I didn't think it would give you the wrong idea, I'd kiss you! Yes!" The Doctor seemed in danger of exploding he was so excited. "_Peter Pan_ was written there, there's a statue of him there… Toshiko, the fairies?"

"Have all disappeared…" Toshiko said slowly. "You don't think…?"

"Oh I do!" The Doctor nodded. "One of the most popular classics of all time, about childhood and magic and fairies and make-believe? Where else would they go?"

"You're saying that whatever's got Janie, they're going to use the rift in Kensington Gardens because some book was written there?" Jon sounded doubtful.

"Correctamundo!" The Doctor pulled a face. "And I swore I'd never use that word again. But yes, because it's magical, it's special, it's powerful… That's where they'll take Janie."

From then on, it had all been a bit of a blur for Rose, as they'd hastily prepared everything for after dark. Not knowing what they were facing was the hardest part, but even so, everyone seemed buoyed up and as confident as the Doctor that it would all soon be put to rights. Rose wanted to believe it, needed to, and she squashed down the voices of dissent in her mind, refusing to stop believing.

Jon was adamant he was joining them, to her distress.

"Jon, you can't," she'd begun protesting, but was cut off mid-sentence.

"Yes, I can, Mum, and I'm going to," he replied firmly.

Jack looked between the mother and son and finally spoke. "I'll get Owen to train you," he said. Rose looked up sharply. "If he's coming, he needs to know how to fight."

That sent Rose's stomach curling around itself. She looked out the window as her little boy was taught how to fire a variety of guns for all occasions, and her heart ached. How had it ever come to this? Her daughter stolen away, about to be taken through a rift in time, and her son preparing to shoot god alone knew what with a gun. This wasn't supposed to happen.

But still, here they were, pulled up outside the gate to Kensington Gardens in the moonlight. The temperature had dipped in the last few days, but the shiver down her spine wasn't anything to do with a north wind. The park looked foreboding in the late night calm and Rose wished they were anywhere but here. Somehow, it had all hit home since the Doctor had instigated their plan; Janie was really in there, being held captive. It wasn't make-believe anymore. It was all happening. Somewhere in that park, her beautiful, lively daughter was at the mercy of… That reminded her, the Doctor had never even explained what exactly had Janie.

"Ready?" He didn't give her a chance to ask the question that lingered on her lips, as he checked with Jack that their motley crew was ready. Rose looked round at them, all holding their torches and preparing their guns in their belts, making sure to cover them in case of late night dog walkers. Very late night dog-walkers; Rose's watch made it three-thirty in the morning. And then there was Jon. His hand kept creeping back down to where his own gun was resting in his coat pocket. He kept his eyes riveted on Jack, following his every move, as though he believed that this man would really solve all their problems. Rose wished he'd look at the Doctor like that; he was his father, not Jack. But Jack, as usual, had charmed his way into everyone's affections, even Jon's. She dreaded to think what he'd do to Janie if he met her. She caught her breath in her throat. _When_. _When_ he met Janie.

"Ready." Jack nodded. He gestured towards Owen. "We'll go ahead. Gwen, Tosh, bring up the rear." Gwen looked about to argue, her brow knotting in consternation, but Jack silenced her. "That's an order. Jon…" The young boy looked up. If he'd been a dog, his tail would have wagged, Rose realized, at the voice of his owner, the man he hero-worshipped. Whether the Doctor noticed or not, she wasn't sure. If he did, it didn't register on his face. "Jon, you're not to use the gun unless I tell you, okay? Stay back with Gwen and Tosh." Jack's eyes rested on Rose briefly, then he switched back to business. "Okay, we're ready."

They entered the park, their feet making light tramping noises on the pathways. It was a beautiful night; the moon shone down brightly, making their torches almost redundant as they made their way towards the end of the lake. They saw no one; Rose had never seen anywhere so deserted in her life, so empty of life. Maybe the Doctor had got it wrong…

"Stop." Jack's order made them all jump and stop still, hearts pounding. Rose felt a lump rise up in her throat, and her muscles tensed. She couldn't see anything from where she was, tucked away behind Jack and Owen and the Doctor, and it made her more anxious than before.

"Jack?" Gwen asked finally, after a long period of silence.

Jack didn't reply, but gestured to them to come closer behind him, not taking his eyes off something in front of him. He pointed ahead. "Is this what we're looking for?" he asked the Doctor, and his voice sounded raw and like he'd had the breath knocked out of him. So Rose looked. And then she knew why.

* * *

By the edge of the lake stood a strange selection of creatures, some Rose knew and some she didn't. She didn't know which terrified her more. In the air she could see strange ineffable beings which moved too quickly for her to identify them at first. Then she realized; the Gelth. Mingling with them in the air, she could hear buzzing noises like the beating of wings. 

"Fairies," Gwen whispered, as though she knew the other woman had no clue what they were.

A Slitheen hunched over in the moonlight and as Rose looked down its horrific claw-like hand, she saw her. Clutched in the creature's hand was her daughter, Janie, alive and awake, but almost paralysed with fear. It was all Rose could do to stop herself running towards her that second.

The Doctor spoke finally, answering Jack's question. "Something like that, yes." He surveyed the scene in front of him in silence. Rose continued looking and saw other things. Her blood ran cold when she saw a lone Cyberman, standing on the other side of her daughter. The moonlight glinted on its silver casing. An ear-splitting shriek alerted her to the presence of a Krillitane.

"It's like our past has come back to haunt us," she said softly to the Doctor, her eyes flickering over to him for a second, before returning to study her daughter's face.

"Time we finished it then," he said, with a grim determination. He nodded to Jack. "Come on."

Jack and Owen led the way across the moonlight lit park. The cries from the creatures reached all new levels as they spotted the intruders. As the Krillitane swooped towards them, Jack shot a few bullets home, which buried themselves in the creature's wing. It screeched and dropped down to the ground, flapping its wing, obviously in agony. Rose couldn't help thinking that angering them wasn't the right way to go.

It took Janie a few moments to realize what was happening. The gunshots had made her start and she gazed at the oncoming army in awe. Then she saw her mother.

"Mum!" Janie tried to run to her, but the Slitheen had her wrist in such a tight grip that she didn't get much further than a few feet before she pulled up painfully sharp. Rose fancied she could hear a crack in her daughter's wrist, but under the noise of the gunshots and the alien cries, she knew it was just her imagination.

The Doctor continued walking amidst all noise and commotion until he was facing the collection of creatures face on. He stood and surveyed the chaos for a few seconds before he finally spoke. Or shouted.

"Quiet!" Like a charm, it worked. The noise died down, Jack and Owen lowered their guns, the aliens all looked slightly stunned by his interruption. The Doctor looked around, as though daring one to defy him. "Good, that's better. Now. Who's in charge here?" Rose recognized his tone from when he'd dealt with aliens before. The aliens all looked around; she'd have sworn they were embarrassed if she didn't know them better.

"Oh, come on, someone must be driving this thing." The Doctor put his hands behind his back and walked towards them slightly. "Someone must be in charge." He glanced around. "No? No one." He sighed. "Well that's a shame. Because I suppose that means I'll have to take over." The Slitheen shifted uneasily. The Doctor noticed. "And you're not going to like that much, are you?" The Krillitane screeched again and tried to swoop towards him, but wheeled away when the Doctor turned his attention onto it. "Oh, you can shut up too! What are you here for? You've come all this way, across time and dimensions for what? To steal a teenage girl?" He looked around at them incredulously, and Rose felt her heart jump. This was working. She'd seen him talk like this so many times before, and it worked, it really worked. Maybe, just maybe, he was right this time, maybe Janie would be home by tonight.

He shook his head. "Let her go. She doesn't know anything, what can you possibly what her for?"

"She is the last Time Lord." They all jumped out of sheer surprise as one dared to answer back. The Cyberman. Of course.

"But she's not!" The Doctor almost sounded aggrieved by that; Rose had suspected for a while that the twins had rather stolen his thunder in that respect. "She's barely Time Lord at all! And she doesn't know anything about Time Lords… what can you want her for?"

"The legend says-" the Cyberman began but was quickly cut off by the Doctor.

"Oh, the legend says what? Since when did any of you lot pay attention to long-dead legends?" He faced them down, and when he spoke again there was a catch in his voice. "Let her go."

There was an eerie calm after his words. The Slitheen didn't loosen its hold on Janie, but Rose could imagine that at minute it might. All that remained was a strange buzzing in the air. And then the wind got up.

Gwen gingerly spoke. "Jack?"

Jack looked around as the wind got stronger. He reminded Rose of a dog, trying to catch the scent of something on the breeze, trying to make sense of something. Then his eyes widened. "Get back!" he yelled, raising his gun to the sky as Rose saw several grotesque creatures descend on them. The buzzing was obviously coming from them. Fairies. Gwen and Tosh raced forward, forcing Rose and Jon backwards, as they rained bullets on the creatures. Owen let out a cry when a stray bullet sank itself into his arm. Jack glanced back over his shoulder to Jon.

Jon, who was standing, staring at the scene in the park. His sister, trapped between two aliens. His new-found father, trying to talk them down. These new people who had walked into his life only this weekend, scattering shells all over the place as winged creatures came down at them. And with a gun trembling in his hands.

"Jon, drop the gun!" Jack yelled as he continued shooting. The gun remained in Jon's hands, as he tried to fire it, but Jack could see the fear written across the boy's face. "Jon!"

The gun slid out of his hands and landed on the ground with a thud. Jon stepped away from it still trembling. Rose wanted to comfort her son, but she couldn't. Her eyes were fixed on what had been happening in the seconds of confusion.

A light was shining, but not the moon or a torch. It was coming out of the lake, like a spotlight. It was bright, so bright that they had to squint to see what was happening in front of it. The light reminded Rose of the TARDIS vortex, strange and shimmering and alien. It froze her to the spot.

The gunfire died out as they all realized what was happening, turning their eyes to look at the light. Where Janie was being dragged.

"Janie!" Rose found her voice again as her daughter's screams became apparent over the lessened din of Torchwood's weapons. "Janie!" She made to run forwards but found her path blocked by Jack who suddenly stepped in her way. "Jack, move!" But he wouldn't. "Jack!"

"Bring her back!" The Doctor ordered the aliens, but it wasn't working this time. It was like slow motion, things happening that no one could stop. "Bring her back!" He bellowed, his eyes frightening dark and burning.

"Doctor!" Gwen fired close to him as a fairy made a well-timed swipe at him, only missing by a matter of inches. The gun shot broke the silence and the next second the light had disappeared. Taking Janie with it.

"No!" Rose cried, starting forwards, only to instantly collide with Jack. It was strange; no tears would come now, just thick choking sobs that racked her body as she buried her face in his shoulder.

Gwen made a move towards Jon, but he stepped away, his eyes still fixed on the point where Janie had disappeared. She exchanged a glance with Jack who gave a slight shake of his head. Owen collapsed to the ground, clutching his shoulder. Tosh knelt down next to him to help to bandage it. And the Doctor stood alone, eyes closed, his back to everyone as the wind died away around them and the moon shone down again.


	35. Chapter 34

**So Janie's disappeared again... I do so like shoving that poor girl aside. A few more quietish chapters after the drama of the last few now. I'm into writing chapter 48 now so I'm quite happy. Coursework will not defeat this story, I refuse to let it.**

**Erm, anyone any clues on the story I described at the beginning of the last chapter? I'm guessing not but just a quick check.**

**

* * *

**Sitting in the Tylers' living room at five in the morning reminded Gwen of when her granddad had died. She'd only been sixteen and she remembered sitting up all night. Rooms felt strange at this hour of the morning, unfamiliar and unsettling. The house was lively but almost silent. She knew everyone else was still awake, gone to their various places to hide and come to terms with what had happened. She felt a sudden yearning for Rhys; she'd never wanted a hug or kiss more than right now. She looked around at her companions. Tosh was curled up in an armchair, picking her fingernails, whilst Jack was doing what he did best, brooding and staring out the window across the dawn-light lawn. The living room door opened. 

Owen came in, his right shoulder strapped up and a look of intense exhaustion and agony on his face. He sat down heavily in a chair.

"She's asleep," he said of Rose, in his usual blunt manner. "I gave her something to help her sleep."

"Is that a good idea?" Tosh asked.

"At least if she's asleep she isn't thinking about it," Owen pointed out. He winced as he moved his arm slightly.

"You should go to the hospital, Owen," Gwen remarked.

"I'm a doctor, I can self-diagnose. It's self-prescribing they frown upon."

"Doesn't usually stop you though, does it?" Gwen replied.

Owen managed a weary smile. "No, not exactly. I'm making a bit of habit of this though, aren't I?" When no one answered his joke he sighed. "I might try and catch some sleep if that's alright?" He raised his eyebrows in Jack's direction. When their leader didn't reply, he prompted him. "Jack?"

"What?" Jack glanced round, his voice distant. "Oh, yeah, sure. Take as long as you want."

Owen nodded. "Thank you would be nice," he muttered, but didn't wait for Jack's response, before nodding goodnight to the two women and leaving the room.

Tosh shifted uneasily. "I'm going to go to bed too, I think." She nodded nervously. "Yeah. I'll see you… well, in the morning." She laughed gingerly before leaving the room.

Gwen glanced over at Jack as the door shut softly behind their colleague. Since they'd left the park, he'd barely said a word. Not that it had exactly been a journey full of laughter and jokes, but he'd not even given any orders or anything. He'd half-carried Rose upstairs and then left her to Owen's capable hands, after she'd stopped convulsing with silent sobs. Jon had walked like a sleep-walker up to his room and closed the door firmly behind him, leaving no one in any doubt as to his feelings on visitors at the moment. The Doctor had refused to even come in the house, preferring instead to wander off, hands in his overcoat pockets, a haunted expression on his face. He needed time, Gwen knew that, but she did feel he could have stayed with Rose a bit longer. It had been left to Gwen to explain the situation to Pete and Jackie, as Owen busied himself with cleaning his own wound and trying to calm Rose down. Part of Gwen felt angry at them all that she'd been left in that position, and yet she knew there was no other option. Rose couldn't form a coherent syllable let alone a sentence.

Leaving her seat now, she moved to stand next to Jack at the window, looking out. It was going to be a beautiful day again, sunny and bright. Not that it made much difference to the mood of the house. Again, Gwen felt the pull of home. She wished she could tell Rhys half of what had happened, but he'd never understand, and she couldn't expect him to.

"It's going to be a nice day."

Jack didn't reply, and she didn't blame him. But she didn't know what else to say. She had no idea what was going on in his head, he never shared much with her. If she could just tap into his brain, work out what he was thinking, what he was feeling… life would be so much easier. But then she supposed that was the same for most people.

As she studied his face, she was struck again by just how handsome he was, with his chiseled jawline and those back-shiveringly blue eyes. And she also noted how much pain was etched into his face, more so than ever before. It was like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault."

He started when she spoke again, and looked. He didn't say anything, but at least she'd gained a response of some kind.

"Tonight. What happened. It wasn't your fault."

Jack let out a long breath. "I should have done something more. I should have-"

"Jack, you did everything you could. No one could have asked for more.

"But maybe if I'd-"

"Jack!" Gwen surprised herself with the sharpness of her voice. "Jack," she continued much more softly and coaxingly. "Sweetheart, this wasn't your fault."

He looked down at her again and she saw those blue eyes fill with tears. He looked at her like her nephew did, when he was scared and frightened and lonely over something. Looking for reassurance and kind words and, most of all, a hug.

"Oh Jack!" Gwen pulled him towards her, forgetting who he was. Captain Jack Harkness, her boss, the one they all looked up to, and she was hugging him like he was her sister's little boy. He didn't seem to be complaining though, as his body almost collapsed into hers, that great strength he always had disappearing as he buried his head in her shoulder. Gwen stroked his hair gently, making soothing noises into his ear. For a few moments they stood like that, before Jack lifted his head. She met his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that had struck her the second she'd laid her own dark brown ones on him. Gently, he leaned down without saying a word and kissed her lightly on the lips. Gwen gave into it for a split second before pulling away.

"Jack…" she said, her voice no louder than a whisper, as she tried to remember exactly why this couldn't happen. She looked into his eyes again, and all thoughts like that were completely erased. She could see in his face the same pain and confusion that had been coursing through her veins since the day she'd first heard the word 'Torchwood'. Only times a million. Jack had no one, no one to talk to, no one to share any of who he was or what he did with. No one to give him a hug when he felt down, no one just to reach out and squeeze his hand. Why couldn't this happen? Gwen gave up fighting.


	36. Chapter 35

**A bit of Doctor/Rose cuteness here, but not a lot... there should probably be more but it sort of keeps the tension there... one day they'll be reunited properly.**

**Btw, I'm still looking to change my summary if anyone fancies doing it for me or at least giving me a suggestion or two.**

**Extract from "Father's Day" in this one. I love that episode.**

**

* * *

**"I thought you'd be up." 

Rose jumped and turned to see the Doctor standing by the kitchen door. He didn't elicit the usual response from her, the huge grin and the jump in her stomach. Instead, every word he spoke and every flicker of his eyelids just felt like someone was banging against her rib cage.

"The door was open," he explained softly, gesturing towards the front door.

Rose didn't even nod in response. She sat down heavily at the kitchen table, which was littered with coffee cups from yesterday, most undrunk.

The Doctor remained standing. "How are you?" When she didn't reply he sighed. "Sorry, stupid question."

Finally Rose found her voice. "Where did you go last night?"

"Oh, I needed a walk." He shrugged. "You know, clear my head, think things over. I wanted to go and check on the TARDIS too, make sure she was okay."

Rose only nodded, unable to speak because of the sudden ball of anger inside of her. He'd spent last night checking on that stupid ship of his instead of being here, with his family, where they needed him.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Asleep."

"Oh right." He tried to surreptitiously check the kitchen clock, but Rose saw him move.

"We did have a late night." It didn't seem to have taken much of a toll on him though, she noticed. His suit looked neatly pressed and his tie wasn't even hanging off on one side.

He nodded. Silence descended upon them again, and Rose found herself thinking of the old times, when they had so much to say that they'd talk over the top of each other. It was like a punch to the stomach as she thought about all those tales and jokes and laughter, the hugs and smiles and teasing. She'd been so happy back then, so carefree and enthusiastic about life. It felt like another person. Another time, another Rose, another Doctor.

"I've been checking a few things out." He eventually spoke again. She looked up at him. "With the TARDIS. About this legend. And Rose? It's not over yet."

Rose looked at him incredulously. "What do you mean, it's not over? They've taken her. They've taken my little girl and we couldn't do anything to stop them. You couldn't… Those… _things_… have taken Janie and we don't know where they are or what they're doing or why or anything!" The Doctor seemed about to protest, an excuse on the tip of his tongue, but Rose cut him dead. "Well do you, Doctor? Do you know why they've got her?"

He looked away. "No. No, I don't."

Something inside Rose broke and she had no idea what. Part of her had been clinging on, even now, to the hope that whatever had happened, whatever those aliens wanted with her beautiful daughter, the Doctor would know and would sort it out. Because that was what he did, that was who he was. She'd only seen him utterly flummoxed once in her life, and now she thought about it, she suspected that maybe he hadn't been that lost after all.

_His face mellowed a little, the anger and hurt subsiding a little, and his voice lost its harsh coldness. "Alright. I'm sorry. I wasn't really going to leave you."_

_Rose could never resist being a little bolshy. "I know."_

_"But between you me… I haven't got a plan. No idea. No way out."_

_Rose looked at him. "You'll think of something."_

He had, she knew that now. He'd already known the only way out was for Pete, her father, her _daddy_, to die, just like he was supposed to. Much as it had pulled her apart at the time, she'd never lost her faith him in for a second. She'd thought it would always be like that, always him knowing what to do. Of course, she'd had her part to play, she'd saved him on enough occasions. But it was always him that knew what to do. Only not this time.

He must have heard that something crack inside of her as he turned to look at her again. "I'm sorry."

Rose shook her head and didn't reply immediately, as she cradled her head in her hands and let her hair fall across her face. She wasn't really angry with him; she wanted to shout at him and demand answers, demand to know why he'd abandoned them last night when she needed him more than she'd needed anybody for a long time. But would getting angry with him help? Was any of this even his fault?

"Do you know what really kills me?" she said finally, her voice thick with tears that she was trying to hold back. She hadn't cried this much and this often since he'd left her.

"What's that?" he asked in a gentle voice, like he was talking to a child.

"That Janie thought she was meeting someone she liked." Rose sniffed. "That they'd just use her feelings, her…" She shook her head. "That poor boy." She was sure if she'd ever been introduced to this Rich Stringer, she'd have immediately decided that Janie was having nothing more to do with him. But no matter how awful he was, he didn't deserve to be butchered and then have his skin paraded round. "How can they play on her feelings like that?"

The Doctor crouched down on the floor beside her. "They don't really care about things like that, Rose. You know they don't. Emotions… half of them don't even know what they are. But Rose… it's not over yet."

Rose wiped her eyes. "What do you mean? How can it not be over?"

"They've taken Janie back to their world. My world. The world that you came from. That's all last night was, them going back through a rift, I told you that." Rose nodded, so he continued. "So this legend, this ritual… they've not done it yet. Janie's still alive."

Rose frowned. "What?"

"Janie is still alive. They've just taken her back to another world." The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "I can go after her and bring her back."

Rose stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a sharp breath in amazement. "You mean that? Seriously?"

"Never been more serious about anything in my life."

Rose stood up. "Well come on then, let's go after her!"

The Doctor rose up from his crouched position too, a sad expression on his face. "Rose, you can't come."

"What? What do you mean I can't come?"

"You're dead, Rose, officially. Back there. Dead people can't come back."

Rose shook her head. "But I'm not, am I? Not like Dad, I'm not actually _dead_!"

The Doctor shook his head back. "I'm sorry, Rose. I can't take that risk. Things will be mad enough, this legend, whatever it is, isn't a walk in the park. If you come through again, you could create a hole in time. And we both know that's not a good idea."

Rose swallowed a lump in her throat. "So am I just meant to sit here then, and wait for you? Wait for you to find her and bring her back, or…"

"I'll find her. And I'll bring her back to you, good as new." The Doctor took her hands in his. "I promise you, Rose. Our daughter will be safe."

* * *

Though they hadn't gone to bed until after five, and hadn't fallen asleep until gone six, when Jack woke up in Gwen's bed at nine-thirty, his first instinct was to get out of there as quickly as possible. He'd eased himself out without waking up the sleeping woman next to him. Her dark hair was falling over her face and she'd somehow managed to knot herself up in the bedclothes. Absolutely dead to the world. Jack had carefully tucked the covers back round her and then slipped out the door. 

Gwen had been right; it was a beautiful day outside. He crossed the lawn, hands in his pockets, listening to the birds sing, and thinking about what had happened last night. All of yesterday in fact. Twenty-four hours of complete insanity when he'd thought that things in his life couldn't get any weirder. In his mind, it had all seemed so simple. He'd somehow deluded himself into believing that as soon as he found the Doctor and Rose, as soon as he knew what had happened to him and why he was the way he was, it would all be over. The Doctor would find a way to undo whatever immortality spell or charm had been put upon him, or if that failed, Jack could at least start to accept what had happened. In actual fact, being immortal, or whatever it was, did have its bonus sides. It wasn't like it hadn't got Jack, the Torchwood team and the whole world out of a few scrapes. So maybe acceptance would have been enough to allow him to live happily ever after.

But now he knew. Nothing was that simple. Since coming here, since meeting the Doctor and Rose again, Jack had just felt his life spiral deeper and deeper downwards, until it finally hit rock bottom yesterday. With Rose's words, he'd found his head spinning. Until that moment, Jack had felt only one emotion towards whoever had done this to him, and that was anger. Well, two: anger and hate. More than wanting to find out why, his first priority was to give whoever (or whatever) had made him immortal a big thump between the eyes. There would be plenty of time for questions later. Act first, think later: same old Jack Harkness.

But then he'd found out. He'd found out that the person who had done this to him, who had caused him so much pain and anger and confusion for so long was Rose. Sweet, perfect, beautiful Rose had done everything she could to save her Doctor and had accidentally resuscitated Jack in the process. And then had forgotten all about him, it seemed. Just moved on, changing faces and times and… just left him.

Jack wished he could hate Rose for that, that he could finally let the itch in his fist let loose and land one on her chin. But he couldn't. She was a woman for starters; rule number one, you don't hit women. And for another thing… she was Rose. The girl he'd missed non-stop since she'd left, abandoning him with this terrible gift. He adored her, would do anything for her. He couldn't hate her if he tried.

Then there was the other stuff. Janie. As soon as Jack tried to stop being so self-obsessed, endlessly examining his own messed up feelings, he only managed to plunge himself into bottomless pits of guilt concerning one Miss. Janie Tyler. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the fear painted across her face. She was even more beautiful in real life than she had been in the photograph Rose had given them. A perfect mixture of her mother and father. Jack knew deep down that it shouldn't make a difference, but it did. She was gorgeous, and that somehow made their failure last night worse. As though it could be any worse. They'd failed to save her from a hoard of aliens, and she'd disappeared. Leaving just them and their guilt that they'd let her down. They were Torchwood, they were the Time Lord, they were her parents for god's sake. And they couldn't protect that little girl from the evils in the world. They couldn't even deal with them themselves, Jack mused, as he briefly let his mind dart back to Gwen's room, only a few hours ago. He inwardly winced when he thought about it. What a mistake that had been. He wasn't even sure what logic had come into play with that, if any at all. How he thought that sleeping with a colleague, with _Gwen_, would help him or her at that moment, he couldn't understand now. And yet, it had, strangely for a few blissful minutes, all he'd been able to think about was her, and it had made all that guilt and anger and fear just disappear like it had never been there. Of course, that couldn't last. After falling into a light warm sleep he'd awoken with a bigger hole inside him than ever.

A movement in the garden disturbed Jack from his own thoughts and he glanced up to see Jon wandering down the garden path, hands in his pockets, his hair an utter mess. He hesitated before joining him; surely this wasn't his role. It should be his dad or even his granddad out here with this boy this morning, giving him a man to man talk. But there was no one else, Jack realized. The Doctor… well, who knew where he even was? And even if he could be found, the gap between father and son was so wide that they'd barely even hear each other. As for Pete, no matter how hard he tried, Jack was certain that Jon had already far outstripped his granddad in terms of life experience.

So Jack ambled over to the boy, hands still firmly in his pockets. Even when he reached him, he didn't say a word, just fell into step alongside him, kicking stones along the ground. Jon glanced across at him at first, but then they lapsed into an easy silence for a time, content that the other was there if they felt the need to speak.

"Did you sleep in those clothes?" Jon asked finally.

Jack glanced down at his rumpled shirt and creased trousers. "I guess you could say that," he agreed. He nodded towards Jon. "Did you sleep in yours?"

"No." Jon shook his head. "I didn't sleep."

They'd reached a bench down by the ornamental pond Jackie had had installed when she came here. It was very tasteful, Jack thought to himself, tongue firmly in cheek. He especially liked the golden cherubs in the centre. They sat down side by side, falling silent once again. Jack didn't like to push Jon; he'd talk when he was ready.

"I'm sorry."

Jack tried not to show his surprise at the boy's choice of words, fixing his gaze instead on the centre of the pond, where a sparrow was playing in the small pools on the central statue. "What for?"

Jon pushed the stones by his feet around, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin lodged in his hands. "Last night. For… for bottling it."

"That's fine. You did good."

"I froze."

It was true, Jon had bottled it and frozen. Jack couldn't deny that. Facts were facts. If it had been Owen, Jack was almost certain he'd have given him a right royal bollocking by now, full of heated words and raised voices. The argument would have ended with Owen flouncing out of the room, hurling insults, but it would have died down again. They always did. At one time or another, every member of the Torchwood team had bottled it and they'd been yelled at about it. Jack knew it hadn't always been the right course to take, but he was their boss, their leader. It was their job to fight aliens and see things no one should have to see, and it was his job to make sure they did it. The difference this time was that it wasn't Jon's job. He wasn't part of Torchwood, he didn't want to fight aliens or save the world or anything. He was eighteen. He just wanted to find his sister. Yesterday was the first time he'd seen a gun, let alone held one and been expected to fire it. Jack just didn't have it in him to treat this boy like one of the team. And Gwen's words came flooding back to him from last night.

"It wasn't your fault."

"But I was useless, I just…" Jon's hands tensed up as though the gun were in them again, his index finger straining as though he were trying to pull the trigger and didn't quite have the guts. "I couldn't do it, I was… too scared."

"That's okay." Jack was surprising himself with his own calm replies. Being scared wasn't okay, not when you had things to do and people to save… you couldn't just give into fear…

"It's not okay! My own sister and… and… I couldn't do anything!" Jon was working himself up into a frenzy, his voice thick with emotion.

Jack glanced across at him. Then he spoke. "It's okay to be scared, Jon. Everyone is sometimes."

"Not you. Not Owen."

Jack smiled grimly. "Oh, even Owen Harper gets scared sometimes. And me."

Jon looked up at him, frowning. "You? When?"

Jack thought about all the times he'd been scared, terrified, frozen to the spot with fear. There'd been so many he hardly knew where to start. He'd spent so long covering up his terror at everything around him, at who and what he was, of his feelings for other people, that he didn't know now if he'd imagined it all or whether it was real.

He shook his head. "Plenty of times." He smiled at Jon and put a hand on his back. "Don't worry about yesterday. You were fine."

"But what about Janie?"

Janie. Jack let out a long breath again. What about Janie?


	37. Chapter 36

**This is last chapter in Part One. Really am struggling with my writing at the moment, I'm not sure why. I think being in the coldest room in the house while I write doesn't exactly help and also lack of inspiration and a general laziness. Plus I'm already spending too long sitting at the computer and giving myself headaches writing about random stuff. Though today I managed to use my knowledge of Doctor Who to understand a lecture which was nice, seeing as I didn't attend said lecture. Very good work.**

**There are extracts in this chappie from World War 3 and The Christmas Invasion (I think).**

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**Rose couldn't believe that less than twelve hours after seeing one of her children disappear into another dimension, she had to wave the other one goodbye as well. He'd been the first one to speak after the Doctor had related his plan to the whole group, when everyone else was still digesting the information. Jon stood up almost instantly. 

"I'm coming."

They'd all turned to look at him and then at Rose, who'd felt her stomach knot as soon as he spoke. Resisting the urge to scream at him, she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Jon, I really don't think that would be a good idea-"

"I'm going."

She faced her son, and saw that familiar stubbornness on his face. God, he was his father's son alright, always right, never listening to anybody else. With a rush of horror, Rose realized that actually he was his mother's son. It wasn't like she'd ever paused to think about Jackie's feelings before she ran off with the Doctor on yet another wild adventure.

_Rose could hear Jackie still talking. She pushed a few more clothes into her rucksack and reached for another handful._

_"I was wondering whether he drinks or not." Jackie came in the door._

_"Yeah, he does." Rose knew she was being a bit off-hand with her mum. She was only trying to be nice, trying to welcome the Doctor into the family. Like any normal mother with any normal friend of her normal daughter. Only this was very far from normal._

_When Jackie spoke again, her voice nearly broke Rose's heart. "Don't go sweetheart." Rose turned to look at her, taking in her mother, cup of tea in hand. She loved her, even though she could murder her sometimes, she hated to see her upset. But this wasn't about her mum anymore. "Please don't go."_

_Rose hesitated, before reaching for more clothes._

Jon spoke again without waiting for a response from his mum. "I'll go and pack a bag." He left the room.

Rose looked at the Doctor, setting her jaw firmly. "He's not going. Tell him he can't go."

The Doctor pulled a face. "Rose, it's not really my place…"

"You're his father, of course it's your place!" Rose snapped. To think she'd yearned for his parental involvement for years. If this was how he reacted to a minor strop of Jon's, she didn't dare think about how he'd handle Janie… Just the thought of her daughter made her more sure than ever that she wasn't letting her son out of her sight. "He can't go with you."

"It might be good for him." Jack unexpectedly spoke up. Rose swiveled her gaze round to him. "He might be a help."

Rose stood up and glared at her friendly coldly. "I've already lost one child this week. I'm not losing another."

She headed upstairs after her son. He was in his room, already reaching into drawers and burying the contents into the rucksack he'd had for his sixteenth birthday, when he was into hiking with some friends of his. He still was. He'd always said he wanted to go traveling. Rose didn't know why she hadn't seen this coming a long time ago.

"You can't stop me, Mum." Jon took her by surprise. With his back to her, he couldn't possibly have seen her lingering at the doorway. He'd always had a sort of sixth sense with that kind of thing though, knowing when people were in the room without seeing them. Maybe that was the Time Lord part of him, she didn't know.

Rose moved round and sat down on the bed next to his already bulging rucksack. For something to do, she took out a t shirt and refolded it neatly. "Jon, I don't want a fight," she said gently and reasonably. "I just… you don't know how dangerous it can be with him. The Doctor, I mean."

Jon looked at her. "But you went with him. Didn't you?"

Rose had to nod.

"I bet Gran and Granddad didn't want you to, did they?"

Rose shook her head. Probably safer to explain about Pete another time.

"But you still went."

"It was different!"

"How was it different?" Jon demanded. "How is it any different, Mum? I want to help find Janie. Last night… last night I was rubbish-"

"That's not true!"

"Yeah it is! But now I can help!" Jon was more impassioned than Rose had ever seen him before. "Mum, if they go through and find Janie, she'll be all alone. She won't know anyone. But if I go… there'll be me." He looked at her imploringly. "So I have to go."

Rose looked at her son. She remembered all the reasons she'd given over the years as to why she always went back to the Doctor, why she never wanted to leave him.

_"There's just so much out there. So much to see… I've got to."_

_"Mum… if you saw it out there… you'd never stay home."_

They were such selfish excuses, she realized now. All about wanting to see more, do more, be more than she was back on earth. She hated her eighteen-year-old self at that moment. Jon didn't want that, he'd never wanted more than who he was. Sure, he wanted to go traveling, but he'd always come back. She knew she could rely on him to call from every destination, to send postcards and keep her up to date. All he wanted was to help his sister, the annoying sister that he'd had to patiently put up with for eighteen years.

She sighed and then forced a smile. "Well, if you're going, you better learn how to pack properly, hadn't you? You won't get anything in if you don't fold your stuff up properly. Trust me, I can pack."

Jon smiled at her. "I was thinking… maybe I should take some stuff for Janie too…"

A proper smile came to Rose's face. "That would be a good idea," she said softly. Then, impulsively, she kissed her son on the cheek.

"Mum!" he said in mock-disgust, but then he turned round and gave her a hug. "Love you, Mum."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

* * *

"Hurry up, Jack, bring your bags out!" Gwen chastised him as the ex-Time Agent sauntered out of the house to the already pretty packed SUV. Gwen couldn't help a smile spreading across her face when she saw him, though she knew it was entirely inappropriate. "Not like you to be so late!" She turned back to pushing her own suitcase in further, trying not to dislodge the delicate equipment Tosh had stowed in the back. 

Jack swallowed hard before speaking. "I'm not coming."

All four members of the Torchwood team turned to look at him.

"What?" Tosh voiced their thoughts.

"I'm not coming back with you." Jack forced laughter. "There's no need to look so shocked, I'm not dying or anything."

"But… why?" Ianto frowned.

"I just thought I'd stay here, tidy up after ourselves a bit." Jack shrugged. "No big deal. I've spoken to the Doctor, it's all sorted."

Gwen took a step towards him. "But… we need you," she said.

"No you don't!" Jack laughed. "You're all fine without me around. Owen, you're in charge, okay? Well, listen to the Doctor, but apart from that-"

"Sorry, I don't get this." Owen interrupted. "You're staying here, whilst we go back home and fight the good fight on your behalf? Have I missed something? Did I black out?"

"I just think that, under the circumstances, someone should stay here and-"

"And what?" Gwen raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to say what she instinctively knew what the reasoning behind all this. The reasoning behind everything that had happened ever since they'd come to this godforsaken place.

Jack met her eyes. "You've got Jon."

"Oh, come on, Jack, he's a nice kid, but he's crap with a gun!" Owen protested. "You don't need to stay."

"I do! I-"

"It's cause of her, isn't it?" Gwen finally gave voice to her fears. "Rose. You're staying because of her."

Jack at least had the good grace to look away. "She needs someone to stay with her."

"She's got her parents, that Mickey bloke." Owen frowned suddenly. "By the way, who _is_ he?"

"She's just lost both her kids," Jack continued, turning his eyes back to Gwen. He was begging her with them, asking her to understand, and yet telling her nothing. "I can't just abandon her." He broke his gaze with Gwen. "Right, you're all ready then?" He leaned across Owen and reached into the glove compartment, pulling out the leather wallet containing all manner of CDs. "I'll keep this."

"Oh, now, hold on!" Owen exclaimed. "Telling us you're staying here so you can do whatever it is you do with Rose is one thing. But taking the CDs!"

"You'll have better things to do than listen to CDs," Jack warned him. "Now you better get going if you're going to make it to Cardiff before night. See ya." He turned and walked away. But Gwen couldn't leave it like that.

"Jack." She ran down the path after him. He turned to look at her. "When did you decide this? You didn't even mention it to me? After last night?"

Jack glanced over his shoulder awkwardly as Rose came out of the house. "Gwen, don't," he said heavily and wearily.

Gwen stared at him. "Jack… what are we supposed to do without you? What am I…" She didn't finish her sentence.

Jack sighed. "I'm sorry."

Gwen nodded. She looked over his shoulder at Rose. "Look after him, yeah?" she said in a much louder voice, forcing some jollity into it. "Make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble!"

"I'll try." Rose nodded. "Safe trip."

"Yeah." Gwen nodded again and returned her gaze to Jack's eyes. "Bye then."

"Bye."

* * *

Later that evening, Rose and Jack stood again, out on the scrub ground to the west of London. They stood back as the familiar whooshing sound started up and the grass blew around as the TARDIS vanished before their eyes. They both stood, looking at where it had been for a few seconds before turning to each other. 

"Just you and me now, kid."

"Yeah."

**End of Part One**


	38. Part 2 Chapter 37

**So here we go... part 2. Things take a turn for the dodgy side in this part... bit more swearing, adult themes etc... not in a totally explicit way, no graphic sex scenes or anything, just some hints at stuff that may not be suitable for younger people... but thats why I've put a T rating on the fic, so there we go!**

**Nearly finished writing Part 2 now so I'll be gamboling onto Part 3 in the next few days hopefully.**

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**Part 2**

"You'd think people would notice, wouldn't you? A bloody great blue box stuck in the middle of Cardiff. You'd think people would notice. But no." Owen shook his head. "Un-bloody-believable."

Gwen had to agree. The Doctor had said the police box was some kind of disguise, but she couldn't help thinking that it couldn't be less of a disguise if it had a big lit-up sign pointing to it saying "I am a timeship and I have an alien inside me". Still, what did she know about aliens? Or people if you wanted to be pedantic.

"Okay. So, are you going to knock or shall I?" She stood outside the TARDIS and felt like a child at school again, sent on a message and being too afraid to knock on the teacher's door.

Owen gestured to his still heavily bandaged arm, which was taking far too long to heal in Gwen's opinion, even with the help of antibiotics and cream from the 71st century which had been languishing in the Torchwood 3 base ever since Owen's last gun related misdemeanor.

"You do have two hands, you know, Owen!" Gwen rolled her eyes and lifted her hand to knock on the front door. Just as the door was flung open from the inside and Jon pushed past them.

"Jon!" Gwen exclaimed. He had a face like thunder on him, and he'd been traveling at great speed out of the TARDIS. He barely even stopped now.

"Gwen! Owen!" At least he seemed genuinely pleased to see them.

"Is your dad in?" Owen asked and Gwen wished it was his tongue he'd been shot in, not his shoulder, as Jon's face fell again.

"The Doctor's in there." He gestured roughly in the still open door. "I'm going out for a bit. See you later."

As soon as he'd turned his back, Gwen gave Owen a slap on his good shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Gwen didn't bother answering as she went in through the door and into the TARDIS. It still blew her away, the sheer size and beauty of it. More obvious at this moment though was the barrage of strange sounds coming from an open grating in the central console. Mixed in with the sounds of banging and a strange alien-like buzzing, was the Doctor's voice. It was definitely him, Gwen would recognize that smooth slightly Londonised accent anywhere. The language however was definitely alien. What he was saying she had no idea, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know anyway.

"Great, a stroppy alien," Owen muttered next to her. "Should have brought a gun."

Gwen ignored him. "Doctor?" she called a little apprehensively. She hadn't spent much time alone with this man, she wasn't entirely sure of herself around him. Still, he was their leader now Jack was gone.

There was a break in the noise and the next second the Doctor's head popped up from underneath the console, and a broad grin took over his face. "Gwen! Owen!" He beamed. "You made it!" He pulled himself out of the hole and dusted his trousers off. "How's the shoulder?"

Before Owen could launch into yet another in depth description of his shoulder, Gwen jumped in with, "We saw Jon on our way in."

The Doctor's smile fell.

"He didn't seem that happy."

He sighed. "We had a bit of an argument," he admitted, and leaned back against the console, studying his battered Converse sneakers.

Gwen had suspected as much. As far as she knew, practically the only interaction father and son had had was that pretty spectacular punch on their first meeting, and Jon's snarled words which the Doctor usually received with good grace. Given that, it had been a brave move on either of their parts to decide that traveling in the TARDIS together was the best way to get here.

Owen picked a mobile phone up off the TARDIS console. It was in bits and the battery was missing.

The Doctor looked at it. "Oh, that's Jon's. I've been trying to fix it up so he can call home. But it's not been as easy, I don't know what it is."

Gwen took her own phone out of her pocket. "Mine was alright."

"I know. Maybe it's to do with us calling them or something, I don't know." He looked exhausted, Gwen realized. This was getting better and better; a stroppy teenager, a knackered Time Lord, Owen injured and moaning every chance he got, and no Jack… and they still had to find Janie.

"Still." The Doctor forced himself to perk up a little. "Now you're here, we can get working, can't we? Where are the others?"

"Tosh and Ianto are down in the Hub, working on tracking Janie down." Gwen inwardly groaned as she remembered the flashing light on the answer machine in the Hub's main office. Clearly someone had been trying to get in touch with them for the last few days since they'd been away. She'd left Ianto to listen to them whilst she and Owen went back up to surface level to collect the Doctor. And Jon, supposedly, but that didn't look too likely now. She hoped he would be okay.

"We better get down there then." The Doctor flicked a few switches on the TARDIS console. "That should keep her here for a bit. Stop her _wandering off_!" He annunciated the last bit more loudly, as though he were speaking for the TARDIS's benefit and not theirs.

"Does that happen a lot then?" Owen glanced at the time vortex, a sceptical look on his face.

"Oh, every now and again." The Doctor shrugged it off and picked up his long cream trench coat from where it had been discarded on the floor. "Anyway. Time we were doing something. Any news so far?"

Gwen and Owen fell into step with him as they walked out of the TARDIS.

"Nothing as yet," Gwen informed him. "Tosh is running some checks for weather activity in the last few days, Ianto's having a look at the rift activity-" She was cut off by the Doctor holding up a hand.

"Sorry? The last few days?" He looked between them both. "You've only been looking at the last few days?"

"Well, yeah." Owen frowned. "We don't know how fast they traveled in that rift, do we, they could have been here in an instant or they could still be stuck somewhere."

The Doctor looked at them both again and rolled his eyes, running a hand over his face. "You mean to tell me you… You really don't get it do you?" He noted Gwen's shocked expression. "Okay, okay, being rude again, I know, I'm sorry, bad Doctor, slap on wrist. But seriously…" He ruffled his hair anxiously. "That rift… the one they traveled through… it's one of the most instable points on the globe, even more than this one."

"I thought you said it was tiny," Owen reminded him.

"Atoms are tiny… doesn't mean they can't pack a hefty punch," the Doctor said darkly. "Those aliens made a fast get away the other night, they didn't have time to set co-ordinates or anything." They still looked at him, completely bewildered. The Doctor resisted the urge to see if Jon's excellent right hook came from his side of the family and tried to speak calmly. Even so, it came out with a sense of urgency. "They could have gone anywhere in time… They could have ended up millions of years ago or millions of years in the future." His face took on a grim expression. "So you better start widening your search to the history of the earth… and the future."


	39. Chapter 38

**Update! Wahey! Still procrastinating on both coursework and writing the rest of this, I don't know what's wrong with me. Though I have found a renewed interest in my coursework as I'm planning to write an article about Doctor Who which might at least keep me vaguely interested. Hopefully. Anyway, here's chapter 38.**

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**Jon had never been to Cardiff back in his own world. It wasn't like he'd cared, they'd been to other places. He couldn't remember his mother ever stating that Cardiff was one place they would not go under any circumstances. It hadn't been a big deal really. But he thought now that maybe it had been. Maybe Rose had never taken them there for a reason. Maybe there were lots of places she hadn't taken them because it just hurt too much. 

He'd learnt a bit about Cardiff from the Doctor. He wouldn't exactly say they'd had a conversation about why they were going there or what they'd do once they'd got there. It had been more a case of the Doctor rattling on at a hundred miles an hour, not letting John get a word in. Still, he'd learnt a bit. Like that Cardiff was sat on top of a major rift, perfect for recharging the TARDIS's batteries and also ripe ground for alien activity.

Anyway, even if he had ever been to Cardiff back home, he doubted it would help him out much here, in this world. For all he knew, all the streets were different and the accents he was hearing weren't really Welsh at all. Maybe this was a very different kind of Cardiff. Either way, Jon knew one thing as he rounded yet another street corner. He was lost.

It hadn't been the brightest thing to do, to storm out of the TARDIS with no idea where he was going or even how to get there. Especially given the reason they were here in the first place; if these aliens were after Time Lords, it probably wasn't entirely safe for him out and about. Being cooped up in there with _him_ was getting a bit much though. The final straw had been over something so pathetic. The Doctor had promised Rose before they left that he'd get Jon's phone up and working as soon as possible so they could stay in touch. It had been almost three days by Jon's watch since he'd last seen his mum and the phone was still lying in pieces on the control panel.

"Jon, I've tried, it's not exactly working." The Doctor had put down his sonic screwdriver and pushed his glasses up on top of his head. "I don't know what it is, it could be the different earth workmanship, or because it's from here to there or... I don't know." He sat back in the chair at the console. "I'll have another look later."

For some reason Jon had felt intense anger building up against him. The Doctor had had eighteen years to do other things, eighteen years when he hadn't a care in the world. He could damn well do this now.

Then he was given the shock of his life.

"And actually it's only been a few years for me."

Jon stared at the Doctor, struck dumb by what he'd said. It was like he'd read his mind…

"It's a Time Lord thing," the Doctor was explaining, though Jon barely heard. "You'll get used to it."

Jon snapped then. "I don't want to get used to it! You can't just read my mind, you can't just walk in here like you own the place-"

"Well, actually, I _do_ own this particular place," the Doctor interjected, but his attempt at joviality wasn't appreciated.

"We were fine before you came along, you know, just fine! And then you turn up and everything goes wrong! And now you can't even be bothered to try and fix my bloody phone!" Jon felt his fist tensing up again and knew he had to get out of there if he was going to keep his promise to his mum. It was the last thing she'd said to him as they said goodbye. It had almost certainly been a joke, to try and stop herself from crying as she'd smoothed his t-shirt down across his shoulders, and reached up to rearrange his hair.

"And don't go hitting your father again," she smiled in spite of her wobbly chin. "He's getting on a bit. Can't handle it like he used to."

Jon didn't know; maybe his mum had known all along that sooner or later, he would want to thump the Doctor again. She knew him after all, she'd traveled with the man for… well, for some time anyway. She knew what he was like.

He'd bolted for the door before he let his fist take control of him. He barely stopped as he collided with Gwen and Owen, apart from to growl a reply to Owen's poorly worded question. His _father_ wasn't in there at all. The man he'd set up in his own mind as his father was a million miles away from the man who couldn't even fix his phone up properly.

He'd wandered for a long time, not sure where he was going. The weather was cooler here than back home. He shoved his hands into his pockets and then awkwardly pulled them out again. The Doctor always had his hands in his pockets. Minutes later, his hands crept back into their warm bolt holes, only for Jon to drag them out again. At a loss for what to do, his hand instinctively crept up to scratch his ear…

"Oh for God's sake!" Jon swore and kicked out at a litter bin, suddenly annoyed with everything. He couldn't even scratch his own bloody ear without feeling like some second-rate clone of his long-lost father. He'd never even noticed his own stupid habits before, the way he always fiddled with his ear when he was anxious or unsure, or the way he ruffled his hair when he was thinking. But he'd known they were there subconsciously, and he'd known they were his. Now it turned out that the whole time he'd just been mirroring the Doctor.

People had glanced round as he shouted out and sent the litter bin rolling across the pavement, scattering crisp packets and cigarette stubs. A mother glanced over at him before hurrying away, holding onto her child's hand tightly. An old woman gave him a fierce glare before scurrying past. Jon felt each stare burning into him and knew he was behaving like a mad man. Sighing heavily, he sank down onto a bench.

The street had cleared pretty quickly with his outburst. Apart from one person. Jon looked across at where a girl of medium build, with chestnut hair, was leaning against a brick wall, hands shoved in her jacket pockets, and her eyes fixed firmly on him, with a twitching smile round her mouth. She eventually sauntered over, the wind whipping the small tendrils of hair that escaped from the bundled pony tail on the back of her head. To Jon's surprise, she sat down next to him.

"That was… some show," she said finally, nodding slowly. "Best I've seen for a while, I have to say, and that's saying something round here." When Jon still didn't reply, she carried on talking, her lilting Welsh voice wrapping itself round her vowels. "I mean, Friday night down on the docks… that's _really_ something to see, but you're doing pretty well for a Wednesday afternoon."

Jon let out a sharp breath and smiled, running a hand over his face. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She reached into her pocket. "Gum?"

Jon shook his head, and watched as she put two sticks into her mouth at once. "Isn't one enough?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, I think it's like some sort of nervous habit thing. My dad's always telling me off for it, he thinks it's a disgusting habit." She chewed thoughtfully for a few moments. "Maybe I just do it to annoy him or something." She shook her head. "Anyway, I just thought I'd come over and congratulate you on the impressive kicking."

"And you've done that, so-" Jon broke off as he realized with a stab of anger that he was even managing to become as rude as the Doctor now. He backtracked quickly. "Sorry, I'm not in the best of moods."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," the girl deadpanned, before letting her eyes stray away to where the bin was rattling around.

Jon had to laugh at that. "Yeah, I suppose it is pretty obvious."

"Bad day?"

Jon snorted. "Bad few days really." Bad life… ever since the Doctor had shown up, all Jon had been able to think about was all the lies his mother had told him. It was tainting his whole life, making it impossible for him to enjoy anything at all.

The girl nodded appreciatively. "Yeah, I get you. Sometimes kicking street furniture is the only way to let it out."

"I don't usually make a habit of this." Jon blushed. "Honestly. I'm not normally a psycho."

"I know." When Jon looked at her sidelong, she grinned. "Well, you wouldn't expect me to come and sit next to someone that I _knew_ was a psycho, would you? Give me a bit of credit!"

Jon smiled again. "Sorry. But really, I'm not usually so… violent." Violence had never been part of his make-up until the Doctor had turned up. He'd never been averse to standing over other guys, using his height to intimidate them, but all out violence had always been more Janie's thing than his.

"Oh, that wasn't violent! I've kicked people harder than you kicked that! That was a joke, by the way," she added quickly. In an undertone, she continued, "They weren't exactly people."

Jon frowned. "What did you say?"

"Nothing much." The girl grinned. "So anyway… you don't sound like you're from round here. What brings you to sunny Cardiff?"

"I'm here with my…" Jon trailed off, before starting again. "I'm sort of traveling with…"

"With?"

"Well, he's sort of my dad."

"Sort of?" The girl was delighting in his vague descriptions. "He either is or he isn't?"

"Well, he is!"

"Right." The girl nodded. "You don't get on?"

"You could say that."

"Me and my dad don't always see eye to eye either. We used to fight like cat and dog."

"Used to?" Jon wondered if she'd give him a few pointers on how not to want to throttle the Doctor every time he moved.

"Yeah." The girl shrugged. "I was just a kid, I grew up. Not that we don't still fight, you know, it's just…" Her eyes took on a faraway look. "I went away for a bit, sort of traveling too. And… it changed things." She shook her head. "Anyway, what am I even saying? What's your name?"

"Jon."

"I'm Abby. Do you fancy some chips?"

Chips. Normality. "I'd love some chips."


	40. Chapter 39

**Bit more on top of life now so another update. Finished part 2 about five mins ago HOORAY! Just part 3/ 8 chapters to go now... though the chapters are getting pretty beasty and big.**

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* * *

**The Doctor knew that, strictly speaking, it wasn't Tosh's fault that she'd been limiting her search to the last few days. In fact, seeing as Owen was in charge whilst Jack stayed back with Rose, it should really be the injured doctor he was ridiculously angry with. Instead, though, he was breathing down the scientist's neck, watching her every move. Unfair, but it was at least making him feel a little better about the fact that he'd been back in this universe two days and hadn't found hide nor hair of his daughter. And to top it all off, now Jon had disappeared somewhere too. 

"You know I'd work a lot better if you'd stop leaning over me!" Tosh finally snapped, having withstood his overbearing looks for over half an hour. "You're making me nervous."

The Doctor straightened up and sighed. "Okay, okay. Sorry. But you're not getting anywhere very fast."

"It's not easy, especially seeing as we're nowhere near the rift. Other data keeps on getting in the way. And we do have other work to be getting on with," she muttered darkly.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. Jack had insisted that the whole of his team would be on side, would do anything they could to help him. It seemed there was a dissenter though.

"Tosh." Gwen cut in before he could with a warning voice. She glanced at her watch. "Why don't you take a break for a bit? Ianto's just made some coffee." Tosh thankfully stood up and left her desk. Gwen fixed the Doctor with a steady gaze.

"What?" His voice came out high-pitched when he spoke again. He recognized that look; it was the same one Rose and Martha and Abby and, for that matter, _all_ his companions had given him. One that said he was taking everything a step too far. That he needed to step back and think about what he was doing. But still he protested his innocence. "What?"

"Shouldn't you be out looking for Jon?" Gwen raised her eyebrows.

"He'll be alright." The Doctor shrugged it off and began tapping in more information to the screen in front of him.

Gwen leaned over and switched the screen off.

"Hey!"

"He's in a strange city, all alone." Gwen didn't even bat an eyelid at his objection. "You should go after him."

"I'm not his mother!"

"No. But you are his father." Gwen suddenly seemed to realize what she was saying and took a step backwards. "Look, sorry, I didn't mean-"

The Doctor straightened up and sighed heavily, something he'd been doing a lot of recently. "No, you're right, I should be looking for my son. At least he can't have gone far. Unlike my daughter." He pulled a face. "You know, that still doesn't sound quite right. Not with these teeth." He made a popping noise with his tongue and then ran it over his teeth. "Still. I'll go and see if I can find him. Keep up the good work!" He faked a smile and, shoving his hands in his pockets, headed out of the Hub and up to the surface.

Just being back in Cardiff again was sending his head spinning. Nine hundred years he'd been doing this, traveling from place to place, and yet somehow Cardiff was the one place that made him need to take a good long deep breath. So much had happened here, with Rose. Their first big trip into the past. Before it had all got messy and domesticated, before he'd had to explain himself to her mother. Before that slap, he thought now, touching his cheek as though he could still feel the sting. The first time he'd told her – or at least _tried_ to tell her how he felt.

_With their backs up against the wall, they stood side by side and watched as the bodies reached through the bars in front of them. He felt awful; he'd picked this young girl up from the twenty-first century and without even thinking had brought to a dungeon in Cardiff in the nineteenth century. And she was going to die._

_"We'll go down fighting, yeah?" Feisty to the last. Rose Tyler. _

_"Yeah." He agreed._

_"Together?"_

_She could never know what that one word meant to him. With more enthusiasm he replied, "Yeah!"_

_Her hand reached out and found its way into his. He'd forgotten what that was like, having someone to hold his hand. He hadn't even realized he'd missed it until he met her. He turned his head to look at her. She really did look beautiful in that dress._

_"I'm so glad I met you." He hadn't entirely expected to say it, but it seemed right._

_She looked at him, surprise in her eyes. "Me too," she replied, and smiled. _

The Doctor could have perused his thoughts all day, remembering every last second of his time with Rose in Cardiff. Both times. He wondered how many more times they'd have come back if…

He was interrupted by the sight of two people walking towards him. They were carrying packets of chips, almost finished. He frowned. He recognized one. Well, it was Jon, of course he'd recognize him, he'd recognize him anywhere now. But the girl with him. It was her hair that caught his eye, glinting in the little sunshine that Cardiff was offering today. Her and Jon seemed deep in conversation. That is, until she saw the TARDIS.

She dropped her chips and darted towards it, instantly forgetting Jon was even there. The Doctor watched as she got to it and walked right the way round it, staring up at the top of it and unable to keep her hands off of it. He was close enough to hear the exchange of words between Jon and the girl.

"Hey!" Jon jogged over to her. "You dropped your chips."

"Yeah, I know." She was still distractedly running her hands over the wood. "I just… this is new, do you know where it came from?"

Jon shrugged, awkwardly. "No, I've… I've never seen it before." He was rubbish at lying, the Doctor realized. Not unlike his father.

The girl shook her head. "It must have come from somewhere." She looked around anxiously. And the Doctor knew it was time he showed his face.

He walked over to them. The girl had her back to him. Jon only noticed him at the last minute.

"Hi Abby."

Abby wheeled round, her hair flying in all directions as it tumbled cheerfully out of her ponytail. It took her only a second to recover from the shock.

"Hi Doctor."

* * *

Abby stared at the Doctor in disbelief. "He's your son? Please tell me you're joking!" 

The Doctor shook his head. "Nope. No joke. Oh, and incidentally, he's got a twin sister, and she's mine too."

Abby sat down heavily in the chair in the console room. She closed her eyes took a few deep breaths before opening them again. "Right. Okay. So you've got two kids, about my age, who you never thought to mention?"

"Oh, I didn't know about them!" he added in a hurry. "They were in this other universe… thing…" He tailed off lamely. "Look, I know it sounds ridiculous-"

"Yeah, you're right, it does." Abby nodded. "But it's you… ridiculous is normal." She grinned mischievously. "Come on, you haven't even given me a hug yet!"

The Doctor smiled in relief and thankfully hugged her. "How have you been?" Usually he hated asking his old friends that; from the few experiences he'd had, with Sarah-Jane and Jack, and even Rose to some extent, he never liked the answer. But Abby was different. Something instinctively told him she was just fine.

"Yeah, I've been good." Abby nodded eagerly. "I'm at university now."

"That's why you're in Cardiff." That explained a lot.

"Exactly!"

"I thought university was the last thing on your mind?"

Abby groaned. "You sound like my dad! Just because you're a daddy now doesn't mean you can go all fatherish on _me_ you know!"

The Doctor smiled again. "Sorry. So… you've been okay since I…?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "God, will you listen to yourself? I told you, I'd be fine! You really do think the world revolves round you, don't you?"

"No! I…" He broke off, unable to defend himself as adequately as he'd hoped.

Abby laughed. "Relax. I'm not going to have a go at you. Jon, however… he's not so happy."

The Doctor humphed. "Trust you to say what you mean."

Abby beamed sunnily. "I try! So, they're Rose's kids, right?"

"How did you know that?"

"Doctor, I lived with you for nearly a month. In that whole time, the only other woman you mentioned apart from Rose was her mother… now I'm guessing Jackie wasn't exactly your type from what you told me."

He laughed again. He'd forgotten how much Abby had made him do that, in between the shouting and arguing. "Not exactly."

The room fell silent as Abby put a stick of chewing gum in her mouth and chewed it over thoughtfully. Eventually she said, "He's not happy, you know. Not at all."

The Doctor sighed. Again. "I know. Did he tell you that?"

"No, not in so many words, but… it's written all over his face. He was kicking the hell out of a litter bin when I met him."

"And you still went over to him?" The Doctor waggled his eyebrows. "What made you do that?"

Abby suddenly shifted her weight awkwardly, and began fiddling with her hair, taking the hairband out to begin retying it. "Oh, I don't know really. He reminded me of someone, no big deal." Clearly the subject was closed. She finished her hair and pulled it tight. Even so, several unruly strands broke loose and trailed across her face. "Anyway. What's going on?"

The Doctor wondered where exactly he should start.

* * *

Having wandered the corridors of the TARDIS restlessly for half an hour or so, trying to make her mind up what to do, Abby decided that she needed to settle on something soon. The Doctor had filled her in on what had happened to Janie and how they were trying to find her, before insisting that he needed to run over to the Torchwood base in order to check on things. Leaving her here with his last few remarks lingering in her head. 

"You know, Abby, you could…" He'd broken off in the way that had so annoyed her when she traveled with him. He was never able to finish a sentence first time round and it drove her insane.

"I could what?" she prompted.

"You could come with us." He looked at her to gauge her reaction. She deliberately left her face blank, which she knew annoyed him. "I mean, you'd be good company for Jon, and you're not stupid-"

"Thanks."

"- And I'd… I'd like to catch up with you properly." He hesitated, before pulling his coat on. "Whatever, let me know. I'll see you in a bit."

It was like he'd forgotten the time they'd already spent together before. They'd ripped strips off each other in the many fights they'd had, calling each other all sorts of names and (Abby suspected) meaning them all at the time. Part of her had felt guilty even at the time; he was still grieving for the loss of this Rose who he barely ever shut up about. She'd lost count of the amount of times he'd turned to her in a half daze saying "Yes, Rose?" He was clearly heartbroken and yet she'd insisted on dragging everything out of him, demanding answers. Not just about Rose, either, but about everything: the Time War, everything. Looking back on the person she'd been there, Abby felt dreadful. Looking at the Doctor now, she wouldn't dare do anything like that. He looked stronger, like he could take it, but she'd changed. He'd changed her.

Stepping foot on the TARDIS again had reminded her of the first time she'd done it. She'd been Abby Dean, eighteen years old and full of it. She'd been kicked out of sixth form college for her unruly behaviour, and her dad was on the verge of kicking her out of home. She hadn't cared. There was life beyond the sheep farm they lived on in mid-Wales, life beyond the boring life he'd mapped out for her. She didn't want to get married and settle down, and eventually take over the farm when her father died. It had seemed a dream come true when this mysterious stranger had offered to take her away from all that and really let her live.

She smiled ironically now. She'd been right after all; there was a life beyond her own. Thousands of them. Billions. Of all shapes and sizes and times and types. She hadn't expected quite so much, as they'd flitted from place to place, planet to planet. She hadn't expected the danger either. She'd known life wasn't all happy and fun, but the things she'd seen with the Doctor still sent shivers down her spine.

And then there'd been the Doctor himself. Before she'd known quite who or what he was, all she'd seen was the exterior. And she'd liked it. He was everything she'd ever dreamt of: handsome, witty, brave, exciting, kind, passionate… She'd been swept off her feet. Then gradually she'd begun pulling him apart, just like she always did with anyone she got close to. She didn't know if it was a genetic flaw in her (her dad was pretty useless in social situations) or just a sick game she played, but ever since she could remember, she'd always used the person closest to her as some sort of scratching post. Ever since Mam had left… It had been after one particularly vicious attack on the Doctor, in which she'd accused him of using her to try and replace Rose in his life, to make himself feel less bad for losing her, that she'd realized it couldn't go on. The hurt in his eyes that night had torn her apart. She'd seen him angry and she'd seen him sad. Sometimes at the same time, like on this one planet (she forgot the name) when he'd seen how these alien-things had been tortured by a group of humans. But she'd never seen him so angry or so sad that he'd been unable to retort with an equally as bitchy comment. He'd left her standing alone in the console room and she hadn't seen him again all night. It was then she knew she had to leave before she hurt him anymore; he'd already been hurt too much. And not only that, she had to sort herself out. She'd jumped on board the TARDIS hoping it would solve all her problems, but as she'd got further and further from home, all she'd found was that the problem was herself.

So she'd gone back home, never telling him why she was going. She'd put on a brave face and hugged him goodbye and gone back to her dad. And she'd tried. For the first time in her life, she'd tried to be good. And it had worked.

So she wondered why he wanted her back on board now. He hadn't exactly fought to keep her before, he'd let her go with barely a protestation in sight. He seemed to be only remembering the good times, the times when they'd been able to keep from fighting for five minutes and they'd clicked. It was like they were jig saw pieces that almost but didn't quite fit; one kept popping out from the other, and no matter how hard you pushed, they just couldn't stay together. It was insanity to try again.

But then there was Jon. And that was a whole different ball game.

* * *

Jon walked into his bedroom on the TARDIS and almost immediately turned to leave again when he saw her sitting on his bed. 

"Oh, Jon, hold on!" Abby protested. "Can't you at least listen to what I've got to say?"

"If it's about him, no not really," Jon retorted darkly, but stayed anyway. He didn't know why; there was something about this girl that had held him captive from the moment he saw her. Stupid really, because she'd already proved she couldn't be trusted.

"Well, it is, and you'll just have to listen to it." She shook her fiery hair defiantly. "I'm sorry, Jon, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I knew your… the Doctor. But it's not exactly the kind of thing you come out and said everyday you know. 'Oh, by the way, I once went time-travelling with a nine hundred-year-old alien.'"

Jon tried to stop his mouth twitching in amusement. He bit his lip hard before glaring at her. "You still should have told me."

"Why? What difference does it make?"

Jon was wondering that himself, but he knew it did. "Because… I thought you liked me for me."

"I did! I do!"

"But I remind you of him, don't I?"

He knew he'd hit the nail on the head as Abby broke eye contact with him for the first time. She looked pained and closed her eyes, her face turning pale for a moment before answering.

"Yeah, okay, I'll be honest. There was something about you that reminded me of him. I don't know what, something about your eyes or… something." She shrugged. "I'm sorry." She glanced up at him. "But the only reason you're talking to me is because I remind you of your mum."

"What?" Jon exclaimed.

"Or your sister. Or someone." Abby fixed him with a challenging stare. "Go on. Deny it."

Jon shifted his feet awkwardly. Eventually he said, "I suppose, maybe a bit you do." He didn't know how; Abby was a completely different build to either Janie or Rose, and her hair was a different colour, and her eyes too. She had that Welsh accent that fell out of her mouth with the cavalcade of words that came rapidly, as though she'd barely given them any thought. She chewed gum with an obsession bordering on addiction. She was nothing like his sister or his mother. And yet she was so like them. Something in her eyes, the way they sparkled teasingly. Something in the curl of her lip and the faint wrinkles round her nose when she laughed. Something in the laughter itself. Abby was just like Rose and Janie.

"Of course I do." Abby seemed to take it all in her stride. "Now, which seems more disturbing to you?" She raised her eyebrows pointedly. "You reminded me of a guy I traveled with, who I had no idea was any relation to you. I remind you of your sister or perhaps even your mother. I know which sounds worse to me."

Jon finally had to smile and he sat down next to her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," Abby interrupted. "It doesn't matter." She hesitated before adding, "He's asked me if I want to stay. Help you out."

"And?" He suddenly wanted her to stay. He wanted someone around who wasn't the Doctor, wasn't some weird alien creature. He wanted normality, he wanted… chips.

"I've said I'll think about it," she replied, standing up. "So I guess I better go and do that." She headed towards the door.

"Abby." She stopped. "How did you know that you reminded me of Mum?"

She shrugged and laughed, but it didn't sound quite real. "Lucky guess."

* * *

Abby bumped into the Doctor as she was heading out of the TARDIS. He paused in the doorway, his eyebrows raised to look at her, hope written all across his face. Abby somehow sensed that whatever was going on down in the Hub hadn't been enough to find Janie. It was in the set of his shoulders, the colour of his skin. The Doctor was losing faith. 

"I'm going to pack," she explained. "I'm coming with you. For a bit."

A smile broke out across his face, and she wanted to hit him for it.

"That's brilliant," he said, and the warmth was there in his voice. He meant it. He wanted her to come. But Abby still wondered why.


	41. Chapter 40

**Irregular update again. Might be a few days between this and the next one, because of catching up on writing... depends what I do on my day off tomorrow, I've got to rewatch a Hamlet film (Mel Gibson version... much derided, but I think its awesome) and run some errands, but don't have much note making to do so might get some of chapter 49 written... I spent much of my three hour Shakespeare lecture today staring out the window and thinking about this story, so I really should get round to writing some!**

**So might be a few days till my next update but I swear that this time it's worth it. Because in chapter 41... we catch up with Janie...**

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**Gwen rubbed her neck and closed her eyes. It was nearly midnight. She should have gone home hours ago. But she was still here, still tapping away at the keyboard in front of her as though it would provide all the answers they were looking for. The Doctor had made it sound all so simple when he'd told them they needed to search the whole of history and the future, like it was just another search they'd need to tap into Google. In reality, it was a lot harder. Each day in history needed to be looked up, needed to be run through moment by moment. Tosh had worked out a programme that would do it for them, looking for any alien activity, and she had all the computers firing at full speed. Even so, she hadn't managed to refine the search down to concentrate on that one rift, and they were getting readings from all over the world. Gwen had sat down to start help sifting through it all over four hours ago and she hadn't moved since. It was only now she'd given herself a small break that she realized how long she'd been sitting there. 

There was work to be done though. She re-opened her eyes and lifted her hands to begin searching again.

"Gwen. Go home."

She jumped. It was so like what Jack usually said to her on such occasions that she was surprised to find it was coming from Owen's mouth, until she remembered that Jack wasn't here and Owen was. Like she could forget it.

"I've just got a few more bits to do," she said wearily and lamely.

"Go home." Owen stared down at her. His eyes were bloodshot; he looked exhausted. Being leader was obviously taking its toll on the usually lively Cockney. "That's an order."

Gwen was about to protest. Somehow being here, at work, where Jack was usually so prominent… it helped. She wasn't sure how, seeing as every time she thought of him, it made her want to either cry or scream. Or laugh. Her head was swimming with thousands of emotions tied up with that stupid man. But being here helped a bit.

Owen, however, didn't seem to care. "You're no good in this state. Go home, see Rhys. Have a bit of normality." The words sounded bitter in his voice. Gwen felt slightly guilty. Since rejecting his advances at the beginning of the week, she'd barely said two words to him. That was strange; for a time, when everything had become confusing and frightening, Owen had been the one she turned to. Now she was treating him like nothing special. Maybe he needed to talk; she'd never asked him what about Diane and why he'd got himself involved with those men. It was the one thing she'd always banged on about at Torchwood: the way in which none of them seemed to know each other properly. They'd started becoming friends, the whole lot of them, she'd thought. And yet she hadn't even tried to understand Owen. Instead, she'd taken the moral high-ground when she'd found out about Diane, demanding to know how he could cheat on her. Double standards or what?  
"Gwen." Owen spoke again when she didn't respond. "Go. Home."

"Okay. I'm going!" She stood up and stretched fully, ironing out the kinks along her back. She reached for her bag. "If anything changes, you call me, okay?"

"Yes." Owen nodded shortly.

"Doesn't matter what time, I'll come."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Oh, come on, Gwen! What are we, twelve?" Owen rolled his eyes. "Just go."

Gwen hesitated and gently touched his arm. "Owen, you know… if you ever want to… talk or something…" She hated herself for doing that. She felt like such a cheat, bouncing from Owen to Jack and back again, sometimes knocking into Rhys. Still, maybe that was normality the Torchwood way.

Owen looked down at her arm and for a moment she thought he was going to accept her offer. His face seemed to shift slightly and she got the overwhelming feeling that there was something for him to tell her, there was something he needed to share. Then he stepped backwards, his face closing down again. "Yeah, whatever. See you in the morning."

* * *

Rhys groaned as Gwen's phone erupted into life. "Oh, you must be joking!" 

Gwen reached out a hand to her bedside cabinet and picked it up. Flashing on the screen was one word: "Owen".

"It's work," she said apologetically. "I've got to take it." She spoke almost mechanically; it had become a stock phrase ever since she'd joined "special ops". Quite what Rhys thought she did there, she'd never dared to ask. It would only mean a whole other bunch of lies, which Gwen was tiring of.

Rhys rolled over and Gwen knew she had a lot to make up to him. This was getting a bit silly, but she had made Owen promise to call her if anything changed. For a brief instant, she considered canceling the call and turning back over to fall back into blissful sleep with her boyfriend. Only if she did that she wouldn't sleep, and even if she did, it would be far from blissful. And then there was Rose… The mere thought of the other woman in the parallel universe made Gwen's mind up and she hit answer.

"Gwen, we've had a change of plan. Can you be here in half an hour?"

Gwen sat up. "Change of plan, what do you mean?"

"The readings… they're not working. So we've decided we might do better if we go to London." There was a slight pause before Owen spoke again. "Gwen? Are you listening?"

Gwen looked at where Rhys was still pretending to sleep. She'd have to leave him again, now, this minute. She hated doing this to him. As if all the other stuff wasn't bad enough, the cheating. With a sudden rush of horror, she realized she'd become a serial cheater. First Owen, now Jack. God, she didn't deserve Rhys.

"Gwen!" Owen's voice thundered down the phone to her.

Gwen sighed. "Yeah okay. I'll come." She hung up and slid out of bed.

Rhys turned back to face her. "Where are you going?"

"Work… something's come up."

Rhys looked at her incredulously. "It's three in the bloody morning! You only came home two hours ago!"

"I know, and I'm sorry." Gwen wasn't sure she had the energy for this right now. She didn't seem to have the energy for anything at the moment, ever since Jack had said he was staying behind. Somehow, the anger she felt at that punched a bit more life into her. "I'm sorry, Rhys, but I've got to go." She picked up her still unpacked suitcase from the floor. "I might be gone a while."

"You're going away again?" Gwen felt every syllable of Rhys's words like it was a slap in the face.

"Yes," she answered shortly.

"Just like that?"

"Yes."

"Gwen, this is crazy, they can't just drag you out of your bed at night and demand you go… where are you even going?"

"London." It made sense, she supposed. Maybe once they were within spitting distance of the rift, they might be able to lock their co-ordinates more accurately or something. Tosh would know what she was doing.

"London? You only just came back from there!"

"Did I? I suppose I did." Gwen shook her head. She could have sworn she'd told him the course was in Bristol, but if she'd said London, she wasn't going to argue. "I'm sorry, Rhys, but this can't wait."

"But I can?" He looked hurt and she hated herself for it. "Gwen, we need to talk."

"Rhys, let's not do this now!" Gwen snapped, losing her cool suddenly. "Not now, I don't have time."

Rhys looked at his girlfriend long and hard. Gwen felt like he could see right through her, see everything written across her soul. Then he lay back down.

"I'll call you," she said softly as she closed the door. "I love you." It was a desperate statement, thrown out with little thought. There was no reply. She didn't really expect one.

* * *

"So. London." The Doctor seemed inordinately pleased with himself as he rocked backwards and forwards in his rubber-soled shoes. "Don't know why I didn't think of it before, get up close, harness the power of the rift and Bob's your uncle!" He looked at Gwen's suitcase. "Are you bringing all that?" 

Gwen wasn't in the mood for over-excited Time Lords. "I thought we were going soon," she said, looking across at Owen. "Has Ianto gone to get the SUV?"

"Actually…" Owen scratched the back of his neck. "About that… we're not taking the SUV."

Gwen blinked. "Sorry. What?"

"We're… we're not taking the SUV," Owen repeated more confidently.

"Then how are we getting there?" Gwen asked, with a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach as Owen's eyes strayed towards the Doctor.

"We're taking the T-A-R-D-I-S." The Doctor grinned. "Jump aboard." He disappeared inside.

Gwen glared at Owen. "Are you serious? We're going on board… that." She pointed at the seemingly innocuous police public call box in front of them.

"He insisted." Owen shrugged.

Gwen was too tired to argue. The last thing she wanted to do was to step inside that timeship again, walk the corridors that Jack had, involve herself in anything else abnormal. She couldn't help longing for her own bed, curled up next to Rhys, forgetting all this alien stuff. But it seemed she had no choice. She thrust her suitcase towards Owen.

"You can carry this, then."


	42. Chapter 41

**Wooo, finished writing chapter 49, so only 5 more chapters and an epilogue to go. I'm torn between loving the story and really just wanting to get it finished now. **

**Key phrase for this chapter: not what you think. I'll let you decide what to think of that.**

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**The wall hit Janie and momentarily knocked any remaining breath out of her body. It was strangely comforting though; it felt like she'd been swimming forever through that blinding light, so to find herself slammed against a solid brick wall, grazing her palms in the process… well, Janie could think of worse things that could have happened to her. 

It took her a few seconds to collect herself. Literally. Her stomach was a few seconds later than the rest of her in reaching where she was, and a wave of nausea came over her as it caught up. She leaned against the wall as she recovered her breath. At first she took little notice of her surroundings. All she'd noticed so far was that she was free. She couldn't remember exactly when in the light she'd found both her arms disentangled from those… Her stomach churned again as she thought about what had so recently had itself attached to her. At some point though, they'd separated and all that remained of them now were two sore rings around her wrists.

For a few minutes, Janie considered giving in to her racing heart and scrambled thoughts, and curling up in a ball right there and then. Then reason and self-preservation took over. Those things that had wanted her for… well, whatever, they wouldn't give up just because they'd been separated. They struck Janie as the persevering type. So waiting right here, where she'd eventually ended up wasn't exactly the brightest idea. She needed to get away from here and… and what? Find help? Janie gave in briefly again to her fear. Because what help was she going to find? She didn't even know where she was.

Time to be logical. That was never Janie's strong point, she usually left that to Jon. But Jon wasn't here… that upset her more than she was willing to admit right this second, even to herself. Her big brother wasn't there to look after her. Still, she was eighteen, she was a woman now. She could do this.

It was dark. That was obvious, because she couldn't see much beyond where she was standing. Her eyes were adjusting a little, but not a lot. There was no light anywhere, it was like she'd been locked up somewhere. Again. But this wasn't some underground hideout, this was outside. She was sure it was, because she could feel a light breeze on her face and it even smelt like outside. She could hear the drip of water off what she supposed must be a roof, and as she moved her feet, she disturbed puddles. So. Dark. Outside. Raining. All very helpful. Janie couldn't help thinking that logic was very overrated.

A loud noise suddenly cut across her thoughts and made her gaze up, startled, as red lights flashed across the sky. At almost the same instant, she felt a hand grab her wrist, squeezing on the still tender marks those things had made.

"What are you doing out here? Are you crazy?" Janie dragged her attention away from the sky to focus on a young man in front of her, wearing a very-dated looking soldier's uniform. There was terror in his eyes which she could see as they reflected the lights overhead. "Come on!"

She hesitated, throwing her weight against his as he made to drag her away. Not again. She wasn't going to be taken in by an imposter again.

The man turned to look at her again, and as he did so, Janie jumped at the sound of an explosion. It wasn't very near, but it still lit up the sky and by its light she was able to see the man more clearly. Or boy, she realized. He didn't look much older than her, in fact, she'd have hazarded a guess that he was younger by a year or two. Panic and fear was written all over his face.

"Come on!" His voice sounded less strong this time, more wheedling, and Janie supposed it was this that made her final decision for her. Those things that had held her captive… they'd never begged her, never asked or pleaded with her to do something. This boy wasn't one of them.

So she followed him as he ran frantically down the street, his footsteps drowned out by loud explosions nearby and the roar of engines overhead. Janie ran blindly, unable to see much apart from when the sky lit up with another loud bang. In those moments of illumination she was able to catch a few glimpses of what she was running past. Boarded up shops. Houses shrouded in silence. The occasional gutted building. Confused as she was, a dry thought crossed her mind: _Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore_.

She crashed into the back of the boy suddenly as he stopped dead in front of her. He opened a small boy and gestured into it. Janie hesitated again. A basement. Or a cellar. Despite the noises all around her, and the shakiness in her legs from the recent activity, she was reluctant to descend into yet another underground hiding place. She'd only just escaped from one.

"Get in!" His voice was still anxious. "Please! Go in!" He gave her a pretty forceful shove with that, and she found herself tumbling into the doorway. She staggered and then pulled herself upright, as the boy pulled the door shut behind him with a bang.

The air down here was thick with smoke, but at least there were a few lamps and candles, although Janie wasn't sure that fire and gas was really the best combination. She looked round and slowly became aware that everyone in the cellar was looking at her. It was mostly soldiers, but there were a few women in there too, wearing pretty feminine dresses. In the background, she could hear the strains of music, sounding scratchy on an old record player. She even recognized the tune. Her mum played it all the time, even though she was far too young to remember it from the time it came out. She couldn't quite remember the name; something to do with moonlight.

No one spoke for a long time, and even with the background music, and the sounds outside, it was strangely quiet down in this cellar. Janie shifted her weight uneasily from foot to foot. She was aware she looked sort of out of place here. She'd been wearing the same clothes for the past three days or so; she sort of lost track of time since those things got hold of her, but she knew she'd been wearing her jeans for too long. Her hair was greasy and hung in matted strands down her back. Her Converse shoes were soaked from where she'd run through puddles, and she knew for a fact that all her carefully applied make-up had either wiped clean away, or was lingering in messy streaks across her face. In all honesty, she'd have expected to have drawn great attention anywhere. But she was doubly aware of it here.

Finally someone broke the silence.

"Where did you find her?" A soldier with his arm around a young woman asked, frowning. Janie instantly disliked him. He had dark hair swept back off his face, and a gaunt mean face. She could tell too from the way he held his chin that he thought he was handsome. The curl of his lip when he looked at her, in disgust, however, rather undid that effect.

"She was outside, sir." The boy who had brought her here replied. Janie could see his chest moving quickly as he struggled to regain his breath, but he was standing upright and trying to appear unruffled. "I thought I ought to bring her in, sir."

The soldier looked back at her again, his eyes traveling up and down her, and making Janie feel more aware than ever of her appearance. "Who is she?" He threw the question back at the boy, much to Janie's annoyance.

The boy shrugged, before obviously remembering he was speaking to a senior officer. "I don't know, sir. She was just… standing."

"Who are you?" The soldier suddenly barked at Janie herself. "Where've you come from?"

Janie took a deep breath and lifted her chin before replying. He was a bully, that's all he was. She could read it in his every move, the way he had his arm firmly placed round the woman's shoulders. And bullies responded to strength, or at least that's what she'd always heard. Not that she'd had much chance to put that into practice; Janie had never been bullied in her life.

Still, she found it a struggle to get her first words out. "I'm… I'm…Janie Tyler. I come from London."

The soldier's frown intensified. "London? This London?"

Janie hadn't even been aware she was in London. She nodded. "Yes. London, England." Was there another London that she'd never bothered to learn about? She hated geography. And history come to that.

"Maybe she's a spy." Janie turned to stare at another soldier in shock. She assumed it was a joke, but from the looks on all their faces, she began to suspect that maybe they were serious.

The first soldier got up and walked towards her. He was tall, as tall as Jon at least, and he dwarfed her. He looked down at her; Janie couldn't help quailing a little as she looked up into his black eyes. "Are you a spy?" he asked, and Janie sensed that the wrong answer could possibly be the end of any sort of niceties she'd been shown so far.

"Oh, like she's going to tell you if she is!" An American accent cut across the cellar, breaking the tension. "Leave her alone, Christian, she's just a kid. She's not a spy."

Christian seemed to pull himself up at the sound of the voice. He stepped backwards. "I'm just checking!" he protested, but he returned to his place.

Janie searched through the people in the cellar, sitting and standing, to find the source of her salvation. Somehow, she just knew who it was when she saw him. He looked American, and she didn't even know what she meant by that. He was standing apart from the others, leaning against a wall, a lighted cigarette in his hand. He was good looking, she supposed, with dark hair and a large forehead. His jaw was square and he had full lips. There was a strange quality to his eyes though, which Janie couldn't quite describe. Empty was the closest she could come to it.

As everyone's attention drifted away from her, she made her way over to him, slightly shyly. She knew she looked a mess, and looking a mess in front of attractive members of the opposite sex was not what Janie Tyler did. She didn't have much option though, and if there was one thing her mum had managed to teach her, it was to always say thank you when someone helped you out.

She reached him and looked up. He was very good-looking, she realized, close up, and she managed to find a smile from somewhere in her rapidly diminishing resource of energy. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He took a drag on his cigarette. "Don't mind Christian too much. He's just doing his job." It seemed the conversation was closed, but Janie wasn't used to conversations finishing on someone else's terms.

"Well, anyway, thank you," she persisted. "I thought I was in real trouble there!" To her amazement, she even managed a tinkling laugh. Laughter hadn't been high on her agenda recently.

"You'd have been in more trouble if you'd stayed outside." The man suddenly looked at her again. "Do you people just not hear the sirens or something?"

Janie frowned. "Sirens?"

He raised his eyebrows. "What are you, deaf? The air raid sirens. You can hear them all over the city!"

Air raid sirens. Janie looked around the room again. She turned back to the man by her side. "Air raid sirens? Sorry, where am I?"

"London. You said you lived here?" he reminded her, doubt creeping into his voice now.

"Yeah, I do, only…" Janie looked round again. The clothes, the hairstyles, the music, the apparent lack of knowledge that smoking killed. She knew she was about to sign her own certificate of madness, but she needed to know. "What's the date?"

"April fifteenth."

"But what year?"

He looked at her closely. "You're kidding, right?" When her expression didn't change, his frown deepened, but his voice became quieter. "You're not kidding. It's nineteen-forty-one."

Janie's knees finally buckled underneath her and he reached out quickly and caught her.

"Hey, easy." He didn't make a fuss about it. Janie was glad; she really didn't want the whole of the cellar crowd to see her faint clean away. He helped her to sit down gently on the floor in the corner, and then crouched down next to her. "Would you like something to drink?"

"I'd prefer a cigarette," she said boldly.

He grinned, and even in her blurry state, Janie upgraded him from very good-looking to gorgeous. He felt in his pocket and produced a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. He lit it and then handed it over to her.

"Don't tell everybody. They're hard to come by."

Janie took a long drag and coughed violently. Yep, cigarettes were definitely stronger in those… these…oh, in the war. With a trembling hand, she knocked the ash off the end and tried to concentrate.

"Nineteen-forty-one. So all of that, outside," she gestured with her free hand. "The explosions, and the planes and… that would be…"

"The war."

"The Second World War?"

He pulled a face. "Oh, I don't know if we'd call it that exactly."

"But against Germany, right? The Nazis? Hitler?"

The man gave her a warning look as her voice rose. Janie winced; she supposed that shouting out "Hitler" in these circumstances would be likely to produce the same reaction as wearing a Chelsea shirt in the Arsenal end of the ground. "Yeah, all of that." He peered at her curiously. "Have you hit your head or something?"

Janie rubbed her forehead and found it was aching. She was exhausted suddenly; she'd barely slept at all since she'd been taken away. "Yeah. Maybe," she agreed in a distant voice. She closed her eyes. "I'm so tired," she admitted.

The man nodded, and a slightly wistful look came over his face. "Yeah. Aren't we all?" He sat down next to her, his back against the wall. "This could go on for a while." He nodded towards outside. "Sleep often helps to pass the time."

Janie looked around in disdain. "Here?" The cellar was the most unwelcoming place she'd ever seen. Well, second most. Nothing would ever top that horrible underground cave those things had hidden her away in.

"There's worse places," the man insisted. He looked uncomfortable for a second before adding, "Would it help if I…?" Gingerly, he moved his arm round her shoulders so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

Janie blushed. "Um, thanks." She didn't quite give in just yet though. She was known as a bit of a flirt back home, but she'd never let anyone call her easy and get away with it.

He looked appalled suddenly. "Sorry, I haven't even introduced myself yet."

"Oh, that's okay!" Janie lied.

"No, it's not. If there's one thing my mother always taught me, it's be polite. What was your name? Janie, did you say?"

"Yeah. Janie Tyler."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Tyler. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."


	43. Chapter 42

**I'm so evil... I'm gonna keep you hanging on Janie's fate... just a bit longer. Back to the Doctor and Jon today, and then next time we swing back over to see exactly what Rose and Jack have been doing since we've been gone. Oh yes, I'm now a voice-over on a dodgy daytime soap as well as a wannabe novelist and occasional English student...**

**(Btw for anyone who cares... I sat in front of Simon Callow who played Charles Dickens in The Unquiet Dead at a play yesterday... in fact, he nearly fell on top of me and my mum as he climbed over chairs. Nice Saturday afternoon jaunt!)**

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**"I've never been to London." You had to hand it to Abby. She was still being incredibly chipper about everything, as they sat in Kensington Gardens on a chilly damp evening in early September. They'd been in London for three days, trying to link their equipment up to the Rift in the hope that it would finally solve the burning question on all their lips: where on earth was Janie? Though no one had said it out loud, it was clear from their tone of voice and the slump in their shoulders that they were all aware that time was running out. 

Yet still, Abby was trying to lift their spirits with a bit of light talk whilst Tosh and Ianto continued their losing battle with the scanners, and the Doctor looked on with increasing annoyance on his face.

"Really?" Gwen looked at the girl in amazement. "Never?"

"It's a bit of a hike from north Wales!" Abby pointed out. "And Dad couldn't leave the farm… you know, it kind of dropped to the bottom of the list."

"But what about with the Doctor?" Jon pressed her. He still wasn't using the name that he should be for this man in his life, but he was at least able to talk of him without wanting to spit. It was strange; since Abby had joined them, and they'd come here, he'd felt a sort of calm settle over him, as though now they were actually _doing_ something, his need to settle a score with the man who was supposed to be his father had died down. Not that he was about to let the Doctor see him with his defences down.

"Oh." Abby let her gaze flicker over to where the Doctor was standing, hands in the pockets of that long beige trench coat that she hated with a passion. "He was never into London much. Would never bring me here." She knew why. London was the scene of too much for him. Meeting Rose. Meeting Jack. Losing Rose. London wasn't even on his agenda as far as his travels with her were concerned. She shrugged. "Can't complain though. I got to see the Randa Galaxy in the seventy-fifth century. They had good chips there."

"Is that all you ever think about?" Gwen laughed.

Abby had to smile too. "Well, good chips are hard to come by. Especially where I used to live, it was a good five mile walk to the nearest village. Chips are underappreciated you know. Totally and utterly."

"And chewing gum?" Jon asked, as she got one of her many packets out of her pocket.

"Chewing gum you can pick up at the petrol station," Abby reminded him, as she offered it round. "I used to hitch a lift with one of the farm hands when he took the tractor." She was about to continue with a description of the farmhand, when an elated shout from Tosh made them all turn their attention back to the job at hand.

"That's it! Power!"

"Is that all?" Owen complained almost instantly. "I thought it was something serious! You nearly got shot!" He replaced his gun back into his belt with an air of disappointment. As if to prove a point, he then proceeded to rub his own shoulder, supposedly unconsciously. It had healed up perfectly, not even leaving a scar, much to his distress.

"What do you mean, is that all?" Gwen ran forwards. Tosh's laptop was suddenly full of life, the screen flickering with dozens of images. "Is it working?"

Tosh nodded eagerly as she pressed a few buttons, her eyes trained on the screen. "That's it!"

"How did you get it working?" Gwen asked. For the past few days, all they'd heard from the scientist was that it was nigh on impossible to expect anything to work in these conditions.

"I didn't exactly," Tosh replied, looking a bit shame-faced. "It was Ianto."

They all looked at the quiet Welshman in surprise. He shrugged. "Nothing to it."

"What did you do?" Abby asked, her eyes shining with curiosity.

"I realigned the temporal matrix," Ianto said, fiddling with the buttons on his coat as he spoke.

"Meaning?" Jon asked, frowning.

"You gave it a good boot, didn't you?" Abby guessed, a grin spreading across her face when Ianto nodded. "Brilliant! Works every time! So, are we on course now then?"

"This should speed things up." Tosh nodded. "Less interference from other sources, I've been able to refine it to this small area of the world. But the whole of history… it could still take some time."

Abby felt Jon slump down beside her again. His muscles had tensed when Tosh had given her cry of joy, but now he seemed as depressed as before they'd come to London. She turned to him.

"You okay?"

He shrugged. "You know. Okay. It's just… she's still out there, Abby. Somewhere. And we're just… just _sitting_, doing nothing. Making jokes, talking about chips…"

"She'll be okay," Abby insisted. "The Doctor will make it okay." That she believed completely and truly. Despite her own personal internal quarrels with him, the Doctor was as good as his word. He'd said he'd find Janie, and she knew he wouldn't rest until he did. He was that sort of man.

Jon forced a smile. "I guess." Abby reached out her hand and linked her fingers through his.

They both jumped when Tosh gave another yelp.

"Have you found something?" Gwen asked, even as Owen's fingers twitched for his gun again. She didn't know what was wrong with him lately, every loud noise had left him quivering and ready for action. It was probably the whole lack of sleep thing combined with too much of Ianto's special brew of coffee. There was a possibility it could be something more deep-rooted she knew, she never gave Owen enough credit for his depths, preferring to think of him as a shallow legs-and-breast fan with an enthusiasm for guns. But she didn't have time to go into that right now; one day maybe she'd be the friend he so badly needed, but not right now.

"Yes, I think so…" Tosh pressed a few buttons. "A lot of activity at one point… look at the readings." She pointed to the screen where they could see a green line, like that on a heart monitor, sudden crackle into life at a particular point. She zoomed in. "See? It's massive."

"Let's have a look." The Doctor pushed past them all, slipping his glasses on. "That's some activity, all right. Look at it go!" He sounded excited for a moment, marvelling at the sight in front of him, before frowning. "Any way we can tell what sort of activity though? Alien or human?"

Tosh pursed her lips. "Not easily. What I could do though is…" She glanced over at Jon.

Jon shifted uncomfortably. "What? What can you do?"

"I could do a DNA search. It would be quicker, we'd be able to hunt Janie down much faster."

Jon frowned. "How does that involve me?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "You're her brother. Her _twin_ brother. Your DNA's virtually identical."

"It wouldn't involve a blood test or anything." Owen began explaining. "Just some skin cells, some hair or something. I could knock it out in about an hour."

Jon stared around at them incredulously. "An hour? You want us to stand around here and wait for an hour so you can decide whether or not Janie's involved in this 'activity'? It would take, what, a few seconds to nip along there and find out for ourselves!"

"We can't just go rushing into things-" The Doctor started.

"Why not? From what Abby's been telling me, you're _always_ rushing into things!" Jon exploded. Abby pulled a face and shot the Doctor an apologetic glance. Jon turned his attention back to Toshiko. "When did the activity happen?"

Tosh answered without thinking. "About 1700, but-"

"Fine. 1700 it is then!" Jon stood up and stalked away.

"Jon!" The Doctor called after him, a frown overtaking his face. "Where are you going?"

Abby scrambled to her feet. "He's probably just working off some steam, he's under a lot of stress at the moment. I'll go after him."

"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid!" Owen growled. He'd had enough of the atmosphere between the Doctor and Jon; nearly a week in, it was getting a bit old. "Tosh, keep working on it."

"Here." Abby threw her jacket towards Owen. He looked at it in surprise, as she stood there, rubbing her bare arms against the damp air. "It's got some of Jon's hairs on it, try and see if you can run a test on them." She turned and ran up the pathway, back to where they'd left the TARDIS this morning.

Jon was already at the console when she walked in, striding round like a madman, flicking switches and pulling levers. Abby closed the door behind her and walked up the ramp. He'd discarded his coat on the floor and she picked it up.

"Jon, what are you doing?" she asked, trying to keep the note of panic out of her voice. This was unlike him; he looked like he had the morning she'd met him, only ten times more deranged and angry. She hadn't seen him so worked up since then. She hadn't seen him so animated either.

He didn't reply, pressing more buttons and pulling and pushing more levers. The TARDIS creaked horribly, and Jon glowered. "Oh, calm down!" he snapped, not at Abby, but at the timeship.

"Jon?" Abby prompted him. She knew where she'd seen this kind of manic activity before. The Doctor. Something told her that that didn't exactly bode well for her.

Jon finally answered her, looking slightly irritated to be having to explain himself. Yep, pure textbook Doctor. Abby wished Jon could see it himself, it might finally force him to admit that the Time Lord was his father.

"If they're not going to do anything, then I will." And the weird cryptic answers. Abby found herself transferring some of her anger towards the Doctor onto Jon, and then remembering and pulling herself up short.

"Jon?" she tried again, as he flicked a few more switches and the TARDIS juddered. She caught hold of the handrail. "Jon, whatever you're doing, can you please stop?"

"They're just sitting round, _waiting_!" Jon growled, still fiddling with the console. "Waiting while my sister could be being tortured or dying or anything!" He shook his head defiantly. "I can't do that!"

"So what are you doing?"

"I'm going to find her myself." As he twisted a knob, the time vortex began moving.

Abby stared at him wide-eyed. "But Jon! You don't know how! You've never learnt to fly the TARDIS!"

"I'm a Time Lord, right? And Time Lords can fly these things. So I'm doing what Time Lords do." He frowned and picked up the hammer that was always lying around the control panel. "Now if I do… _this_!" He hit something and Abby hung onto the rail as the TARDIS made the familiar sounds and she felt it moving.

Jon grinned. "1700 here we come!"


	44. Chapter 43

**Oh so many reasons why I love this chapter and always will. This has been planned for a very long time before the intervening bits... I pretty much knew from the start that Jack and Rose would be left in the other world together, and I wanted some scenes with them coming to terms with what happened on the Gamestation etc. I love Jack more and more daily and I just wanted him to have a real emotional storyline in this. **

**Then I was driving one day listening to Robbie Williams's album "Intensive Care" and I just KNEW that the song "Please don't die" was made for this. It just seemed to fit perfectly in my mind. So here it is. There's even a bit of pop-culture humour if you look in the right places...**

**(Having said I love it, I'll always accept anything you feel would improve it.)

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The house was so quiet without them that Rose at first wished she had taken up her mum and dad's offer to stay with them. It was with a sudden start that Rose realized she'd never lived on her own. At least if she'd stayed with Jackie and Pete there would have been other people to keep her company and distract her thoughts from the twins if only for a little while. Someone other than Jack who was rubbish company at the moment, even worse than Rose herself. She wondered why he'd decided to stay behind with her; Jack loved action and doing things. She couldn't believe he'd chosen to hide away instead. Because hiding was what it was. He wasn't like the Captain Jack Harkness she'd once known. He wasn't even the same Jack who had barged into her house on the twins' birthday. Part of Rose wanted to shake him, demand he become her old friend again, flirting with her mum and making suggestive comments to every man, woman and alien in sight. She'd lost too many friends. But then the other more mature half of her left him alone. She didn't have the energy anyway.

She took extended leave from work, using the sick note Owen had produced for her. He'd presented it just before they left, looking much more unsure of himself than Rose had come to expect from the sarcastic cockney.

"It's signed." He'd gestured towards his signature. "Authentic doctor's handwriting and everything. Use it if you want. Don't if you don't, I don't mind, I just thought…"

"Thanks." Rose smiled. It had been a god send; the morning after she hugged her son goodbye, the last thing she'd felt like doing was going into work. It had been three weeks now, and she hadn't set foot into the office since that last day with Jack and the Doctor. She wondered if she ever would again, whether it would be fairer to Alexander and all the rest of them if she just resigned. She'd mentioned as much to Pete.

"I'd wait a bit, love," he'd advised. "You might need that job. Janie and Jon could walk back through the door tomorrow and then where would you be? You can't live off air, you know?"

He was right, of course he was right. But Rose couldn't help feeling that even if the Doctor brought their children back safe and sound, even if everything returned to normal… she didn't want to go back to that job. She didn't know what she wanted to do but not that, not any more. If Jack had been saying much to her, she would have half-teasingly asked if there was room for another one on his Torchwood, or if he'd like a parallel universe version set up. As it was, they were living in the same house, but for most of the time, they might just as well have been light years apart.

Until one evening that is. Rose had gone through her usual day to day life, of endlessly tidying and cleaning the house. If she gave herself a chance to empty her mind and begin thinking about what was really happening, she suspected she'd be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Now she was sitting down, curled up on her sofa, staring mindlessly at the television, hoping there would be something good enough to distract her attention. She was stuck with some ridiculous DIY show though.

Jack wandered in. He didn't say anything for a while, but stood at the side of the sofa, hands in pockets and looking at the television. Rose had long ago given up trying to engage him conversation, and so ignored him until he finally spoke.

"Are you watching this?"

She looked up. "No, not really."

"Good. We're going out." He walked over to the television and turned it off. "Go and get changed."

Rose looked down at her baggy and torn jeans and the stained sweatshirt she pretty much lived in these days. They were rather disgusting, and if they were going out, she supposed she ought to put something else on. "Where are we going?"

"Out, somewhere, anywhere." Rose could see the inactivity had been playing with his mind now. Energy seemed to be rippling from him, barely contained, as he walked backwards and forwards. "I can't stand another night cooped up here, I want to go out."

Rose stood up. If she was honest, Jack's behaviour was worrying her a little. He seemed suddenly like a caged animal, just dying for freedom, and she wondered what would happen once they got outside these four walls. But then again, this was how she'd wanted him to be.

"But what are we going to do?"

"Whatever you want." He shrugged theatrically. "We could do dinner, or we could…" Like a lightbulb had been switched on, he grinned. "We'll go dancing!"

Rose looked at him slightly shocked. "Dancing? Now?"

"Yep! Dancing!" He seemed so pleased with his idea that Rose didn't like to bring him crashing back down to earth, but she was hurt. Had he completely forgotten everything that had happened in the last few weeks? Whatever else she could ever have said about Jack, he was never insensitive.

He suddenly seemed to backtrack. "Look, I know it seems a bit wrong," he said, in a much quieter voice. "What with Janie and Jon and everything. But-"

"It's okay," Rose interrupted. "Maybe a night out is just what I need. I'll go and get ready."

* * *

It was a Tuesday night. They weren't able to find anywhere open with a dancefloor. That hadn't stopped Jack though, or Rose for that matter. After a few vodka shots, on an empty stomach, she'd giggled with careless abandon as he'd swept her into a stylish waltz across The Dog and Duck floor, to the strains of Come on Eileen. The only thing that had stopped them was when Jack tripped over a stool backwards and they collapsed into a hysterical pile on the floor. Even when they were escorted off the premises, they were unable to keep the smiles off their faces for long. 

"God, it's been _years_ since I was thrown out of anywhere," Rose finally managed to say, after controlling her giggles. Her sides ached from laughing; she couldn't remember the last time that had happened either. It wasn't that she'd forgotten Jon and Janie, but more that they'd been pushed so far back in her mind that she wasn't able to locate them through the alcoholic fog that had descended upon her.

"Yeah, me too." Jack had to grin as Rose looked at him doubtfully. "Okay, okay, it's been weeks."

Rose grinned. "Sounds more like the Jack I know and love. Hold on a second, my feet are killing me." She leant against the Captain as she pulled the shoes off her feet. "How Janie goes out in these, I have no idea." She grimaced as a piece of skin came away from her heel. "Oh, yuck! She's going to kill me when I give these back to her."

"Come on, you can't walk home like that." Jack didn't wait for a response from her before he'd picked her up, accompanied by a giggled scream. "Rose Tyler, I think you might be drunk," he teased.

"Maybe just a bit." She grinned.

Jack grinned back. He was glad she was drunk, if it meant that that gorgeous smile that could light up a room would stick around longer. He hadn't exactly known what he was doing when he'd suggested they should go out tonight, but he was pleased he had now. It seemed to have helped her a little.

They caught a taxi back to Rose's house. Rose wandered in, rubbing her temples and wobbling even in her bare feet.

"I'm going to put the kettle on," she decided. "Fancy a cup of tea?"

"Oh come on, Rose!" Jack exclaimed. "The night is young! Let's keep the party going!"

"I don't keep alcohol in the house."

Jack gave her a pitiful look. "Rose, you live with two teenagers. Of course there's alcohol in the house. Wait right here." He thundered upstairs and Rose heard him pottering about. She leaned against the wall and waited for him. Finally, he returned, brandishing a broad smile and two bottles of wine.

"See! Told you!" He waved them at her. "Found them in Janie's room."

"Janie?" Irrationally, Rose felt her heart beat quicker. Her daughter had been kidnapped by a bunch of aliens, dragged through a gap in time and all to fulfill some ancient legend of sacrifice; she should be worrying about that and not Janie's secret stash of alcohol. And yet she did. Old habits died hard.

"I'll replace them, don't worry." Jack either deliberately or genuinely misunderstood her.

"I'm not worried." Rose walked towards the kitchen. "I'm still having a cup of tea."

"You don't know what you're missing!" Jack called after her, trying to sound enticing.

Rose smiled as she flicked the switch on the kettle. She knew exactly what was missing; she recognized those wine labels. Her mother was a firm fan, and many a hangover had been attributed to those cheap wines. Tea would do her just fine.

When she returned to the living room, she found he'd put a CD on and was using an already half empty wine bottle as a microphone as he sang along. She watched in amusement for a few moments; she'd forgotten how amusing Jack could be after one too many drinks.

"'And I'll be your gay friend, cause your marriage never ends!'" he sang along.

"Very apt," Rose remarked dryly and picked the CD case up. "Robbie Williams! I thought you hated him!"

"Not hate, exactly." Jack looked embarrassed momentarily, though whether at being caught singing, or being caught singing along to Robbie Williams, Rose wasn't sure. Thinking about it, it was probably the latter; Jack had never had a problem with performing in front of people. It was probably his cool-ometer taking a beating. "He just wasn't high up on my list of favourites."

"You threatened to snap my CD into tiny pieces if you ever heard it ever again," Rose reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed at the memory. "Well you did play it every day. Angels morning for three months…" He pulled a face.

"Yeah, I know," she conceded, laughing. "Hey, I recognize this CD! Mickey bought me it that last Christmas before we came here. I never got round to listening to it and then I left it on the TARDIS." In some ways, that had been one of the worst things about coming here. For her mum more than her; leaving everything behind. She knew Jackie missed the photos of her daughter when she was younger.

She ran her eyes down the track listings. "Am I missing much?"

"It's Gwen's." Jack shrugged. "She listens to it a lot."

"Meaning you listen to it a lot?" Rose raised her eyebrows, wondering if Jack would finally let her in on what exactly his and Gwen's relationship was. She knew she hadn't imagined the looks and electricity between them, but she'd never seen any firm proof that there was anything there. The probability was that there was something there; Gwen was pretty, Jack tended to like things like that.

"She has it on a lot at work." Jack shrugged again. Then he changed his tone, and the topic was obviously closed. "Anyway, why didn't you buy a copy when you got here?"

"He never really made it big in this world."

"Oh. Gary Barlow?"

"Jason Orange."

"Seriously?" Jack looked at her disbelief, and then took another swig of wine, as though he needed it to get over the shock. "This stuff is… interesting." He pulled a face to demonstrate his point.

"Coffee?"

"Love some."

Rose went out to pour him a cup. "It's only instant," she called.

"That's fine," he called back as Rose heard him skipping tracks. So much for not liking Robbie Williams; he obviously knew the album inside out and had his favourites. Or at least knew Gwen's favourites.

She had to laugh when she saw him in the middle of the living room, dancing by himself. He held his hand out to her.

"Dance?"

She giggled. "Well I am wearing the outfit for it, I guess." She gestured towards the red silk dress she had on and then took his hand. He pulled her in close, so close she could feel his breath on her neck as he sang along with the song.

"'Let me lie down, please don't wake me,'" he sang softly in her ear. Rose closed her eyes and leaned into him, enjoying the contact with another person. He wasn't quite the person she wanted to be held by, but he was Jack. He was good enough.

"Nothing's sacred, and no one save me. In my black eye, I can feel it. Moving closer, can't you hear it?'" Rose wasn't sure whose voice she preferred, Robbie's or Jack's. It was a close run thing, she thought, as a smile creased her lips and she rested her head against his chest. Being biased, she decided that Jack was the better singer.

"'Only gift you gave to me was self-fulfilling prophesy, need to change the sounds that shape my life.'" Those words sent an odd tingle down Rose's spine, and she would have lifted her head to look at him if she hadn't been so comfortable. Somehow, the way he sang them, made it sound like he was saying them directly to her, like he meant every syllable.

"'And if you die before I leave…'" At those words Rose's head shot up to look at him. "'What on earth becomes of me?'"

"Jack?"

"'Look around there's no one here…'" Jack continued singing and dancing, as though Rose hadn't moved a muscle. "'To love me and hold me.'"

"Jack, maybe we should stop…" Rose suggested, as she saw a glassy look come into his eye. "Jack?" She stopped dancing, wrenching herself free of his arms, but it didn't stop Jack. As a violin riff introduced the second verse, he continued dancing on his own, picking up his bottle of wine for company.

"'Take me dancing, I love music.'" He sang with his eyes shut, punctuating lines with another swig of his wine. It was like he was possessed. "'Keep on singing, we won't lose it.' Come on Rose!" he appealed to her suddenly but Rose wouldn't join in. This wasn't Jack. She backed away further, as his dancing became more erratic and he began waving his bottle around to emphasise words. "'Picture me there, missing no one.'" There went the bottle. "'If young hearts run free, why can't we go on? Go on till they kick us out. We've everything to talk about. I could bring a song into your life.'" His eyes opened suddenly as he took a swig of wine and Rose saw to her horror that not only were they brimming with tears, but several tears were forced out and were making their journey down his face. She could see something of the same look in his face as earlier this evening when he'd suggested they went out, only whilst then it had been barely contained energy, now it was like all his energy was tumbling out of him, out of control. His voice, which had been so strong and full of emotion and would have been pleasant to listen to if Rose hadn't been so horrified by the song, began cracking as he sang the chorus again. "'If you should die before I leave. What on earth becomes of me? Look around, there's no one here, to love me and…" He tailed off and looked Rose in the eye. The bottle slipped out of his hand and hit the corner of the coffee table, smashing and then falling to the carpet, spilling wine everywhere. It was like the broken glass was the last straw, as Captain Jack Harkness's shoulders began shaking and he gave himself in to his own misery.


	45. Chapter 44

**Back to the TARDIS thief that is Jon now... And as you might have guessed, things don't go exactly according to plan... I apologise for Owen's swearing in this chapter...**

**

* * *

**The TARDIS landed with more of a bump than usual. Abby lost her footing and fell over, whilst Jon only managed to stay upright by grabbing hold of the console and bracing himself against the impact. They both stayed where they were for several seconds. Then Abby sat up and dusted herself down. 

"Well. We're alive." She shot Jon a furious look. "No thanks to you."

Jon ignored her. Abby had been good company over the last few days, but she didn't own him. She couldn't make him feel guilty. This was the right thing to do, he knew it. Janie was just outside, he was sure. He headed for the door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Jon looked round at Abby, who was standing with her arms folded. He was at a loss. He frowned.

Abby rolled her eyes and then pulled a lever. Immediately, it was as though the TARDIS was settling back into her own skin and breathing a sigh of relief. "The handbrake. That is, if you want to get back again. I wouldn't put it past the old girl to wander off if you turn your back on her. But then you'd know that, wouldn't you?"

He managed to look a bit shame-faced. "Sorry." But he still turned back for the door.

"Jon, what are you going to do when you get out there?" Abby demanded.

"I told you. Rescue my sister." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Off those aliens? You think they'll just give her up like that?" Abby clicked her fingers.

"No! I imagine there'll be a bit of a struggle…"

"A bit! And how exactly are you going to fight them? Have you got a gun hidden somewhere that I don't know about?" He could hear the mocking tone in her voice and chose not to answer. "No. Didn't think so." He shot her a glowering look and she seemed to relent a little. "Jon, we don't know what's on the other side of those doors! We could be walking straight into danger!"

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Jon said, sounding braver than he felt. This had been a stupid idea, he knew, but he was loath to back down now. He wasn't even sure if he could work out how to steer the TARDIS home again. Now probably wasn't the time to mention that though. "Come on."

Abby hesitated before following him to the door. He opened it a crack and peered out. Nothing. Just a regular street with a pavement and a road and gutters and street lamps… He took a sharp intake of breath.

"What is it? What's there?" Abby asked in an urgent hushed whisper. Jon could almost feel her heart rate quickening beside him. "Jon!"

"I might have got it a bit wrong," he admitted, biting his lip. When he didn't elaborate, Abby pushed him aside and stepped out into the street. He followed her.

Abby turned round, taking in all the sights around her. "This isn't 1700."

"No."

"Have you any idea where it is?"

Jon shook his head. "No."

Abby's jaw dropped. "Oh bloody great! You've got us stranded somewhere, we don't know where, no way of finding out-"

"Maybe the others will-"

"Will what, Jon?" Abby snapped. "Come and find us? How? We've taken their only way of getting here! They don't have a clue where we are!" She suddenly needed to get away from him or she'd do something she regretted. She walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, trying to control her temper.

Jon knew he'd messed up. Again. If he could have punched himself, he would. He'd told his mum he was coming so he could help, so he could help rescue Janie and make up for his complete failure the other night. So what had he done? He'd stolen his father's timeship and taken it somewhere unknown in a temper. Not only that, but he'd dragged poor Abby along for the ride. He looked over at her, sitting on a bench, shivering inside her thin t-shirt, and chewing the inevitable stick of gum twice as fast as usual. She was leaning over, resting her elbows on her knees, and running her hands through her hair. He didn't know how, but somehow the colour of her hair had changed suddenly. It wasn't as vibrant and shiny as usual, as though the grey surroundings of tower blocks and concrete were dulling the colour down.

He looked around. There was nothing distinguishing about where they'd ended up. It was just another street in another city in… he frowned. It was modern, that much he knew. This was most definitely twentieth or twenty-first century. His heart beat quickened as he looked round, hoping for some more clues. He urged his brain to think. There were cars… modern looking cars. Late twentieth century cars. He read the registration plate on one quickly, before remembering that maybe it wasn't the same here as back home. What else? He looked up at the sky. It was cold, he could tell that much, and looked over at Janie again. He really should offer her his coat, though what she'd done with her own he had no idea. It was dark too, but that could mean anything; being dark was hardly an unknown occurrence in winter-time.

Abby glanced up as he moved around the area they'd landed in. "What are you doing?" She sounded more than a little fed up, but there was an uplift in those Welsh vowels that showed she still had some hope and some faith left in him.

"Trying to work out where we are." Jon caught the scent of something on the air. "Can you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Abby asked wearily.

"That. It smells like roast meat or something."

Abby concentrated. There was something lingering around the buildings nearby. She recognized it. Something in her brain was twinging like an alarm, or a siren or something, telling her that once upon a time, a long long time ago, she'd experienced that before. "Dinner?" she said hesitantly.

"Yeah, but something else." Jon breathed in again. "Turkey."

"Christmas dinner!" Abby exclaimed. They'd barely recovered from that statement before she cried, "And look! It's beginning to snow!"

White flakes floated down onto them, settling on the ground. There was a commotion on the other side of the buildings. Jon moved towards the sound.

"Let's go and see what that is," he suggested. He looked down in surprise as he felt Abby's hand slipping into his.

She smiled slightly shyly, a look he hadn't seen on her before. Abby wasn't known for her shyness. "Come on then," she agreed.

They headed round the building to find everybody spilling out of a block of flats, broad smiles on their faces when they saw the snow already sticking. It was coming down fast and thick, but Jon frowned.

"It doesn't feel cold enough for snow," he remarked.

"No," Abby agreed. "It's usually much colder than this up on the farm. But it is, so it must be. Stop trying to re-write history, Time Lord," she teased, nudging him playfully. "Though I know that's what you lot like doing best." To her relief, it hadn't been a tease too far as he grinned. "Come on," she continued. "I'll give you a snow ball fight!"

After they'd thrown a few small balls at each other, Jon frowned again. "Does this snow feel kind of… warm to you?"

"I didn't like to mention it, but yeah." Abby crumbled the snow ball she'd made in her hands. "Is it real snow?"

Jon looked round, wondering if they'd somehow ended up on a film set or something. Then his eye alighted on someone and he stopped looking.

Two people stood together in the whirling snow. One was a young girl, probably about his age, with golden hair. She was deep in conversation with her companion, a tall thin man, with dark hair, wearing a beige coat. With a jolt Jon realized who they were.

"Jon? Are you okay?" Abby looked at where he was looking, and her jaw dropped. "Oh my God! Isn't that…?"

Jon nodded. "The Doctor and… my mum."

Abby's eyes widened. That was Rose. She'd never seen a picture before, but now she could see it was obvious; Jon looked so much like her. She was pretty, she supposed. Then she grudgingly let go of her jealousy. She was beautiful.

Jon made a sudden movement towards them.

"Jon! Where are you going?" Abby pulled him back. "You can't go and talk to them!"

"Why not? It's my mum and dad!"

The use of the word 'dad' wasn't lost on Abby but there were more pressing things at hand. "I know, but… Jon, you don't exist yet! You can't go meddling in time lines and stuff. You don't know what might happen."

"I just want to see them."

"You can see them from here!"

Jon removed her hand from his coat. "I've got to," he said. He wriggled out of his coat. "Here, put this on, you'll freeze," he said, throwing it to her, before striding towards them.

As he got nearer, he heard some of their conversation. He felt slightly uncomfortable, eavesdropping on his own parents before he was even born. But he couldn't help it.

"…what about you? What are you going to do next?" To his surprise, Rose sounded awkward when she spoke.

The Doctor sounded slightly strained too. "Well… back to the TARDIS… same old life…"

"On… on your own?"

"Why, don't you want to come?" Jon frowned. This didn't sound right to him. It sounded like the Doctor was trying to get rid of his mum.

"Well, yeah."

"Do you though?"

"Yeah!"

"I just thought… cause I'd changed…" Changed? Jon wondered what he meant by that.

"Yeah… I.. I thought cause you changed… you might not want me anymore." She sounded so lost to be saying that that Jon felt sorry for her. Then he remembered it was his mum. The woman who had lived a normal life for the past eighteen years. It was like meeting a stranger, someone who yearned for the life the Doctor had shown her. But she'd never shown that to him or Janie.

"Oh, I'd _love_ you to come!" Jon looked at the Doctor as he said that and saw the huge beaming grin that overtook his face. The air around him seemed to warm up with the sincerity of his words.

Rose returned his smile. "Okay!" she said and they both descended into laughter. And then the Doctor planted eyes on Jon. Their eyes met for a second, and Jon saw a brief frown come into the other man's brow. It looked like the Doctor was about to say something, when Mickey's voice broke in.

"You're never gonna stay are you?"

Jon took his chance to get away. When the Doctor looked again, the strange young man who looked so familiar was gone.

"Jon?" Abby called after him as he walked past her. He didn't stop. She looked at where he'd left the Doctor and his mum. They looked so happy, she thought. That must be Rose's mum. The Doctor had always told her he didn't do domestic. Obviously he'd break the rules for some people. The right people.

She turned and hurried after him. She found him leaning against the TARDIS, staring into space. He looked shell-shocked, and Abby knew shell-shock; one of the Doctor's many mistakes whilst she'd been with him had landed them in Ypres in 1917. It had taken days for Abby to remove every last trace of mud from her hair, and even longer for her to be able to sleep at night without recalling what she'd seen there.

"Hey, Jon, you okay?" she asked, her voice soft, like she was talking to one of her dad's scared cows. The stupid things always worked themselves up into a state over the smallest things, and it could take hours to calm them down again. She pulled his coat tighter around herself, before wondering if maybe she ought to give it back if he was in shock. "Do you… do you want your coat back?"

A smile creased Jon's face. "No, it's fine. Keep it." He let out a long breath.

Abby hazarded a guess at what was affecting his mood this way. "It must be strange, seeing them together like that."

He nodded. "Yeah, a bit." His hand went to his ear and he scratched it unconsciously. Abby managed not to laugh at that. "Strange seeing Mum look so young. And… happy."

"They did look happy."

"Yeah." Jon sighed. "She really loves him, doesn't she?"

"Seemed like it," Abby agreed.

Jon ran a hand over his face, and Abby was certain that he was trying to brush tears away without her noticing. Then he levered himself off the wall of the TARDIS and felt in his pocket for the key Rose had given him before he'd left home.

"Right. Well, we better get back to him then," he said decisively. "Yeah?" He looked at her, seemingly for approval.

Abby smiled. "Yeah." She slipped her hand into his again. "Go on. Lead the way."

* * *

The Doctor sat on the ground near where Tosh was just feeding the DNA into the computer. He was so angry he could scream or punch something, but instead he just sat, annoyance rippling out of every cell in his body. The Torchwood team had consciously fallen silent as soon as he'd stopped ranting about Jon having taken the TARDIS, and were getting on with their jobs, leaving the Doctor to fume on his own. 

He couldn't believe it. His own son, a Time Lord… he'd just stolen his TARDIS and taken her god only knew where. And Abby had just let him! The Doctor was almost speechless with rage and shock. Even if Jon didn't exactly know all the logistics of time travel just yet (and he really ought to start teaching him… a Time Lord without that knowledge was no Time Lord at all), Abby knew the rules. If he was honest, he was more than a little surprised that the TARDIS had co-operated at all. She was getting grumpier and grumpier in her old age. Her and him both, he supposed.

Jon had no idea what he was doing though, no idea at all. He didn't know how to fly the TARDIS or how to set the co-ordinates or anything. They could be anywhere. And even if they had managed to make it to 1700, they had no way of fighting whatever they found there. Everything in the Doctor felt foreboding… forebode-y… he didn't know the exact word, but he was feeling it. He was worried about them both. And more than that, he was worried what he could ever tell Rose if something had happened to her son. Losing one child was careless; two and he wasn't sure she'd cope. For that matter, he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself.

"They'll be okay." He looked up to see Gwen looking at him, compassion in her eyes. She was a nice woman, he'd thought that the moment he saw her. There was so much empathy in her eyes. Jack had done well to find her, even if he seemed intent on driving her away. The Doctor had never been one for big romantic gestures or even romance itself… but Jack was just taking things to the extreme. Even if Gwen did seem strangely familiar to the Doctor, like he'd met her once before…

When he didn't reply, she spoke again. "Jon and Abby. They're smart kids. They'll figure something out."

The Doctor wished he had her confidence. "Yeah, I hope so."

Gwen smiled. "There's always hope."

That at least brought a smile to his face. "Yeah. There's always hope. I'm a big fan of hope." He nodded to her. "Thanks."

She smiled again. "That's okay."

The Doctor turned back to Tosh. "Any luck?"

"Just about… there!" She grinned. "It's just running a search… it shouldn't be a few seconds."

"You've been saying that for the past three days!" Owen grumbled. He was huddled up inside his short jacket. "Is it just me, or is it ridiculously cold for this time of year?"

"It's just you," Ianto replied. He leaned over Tosh's shoulder. "Oh, it's done."

The Doctor pushed past him, glasses on in seconds. "What does it say?"

Tosh clicked on the results. "It's not her, not Janie." The whole group seemed to sag, before she frowned. "Hold on. The computer's running a search just for her DNA now… throughout the whole of time."

Owen stared at her incredulously. "And you didn't think to do this before, because…?"

"I didn't know I could." Tosh shook her head. "I didn't know the computer was capable of it."

"Some computer expert," Owen scoffed.

"Shut up, Owen!" Gwen glowered at him. "Good work, Tosh. How long will it be?"

"Let me guess, only a few seconds?"

"Owen!"

"Oh come on Gwen!" Owen rounded on his colleague. "We've been standing round for days, freezing our arses off, looking like complete pillocks in the middle of Kensington Gardens, running pointless never-ending searches on Tosh's stupid bloody computer – oh Tosh, don't look so hurt, it's not _real_! – and all the time that poor kid is stuck who knows where with god knows what! If no one else will say it, I will. I'm fucked off!" He looked like he'd have said more if the Doctor hadn't interrupted.

"Quiet!"

Owen looked about to protest.

"I said, quiet!" The Doctor inclined his head to one side. "Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Gwen frowned, listening intently.

"That!" The Doctor looked around. "It's the TARDIS!" He set off at a run. The four others looked at each other awkwardly.

"I'll go after him then," Gwen said finally, exasperatedly. "You can come, Owen."

"Since when did you take charge?"

"Since you started behaving like a child." Gwen glared at him. "Now come on."

They headed after the Doctor. When they reached him, he was staring at the space where they'd parked the TARDIS earlier. They stared in amazement as it materialized in front of their eyes.

"Now, go easy on him," Gwen advised the Doctor.

The Doctor had no intention of going easy on anyone. The door opened and Abby came out, followed by a shame-faced Jon. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he was studying the ground intently.

Abby walked up to the Doctor. "He's had a bit of a shock," she began, but the Doctor interrupted her, his voice like thunder.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Doctor!" Abby cried, looking at him in horror.

"I wasn't asking you!" He turned back to his son angrily. "You stole my TARDIS! Have you any idea of the sort of damage you could have done? You can't just wander off into time and space and…" He tailed off as Jon looked up at him. His eyes were swollen and red, and he looked exhausted. Half the man he'd been when he left in such a temper a couple of hours ago.

"I know," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

The Doctor relented. He'd apologized. There didn't seem much more he could say.

"Well… just don't do it again." He shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "So… where did you get to? Not 1700, I'm guessing?"

Abby's eyes flickered over to Jon. She seemed to have taken on the role as his protector, his guardian, his sister, his mother… it was sweet really, but the Doctor couldn't help feeling slightly uncomfortable with all of it. His son and his ex-companion… the one who he'd found to try and help him get over Rose, the mother of his son… it was all a bit tight knit and like some strange Greek play for his liking. And he was a bit worried about Abby in general; she was too young to be taking on such a role really. He still needed to have that talk with her and catch up properly.

"No, not exactly," she said at length. She glanced at Jon again, before continuing. "We ended up not far away, actually. A few years ago, I guess."

"Oh." The Doctor felt a bit bad. "First time travel adventure and you end up a few years ago." He frowned and glanced at the TARDIS. "Well, I'm not saying what you did was right, but the old girl could have shown you a better time, maybe she's feeling a bit off colour." He walked over to her and put his hands on the outer casing. "We probably didn't leave her long enough in Cardiff to charge up, trying to conserve energy or something-"

"I saw Mum."

The Doctor instantly broke off and stared at his son. He'd blurted it out and now his mouth was firmly shut again, shut against the emotions that were so obviously bottled up inside of him.

"Your mum?" The Doctor looked between Jon and Abby. "When? Where?" Rose… just the thought of her made him wish he'd gone with them.

Jon didn't answer, staring moodily at the ground once again.

"Jon!" The Doctor bounded over and gripped the boy's arms, his face inches away from his. "Where did you see her?"

"It was Christmas," Abby answered for him. "It was snowing. We saw Rose and… you."

The Doctor let go of Jon and staggered backwards as everything became clear in his own mind. He remembered that day, standing outside the Powell Estate, watching as the ash from the Sycorax spaceship fell all around them. He remembered the flux of emotions he'd felt as Rose seemed to slip away from reach and then, at the last second, come back to him with a vengeance. Her gazing up at him with that gorgeous smile of hers. And then that boy, standing behind her, his attention seemingly fixed on them. He'd looked familiar, yet completely out of place. The Doctor hadn't quite been able to figure out why. There was something different about him, something fresher, brighter, stranger than all the other people standing round. Something in the boy seemed to speak directly to the Doctor, not saying as much as yelling _You know me… _He'd been about to say something when Mickey had said something to Rose, distracting both their attentions. And when he'd looked again the boy had gone, and he no matter how much he searched the crowd, he hadn't been able to find him again.

"That was you," he said now. "The boy in the crowd."

Jon nodded.

"Oh God! Jon!" Without thinking, the Doctor put his arms around Jon and pulled him into a hug. Jon initially stiffened, unsure how to react, but then to the Doctor's relief he relaxed into the hug and allowed his father to comfort him.

"Right." The Doctor stepped away. "Now, what we're going to do is, we're going to find Janie, stop whatever those aliens are doing and then we're going to take you both back to your mum. Alright?"

Jon nodded mutely.

"Good."

Gwen interrupted the family reunion. "Doctor? Tosh just called?" He raised his eyebrows. "She's found Janie."


	46. Chapter 45

**Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, my hardcore faithful loyal fans. I know this story seems to be rolling on with little direction, but I've just started writing the final bit ('arc') I suppose you'd call it... haven't quite got round to reading that bit of the books on writing...) and its coming to a conclusion. I tend to wander off into random bits which I enjoy writing (like this chapter) which maybe the story COULD exist without, but I don't want it to. **

**Explanation time again (isn't it always?). Sadly, not about what the Legend of Piaculum actually entails... mainly cos I wasn't entirely sure myself until I wrote chapter 50 last night, which is awful! So much for being pre-planned!**

**Probably should shove a disclaimer in here (have I ever written one before? no...). Over and above the usual "I don't own Doctor Who etc" these are just my thoughts on things. Pretty believable I think, but still just my random wafflings.**

**

* * *

**It had taken three cups of coffee for Jack to even start to collect his scattered thoughts. He'd sat on the floor, staring into space, a mug clutched in his hands, whilst Rose busied herself tidying up the smashed bottle and spilt wine. She'd turned the CD off, leaving the room in silence, apart from the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece. She padded round softly in her bare feet, occasionally humming to herself to try and cheer her own spirits up. She felt like she so often had when she'd lost control of one of the twins; she wanted the Doctor here, by her side, telling her what to do. Much as she hated to admit it, what she used to believe so fervently was still true: she needed him. If only he'd bloody call! 

"Sorry."

Rose immediately moved from where she was soaking up the last of the wine and kneeled next to him. "That's okay. Don't apologise."

He shook his head. "No, it's not. I'll pay for the carpet, I'll get it cleaned, or get you a new one or…" He broke off as Rose laid her hand over his. He looked up into her deep brown eyes.

"Jack, it's okay," she said again, speaking in the same tones she used to use when Jon or Janie were younger and hurt. "The carpet doesn't matter."

He managed a weak grin. "Some company I am. So much for staying here to…"

"Hold my hand?" Rose suggested wryly.

"Something like that," Jack agreed miserably. He looked down again at where her hand was still resting over his, her fingers curled round protectively. "And look at that. You're holding my hand."

"Everyone needs a hand to hold sometimes." Rose slid down so she was sitting next to him, resting her back on the sofa, and stretching her legs out in front of her. "Even you." She turned his hand over and slipped her hand into his properly. "Jack, I'm worried about you."

He shrugged it off and made an attempt at his usual jaunty tone. "No need for that, there's nothing wrong with me."

"Well I think there is!" Rose insisted. "That song…"

"It was just a song, nothing more." Jack let go of her hand and stood up, stretching loudly. "Just a song."

"Seemed much more than that to me." Rose looked up at him. The hard exterior had built itself up again; it was like talking to a brick wall. "Jack, tell me what's wrong," she appealed suddenly. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to say!" Jack growled. "Rose, just leave it." He stalked over to the window and looked out at the night sky. The stars were out in force tonight as the clouds whipped quickly across the moon. It was a beautiful night, but Jack had stopped noticing that so long ago. Beautiful nights, lovely strains of music, stunning men and women… he'd begun taking them all for granted. He'd live to see them all again; there would always be another night, another song, another person. It wasn't like he was going anywhere.

He felt a hand place itself lightly on his shoulder. He turned to face her again.

"Jack." The way Rose said his name seemed to cut through all of that stuff though; it reminded him of who he was… and who he wasn't. What he could be and what he should have been and what he was. "Talk to me."

"I don't know where to start."

Rose smiled and her mouth wobbled as he saw tears well up in her eyes. "Me either."

That was all it took for Jack's cold stance to end as he wrapped his arms around his old friend.

* * *

"I knew as soon as I woke up there was something different, something not quite right." 

"Did you know you'd…?" Rose tailed off, not wanting to say the word. She curled her toes up unconsciously as she waited for his answer, and pulled her knees closer into her body.

"Died?" Jack said the word with a snort of laughter. Bitter laughter, she realized. That was what had changed about this Jack. She recognized it now. When she'd first met Jack, all that time ago, he'd been many things. A con man, a coward, a flirt… but never bitter. His enthusiasm for life had swept her away, captured her heart and mind in the way that only one other man ever had. He'd lost two years of his life, but he still loved that life. The Jack who had joined her in this universe had changed; bitterness had crept into his every move, his every word.

"Yeah, I knew." He nodded grimly.

"How?"

Jack pulled a face as he struggled for the right words. "I don't know. It just felt like… there'd been nothing there, nothing at all. A whole moment of my life erased. Plus I knew I'd been shot by a Dalek, and you don't tend to survive them."

Rose smiled. "No, I guess not." She nervously looked over at him from underneath her eyelashes. "So… what did you do… after?" It had been bugging her since he'd walked back into her life; they'd left him in the 2001st century on a space station with no way out. So how had he ended up in 21st century Cardiff?

"I tried to catch a ride back with you, but you'd already gone." Jack saw her face fall as he looked over at her. "Oh, Rose, I didn't mean that nastily! I was just saying…"

"It's alright, go on." But Rose felt his criticism and she knew she deserved it. There were a million excuses she could come up with, just one being that she'd had the time vortex running through her head at the time and hadn't exactly been with it. Still, she'd let him down; she'd been so thrilled with the fact that the Doctor was alive that it had taken a while for her to even remember Jack's existence.

Jack sighed. "When I saw you leaving, I sort of gave up for a bit. Wandered around the space station, hoping I'd find some way out. It was a strange place, you know, after everything had happened."

"Was anyone else…?"

"Alive? No, just me." He felt the old familiar loneliness at that moment, the loneliness he'd been trying desperately to hide ever since he'd said goodbye to the Doctor and Rose. It was like Rose had said, everybody needed a hand to hold, and he'd been searching for the right hand all that time. Hands in jars didn't count. "You just brought me back. Eventually I found a radio, called down to Earth, asked for a lift home." He shook his head, a wry smile on his face. "Never would have picked me for a calling home kinda guy, would you?"

Rose smiled. "Not exactly. Didn't they want to know what was going on? I mean, all those people and just you left…"

"It did look a bit strange, I suppose." Jack shrugged. "The driver was a nice bloke, you know, his name was Patrick, always loved the Irish."

Rose frowned. He seemed to have gone off at a tangent. "But how did you explain…?" Her frown deepened as Jack didn't reply, simply gave her a look. A small smile, innocent some would have said, if it wasn't for the danger and downright devilry dancing in those blue eyes… "Oh my God, Jack!" she exclaimed as the penny dropped.

"What?" He maintained his innocence for about a millisecond, before a wicked grin took over his face. "What did I say?" He laughed at her shocked face. "Nothing wrong with a bit of… dancing, is there, Rose? You've been known to be quite a dab hand at it yourself."

"Says who?" Rose demanded, her jaw dropping.

"My sources prefer to remain anonymous," Jack said teasingly. "Hey! Now put that cushion down!" He held up a warning finger as she brandished the cushion threateningly. "I'm assuming you're still ticklish?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me!"

Rose grudgingly hugged the cushion to herself again. She knew she was behaving childishly, but she didn't even care. Something about this evening had made her remember her youth and all the times she'd spent with Jack and the Doctor. She needed that feeling close, needed to hug it tight to her, like the cushion. She didn't want to lose that feeling ever again.

"So this _Patrick_ agreed to keep schtum then?"

"Yeah, he did. He was a good bloke."

"I'll bet." Rose smiled. "But how did you get from there to Cardiff? Hitch a lift with another time traveler?"

"Once a con man, always a con man." Jack tapped the side of his nose mysteriously. "I like to keep my methods private."

"Spoilsport."

He was that, he knew it. But he also knew he couldn't possibly even begin to start explaining all the things he'd had to go through, all the things he'd seen in order to scrape his way back to 2007. He wasn't sure why he'd picked that date; it just seemed right. Something in his brain had told him to head in that direction. Anyway, it wasn't like all of that was relevant anymore. He'd done it, he'd got where he needed to be.

"So when did you realize you couldn't…?" Again, the word stalled in her throat.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You can say it you know. I don't mind."

Rose shook her head. "I don't want to." Somehow, death had been brought home to her all over again in the last few weeks. Thinking about everything now, death had always been a part of her life here. There was Pete, a man she'd seen die twice. She was supposedly dead herself. And Jack… the man who couldn't die but had. Death was an uneasy topic for everybody, but somehow, Rose felt it even more than most people.

Jack took pity on her and left the word hanging in the air, unspoken. "Pretty early on actually." He'd hoped he could leave it at that, but one glance at Rose told him he'd have to expand a bit. "I sort of… well, drowned, I guess, the first night I was in Cardiff."

Rose's eyes widened in horror. "How?"

"Oh, you know, the usual trouble."

"Aliens?"

"Yeah." It was easier to say that. Far far easier. He couldn't bear to admit the truth to her. That after all that time spent striving to get to 2007, after listening to that voice in his head telling him that that was where he'd find his answers, find the Doctor, the reality of a cold wet Cardiff night in early February had been too much. The truth was, on that night, Captain Jack Harkness had had enough. The cold water closing around his shoulders had felt like an anaesthetic, numbing the pain of being left behind all alone. He hadn't even fought as the icy water gushed into his lungs. He wanted this. He'd regretted it later though, when he was washed up on a beach round the coast, cold, battered, bruised, but alive. He'd ruined his best shirt.

"And how many times since then?"

"Five." If you counted the second time, the attempt made more to test the theory than anything else. He'd swallowed so many pills down that night, the tastes of vodka and whiskey mixing in his mouth, all in the half-hope that maybe the last time had been a fluke. He could see it as a half-hope now; part of him had been willing the same miracle to happen again. That part hadn't been disappointed, although even that side had taken a knock after fourteen straight hours of being violently sick. After that, he hadn't tried to end it all again.

Rose looked amazed though. "Five times? What do you _do_ to get yourself in that much trouble?"

"I'm in Torchwood!"

"Even so! Surely you could avoid getting killed occasionally!"

"You don't know Torchwood." She didn't know about Susie and the gun. Or Ianto's girlfriend. Or Owen and his gun. Or Abaddon. She didn't need to know either. That was all in the past; Jack didn't believe in holding grudges anymore. Life was too long for all that.

Rose smiled sadly. "I know Torchwood better than you think."

Jack realized his mistake and winced. "I know. Sorry." He shook his head. "I seem to be saying that a lot lately."

"It doesn't really suit you."

"Oh, I don't know. I think I pull it off pretty well." He grinned cheesily.

Rose smiled. "You pull most things off pretty well. Jammy, that's what you are."

He had to agree with her there. Luck was practically his middle name. He'd been lucky in meeting Rose and the Doctor. Lucky in being brought back to life. Lucky in finding a role for him in this world, some way to help people and to find the Doctor. Lucky in the people he'd met. Well, most of them. Owen was a bit of a double-edged sword. As much as Jack knew he was vital to Torchwood, and as much as it had torn him apart to tell him to leave, he and Owen would never be best friends. He knew that. And he could live with it.

"Jack?" The strange tone in her voice made him turn and look at her again. "What's… what's it like?" Her face was etched in trepidation as she looked at him.

"What's what like?"

"Not being able to…" She paused and swallowed hard. "To… die?"

It felt like he'd been slammed against a wall. He struggled to find his breath again. "It's…" He didn't even know where to start. He'd gone through all the emotions with it. Hating it, hating his own body for betraying him and making him stay on in a world where there was nothing left for him, no Doctor, no Rose, no purpose. He'd cursed himself so many times, crying alone at night in a rented flat in Cardiff. It had robbed him of his right, his right to live a normal life. It had made him a freak.

Then he'd felt weighed down by it. He was alive for a reason; why him rather than any of the other people on that space station? It made him desperate to do something worthwhile, to justify his second and third and fourth chances. Some days he'd cry for the people who hadn't had his chances, the Lyndas of the world. The immortality had become a chore, a noose around his neck, a burden. The hatred had returned after losing Estelle. He saw what immortality really was; outliving everyone you loved. Living with nightmares and unresolved issues, for years and years.

He hadn't said a word, not given a single description of what it was like. But Rose didn't need words. The emptiness which had crept into his eyes was enough.

"Oh Jack," she whispered, her voice laced with tears. "I'm so sorry."

He turned back to look at her in surprise. "What for?"

"For… for making you like _this_. It must be awful."

Jack had never realized how transparent he could be. "Rose, no!" He reached across and wrapped her up in a hug. "It wasn't your fault."

"But I remember now, maybe if I'd remembered then, we could have… the Doctor could have…" Rose sobbed.

"No, you couldn't, he couldn't." Jack pulled her closer. "What happened, happened. You couldn't have known, Rose. And you _had_ to save the Doctor." There were no two ways around that. Jack would have given his life to save the Doctor; he still would. He supposed it was ironic in a way that he'd given his death instead.

Rose sniffed. "But it's awful?"

Jack thought long and hard before answering. Rose wasn't a kid anymore; she deserved to know the truth. "Some of it is awful. Seeing people you love die, having to live on without them." He shook his head. "There's nothing worse in the world. But plenty of people go through that, Rose, your mum did… you have…" He smiled down at her upturned face encouragingly. "There are some good bits."

"Like?"

"It's come in handy a few times. A bit of immortality comes in a lot handy on occasions. And it meant I could see you again, and the Doctor."

"And meet Gwen?"

That subject was clearly still out of bounds as Jack tensed up almost imperceptibly; even so, from his reaction, Rose could guess that she wasn't imagining whatever there was between those two. Sooner or later she'd dig it out of him. "Well, yeah, I guess. But anyway. Enough crying over me." Rose self-consciously wiped her tears away. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Rose shrugged, still cradled inside Jack's arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "I'm nothing special. Just the same old Rose Tyler."

"With two kids who happen to be part Time Lord."

She had to bite her lip to stop herself laughing. "Well, yeah, there is that, I guess."

"How did that even happen?" Jack rolled his eyes at Rose's teasing smile. "Okay, I know _how_, no need to get smart with me. But… well, _how_?"

Rose sighed. "I don't know. It was all a bit… strange. After he regenerated, I wasn't even sure I wanted to stay with him."

"Are you insane? Have you seen that body?" Jack laughed, before trying to regain his serious façade after a quick glare from Rose.

"He'd changed. He wasn't my Doctor anymore. But he was…" Rose could feel her head aching already, but whether that was the after affects of her evening out or the complicated nature of their relationship, she had no idea. "It was strange."

"Sounds it." Jack understood, she knew he did. No one else would, but he did.

"I don't know what happened really. It felt like he'd gone, really gone…" Those hours waiting for him to wake up and save them had been some of the longest of her life. She couldn't imagine being without him anymore. That was when the first cracks in her heart had been made, she knew it. They'd partially repaired, and maybe if she'd stayed with him, she'd have become a whole person again. But when she finally left him, her heart just broke down those old lines again, deeply and irreparably.

"But?"

Rose felt a rush of warmth overtake her as she remembered that night, amongst the ash of the Sycorax spaceship, looking up at the stars, hand in hand. "Then… he came back." She smiled softly.

Jack allowed her a few moments of remembering. She looked so happy, he didn't like to disturb her. But he wanted to know… "But… the twins… I mean… how… when…?"

Rose looked at him, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "Jack Harkness, I do believe you're blushing."

Jack smiled too. "Very funny. But you're the one evading the question, Ms. Tyler. So come on. Spill."

Rose sighed. "I saw more with him after that than I could ever have believed. We went to places, met people… I wasn't the first, you know? There were others. Other people he'd left behind."

Jack frowned suddenly. "You mean he does this a lot?"

Rose hurriedly defended him. "Not exactly _this_! He's lonely…" If Jack was annoyed by the mere mention of there being Sarah-Janes, Rose guessed she better not mention Reinette. It had taken her long enough to accept what had happened; Jack wasn't famed for thinking before acting.

Still, it wasn't even that relevant. "But we sort of became closer. Through all of it." She could barely remember a moment with the Doctor since then when they hadn't had their hands intertwined. "It was like he wanted me more. Or needed me," she added hurriedly, not wanting to appear presumptuous or naïve.

Jack smiled. "He wanted you. Trust me on that one."

Rose smiled back. "It was after this one trip we took… to this planet. It was orbiting a black hole-"

"But that's impossible!"

"That's what the Doctor thought." Rose nodded. "Seems he's not always right."

"Not that he'll ever admit that." Jack snorted. "Bet he was like bear with a sore head after that."

"No, actually." Rose shook her head thoughtfully. "After that, we could barely keep our hands off each other." Jack raised an eyebrow. "Not like that! Just… it was like we needed to feel each other, needed to hold on to someone."

"And so you….?" Jack prompted.

Rose nodded. "You know what it's like in the TARDIS, you get a bit… lost. But when I was with him, when we…" She blushed much to her own disgust and Jack's amusement. "It felt right, it felt like…"

"You'd found yourself again," Jack finished for her.

Rose looked at him sharply. "Yeah. How did you know?"

He shrugged. "Just a guess. So when did you realize you were pregnant?"

"I had a suspicion while I was still with him. But I thought it was impossible, I thought I was just being stupid. We went to 2012, the 30th Olympia. We had this conversation about kids." She laughed remembering it. "About what horrid things they were actually! I was gonna tell him, but…"

"But?"

"He… he said he'd been a father once." Jack blinked in surprise. "I know. But I mean, he's nine hundred odd years old… not such a surprise really."

"So you didn't tell him?"

"How could I? He lost everything once, Jack, his home, his planet, his people… his kids. How could I have thrown that at him? I wasn't even sure, I didn't want to get his hopes up." If she was honest, she'd been slightly hurt too. _I was a father once._ He'd never mentioned it before or since. She couldn't bear the thought that he'd forget their child too. "And then the moment passed, he got turned into a drawing, I got him back, he carried the Olympic flame and we got to watch the shot put." She laughed at Jack's expression. "It's a long _long_ story."

"But you never told him."

"There was never a chance again. I nearly did… once… when he came to say goodbye."

"He told me. You told him it was your mum."

"I tried." Rose shrugged.

"I know." Jack smiled at her, and kissed the top of her head. "That's the main thing."

There was a silence for a few minutes, as Rose snuggled further into Jack's shoulder, and he played absent-mindedly with strands of her hair.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Dying."

The ultimate question. There weren't many people who could answer that question truthfully; not many people had the experience and lived to tell the tale. Dying tended to be a sort of one way street with no U-turns and no reversing. He wasn't sure exactly how to describe it.

"Dying is…" He breathed out heavily. "It's easy," he said eventually. "Living's the hard part."

That seemed to satisfy her as she went quiet for a time. Then she broke the silence

"I wish they'd call."

"Yeah. Me too."


	47. Chapter 46

**I've lost count of chapters now... I could have sworn this was the rescue chapter... ah well, turns out its not. I'm also just coming to the end of writing Chapter 51 which has to be the weirdest chapter I've written... you'll kinda see why when we get there... does mean my story's now at least 1 chapter longer than I initially planned HOORAY! Enjoy!**

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* * *

**"1941?" The Doctor removed his glasses, stared at the screen, and then put them back on again. "Are you sure?" 

"Certain." Tosh nodded, and clicked on a few tabs with the curser. "And if you look…. here," she highlighted a section, "she's on her own."

"On her own?" He hated seeming unintelligent, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"The aliens didn't come through with her, not then, at least. Janie's on her own in 1941."

That at least was some comfort. If she'd managed to shake those aliens off, it gave them a bit of a headstart. It meant they could head into the TARDIS and go after her, without needing to defeat a whole bunch of aliens again. On the other hand… 1941…

"You look worried." Abby looked at him. "Why?" She was good, he had to give her that. Abby Dean… she'd been good company in those moments when they hadn't been ripping each other to bits. And she seemed to be good for Jon.

"It's just…" The Doctor looked at Jon. He still looked utterly bewildered over what he'd seen today; they really should have a talk soon. "Well, Rose and I went to 1941. Once. It was where we met Jack, actually… I just hope that…" He didn't know what he hoped. The chances of them bumping into each other were so slight; they'd only been there one night. But time was a funny thing. Everyone thought it was so logical, so linear and one-dimensional. But it wasn't, time was ever-changing, everlasting. Timelines co-existed, altering almost imperceptibly second by second. It was like Rose had said all that time ago: _"Christmas. 1860. Happens once. Just once and then it's gone. It's finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you."_

Rose. God, how he missed her. There'd been a niggling thought at the back of his head ever since they'd got tangled up in this mess: _It wasn't supposed to be like this_. He'd done it, he'd done the impossible. He'd found his way back to her. They should be toasting to their future happiness together with banana daiquiris by now, not continuing their lives apart like this. He wished she could have come with them, wished she was by his side now, to hold his hand and tell him she believed in him. Believed he could save Janie. Instead he had a son, practically struck dumb, and not likely to say anything of that sort even if he had the use of his vocal chords. An ex- who always spoke her mind, and seemed to be doing so even more these days. She was a funny one, Abby. And then there was Torchwood. All in all, not the ideal group to be sharing all this with. He really should try and get Jon's phone working again, if only so he could hear Rose's voice again…

"Doctor?" He came back into the present as Abby gave him a decided poke in the side. He looked down at her to see her hazel eyes fixed on him intently. "So? Are we going or what?"

"Where? Oh. 1941." He looked at the computer screen again. "You're certain that's her?"

"She said so, didn't she?" Abby answered for Tosh. She was practically bouncing up and down on the spot. "Come on! We're wasting time! Fire her up and let's get going!"

Gwen suddenly looked anxious. She gazed around at the TARDIS, half in fear. "Are we all going?"

"Not scared, are you, Gwen?" Owen raised his eyebrows challengingly.

Gwen shot him a murderous look. "No, I was just asking. Is it necessary for us all to come?"

The Doctor scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose not. I mean, it's not _vital_ or anything, it's not like I haven't done it on my own before. And I suppose Jon and Abby will come with me." They both nodded, one more eager than the other. "I just thought… I don't know… you might _want_ to come."

Gwen shifted uneasily under his gaze. "I don't know…" Her eyes involuntarily drifted across to Toshiko. The Doctor seemed to instinctively know what she was thinking; she wondered just how much Jack had said to him. Maybe he'd said something about her…

"We won't get stuck there. It'll just be a quick nip in and out… no chances for getting caught there." He hoped. It wasn't like it had happened that frequently. Just that once, when Rose had made a mess of time by saving her dad. Oh, and that once when the TARDIS fell into the middle of a planet. And maybe a few other times… well, anyway, they were rare, and Gwen didn't know about them anyway, so all in all… "I promise." He didn't even cross his fingers. Probably making a huge mistake there. As huge as claiming "Nothing can possibly go wrong" or "This is gonna be the best Christmas Walford's ever had". Still, mistakes were part of the fun.

Owen cleared his throat. "Well. I want to come." They all turned to look at him. "I just think you might need some help," he added, shrugging.

The Doctor nodded. "Right. Thanks." He raised his eyebrows at Gwen. "Anyone else?"

She eyed him, her face a complete mask. He wondered if that was a pre-requisite for joining Torchwood, the ability to utterly conceal one's feelings, or whether it was part of the basic training. He'd never met a bunch of people so hard to work out. Well, apart from Jon. After that argument about telepathy, the Doctor had sat his son down and explained how to keep him out.

"Imagine a door in your mind and shut it," he'd said, unable to avoid remembering the last time he'd said that to anyone. Reinette. The complications she'd created in his life. The heartache she'd caused not only him, but Rose too. It had taken him a few weeks to realize exactly what him leaving like that had done to his companion. She had Mickey, she hadn't seemed to mind. It was only when he thought about what she'd done for him, how she'd just let him go like that… Afterwards he couldn't believe he'd been so blind to what was right in front of him. He was sure he wasn't just being egotistical when he was able to state that Rose loved him. It had taken Reinette to make him finally realize that. More though, it had taken that one day with the French noblewoman to rediscover parts of himself that he hadn't dared touch for so long. Falling in love with Reinette had only been the start. Once those floodgates had been opened, he couldn't turn the tide. He'd built a wall between himself and Rose which had been crumbling daily, but after Reinette… well, it came crashing down.

Jon had obviously followed his advice to the letter; his mind was an impenetrable fortress now. And as for Abby… he'd never figured her out properly.

Eventually Gwen spoke. "Okay." She ran her palms over her denim clad legs anxiously. She nodded. "Okay, let's do it. Only try and make it quick."

Owen snapped into action. "We'll go and check the equipment out," he gestured towards the rooms they'd stowed their guns in. "Just in case."

Abby's eyes flickered between Jon and the Doctor as the Torchwood team trooped down the corridor. "Um… I'll give them a hand," she said at length. Jon made a move to protest, but she raised her eyebrows at him pointedly, before leaving the two together. She just hoped they wouldn't rip each other in two.

The Doctor perused the screen again. "No specific date," he mused.

"None at all?" Jon looked over his shoulder, though he had to admit that the wiggly line in front of him meant nothing to him. "What are you going to do then? You can't just head for 1941 and hope for the best. Can you?"

The Doctor scratched his ear. "No. No, but there's a rough timescale. Look." He pointed. "Around April or May. More likely to be April. Early April. Maybe… fifteenth, sixteenth… something like that." He began pulling a few levers and twisting some knobs. He glanced up as Jon still stood, hands in pockets, looking at the screen in front of him. "Want to help?"

Jon jumped, coming back from whatever reverie he'd been in. He looked amazed to be asked. "Me? Help? After the mess I made earlier?"

"Well, a few mistakes here and there. Everyone makes them, I won't hold them against you. So long as you learn from them." He fixed his son with a firm look.

Jon nodded quickly. "Oh, yeah, I've learnt from it. Don't go stealing Dad's time machine without checking first." He froze as the word he'd been deliberately avoiding for days slipped out involuntarily. His eyes flew to the Doctor.

The Doctor had heard it and it had momentarily sent a tingle down his spine. It was a long time since he'd been called that. One glance at Jon though convinced him that he should ignore it; it obviously was a slip of the tongue, and not fully intended. Even so, it was a start.

"That's right." He nodded. "Partly my fault, I should have taught you something about how to fly the old girl. Doesn't entirely excuse you though." He pressed a few more buttons. "Give that lever on your left a tug." Jon's hand moved towards a lever. "No! Not that one! Pull that one and…."

"And what?" Jon asked, curious over what such an innocuous looking lever could do.

"And…. Well, something bad will happen." The Doctor tried to gloss over it, but Jon wouldn't let it go.

"You don't know, do you?" His eyes danced with excitement suddenly. "You don't know what that lever does! A lever on your _own ship_ and you don't know what it does!" He was irrationally elated at that.

The Doctor was unable to keep the smile out of his voice as he looked at Jon's wide-eyed grin. "You look like your mum when you're like that." Jon's face clouded over almost instantly, but the Doctor didn't back down. Far from it; he walked round to Jon's side of the console again and leaned next to him. "She used to muddle stuff up all the time. Always nearly getting us killed by pressing the wrong button or pulling the wrong lever." He scrutinized the array next to him. "That one _there_," he pointed, "was her particular favourite."

"And what does that do?"

"That, well, that particular lever is supposed to activate the emergency escape hatch in the floor."

"And that's a problem because…?" Jon asked, slightly bewildered.

"Rose liked to attempt to pull it when we were in deep space." Jon winced. "Yeah, that's the face she tended to pull."

Jon fiddled with the dimmer switch on the console panel, the one switch the Doctor had so far shown him how to use. "So you used to let Mum fly the TARDIS?"

"Not likely!" The Doctor laughed. "She used to assist. No, she wouldn't be able to handle this old girl. Not even Rose Tyler could manage the TARDIS."

Jon noticed the shine that came into the Doctor's eyes when he said his mum's name, and the way the words rolled of his tongue. He made her name sound legendry, like that of a goddess or a world leader. Not the name of a single mother of twins from London.

"Did Mum make a lot of mistakes when she was with you, then?"

The Doctor pulled a face. "I wouldn't say _mistakes_, more like… little slips." Like completely disobeying him and saving her father's life. Like misjudging Adam. "She wandered off a lot." Jon smiled. "Does she do that still?"

"She wandered off on our birthday," Jon reminded him, to which the Doctor lowered his eyes guiltily. "It's okay," Jon said, and he realized that it was. He didn't hold it against her anymore. Not since seeing her and the Doctor this morning. He'd never seen her smile like that before. "Is that why she got left behind?"

The Doctor's eyes widened. "What? No! Who said she got left behind?" Jon didn't answer immediately. "Who? Is that what Rose told you?"

"No. She never said how you and her broke up. She just to say our dad had gone away and wouldn't be coming back." Jon swallowed a lump in his throat. "Did you just leave her behind?" His mum loved this man completely and utterly, he'd seen it in her whole face on that snow swept street. If he'd dared to turn his back on that, walk away from her… Jon felt the familiar anger rise up again. He managed to keep a lid on it though; he needed to hear what the Doctor had to say.

The Doctor looked pained. "No. Well, I guess, _yeah_, but… I didn't want to." Jon looked confused and raised his eyebrows, pressing him for an answer. "Jon, I'm not sure if I should be telling you… Maybe it would be better coming from your mum…"

"Mum's not here. You are."

There was logic in that, he supposed. The Doctor ran his hands through his hair and over his face several times, before beginning. "Right. There were these ghosts-"

"What?"

"If you're going to interrupt…"

"Sorry."

The Doctor continued. "There were these ghosts and we started investigating them. It turned out they weren't ghosts after all, but these Cybermen… like these sort of… robot… things…" He struggled to describe them properly.

"I know what Cybermen are." The Doctor looked at Jon in amazement. "It's a modern legend where I come from. And Granddad's all tied up with them." He shrugged. "Everyone knows about them."

"Okay, so Cybermen. And then there were these other aliens, the Daleks." The Doctor considered explaining the history to them, but then decided against it. There wasn't enough time. "And they didn't really get on. So we sort of got caught in the cross fire."

"And?" Jon prompted. "I'm assuming you defeated them, seeing as they aren't wandering around here now."

"Oh yeah. I defeated them." The Doctor let out a long sigh. _I win. How about that?_ He wondered when winning would start to feel good. "I sent them into this sort of… voidy place. Only problem was, I had to send your mum and grandma away first."

"How do you mean, away?" Jon frowned. "And what about Granddad? And Mickey?"

"Ah. Your Granddad and Mickey were already there, they sort of… went ahead." The Doctor really didn't want to explain about Pete right now. That would be so much better coming from Rose. "In your universe. The void was sort of in the middle, a sort of… nothingness in between. Anything that had any of the void stuff on it would get pulled in when it was reopened."

"And the Cybermen and… Daleks, is it? They had void stuff on them?"

"Tons of the stuff. It was just a case of opening the void and they'd all go away."

"But?"

The Doctor rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Me and Rose had been through the void before. We had some of it still on us. So I sent her away. I had to, it was the only way to keep her safe."

"And that's the last time you saw her?" Jon raised his eyes to meet the Doctor's. To his surprise, his father smiled rather wryly.

"No. Your mum wasn't quite that willing to leave without a fight. She can be pretty stubborn you know."

"Yeah. Janie's inherited it from her."

The Doctor decided not to remark on Jon's own willfulness. "And so she came back. She said she wouldn't leave me." His voice became wistful. "She was determined you know, determined to fight to the last. To go down fighting. But it was too strong, she couldn't hold on against it. I could only watch her." He shook himself back to the present. "Luckily Pete came for her. Took her back with him." He stood up abruptly. "I closed the void, saved the world… even managed to see her once more to say goodbye. All in a day's work." He shoved his hands in his pockets and sauntered back round to the other side of the console. "Right, you ready to pull the _other_ lever on your left when I say?" Jon didn't answer. "Jon?" He looked up to see his son, staring down at the console, his eyes glazed over. "Jon, are you okay?"

Jon was lost in his own thoughts. It was strange; he could practically see the scene the Doctor had described, playing out in his head, like he'd been there, like he'd experienced it. He could even hear his mother's screams as she hurtled across the space towards an ever-pulling void. And then she was stranded. The way she'd looked at the Doctor, her hand in his… no wonder she'd never smiled like that again.

"Jon?" He came back to the present to hear the Doctor's concerned voice. "Jon, what's wrong?"

Jon shook his head. "It's just… what you do… all this…" He gazed around the control room, unable to articulate what he was feeling in words.

Luckily, he didn't need to.

"I know." The Doctor met his eye and Jon knew he understood.

* * *

"Owen, do you really think we'll need all of this?" Tosh asked, looking at the pile of weapons they had stacked up. "How are we even meant to carry all of these?" 

"Well, of course we won't need _all_ of them!" Owen rolled his eyes. "It depends what we're fighting!"

"Oh right. So if we're carrying the wrong weapon, we'll excuse ourselves?" Ianto deadpanned. "'Sorry, can you hang on a minute, I don't have the gun that'll blow your particular species' brains out.'"

Owen glowered at him. "Have you got a better idea?"

"Owen, we won't even need any weapons, Janie's on her own." Tosh tried to keep the peace.

"And you believe everything that computer tells you, do you?" Owen demanded, as he loaded another gun, before handing it to Gwen. "I'm not taking any chances. Not this time." He saw the look on Janie's face flash across his eyes again and shook his head. "Anyway, it's not always aliens, is it?"

Gwen froze as she fiddled with the gun he'd handed her. "Owen? You don't mean you'd shoot… a _person_, do you?"

Owen looked away, and searched for another gun amongst the pile of weapons they already had. "If I had to. I'm just saying, Janie could be in other trouble other than aliens." And humans were a lot easier to take down.

Gwen was so unsure about what they were doing. All this time traveling business… this wasn't what she'd signed up to Torchwood for. Aliens were one thing, but going into the past… she wasn't entirely comfortable with that. But she didn't have much choice. Abby and Jon were going. They were just kids, they needed someone to look out for them. And Owen was like a ticking timebomb at the moment, liable to explode at any second. She couldn't possibly let him go alone. And then there was Janie. That poor girl would need all the help available. She didn't have a choice.

Abby leant against the wall, rolling her well-chewed gum around her mouth. Her dad always said she'd spent too much time on the farm when she did that.

"You look like you're chewing the cud," he complained. "Do you have to do that here?"

She hoped Jon and the Doctor were getting along. It didn't sound like they were at each others throats, but that didn't mean much. They seemed to have perfected silently resenting each others' existence. Maybe finding Janie would solve that problem; maybe Janie would bring the two of them together, in a way Abby had never managed. She felt her stomach sink to impossibly low levels. If they found Janie today, the adventure was over. And she wondered where that left her.


	48. Chapter 47

**This is going to absolutely positively be my last update for maybe a week or so. I have the most hectic schedule this week with starting a new job and revision sessions at uni, and uni work and MY BIRTHDAY NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As you can tell, I'm fairly excited, far too excited to be really turning 20 lol. And this is a very lengthy chapter so I think I have a right to chill for a while! It all sort of came together in a bit of a mess, this chapter... I didn't really know when to stop and move on to another chapter. Still, it makes up for the randomness of chapter 51 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ABOUT CHAPTER 51. Sorry, I am in the weirdest mood. I saw Billie Piper in Treats last night in London and she was so good, the acting was better than the play which was pretty ropey. Kris Marshall and Lawrence Fox were good too, and its obvious they all get along really well. Wrote a review about it today for my journalism portfolio... I so love doing random modules like this. I'm just gonna go proof read my essay on Liz Hurley's wedding... only at my uni!**

**Hope you enjoy the chapter! It actually for once brings everyone crashing together in a chapter!**

**

* * *

**It had been five days since that night spent down in the cellar. Five days in which Janie had tried desperately to come to terms with so many disturbing facts. She'd somehow ended up in 1941, in the middle of the London Blitz. She often wondered if that was really true, if in actual fact she'd died or something, and this was hell. It certainly sounded a lot like what she imagined hell would sound like as the bombs exploded all across the city. Or maybe she was dreaming it; it wouldn't be the first time she'd dreamt strange things. It all felt so real though; she could hear the bombs, and smell the fires and feel the tension in the air. If this was a dream, she hoped she'd wake up soon. 

Gradually though, she'd had to accept that this wasn't a dream. Time was passing far too slowly for it to be a dream and, apart from the fact that she was in the middle of World War Two, everything seemed… well, far more _normal_ than she'd been accustomed to lately. Normal in that (she could hardly believe she was admitting this to herself) there were no aliens here.

When the all clear had sounded that night, Janie was awoken from her uneasy doze. She jerked awake with a start and at first wondered where she was. In a moment of dread, she'd thought she was back in the underground lair the aliens had kept her in for the past few days. Slowly her brain had caught up with itself though, and she realized that the heavy arm around her wasn't the hideous claws of that green creature, but the arm of that nice American soldier. He was smiling at her. Janie had wanted that moment to last forever; it felt like she was basking in sunshine when he smiled at her.

"Good sleep?"

"Yeah, it wasn't bad." Janie rubbed her eyes, as he removed his arm from round her and winced. "Oh sorry! Your arm must be dead!"

"It's alright." He shrugged. "Worse things happen in battle." He stood up. "Now. Where do you live?"

Janie wondered. She wondered if her home was even built yet, it had always seemed pretty modern to her. Even if it was, if this _was_ 1941… she didn't live there yet. She wasn't even _born_ yet. She shook her head and shrugged.

"You don't know where you live?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"No! I mean, yes, but…" Janie wondered how best to explain all of this to him. He'd never believe her. No one would. "I don't come from round here."

"You said you lived in London."

She had two options. Tell the truth, or lie. If she told the truth he'd think she was crazy and probably lock her up. She wasn't sure what she was going to do here, in this year, so far from home. She wasn't even sure how she'd got here. But something told her that being locked up in an asylum wouldn't be a good way forward. So the truth wasn't really an option. Lying it was then. It was just as well she'd had a lot of practice at lying with her mum; she'd learnt from the best, Janie thought, as she remembered those letters to her dad that she'd found.

"I meant I _did_ live in London."

Jack frowned. "So where do you live now?"

Oh, good one, Janie. She thought quickly. "Well, London…" Might as well play the sympathy card. "My parents died," she added.

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry about that."

"Yeah." Janie brushed it off, and sent a silent apology to her mum. And a prayer, just in case God did exist and was listening. "So I sort of don't live anywhere right now."

Jack nodded. "Right. Well, you can't stay down here."

That was for certain. As the soldiers and women who had been sitting down there filed out, Janie was becoming more and more aware of it being a cold dank cellar. Probably rat infested. She definitely didn't want to stay here. Even the music was being taken away as someone dismantled the gramophone, cutting off Vera Lynn's rendition of 'A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square' (Janie was able to identify that one; it was always on those Sunday afternoon Remembrance concerts, sung by whichever pretty classical singer was in vogue that month.)

"Hold on." Jack moved quickly from her side. "Jimmy!" The boy who had brought her here turned round. "Jimmy, can I have a word?" He nodded and walked back towards where they were.

"Jimmy, this is Janie."

"I know." Jimmy doffed his cap to her. His eyes were wide and he looked pretty terrified.

"Jimmy, how's your sister?"

Jimmy frowned. "She's alright. Missing the kids, but not bad."

"It's just Janie doesn't have anywhere to stay right now, so I was wondering if your sister would have a spare room."

Jimmy had dithered for a few minutes, and Janie hadn't blamed him. Strange girl appears out of nowhere; not the kind of house guest you'd want to enforce on anybody at any time, least of all your sister during a war. Jack, however, worked his magic, talking the young boy around, and within half an hour she found herself being walked round to fifty-four St. Albert Street. It was a small mid-terrace house; distressingly, the houses at either end had disappeared, replaced by a pile of rubble. Jimmy had noticed Janie glancing at them.

"Yeah, that happened a few weeks ago," he remarked. A look of horror must have passed across her face, as he quickly added, "They don't really want this area of the city though. That's just Jerry misfiring." A great comfort.

Jimmy's sister Margaret was still awake. The darkness was misleading, Janie realized. A lack of streetlights and the black out curtains in all the windows cast the streets into even greater blackness, making her believe that it was far later than it really was. The clock on the mantelpiece in the small and overcrowded front room was only just striking nine-thirty as she was shown in there.

Margaret and Jimmy remained in the narrow hallway, occasionally casting glances at her through the slightly open doorway. Janie managed to muster up a smile each time they looked, to which they barely responded, apart from to quickly look away again. She kept catching snippets of their conversation.

"But who _is_ she, Jim?" Margaret was saying, her face tight with anxiety. She was wearing a plain button-down dress and her short dark hair was curled tightly round. "Where's she come from?"

"I dunno." Jimmy seemed even younger in the presence of his older sister, and he scraped the floor shyly with his feet. "She was just out and about, so I took her down to the shelter. The Captain said to bring her here."

"Captain Harkness?" Margaret's voice lifted up at the end, and Janie stole a quick glance at her. If she hadn't known that Margaret was married with two children, she could have sworn that there was an admiring tone in her voice. Somehow the fact that she seemed to have a bit of a thing for Jack Harkness made Margaret less intimidating.

"Yeah." Jimmy nodded eagerly. "She didn't have nowhere else to go, Mags. I couldn't just leave her, could I?"

Margaret looked over at Janie again and pulled a face. "I suppose not. Alright, you can stay. Be a bit of company for me anyway. What's your name?"

"Janie," Janie answered quickly, sensing that Margaret's mood might change again soon.

"I'm Maggie." Margaret said. Then she turned on her brother. "You should be getting back to barracks, before they think you've gone AWOL. Go on!" She shooed him out the door, but not before adding, "Be careful, Jim." She closed the door quickly after him. She beckoned to Janie. "Come on through to the kitchen. We don't use the front parlour much, Tony prefers to keep it for best." She managed a smile, and really, she looked quite pretty when she smiled, and much younger too. "I'll put the kettle on."

Over the following three cups of tea, which were perfect apart from the lack of sugar ("Sorry, but you know what it's like, with rationing and everything."), Janie learnt a lot about her new landlady. She was twenty-seven, her husband Tony was away in France at the moment, but he should have some leave soon.

"Are these your kids?" Janie asked, picking up a framed photograph from the work surface. It was a strange place to keep a photo, but Janie rather liked the higgledy piggledy nature of Maggie's house; it was comforting somehow. It reminded her of her own room at home.

"Yeah." Maggie nodded and took it off of her. A smile broke across her face as she looked at it. "That's Anthony." She pointed at the little blond boy, he looked about seven or eight. His front teeth were both missing in the photograph and his tongue poked through as he smiled, giving him a cheeky look. "And that's Sarah." Sarah was a tiny dot of a six-year-old, with long light brown hair tied into two pretty plaits.

"Where are they?" Janie asked without really thinking. From the look on Maggie's face, and what she now remembered from what Jack and Jimmy had said, it dawned on her. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized rapidly. It was war time; the kids would be out in the country somewhere, safe.

"It's alright." Maggie shook her head. "I forget sometimes, keep thinking I can hear Anthony making a nuisance of himself upstairs."

"Where are they?"

"Wales. I had a letter from Anthony a few weeks ago, actually, he thinks it's great." Maggie smiled, but Janie could see a sadness in her eyes. "He was talking all about the animals out there and how he's allowed to help collect the chickens' eggs. It's a big farm, you see, they took both of them, and a couple of their friends from school too. It's nice, they're all together." But still her words were tinged with melancholy.

Janie thought she could guess what was causing that. She sat down next to her at the small kitchen table, and said gently, "I'm sure they're missing you."

Maggie turned her watery-blue eyes on her. "Do you think so?"

"I know so." Janie was unable to keep her mind from wandering back to her own mum. She felt awful for the things she'd said to her the last time she'd spoken to her_: I don't want to hear anymore lies, Mum, that's all you've ever told us._ If she'd known that would be the last time she spoke to her… she'd have said so much more.

"I keep worrying that they'll forget all about me," Maggie said sadly, staring down at the photo in her hands. "They've been gone nearly nine months…"

Janie smiled. "They won't forget you. I bet they can't wait to come back home."

Maggie sighed and looked around at her kitchen. "Might not be much left to come back to," she said. Then she shook her head. "Anyway, enough about me. What about you? Have you got any family?"

Janie remembered her lies. "My mum and dad died," she said.

"In the war?"

"Yeah…" Hell, why not? "A bomb fell on our house, it was unexpected, they didn't get out in time."

"How comes you weren't hurt?"

Oh think! "I… climbed into a cupboard." She inwardly winced at what she was saying, certain that Maggie would never believe it.

"Does that really work then?" Maggie was wide-eyed. "They keep saying that kind of thing should work, but I've never actually believed it."

Janie shrugged awkwardly. "Worked that time. I wouldn't recommend it though." The last thing she wanted to do was kill poor Maggie by giving her such lame advice as that.

"What about brothers and sisters?"

Jon. Janie felt a yearning for her brother like never before. She'd never spent so long without seeing him or hearing from him before. Out of everyone she missed, she missed him the most. She couldn't bring herself to kill him off too. "My twin brother's away at war."

"Twins?" Maggie sounded surprised. "That's unusual!"

"Yeah." Janie nodded. It had always struck everyone as a little unusual, especially seeing as there was no history of twins in the family. Well, on Rose's side of the family. Maybe on her dad's…

Maggie gave another sigh. "So we're both stuck here then. Alone." She sighed again and then stood up to wash their cups out. "Still. Not so bad, is it? At least we've got each other."

* * *

In the following few days, Maggie helped Janie to adjust to living life the 1940s way. The first thing she did was find her some clothes. Maggie was a few inches taller than her, and a bit heavier too, "but until we get your vouchers sorted out, these'll have to do," Maggie declared as she finished adjusting Janie's borrowed dress. She laughed. "Well, it might need taking up a bit," she concluded, as Janie almost tripped over the hem. "But it'll do for now." 

Janie felt a bit guilty for taking so much off Maggie, in the way of clothes and food, but Maggie had batted away her protestations with a roll of her eyes.

"Oh, come on, Janie, it's a few old dresses that I've practically grown out of anyway, and anyway, it's nice having someone else around the house."

Jimmy called round almost daily, bringing cheerful stories from the soldiers' barracks and, once, a piece of meat that he smuggled in underneath his jacket. Janie wondered at how he was able to spend so much time away from the barracks.

"They don't mind much while we're in London." He shrugged when she asked him, as he hungrily ate a thick slice of bread and dripping. "Not much we can do while we're just sitting about. Might as well be here."

"Oi, leave some of that bread for us!" Maggie slapped his wrist as he reached for another. "Why don't you go home and both Mum, why do you always have to come round here?"

"You know what Dad's like." Jimmy had rolled his eyes and they left it at that, and Jimmy kept coming round. Janie was glad; she liked the banter between brother and sister, it was almost like being back at home with Jon. Though maybe cheerful banter was overstating the point.

Maggie told her of the clubs she could join and the jobs she could, "when you're a bit bigger. You're ever so thin, Janie!" But it was there that Janie felt her interest and even happiness at her new life stall. This wasn't just a short break, or a holiday, or even a gap year. This was it. This was her life now. She had no idea how she'd got here, so how could she ever figure out how to get back? And it was that which had driven her out alone one evening, the sixth evening since she'd come here. She'd told Maggie she was going to go to bed early, when Maggie offered to take her round to her Mum's place for the evening.

"Okay." Maggie had nodded. "If that air raid siren goes, though, straight down the garden, alright?"

"Yep, sure."

After an hour or so though, Janie had been unable to stand the eerie silence of the house and had found herself pulling on her borrowed coat and slipping on her borrowed shoes and heading out into the black night.

She'd walked for ages, trying to escape her lonely thoughts, and failing miserably. Finally she sat down on a bench in a park; in the dark she had no idea of which direction she'd taken, and there were no street signs to help her out. She was lost.

She let out a big sigh. Then she heard footsteps approaching her. She tensed, ready for flight. This had been a stupid idea, out on her own at night in a strange city, for even though this was London, it wasn't _her_ London, she had no idea who could be out there. Maybe this was it, maybe she was about to be murdered. That would at least solve her misery at being stuck here forever.

"Janie?" Her relief as she heard the familiar American voice was only outweighed by her sudden excitement. It was Jack.

"Hi." She smiled.

"What are you doing out here alone?" She could sense the disapproval in his voice, though she couldn't see his face in the gloom. "You know, you really shouldn't be out on your own."

"I know," Janie agreed. "I just fancied a walk." She remembered something. "Shouldn't you be at some dance? Jimmy mentioned a dance…" He'd awkwardly offered to take her, but she'd politely refused, with a small smile. He'd been excitedly talking about a Deidre Smith who had accepted his invitation two days before Janie arrived here.

"But if you want to come, I could tell Deidre I'd changed my mind…" he'd suggested, but she knew he was dying to take Deidre.

Jack sat down next to her on the bench. "I didn't fancy it."

Janie ventured to ask, "Didn't have anyone to go with?"

Jack laughed. "Something like that."

Janie didn't add, _You could have asked me_. He was practically old enough to be her dad.

"So, what brings you to this part of town?" she asked breezily.

"I could ask you the same thing," Jack remarked dryly. "It's a long way from Maggie's house to here."

"Is it?" she asked vaguely. She knew she'd been walking a long way but hadn't really registered the distance.

"St. Albert Street to Kensington Gardens?" Jack sounded surprised. "That's half the city."

Kensington Gardens. Well, at least she'd been here before, she wasn't in an entirely strange area of the city.

"I suppose." Janie nodded. "You didn't answer my question though. What made you come to Kensington Gardens?"

Jack shifted uncomfortably next to her, and she heard him scratching his neck. "Oh, I just fancied the walk. I was heading towards Hyde Park really, just took a short cut through here. Just as well I did, otherwise who knows what would have happened to you?"

Janie laughed. "I'd have been all right. I usually am."

Though she couldn't see him in the darkness, she suddenly felt his eyes land on her and bore into her. When he spoke again, his voice was much softer and sounded bemused. "Yeah. That's the impression I get of you, Janie Tyler. You're quite a survivor. It must be hard, with your parents gone. But Jimmy mentioned a brother, he said he was serving in the war? Maybe we could get in contact with him."

Janie felt a lump rise in her throat. "I don't think you could. He's… sort of a long way away."

"Even so, we could try?"

Janie suddenly hugged him, to his surprise.

"Oh." He started and then gingerly hugged her back. "Thank you. What was that for?"

"Being so nice."

Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew twigs and old fallen leaves across the ground in front of them. A noise like rushing air down a tunnel cut through the silence.

"What is it?" Janie asked, instinctively staying near Jack. "Is it an airplane?"

"No." Jack sounded stunned. "No, I don't think so."

Then before their eyes, a blue police telephone box materialized. And a man stepped out.

* * *

"Fifth time lucky," the Doctor said grimly as he landed the TARDIS again with a bump. As both Gwen and Tosh stumbled over, and even he had to reach for the rail to keep upright, he pulled a face. "Sorry." He pressed a few buttons on the screen. "Right. Twentieth of April 1941, evening." 

"Are we getting warmer?" Owen asked, rolling his eyes. "Are we actually on the right day yet?"

The Doctor gave him a slightly irritated look. "I don't know, Owen! We should have found her days ago, I could have sworn we were closer…" He couldn't quite work it out. The readings had clearly shown Janie to have come though on either the fifteenth or sixteenth of March, and yet when they'd dropped in, they'd found nothing. They'd even hung round for a few hours, but still there'd been no sign of her. Either he was getting bad with estimates, or something wasn't quite right. He wasn't sure which he preferred the sound of.

"Anyway." He picked his coat up off the chair he'd flung it on. "Better get outside and see what's going on. Everyone ready?" He looked round. Owen was already heaving up a massive gun, despite the fact that he was under strict orders not to open fire unless absolutely necessary. Jon nodded, his Adam's apple quivering. He looked terrified, something which had only intensified with each different landing they'd made. Strangely, with each subsequent stop, Gwen had seemed to gain more confidence from somewhere, and was now standing up straight, her shoulders thrown back, ready for anything. Abby, however, was hanging back.

"Ready Abby?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

Abby looked away, her green eyes slipping around the room, avoiding everyone. She forced her hands into her jeans pockets awkwardly and let her red hair fall across her face slightly. "I don't know, maybe I'll sit this one out," she said, shrugging. She must have been able to see the looks on both Jon's and the Doctor's faces as she hurriedly tried to justify her actions. "Well, you don't need me, do you? You've got loads of people, I'll just get in the way. I can help Ianto make coffee!" She grinned briefly at the Welshman who didn't look too amused. She sighed. "Janie won't want me there, it's you she'll want to see, she doesn't even know me. And I'm not great with guns and I'm feeling a bit headachy actually, so…" She'd run out of reasons so she stopped. She couldn't tell them the truth; even in her own head it sounded petty and childish. _Once you've found Janie, you won't want me anymore_. But she couldn't push the thought away. She'd been brought in by the Doctor as a replacement for Rose, and Jon had attached himself to her as a surrogate mum and sister. Soon all those places would be filled again. Leaving Abby as the spare wheel.

"Okay." The Doctor didn't seem sure still, but he turned his attention back to the others. "Come on, we better get out there." He led the way to the door and took a deep breath. Anticipation had been building since they'd found out where Janie had gone, and had only magnified each time he'd put the handbrake on. The other times had ended in disappointment, he knew, but he couldn't help that eternal nugget of hope rising up again, insisting that this was it, this was the right day, the right time, the right moment. That his little girl was just beyond those doors.

He stepped out into the dark. The night was silent, which at least made a welcome change. Three out of the other four nights they'd ended up on had been soundtracked by bombs and low-flying aircraft, forcing them to take refuge in the TARDIS till the all clear sounded. He looked round. And then his eye landed on her.

Her face was torn apart in fear and amazement as she stared at him. She was wearing a shabby dress and clearly borrowed shoes which looked miles too big for her. Her dark eyes were like hollow pits. But it was her. And she was even more stunning than she'd looked in the photos. The last time he'd seen her, he'd been too worked up and anxious, unable to stop talking for fear of losing the plot completely. He'd barely looked at her. But now he could see.

"Jon! Owen! We did it!" he called back to them through the door and they stepped out. Then he turned his attention back to Janie and gave her a broad smile. "Janie. We've come to take you home."

* * *

Janie stared at the three men and two women standing in front of her. She recognized them, or at least some of them. The guy in the brown suit, he'd been at the park that night… and… she gave a sharp intake of breath. Jon. She stood up and took a step towards him, but then pulled herself back. 

"Do you know these people?" Jack was at her elbow, eyeing the intruders suspiciously.

"I… I don't know." A sudden fearful sensation took over Janie. Everything had been so strange lately, things hadn't been what they seemed. She recognized Jon, she recognized the man in the brown coat, but how did she know it was really them? How did she know they wouldn't turn into one of those creatures again, just like Rich had?

Jack stepped in front of her slightly and faced them down. "Who are you?"

"Janie, it's me." Jon looked upset that she wasn't running straight towards him. But then, if he was trying to lure her into a trap, he would look like that, annoyed that she wasn't complying quite so easily.

"Janie?" Jack turned back to her again, a quizzical look in his face.

Janie shook her head miserably. "He's… he's my brother."

"Your brother? But you just said he was…"

"I know!" Janie snapped, and then immediately felt guilty. "I mean, I think it's my brother, I think…" Then her eyes alighted on the other man. He was shorter than Jon, wearing a leather jacket. He was wielding a massive gun, but Janie had gone past the point of being frightened of mere weaponry. It was his face. He looked so familiar. "Oh my God," she said in a small voice. "You're… you're the guy from the bar."

Everyone turned to look at him as she spoke, her eyes fixed on him and him alone. He looked uncomfortable and shifted his feet. He didn't reply. But he was, he was the guy from the bar all those weeks ago, who Jon had dragged her away from, insisting that he didn't seem right, he was too old for her, he was behaving strangely. The whole incident came rushing back to her with a severity that made her stomach churn. She hadn't thought about that evening since then… could barely even remember it. But seeing him again…

"Who are you?" Jack asked again, increasingly annoyed. "Are you spies?"

The man in the pinstripe suit sighed dramatically. "Every time. Absolutely every time." He straightened his face out. "No, we're not spies. We're… we're the cavalry."

"Which regiment?" Jack eyed them. No regiment he knew traveled round in magically materializing police boxes, and they certainly didn't consist of three strangely attired men and most definitely wouldn't have two women in them. Something wasn't right here.

"Oh, I didn't mean literally." The man ran a hand over his face. "I'm the Doctor. Who are you?"

"Captain Jack Harkness, RAF."

The gasp from all of them took both Jack and Janie unawares. They were all staring at him now, like they'd been staring at the man from the bar only seconds before. Janie bit her tongue firmly and found her voice.

"What are you looking at?" she demanded, looking between this Doctor and her brother. "Why are you looking at him like that?"

"That's not Jack." One of the women, with a strong Welsh accent said, her voice disbelieving. "That's not…"

"Yes it is." The other woman, a Japanese woman, said suddenly. "That's… that's the real Jack."

The Welsh woman turned to her like she was about to say something, but the Doctor interrupted them.

"We don't have time for this," he insisted, though he still eyed Jack curiously. "Janie, we've come to take you back home."

Janie cast her eyes around the group. They seemed normal, but that didn't mean anything. Anyone who was promising to take her back home must be crazy or another one of those creatures. Home was a long way from here.

"What? In that?" she asked, nodding towards the police box. She shook her head. "No, you're lying." She stepped backwards and instinctively tugged on Jack's sleeve. "Come on, we need to go."

But Jack was now staring at the Japanese woman. "What do you mean, I'm the real Jack?" he asked, frowning.

The Doctor shot the woman a fierce glare, then turned back to Jack. "Nothing, she didn't mean anything by it. Now. Janie." He gave her a firm look out of deep brown eyes. Janie had seen those eyes before… "Come on."… She had the exact same eyes.

Logically, Janie knew it was stupid. Logically, she should have backed away further and run, run until her legs gave way. Because things like this didn't happen, things didn't fall into place so easily. But logically, she shouldn't be trapped in 1941. So to hell with logic.

"Daddy?" she said in a tiny voice. She didn't think it would have carried across the space between them. But it must have done, because his features, which had so far been marked with lines and worry, suddenly broke out and lit up into a wide grin.

"Hello." His voice was just as soft as hers.

"Oh my God." Janie clapped a hand over her mouth, feeling her knees start to tremble and her whole body beginning to shake.

"But you said your parents were dead?" Jack exclaimed.

Janie looked up at him guiltily. She felt such a hypocrite, after causing such a fuss over her mum's lies. Now here she was, barely a week later (she supposed, time had become so scrambled for her lately), and she was tied up in her own web of deceit. Jack had been so good to her, so had Maggie and Jimmy and everyone. And she'd rewarded them with lies after lies after lies.

"I…" She tried to explain, but then found she didn't have to, as the Doctor moved alongside her and took her hand gently.

"We sort of got… separated," he said, giving her a sly wink. "But I've found her now." Then he squeezed her hand tightly. "Right, ready to go then, Janie?"

Janie nodded and then bit her lip. She turned to look at Jack again. "Jack, I have to go… I…"

Jack eyed the man holding her hand. "Janie, are you sure this man is-"

"Yes." Janie nodded emphatically.

Jack nodded. "Right. Well. I guess we don't need to search for your brother then," he joked, but there seemed a sadness about his face.

"No," Janie agreed. "Will you… will you tell Maggie…?"

He nodded again. "Sure. I'll say you've found your family." He shook his head abruptly. "I should be getting back to barracks, good luck, Janie." And then he was walking away. Gently, the Doctor guided Janie into the police box and shut the door.

* * *

"Hold on!" Owen exclaimed. "We can't just let him go! What if he goes talking? We can't just let him know stuff like this!" He was twitching anxiously, still unable to forget the moment when everyone had turned to look at him, and desperately avoiding everyone's eye. 

"Owen, leave it," Tosh instructed him, her voice sounding weary. It was unusual for her to give orders, and it pulled him up short, but he still tried again.

"But…"

"Owen!" Tosh snapped. "He doesn't need Retcon, okay? Today's the twentieth of April. He dies in less than a month."

"What?" Janie stared at her in disbelief and turned to look up at the Doctor. "I need to go and tell him! I need to…

"Janie, you can't." The Doctor spoke firmly. "You can't tell him."

"Why not?" she demanded, tossing her long brown hair tempestuously. "He needs to know, he can't just…" She stared at the doors numbly, suddenly feeling weary. Then she felt the Doctor gently take her by the arm.

"Come on. I think you need to lie down."

* * *

Janie had fallen into a deep sleep entirely unaided by anything Owen could produce. Sheer exhaustion had taken over and she wasn't even snoring. She looked so innocent and child-like lying in that way, her brown hair fanned out across the pillow and her face totally relaxed. She reminded the Doctor of Rose when she slept; he'd spent so many wonderful hours just watching Rose, marveling at her carefree appearance after their many adventures. He had often wished that that innocent expression remained when she woke up. But it always slipped, and he was certain the same would happen to his daughter. 

Finally, he left the doorway to her room and headed along the corridor to the control room. The Torchwood team had all retired to their rooms shortly after drinking the coffee Ianto had produced on their return to the TARDIS. The Doctor didn't quite know how they did that; drinking coffee seemed to be part of their nightly ritual. Mind you, he supposed if they wanted any chance of keeping up with the ball of energy that went by the name of Captain Jack Harkness, they'd need more than a few expressos every now and again.

"Is she all right?" Jon asked almost the second the Doctor came within sight of the control room.

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah. She's fine." He nodded down the corridor. "I think it's about time you went to bed too."

To his surprise, Jon didn't argue. "Yeah, I know." He made to walk down to his room and then hesitated and turned round. "Mum… we should call her…" His gaze rested on his mobile phone, still lying where he'd discarded it days ago.

"I'll work on that." The Doctor picked it up and ran his eye over it again. "I'm sure there must be a simple solution…" His mind was already drifting away, thinking of resonating and rewiring and recharging and all sorts of words beginning with R. Jon nodded and walked away.

Leaving Abby. She'd been lurking around the edges of the control room ever since they'd come back in, keeping out of the way and, for once, keeping her mouth shut. Well, not quite, but chewing gum didn't really count. Now she stepped back into the light.

"Is that it then?"

The Doctor turned to look at her like he'd forgotten she was there. If he was honest, he had, partly. The last few hours had been so full of his daughter that he'd barely noticed anyone else. It took his mind a few seconds to swerve away from thinking about Jon's mobile to think about this girl in front of him.

"Is what it?"

"The legend thing. This… Pendulum thing?" Abby raised her eyebrows.

The Doctor smiled. "Piaculum."

"Right. That. Is it over? Now you've found Janie, is that it?"

The Doctor considered the question for a few moments. Abby stared up at him, wide-eyed. He couldn't count the number of people who had looked at him look like in his life. Absolute trust, relying on him to know what he was doing. To tell them the truth. To know what was right.

"Yeah. That's it," he said finally, as he exhaled slowly.

"Really?" She was good, that was for sure. Abby Dean was one of the best companions he'd ever had. This tenacity was one of her strengths. And one of his weaknesses. She always seemed to know when something was wrong, and never let anything go.

"Really. Would I lie to you?" He gave her a cheesy grin.

Abby's eyes flickered around his face, her gaze impenetrable. What was it with people getting so good at hiding their thoughts, he wondered?

She spoke again, quietly. "I don't know. I really don't know." Then she turned and walked away down the corridor, leaving the Doctor alone with the horrendous thoughts thundering through his mind.

* * *

The telephone rang. And rang. And rang. It took at least six rings before Rose emerged from her alcohol-induced stupor._ This_ was why she didn't drink, she remembered, as the morning sunlight streaming in through the window bored into her eyes and made her stomach writhe uncomfortably. And that ringing was driving her insane, if only it would stop… 

With a sudden leap, she dived to where the discarded portable phone was lying in an armchair. She was always doing that, she was as bad as Janie when it came to remembering to put it back on the charging dock. Through half-closed eyes, she scrabbled around for it.

"Rose! Can you just shut that thing up?" Jack groaned, opening his eyes briefly and then slumping back against the sofa cushions again, burying his head against the side of it.

Rose hit the answer button.

"Rose?"

"Doctor?" Rose's voice was raspy and faint, but it was enough to make Jack lift his head up and stare at her.

"Yep, correctamundo… My God, what is it with me and that word?" He sounded outraged at his own repetitiveness, and Rose laughed, much harder than she would normally have done, and against her own better judgement. Her head didn't appreciate the reverberations round her skull.

"What took you so long?" she demanded, remembering that she was actually pretty angry with him. "You said you'd fix Jon's phone, you said…"

"Yeah, I know, it all got a bit confusing, sorry about that. It has only been a few days."

"Try weeks," Rose replied softly.

"Really?" She could imagine the pained expression he was pulling on the other end of the line. "Ooo. Sorry."

That didn't matter though. "Is Jon there? Have you found Janie?" Her heart pounded painfully against her chest as she waited for the answer. It seemed to be forever in coming.

"Yeah, we found her."

Rose's face split into a grin, and she didn't even care about the throbbing in her temples that caused. Jack raised his eyebrows. She nodded eagerly at him, her eyes suddenly shining with tears. Jack grinned back at her.

"We found her, she's fine."

"Can I speak to her?"

"She's sleeping at the moment. So's Jon actually." He sounded a bit edgy about that.

"Oh." Rose couldn't quite see why he'd called her when the kids weren't there. "Right."

"I know, I should probably have waited until they woke up, but… I just wanted to talk to you."

She forgave him everything. "That's all right. So long as they are both okay?"

There was a long pause, in which Rose imagined all sorts to have happened. Then, "Yeah, they're fine. They're better than fine, they're… oh, they're great, Rose." The sincerity in his voice couldn't be faked.

Rose smiled softly. "Yeah, they are. So, when are you coming home?" She couldn't wait to gather them up in a huge hug. All three of them. She was never letting them out of her sight again.

Again, there was a pause. She supposed it could have been a time delay on the line, but something didn't feel right. "Oh, soon. There's just a few things that need tying up here first."

"Like what?" She didn't know what it was. Mother's intuition? A sixth sense? Or just that she knew the Doctor, she knew his every mood swing and the way his world worked. She knew this evasive technique, she'd seen it used before.

"Just a few bits and pieces."

"But it's over, right? This legend…?" Say yes.

"Yes, of course it is. All finished with, over, done, finito." There were bleeps down the line. "Listen, this is draining the battery, Earth workmanship and all that. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay. Bye. Tell the kids…" The line went dead. Rose took the phone down from her ear and stared at it, as though she'd never seen anything like it before.

"Well?" Jack prompted her. He was literally on the edge of his seat, so close Rose feared he could slip any second.

Rose let out a long breath. "Yeah, they've found her. She's safe."

"That's fantastic!" Jack leapt up and Rose found herself being pulled to her feet beside him. Even in Jack's strong grip, she somehow didn't feel all there. It felt like part of her had been left behind somewhere.

"Rose?" Jack was looking at her in concern. "It is fantastic?"

"Yeah, course it is!" Rose forced a smile. "Fantastic news." Even saying that word made her shudder involuntarily. Her head ached and she was convinced it wasn't just the excessive amount of vodka she'd had last night.

"But?"

She should have known she could never hide anything from Jack. She'd been wondering more and more over the last few weeks what their relationship was and now it came at her like a bullet train through a tunnel. Honest, that's what their relationship was.

"Something's wrong, Jack." Now she'd said it out loud she was only more convinced of the truth. "Something's really not right, I mean, he said it was over, he said she was okay, but…" She shook her head. "He's lying."

Jack took it in his stride, just like she'd known he would. "You think something's wrong with Janie?"

"Or Jon, or both of them or…" Rose couldn't describe the feeling exactly. "I just _know_ that what he's saying isn't the truth. Or at least, not the whole truth."

Jack bit his lip before saying, "You don't think it's over, do you?"

Rose shook her head. "No. And I think he knows it's not."

Jack nodded grimly. "Right. Well. Only one thing for it then." He let go of her shoulders and pushed her towards the door. "Go and pack a bag."

"Jack…" Rose looked at him quizzically.

"We're going after them." Jack picked his jacket up from the chair he'd flung it on days ago. He turned to look at her. "If you think something's wrong, we better go and see for ourselves."

Rose hesitated for a moment. This was so unlike her these days, acting rashly. She'd only acted rashly once in recent years, and look where that had ended up. "The Doctor said not to…" she reminded him. "He said-"

"Well he's not here!" Jack snarled suddenly, to her surprise. Then he resumed his usual calm voice. "And we are. And we're going through the Rift."


	49. Chapter 48

**First update as a non-teenager! That's exciting. Got the three Torchwood novels for my birthday, hooray. And finally regained some inspiration and cracking on with chapter 52. You don't really care about the rest of my life, so I'll just let the chapter speak for itself. Another long'un I'm afraid.**

**

* * *

**"Why didn't you say anything?" 

Owen shrugged. "Wasn't much to say."

"Owen, you met Janie weeks ago!" Gwen exclaimed. "How can you say there wasn't much to say?" As far as she could tell, there was _everything_ to say.

"Tosh met the real Jack weeks ago!" Owen pointed out. "She sort of neglected to tell us that!"

"That's not the same!"

"How is it not the same?"

"We weren't searching for the real… for _him_." Gwen shook her head, trying to rid herself of the haunting image of the real Captain Jack Harkness. "Owen, you could have known something vital, you could have…" She broke off, not knowing how exactly Owen having met Janie could have helped, but feeling somewhere deep down inside, in her bones, that it would have done.

"I met her in a bar, once, weeks ago." Owen said slowly and irritably. "I had no idea she had anything to do with Rose's stupid missing kids. I didn't even know we were going to end up searching for any kids, did I? So just drop it."

But Gwen wouldn't drop it. She couldn't. "But you _know_ her. You knew her all along and you never said, not once, you never-"

"Not all along."

Gwen paused and frowned. "What?"

"I said, not all along." Owen fell obstinately silent again, and nursed the mug of lukewarm coffee in his hands. Gwen had never felt more like thumping him in her life, but then she relented a little. She felt like this on a regular basis, really, and she usually managed to stop herself from inflicting too much pain on him. It was just the situation, the whole messy stupid situation. She ceased her pacing of the small kitchen on board the TARDIS and sat down at the table next to him.

"How long?" she asked after a long silence. He looked up sulkily. "Owen, don't be like that," she half-pleaded. "I'm just asking."

"What are you asking? How long? How long what?"

"Never going to make having a conversation easy, are you?" Gwen teased him and was glad to see a smile flash across his face, though he quickly forced his features back into their stroppy places. "I was just wondering, how long had you known who Janie really was? Since we met Rose?"

"No." Owen shook his head. "I mean, that photo we took from Rose's living room… she sort of looked familiar but… it was just one night, just some girl in a bar. It wasn't until later. When… when we saw her."

Gwen continued on hurriedly, as that image of the young girl being held captive by the aliens hung horrifically in the air between them. "You never said anything."

"Like I said. Nothing to say."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Stop saying that. You never even mentioned a girl in a bar."

"Yeah, well I don't discuss everything about my life with you!" Owen snapped. He pulled himself up short and closed his eyes wearily, before massaging them in their sockets. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I just…" He sighed. "I'm knackered."

"Yeah, we all are." Gwen nodded. "But we don't all forget to mention we've met the missing girl we're looking for."

Owen groaned. "God, Gwen, you must have been one bitch of a policewoman."

Gwen smiled. "I like to think so. Now come on." She nudged him good-naturedly. "I'm a good listener."

Owen smiled back at her. "Yeah, I know you are. I don't know what there is to say though really."

"You could start with when you had a chance to get to a bar to meet her. How did you manage to slip away from Jack?" In the days before they'd found Rose in the other world, Jack had been in particularly bad spirits. No one had been able to put a foot right, and they certainly hadn't been allowed out for a relaxing night in a bar. Gwen remembered not caring that much about her own exhaustion and misery, but instead wishing Jack would talk to her, say something, let some of that tension drop out of him. She supposed in a way, that night before they came away was his way of doing that. And now she'd served her purpose, and he was alright again. She wished she could resign herself to that.

"I said I was checking out something Tosh had found on the computer." Owen shrugged nonchalantly. "I needed a break. I wasn't having anyone, least of all bloody Captain Jack Harkness telling me what to do."

"You could have let the rest of us in on the secret," Gwen muttered. "We could all have done with a night out."

Owen looked at her guiltily. "I would have done, only…" He tailed off.

"You needed a break from everything?" Gwen didn't hold it against him. There'd been so many nights when she felt she'd have gone crazy if she didn't have her nice normal flat and nice normal boyfriend to hide away with, away from the weirdness at work. And then there were other nights when she was willing to do anything to break free from normal, to stay in the Hub a bit longer and be with people who understood what was going on.

"Yeah." Owen shook his head. "After Diane… sorry, you don't want to hear this."

Gwen shrugged. "Why not? I can hardly say you were cheating on me, can I? Not me with the long-term live-in boyfriend."

"You called me a right tosser at the time."

"Woman's prerogative," Gwen said glibly, before glossing over it. "Anyway, after Diane…?"

Owen sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped visibly. "After Diane, I just went a bit crazy I guess."

"No shit."

Owen glared at her. "Are you going to let me finish or not?"

"Sorry." Gwen held her hands up. "Go on."

"I know I did some stupid stuff. The Weevils and the Rift and the gun… I'm sorry. But it seemed right at the time, it seemed…" He rubbed his hand over his hair awkwardly. "I didn't know what I was doing."

"And Janie fits into this how?"

A small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth and his voice took on a dreamy quality. "Janie was… Janie was everything I needed that night. She was young and lively and innocent and-"

"Stunningly good looking?" Gwen suggested skeptically.

"That too. She was just everything I missed about… everything." He looked perplexed and confused, and in all honestly wasn't making the greatest sense. And yet something in his voice struck a chord with Gwen. She knew exactly what he meant.

A horrid thought struck her. Knowing Owen as she did, she couldn't help wondering… "Owen, you didn't…." She raised her eyebrows at him. "You didn't…?"

Owen looked disgusted. "Oh for God's sake, Gwen, what do you take me for? She's a kid, just a… kid." He shook his head. "Nah, anyway, even if I wanted to, Jon took her away. Didn't entirely trust me, I don't think."

Gwen frowned. "Jon's never mentioned you."

Owen gave a lop-sided uneasy grin. "That's the wonders of Retcon."

"Oh, Owen, you didn't!" Gwen exclaimed. Jack would kill him if he ever found out, using the memory loss drug on random strangers like that. "Why? She was no danger to you, she…" She closed her eyes in sudden realization. "You told her, didn't you? You couldn't wait to tell her, couldn't wait to spill all of… all of your life to some poor girl in a bar! And then you spiked her drink!"

"Don't you dare judge me, Gwen!" Owen snapped. "We don't all have a nice Rhys sitting at home day after day to talk to and cry on his shoulder. We're not all that lucky, some of us just have to get on with things and deal with it."

"By telling a girl in a bar all about it?" Gwen demanded. "You know I can't tell Rhys anything, you know I can't talk about things like that with him!" It drove her insane. She had this whole other life and Rhys just wasn't a part of it.

"No, that's why you wanted me, isn't it? Someone to talk to, someone who could hold your hand and say 'Oh don't cry, Gwen, it's alright, everything's going to be fine.'" His voice had taken on an ugly mocking tone and he stood up from the table, anger coursing through all his veins. "And then you just called it off, couldn't cope with the guilt. Don't you think _I _needed someone too?"

"It wasn't just that, though, was it, Owen?" Gwen pointed out.

"Oh, of course, Diane! But you've already said, how can you judge?" Owen growled. "I mean, first Rhys, then me, then back to Rhys, now Jack…" He broke off as an amazed look passed across Gwen's face. "Oh yeah. I know."

"But… how?" Gwen's voice was small and faint, her dark eyes wide in her pale face.

"It doesn't take a genius." Owen felt a bit bad about yelling at her now. "And no, no one else knows, before you ask. Ianto isn't baying for your blood yet."

Gwen smiled weakly before putting her head in her hands. "I never meant it to happen."

"No. We never do." Owen let out a long breath before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to leave the room.

* * *

The Doctor wasn't sure why he'd gone back to Cardiff. The feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn't a good one, it wasn't telling him that things would all be better if he headed back to the Welsh capital. In fact, if anything, they were suggesting that being so close to such a big and active Rift was possibly the worst idea in the known universe. Yet still he'd put in the co-ordinates and landed the TARDIS safely back outside the Millennium Centre. By the time the twins and Abby surfaced from their beds the morning after the rescue, they were back where at least one of them belonged. 

There'd been a loud squeal from Janie's room that had almost sent the Doctor running down the corridor armed with the sonic screwdriver set to maim, but he'd stopped himself when his daughter had come barreling down the corridor.

"My Ugg boots!" she'd exclaimed, her dark eyes flashing and her smile beaming round at everyone sat in there. "Jon, you remembered my Ugg boots!"

The Doctor looked down at her feet. He frowned before a small quizzical smile came over his face as he took in the cream suede boots on her feet, which she'd tucked a pair of black jogging bottoms into. He vaguely recognized those boots. He remembered Rose spending hours poring over a pair more than once when he'd stupidly allowed her to talk him into going shopping. She'd never bought any though; the price tag was too high. Clearly nothing was too good for her daughter though.

"Mum did," Jon replied, getting up from off the floor where he had been sitting beside Abby for the fifteen minutes since he'd made it out of bed, still in the shorts and t-shirt he wore at night. "You feeling all right today?"

"Yeah!" Abby nodded and increased her grin to one-hundred percent. The Doctor couldn't help thinking it looked a bit false. "All better! Had a fantastic sleep!" Her smile faltered a little and then she gave another shriek. "I just can't believe you remembered my Ugg boots!"

Abby gave a groan, which she'd intended to be out of earshot but was just slightly too loud. They all turned to look at her, directing their attention at her for the first time since Janie had first made her presence known this morning.

"You all right, Abby?" Jon frowned.

Abby scrambled to her feet. "Yeah! Fine!" The Doctor gave her a frown too, as he noticed her bright smile, bright enough to compete with Janie's. "Just… great." She shifted her weight from foot to foot anxiously. "Right. Well. I'm going to go and…" She tailed off; there was nothing to do. She forced the grin up again. "Well, you know." She laughed falsely and hurried down the corridor. She bumped into Ianto on the way down towards her room. He was dressed as usual in his pristine suit. Abby wondered if he ever let his hair down.

"What was all the shouting about?" he asked.

"Oh, Ugg boots." Abby saw a confused look flash across his face. "Don't worry about it, Ianto. It's not worth it."

"You sure?" Ianto fixed his eyes onto hers, and put so much meaning into those two words that Abby nearly answered him truthfully. Only nearly though.

"Yeah, certain." She nodded emphatically. He made to move past her. "Ianto?"

He turned.

"How do you fancy going out tonight?" It was an impulsive thought, and Abby knew that generally, her spur of the moment decisions ended in disaster and at least one person getting hurt, usually herself. But she never learnt from her own mistakes.

"Me? And… you?" Ianto looked at her uncertainly. "Um… Abby…"

"Oh, not like a date!" Abby laughed, colour rising in her cheeks. "Like a night out, like all of us, to sort of… sort of celebrate… stuff." She shook her head hurriedly. "Ignore me, stupid idea."

Ianto smiled. "No, it's a good idea. Do you want to ask the others?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll organize it." Abby nodded eagerly. It had been a rash decision but now that she'd made it, she couldn't wait to execute it. No matter how big the TARDIS was, she was feeling caged in here. She needed to get out.

Back in the control room, Jon seemed happy now his sister was up and about.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower." He gestured down the corridor, but his glances flickered between the Doctor and Janie. "That okay?"

"Fine." The Doctor nodded, not turning his head from where he was fiddling with a dial on the control panel. "Don't use up all the hot water." Jon gave him a perplexed look. He shrugged. "Seemed like the kind of thing you're expected to say."

Jon turned back to Janie. "I'm not going to be gone long, so…"

Janie rolled her eyes. "I'm a big girl, Jon, I can look after myself. I'm not some kid!" She pushed him with her hand. "Go!"

The Doctor stifled a grin. She was Rose re-incarnated in a younger form. Even (dare he say it) a prettier form… after all, she did have some of his blood flowing through her veins too, the kid couldn't help it…

"So." Janie spoke once she was certain Jon was out of earshot. "You're my dad."

The Doctor straightened up and put the sonic screwdriver away, sensing that this was a serious conversation and not the time to be making improvements to the TARDIS. He noted the TARDIS's silent sigh of relief and knew he'd been overdoing that in recent years.

"Yes." He nodded. "Is that a problem?"

Janie shrugged awkwardly. "No, I… I don't know." She chewed her lip in a way that was so Rose the Doctor found himself staring at her wonderingly again. After all the mess that he and Rose had ended in… something so wonderful had come out of it. This girl standing in front of him. That boy who'd just left the room.

She studied his face intently. "What are you?" she asked eventually. She blinked several times. "I mean, are you human?"

"Do I look human?"

"Well, yeah, actually," Janie replied, and he grinned. "But you're not, are you?"

He took a deep breath. "No. I'm not."

"So?"

"Time Lord."

"Alien?"

"Yeah. Is that alright?"

"Yeah. No. I don't know." Janie shook her head. She twisted her hands together anxiously and her eyes darted around the TARDIS uncertainly. She looked so much smaller now, when she stopped her excited screaming and let the mega-watt grin drop for a second. Like a little girl, lost in a strange place. Like her mother, he thought, and thinking of Rose made him know exactly what to do.

"Come here." He held his hand out. Janie hesitated and then put on trembling hand inside his. He pulled her towards him and then guided her into the chair by the side of the control panel. He was about to take his hand back when he found himself unable to detach it from her grip. Her knuckles were turning white from holding on so tightly, but he let her carry on.

"Right. Janie. I'm your dad. I'm an alien." He pulled a face. "Not the best way to start, is it?"

"No," Janie agreed. She looked at him. "You don't look alien. Not like…" She broke off and squeezed his hand extra tight for a split second before speaking again. "Alien. So that means me and Jon are…?"

"Part alien."

Janie gasped and made a strange pained noise.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that."

"No, it's fine." Janie shook her head. She took some deep breaths. It seemed she'd regained some of the feistyness he'd been warned about. She fixed him with flashing dark eyes. "Why didn't you ever come and see us?"

"Ah." The Doctor pulled a face again. "Bit of a tricky situation."

"For an alien?"

"For anyone. I didn't know you existed."

Janie blinked. "Sorry? What?"

"Your mum never mentioned you." Seeing the outraged look on her face, he continued in a hurry. "Not in like a bad way or anything, not because… Oh, it's very complicated." He ran a hand over his face as he began trying to explain. "There's all these different universes, you see, Janie, and I… and well, your mum, come from this universe, the one we're in now. But your mum ended up stuck in your universe and I couldn't get to her." Put like that it didn't sound so complicated. He wondered why he'd never tried it that way before. "Your mum never really had a chance to tell me about you. And even if she had… I couldn't have come and seen you."

"Would you have wanted to?"

A slow smile spread across his face. "More than anything. You, and Jon and your mum… if I could have…" He'd have done so much, if he could have.

It happened so quickly he nearly lost his balance as Janie sprang up and flung her arms around him. She was much shorter than he was, he'd hazard a guess that she was even shorter than Rose. At first he was at a slight loss to know what to do. Then something, he didn't know what, kicked in, and he hugged her back. His little girl, finally safe and here in his arms. He felt something he hadn't felt in a long long time wash over him and settle in his stomach, along with the foreboding feeling that had been dormant there since last night. He'd do anything for this girl, anything at all. Whatever was coming, because he was certain it was, whatever they wanted, they couldn't have it. They weren't taking this one away from him.

* * *

"You're doing what?" The Doctor looked at Abby as though she'd said she was buying a hippo. Come to think of it, he'd probably react less if she was. "What did you say?" 

"We're going out." Abby bundled her red hair up experimentally and pulled a face in the mirror in front of her. "What do you think?"

"Lovely. What do you mean, _out_?" The Doctor demanded.

Abby let her hair tumble down again. "The usual. You know. Leaving the house or… TARDIS." She shrugged. "Just a night out. A nice normal non-weird night out. You know." She turned to look at him and ran her eyes up and down him. "Actually, maybe _you_ don't," she said with a grin. "Normal isn't exactly your style."

The Doctor wasn't really in the mood for Abby's teasing. "But who's _we_?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "Just a whole load of us, me, Ianto, Tosh, Gwen-"

"Actually." They turned to see Gwen standing in the doorway to Abby's room, holding her suitcase. "I should probably go and see Rhys. You know, unpack and things. Get back to normal." Why was it that that word stuck in her throat?

"Oh." Abby nodded. "Right. Well, not Gwen then, but Owen and Jon-"

"No, Jon's not going." The Doctor spoke without thinking and instantly regretted it. There was no plausible explanation for it, or at least, not one he wanted to share with anyone on this TARDIS.

Abby stared at him. "You what? You can't be serious!"

"Deadly."

"Oh come off it!" Abby laughed at him. She really didn't seem to understand what he was telling her. But then again, why would she? He was suddenly acting all parental, setting down the law about when his children could go out. Not exactly the role he was used to.

"He's not going out with you." The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets, as though that was an ending to it.

"I think you'll find I am." Jon entered the room, holding up two shirts. "Which one do you think?" He gestured between the plain white one and one with a light blue pinstripe.

"That one." The Doctor pointed without thinking to the second one. They both looked at him, Abby with raised eyebrows.

"Seriously, what is it with you and pinstripes?" she asked. "The white one," she added to Jon. "That is, if _daddy_ will let you out." She gave the Doctor a challenging look. He really didn't like this side of Abby; until now, he'd forgotten quite why she'd left, but over the last few days, her old ways had come back to her. She'd been grumpy and her tongue was like a knife. He was almost certain she'd be drinking on this particular occasion too; her hazel eyes were shinier than usual, and even for her, the insults and bitchiness were at an unusual high.

Jon rolled his eyes. "I'm going out," he informed the Doctor coolly. "You can't stop me."

The Doctor sighed. "I just think it might be better if you didn't."

"Why? What's going to happen?" Jon was being fairly reasonable about it all. And on any other day, the Doctor was sure he'd agree with his son, but not today. Not with everything that had happened lately. "What could possibly go wrong on a night out in Cardiff?"

Abby spluttered with laughter again. "You've clearly never been out in Cardiff!" She giggled, and the Doctor became sure that that glass of water by her bedside table wasn't water. She turned her attention back onto the Doctor. "So, there's no real reason for you not letting Jon out, is there?" Her question was loaded. She'd always seen straight through him, known when he was lying. It was unnerving. She was even better at it than Rose was; Abby told so many lies herself, that she could see them a mile off. He knew she hadn't believed him last night when he told her it was over. But how could he admit that in front of Jon? He wasn't even sure himself, it was just a feeling he had. He couldn't go worrying Jon over what could be nothing. Abby had played her trump card. And she'd won.

"No. No, there isn't." The Doctor nodded briefly. "Enjoy yourselves." He left the room, tensing his hands up to try and prevent him screaming. Why had he ever let Abby back onto the TARDIS? Why had he ever thought she could be of any help? Ever since they'd found Janie, she'd been the most difficult person he'd ever traveled with. And now she was drinking. She was rapidly getting out of control, and the Doctor didn't know what to do with her.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, a place he'd been so many times before that he really should have known his way by now, that he collided with Janie.

"Ow!" She glared at him, her dark eyebrows knitting together as she rubbed her shoulder. "Am I invisible or something?"

"Sorry, Janie." The Doctor caught her shoulders and held her upright. "I wasn't paying attention, I was-"

"Miles away," Janie finished the sentence for him. "Mum looks like that sometimes." Like she knew she'd said too much, she pursed her lips together.

"So… I suppose you're off out with everyone then?" The Doctor tried not to let his voice shake as he spoke. Being so close to his daughter again made him ridiculously anxious. Every time he saw her, he felt that same stab of responsibility and a protective urge. Something wasn't right, and it was driving him insane.

Janie smiled, a small smile, and shook her head. "Nah. Not tonight."

He couldn't deny he was relieved. As long as he kept her within sight, within the four safe strong walls of the TARDIS, Janie would be okay. If he could just wrap her up in cotton wool and hide her away for, oooo, a few millennia, it would all be fine. He knew that was an impossibility though.

"I'm still pretty tired," Janie continued explaining. "And I don't really have anything to wear for a night out." She smiled again. "I'll stay in." Hesitantly she added, "We could do something if you liked. Watch a film or… something." She looked up at him, and he could see the desire in her eyes. She wanted some father-daughter bonding, some time to get to know each other. Something to replace all the years he hadn't been there. He was a Time Lord; filling in lost years should have been easy. But he couldn't do what she wanted.

"Tonight? I'm actually quite busy tonight, stuff to do." He scratched his ear awkwardly.

"Oh. Right." Janie nodded hurriedly. "Course. Well, never mind." She headed down the corridor again, still wearing those stupid boots. And his hearts ached for her. She just wanted him to be her daddy, take her for shopping trips and lunches and give her her first driving lessons. Check her boyfriends out for her. Always be on her side. More than anything though, he suddenly felt a wave of grief steal over him, out of nowhere it seemed. It was ridiculous. It had been so long and yet here he was, still in mourning for what he and Rose could have had. The way Janie had looked up at him, her brown eyes huge in her face and unspoken words lingering on her lips… even with the brown hair, she was the spitting image of Rose, all those times he'd shut her out. God, how he wished she was here, so she could hold his hand and tell him what to do.

But he didn't have time for that. He straightened his shoulders and headed towards the console room again. There were too many people relying on him; he had to get started.

* * *

"Rhys, I'm home!" Gwen swung the flat door open, her keys jingling in the lock, and looked around. "Rhys?" 

He came out of the small kitchen just off the living room, holding a mug of tea. He looked a bit stunned to see her there, and Gwen supposed she should have called ahead. But still, it was her flat.

"Well? You look like you've seen a ghost." She laughed more lightly than she felt. There was something not right about the flat. Something very not right. She looked around, suddenly putting on her police officer's eyes and trying to figure out what it was. Then she realized. "You've tided up."

"What? Oh, yeah." Rhys nodded, and then swallowed a large guilty lump in his throat. Gwen's eyes flickered over to him, scrutinizing his face. He shifted uneasily under her stare and swallowed again. "Everything all right in London? You didn't call."

"I was busy." Gwen narrowed her eyes. "Rhys, what's wrong?"

"Nothing love!" He smiled and offered the mug of tea out to her. "Here, you have this, I'll make another brew." He headed towards the kitchen again.

"Rhys." He stopped dead as she spoke, and his body visibly tensed. Gwen had seen guilty too often. "Rhys, what's happened?"

He turned slowly to face her, and before he even spoke Gwen somehow knew. She didn't know how. Maybe it was the look in his eyes, big and sad like a puppy's that told her. She knew that look. It had faced her every morning in the mirror since she'd joined Torchwood.

"I didn't mean it to happen, Gwen, it was a mistake."

Gwen closed her eyes slowly and breathed out. Then she opened them again. "Do I know her?"

"It was Dawn."

She frowned. "Dawn?"

"Jimbo's sister." Rhys looked awful. "I'm sorry."

Dawn was a stupid little girl, all shiny caramel hair and beaming white grin. She had been flirting with Rhys for months, though Gwen had never figured out why. Dawn was popular with everybody, she could have had any guy she wanted. Only it seemed the guy she wanted was out of bounds. That was typically Dawn.

Gwen nodded slowly. "Right."

"I really am sorry, Gwen, I didn't think, it just sort of happened, and the next thing I knew it was morning and…" He trailed off.

Gwen took a few more deep breaths. She wondered how she should react. Any normal woman would have thrown something at him by now and yelled abuse at him. She should be demanding details and threatening him. She'd seen Eastenders. But all she could feel was a deep grinding pain in her stomach. This wasn't Rhys's fault. Well, obviously she wasn't that pleased that he'd slept with Dawn, and in a sense, that was his fault. But overall… it was bound to happen sooner or later. It wasn't Rhys who had wandered off first.

"You haven't been here, Gwen." His voice was full of pain, and Gwen knew it was true. Ever since Torchwood, she hadn't been there for him. She'd screwed him over, abandoned him. She'd killed this relationship, not him.

"I've slept with someone too."

His eyes widened. "Who?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It matters to _me_! Who is he?"

Gwen supposed it was only fair. "A guy from work. You don't know him." She bit her lip, on the verge of adding, _actually, two guys from work_, when she decided against it. There was no need to mention Jack, that had been something else altogether. She would never lump that one night with him in with all those times with Owen.

She looked at her boyfriend now, gauging his reaction. He looked amazed and shocked and disappointed and upset and all sorts of other emotions. How had it come to this? How had they destroyed what they had? No, not they, she corrected herself. How had _she_ made this all happen? Their lovely life, their lovely flat, their friends, their future. All just decimated because of that one evening standing above the Torchwood team, not looking away when she should have done. It wasn't Owen or Jack who had caused this to happen. It was Torchwood.

She cleared her throat. "I came back to get changed." She gestured at the suitcase by her feet. "Do some washing. You know."

Rhys nodded. "Here, let me put your stuff in the washing machine."

Gwen's heart broke for him. She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'll just…" She needed to get out of the flat, now. "Actually, it's fine. I can manage with what I've got." She picked the suitcase up again and turned for the door.

"Gwen? Where are you going?" Rhys moved across the room towards her.

"I think we need some time apart."

"We've had time apart!" Rhys exclaimed, and to Gwen's horror she saw he was crying. Her Rhys, the man she'd loved for so so long. "Gwen, we need to talk."

"Not now!" Gwen snapped unintentionally. She tried to regain her composure. "I need some time, Rhys, we both do."

"But where are you going to go?"

"I'll find somewhere, I'll stay with a friend." Gwen backed towards the door. "Goodbye Rhys."

* * *

Owen knew, even as he stalked out of the club, alcohol pulsing round his body from the last shot he'd hastily knocked back, that what he was doing was a very bad idea. There were a number of reasons why, most of which were very good, but at just gone midnight, his brain wasn't really accepting them. Yes, he should probably be in the club keeping an eye on Abby and Jon. Abby was a mess, the last time he'd seen her, she was dancing with her eyes closed in the middle of the dancefloor. Hell, he should probably be keeping an eye on Ianto and Toshiko; those two were acting like they hadn't been out in years. Probably hadn't, Owen thought with a wry grin. 

Another reason why this really wasn't a good idea was that, even for him, he'd drunk a little too much tonight, mostly without even thinking. Not as much as Abby, that was for certain, but enough to make him think that this was actually, if not a _good_ idea, then at least a reasonable and acceptable one. Which if he was sober… actually, who was he kidding? Even if he was sober, he'd probably think this was an okay idea.

He stopped at a twenty-four-seven supermarket on the way. He knew he looked a bit rough; the look on the shopkeeper's face said it all, and he had to admit that when he asked for the twelve-pack of cigarettes, his words were a bit slurred. Still, he got them and sauntered on down to where the TARDIS was located.

It was only when he reached the door, that he remembered something. He was locked out. Only Jon had a key and he was still in that club. That was the first glitch in the plan. He sobered up a little. The idea had been to get in without the Doctor noticing. He really didn't want to explain this to him. Maybe he should just turn round and head on back to his own flat, where he could spend a glorious night in his own bed and nurse the thudding hangover he knew he'd have in the morning. Then his fingers closed round the cigarettes in his pocket and he blocked out the sober part and knocked on the door.

"What the…?" The Doctor swung the door open, a look of confusion on his face. His hair was messy, but that was nothing unusual, though Owen had to admit he looked slightly more stressed than usual. "Owen, what are you doing here? I thought you'd gone out with the others…" His eyes widened. "Has something happened?"

"No, I forgot my house keys." Owen pushed past him. He frowned. "Making a bit of a noise, isn't it?" He gestured towards the time vortex, even though he wasn't entirely sure if it really was that making the noise. It seemed to come from all around him.

"Just some routine stuff." The Doctor scratched his ear. "Going to get your keys then?"

"What?" Owen momentarily lost sight of his great plan. "Oh, right, yeah." He nodded. "Definitely."

He strode down the corridor, counting doors extra carefully; could never be too careful. Finally he reached the one he wanted and knocked on it gingerly.

"Come in." The reply sounded hopeful, excited even.

Owen pushed the door open.

The disappointment on Janie's face couldn't be missed. Her smile fell and her dark eyes became dull and one-dimensional again. "Oh. Hi Owen." Her voice too dropped in tone.

"Don't look so disappointed," he joked, though he had to admit he was hurt. He didn't know why.

"Sorry." Janie managed to pick up the corners of her mouth again. "I just thought…" She broke off. "I thought you guys were going out tonight?"

"I gave up." Owen shrugged. "Wasn't in the mood." Janie nodded wordlessly and switched her attention back to picking her nails. Owen didn't like the awkward silence, and like he'd only just remembered, he said, "Oh, I got these for you." He pulled the packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and through them across the room to her.

Janie pounced on them, catching them messily but catching them nonetheless. "How did you know?" she asked, her dark eyes widening. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of not shaking with the desire for just one more puff. It had been over twenty-four hours since her last, companionable cigarette in Maggie's house.

Owen shrugged. "Lucky guess. You were smoking the night I met you."

"Oh." Janie nodded. "Right." She played with the packet in her hands, turning it over and over. At length she said, "Owen, that's what I don't get."

"What's that?" Owen raised his eyebrows.

"You." Janie pulled a face. "Until yesterday, I didn't remember anything, it was like you didn't even _exist_ until yesterday. But now… I can remember that evening like it was yesterday." She turned her eyes on him, and Owen thought about leaving the room and not explaining things. In all fairness, what he'd done to her was probably the least strange thing to have happened to her lately; being kidnapped by aliens and finding your alien father was probably always going to rate higher on the 'my life is weird' scale than some guy slipping a memory loss pill into your drink. Really getting into his stride, he even managed to formulate a semi-coherent argument about having your drink spiked and how it happened to dozens of girls every weekend all over the country. But maybe that was the point. What he'd done to Janie, ripping her memories away like that… he knew it was a long-shot but he couldn't help feeling that this whole mess was his fault. If she'd remembered all of that, woken up the next morning and thought about what he'd said, then maybe… maybe this eighteen-year-old girl wouldn't have gone through what she had.

"Owen, please." Her voice was small and there was a catch in it. "So much shit's happened lately… tell me what happened that night."

Owen was rubbish at explanations, that was Gwen's or even Jack's job usually. He wasn't a talker, he was a doer, he was a fighter. This kind of stuff didn't come naturally to him.

"I drugged you." It came out all wrong and he saw her recoil away ever so slightly from him, even though he was still right the way across the room. He noticed her hand twitch too, and she lowered her eyes to glance at the cigarettes. He supposed he couldn't blame her; being kidnapped would tend to make a person jumpy.

"Not in a sick way!" he added quickly, and Janie's eyebrows twisted upwards. Teenager talk for 'what are you talking about?' He tried to find his thoughts. "I mean, I wasn't going to… you know… Not that sort of drug, it was…" He grit his teeth. "Look, we've got this drug and it makes you lose your memory. I told you stuff I shouldn't have told anyone and I slipped it into your drink. Usually that's it, the person who takes it forgets whatever happened and the world goes along nicely. But you…" He shook his head. "Maybe you didn't have enough or something."

Janie looked him up and down. "Some doctor you are, getting the dosage wrong."

Owen bit his lip, trying to stop it creasing into a smile. He wasn't sure he was out of the woods yet.

"What about Jon? Why doesn't he remember you?"

"Did he have any of your drink?"

Janie thought back. The memory was barely that at all, it was like it had happened only hours ago, fresh in her mind in a way that things that really had only happened hours ago had faded. "He tried it, to see if it was spiked." She shrugged. "But I don't know, why would it work more on him than me? He can't remember it even now."

Owen was lost on that point too. He knew Retcon wasn't an ordinary drug, but it still followed the basic rules. Which tended to be that the bigger someone was physically, the more of a drug was needed to affect them. It didn't take a genius, or even a doctor, to figure out that Jon should be the one he was having this conversation with. It didn't make sense.

"I don't know the answer to that one."

"Maybe…" Janie spoke again. She smiled slowly. "Maybe it was because I wanted to remember."

Their eyes met and words sprang up on Owen's lips, only to vanish as they heard a loud shout from the Doctor.

"What is this, Torchwood reunion night?"

They exchanged glances and then headed down the corridor. They met Gwen as she swept past, still clutching the suitcase she'd taken with her earlier, and wearing the same clothes. The bottoms of her jeans were soaked through, and her hair was all over the place. The thing most noticeable about her though was her trembling lip, and the way her chest was shuddering like she was struggling not to cry.

"I thought you were going back to your flat." Owen knew as soon as the words left his lips that he'd made a stupid mistake in saying anything. All that time he'd spent with Gwen and he was still useless at talking to her properly.

"Change of plan." Gwen faked a smile. "I… I…" Her eyes darted between them both, desperate for some help with her explanation. She'd walked the whole way here, through the sudden downpour that hadn't been forecast. All she wanted was to dive into her bed and cry into her pillow. Though who or what she was crying for she didn't know.

The suitcase was lifted from her hand and she started to find Janie smiling at her.

"I'll put this lot through the washing machine," she said softly. "Why don't you take a shower?"

Gwen felt tears spring into her eyes, blurring her vision, so that she stumbled when she began moving down the corridor at high speed towards the nearest bathroom. She managed to stutter, "Thank you," before locking the door and losing herself in a world where she didn't know what the water droplets coursing down her cheeks were.

* * *

She was dead. No other explanation for it. This was what being dead was like. Totally disconnected, unaware where everything else was. Abby wondered how she'd died; she didn't remember being hit by a car or anybody producing a broken bottle (though in the last club she could remember being in, that was a distinct possibility). Maybe this was what it was like afterwards. Maybe no one remembered how they'd died, and she supposed that was a blessing for some. Nobody wanted their last memory of their life to be staring up at a masked man forcing a shotgun under their chin. It made sense for the moment of death to be obliterated from her memory. The only problem with this whole situation, was that Abby had always maintained a strong and healthy anti-religious stand on life after death. Nothing and no one had ever been able to erode that belief. 

The other complication was that voice nearby, so familiar, and yet utterly strange if she was truly dead. Because he, as far as she knew, wasn't, and anyway, he seemed to be yelling at her, which she hoped wouldn't happen if they were both dead together.

"Abby!" He shook her and Abby felt her whole body suddenly reconnect itself and pulse together in one firm direction. Pain shot through her legs and arms and head and stomach, and right into her fingers and toes, and she swore even her nose was mildly twingeing. Regretting every slightly movement, she struggled to open one eye.

She was alive.

The Doctor took the one hazel eye opening blearily as a sign that she was fully awake and functioning. "What the hell did you do last night? What's happened to Jon?"

Abby closed her eye again, the bright white light pulsating against her retinas painfully and causing her stomach to move in completely unnatural ways. She tried to speak, but her mouth felt like someone had attempted to rediscover penicillin and was using it as the test site. She grimaced and flung a heavy arm over her eyes, before managing to croak out, in a voice distinctly un-sexily husky, "Can you at least turn the lights down?"

Like the TARDIS was, for once, on her side, the lights dimmed ever so slightly, and Abby experienced a brief moment of relief, before the Doctor launched in again.

"Abby! What's wrong with Jon?"

Abby reopened her eyes and gazed at him as disdainfully as she could manage before burying her face in her pillow. "I'm fine, by the way," she mumbled into it.

"I can't wake him up!" The Doctor was nearly hysterical, which Abby would have found hilarious if she hadn't wanted to hit him so much. "Abby? What did you do last night?"

"Just the usual." Abby tried to sort through her scattered memories, which mostly involved her standing at the bar. From the raw sting in her feet she assumed she'd danced quite a bit as well, and then there was the taste of beer in her mouth which suggested… Her stomach sank even lower as she realized she hadn't touched any beer last night, deciding that wine and spirits were the way to go.

"Well whatever you did, I can't wake Jon up!"

"So you came to try me instead?" Abby was still drunk enough to find some spirit inside that would let loose her hurt and anger on the Doctor, even if only ever so slightly. "Thanks! I'll repay you the favour some day!" She lifted her head up from underneath the pillow. "He's probably got a hangover! Leave us both alone and find something else to obsess about!"

"He's my son! I'm worried!"

"You managed eighteen years!" Abby spat.

The Doctor regarded her, and Abby could see a look she recognized on his face. Disgust. It looked different played out against his lean dark features rather than on her father's weather-beaten face. Different, but not unrecognizable, in the same way as seeing a photo of your parents on their wedding day and comparing it to their faces now; the hair was greyer, the faces had more lines, but you could tell they were the same people, deep down. When you've seen something so often throughout your life, you'd recognize it anywhere.

"When you finally get up," he said, his voice cold and hard, "You can pack your bags. I'm taking you home, today." He left the room, and as though he'd instructed it as a punishment to her, the TARDIS brought the lights on even brighter than before. Abby disappeared back under the covers, wishing her first response on waking up had come true.

* * *

Rose wished she'd listened to Jack as her mum shouted at her down the phone, whilst Rose tried to shove clothes for herself and the kids into the one small holdall she had. 

"Rose, you heard what the Doctor said, it's not safe!" Jackie was nearly in tears, and Rose felt awful for putting her mum through all this again. At least when they'd been trapped on this side of the void, it had brought Jackie some comfort; she'd thought she'd never have to wave goodbye to her daughter again. "He's found Janie now, they'll be coming home soon! Please, sweetheart, just hold on a bit longer!"

"Mum, I can't." Rose bit her lip deliberately. She didn't want to worry Jackie, but she had to admit that the way it sounded, she was making a fuss over nothing. If Janie was safe, they'd be here soon and she wouldn't have to go at all. How could she explain this feeling that something was very wrong? Even if she could, how could she convince Jackie that it was vital Rose was there?

"Of course you can!"

"No, Mum, I can't." Rose measured her voice out. "I have to go, I just… I have to." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Mum. I love you. Bye." She hung up and then turned the phone off, not wanting to have to field a similar call only seconds later.

Jack poked his head round the doorframe. "I did tell you not to."

"I had to. It's alright for you, you don't have parents."

"I did have once. And I wouldn't have told them what I was doing."

Rose nodded. "Yeah, well, you'd think differently if you had kids." She forced the zip closed. "Done." She handed the bag over to Jack who pulled a supposedly comical face and mimicked being weighed down by it. "Oh shut up!" Rose slapped him on the arm. "You're getting out of shape Harkness."

"Hey!" Jack whimpered, before breaking out in his flashing smile. "Come on, we need to get going. It'll take us a few hours to get down to Cardiff."

"Remind me why we're going to Wales again, when there's a rift right on our doorstep?" Rose reminded him. She couldn't help thinking it made a lot more sense to make the short journey to Kensington Gardens rather than the three hours plus trip to South Wales.

"I think we might raise a few eyebrows by bursting through Kensington Gardens in a Ford Focus."

"Oh yeah." Rose nodded. "Right. Okay then." She gazed around her room and felt a stabbing pain in her side. She couldn't help thinking this might be the last time she saw this place, and she couldn't figure out why. The Doctor had said it would all be fine, they'd be back here before she knew it. She'd spent eighteen years in this house, longing to get away and feeling she was missing out on life; now she was living the dream again, she wanted to curl up under the bedclothes. She was getting old.

"You'll be back again," Jack said softly, as though he could read her mind.

Rose smiled at him. "I know. Come on."

They headed outside. Rose unlocked her car and was about to open the boot so Jack could throw their bags inside, when a screech of brakes made her turn and see Mickey parking his van badly across her drive. He left the engine running and launched himself out of the vehicle.

"Mum called you, didn't she?" Rose demanded. That was all it took for the blood to begin pumping through her system like the old days, taking her back to the Rose Tyler of old. How dare her mum do that to her, send Mickey as though she needed taking care of.

"Don't go, Rose." Mickey looked between the two of them. "Don't be stupid!"

"I'm not being stupid!" Rose snapped. "I'm going to find my kids, there's nothing stupid about that! Move your van!"

"No!"

"Move it!"

"Rose, I'm not going to let you do this!"

Rose caught Jack's eye, and as one they advanced towards the van.

"What are you doing?" Mickey's brow furrowed and then he realized as Jack swung himself into the driver's seat and Rose clambered in after him. "No! You can't take my van!"

"Here." Rose threw her car keys to him out of the window. "I'm sorry, Mickey. But I've got to go."

Jack revved the engine and pulled away sharply, cutting up a hatchback amidst a cacophony of hooting and screeches of tyres. Rose sat back in her seat and watched her best friend in the wing mirror, as he stood and gazed after them.


	50. Chapter 49

**I've finally regained my muse from somewhere. Fab.**

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* * *

**There was nowhere else she could go. She had no other choice. 

Gwen had stayed in bed as long as she could after waking up at just gone four in the morning. She'd only drifted off to sleep, her face sticky and hot with tears, at around two-thirty, and she felt physically sick as she realized she wasn't getting back to sleep. Her entire body ached, and her throat felt dry and sore from the choking sobs that had engulfed her again as soon as Janie had left the room and Gwen had sat down heavily on the bed. Her eyes were sore from where she'd rubbed them, and there was a pounding ache behind them too.

Lying in bed didn't make her feel any less wretched and disgusting. She felt hot and restless and yet so tired all she wanted to do was curl back round the duvet and sleep for a hundred years, like some fairytale princess who hadn't just lost her Prince Charming. She'd never even thought of Rhys like that before.

After forty-five minutes, she gave up trying to settle herself back down into sleep. Misery was seeping through her veins and making it impossible for her to clear her mind and doze off again. She might as well get up and do something. Getting out of bed, she noticed the pile of clothing by the doorway. She frowned. It was some, not all, but some, of the stuff she'd intended to wash. Janie must have put it all through the wash last night and dried it too. She picked up the jeans which were stiff and creased; she hadn't ironed them, but that was probably expecting a bit too much of a virtual stranger. Gwen pulled the jeans and a crumpled t shirt on, pulling her slightly greasy treacle coloured hair back off her face where it had stuck in clumps.

She was surprised to find the Doctor up, sitting in the control room, his feet resting on the control panel as he lounged in the seat. He had his glasses on, but he wasn't reading anything, just sitting back, his hands in his pockets, staring at the time vortex, his eyes blank and glazing over. He didn't even notice she'd come into the room until she moved directly into his eyesight.

He jerked himself out of his reverie. "Gwen! You're up and about late."

"Or early," Gwen replied. "So are you."

"Well, you know." The Doctor shrugged. "I stayed up until they got in, and then I didn't really fancy sleep."

Thinking back, Gwen couldn't remember seeing the Doctor sleep at all since they'd started this whole mad journey. She'd seen moments of weariness obviously, they all had. Moments when it seemed like everything was getting the better of him. But then he'd bounced back, and she'd started to wonder if he even needed sleep. Maybe that was a Time Lord thing, not needing sleep. Looking at him now, she doubted it. He looked more tired than she'd ever seen anybody look in her life, his usually rich brown eyes dull and looking more like muddy puddles, and his skin looking even paler than usual. There was something else about him that unsettled her too, and she couldn't quite place her finger on it. Just something.

Gwen realized it was probably time she said something more. "I was just… going out for a bit." She had no idea where. It was barely even beginning to get light at five in the morning in September, and even if it was, she was certain that clouds would already have rolled in. But she couldn't hang around here any longer.

"Right." The Doctor nodded, and turned his attention back to the time vortex. "Oh, Gwen," he added suddenly as she turned to go. "Sorry about last night."

"That's alright." Gwen ventured a wobbly smile, before leaving the TARDIS.

That was how she'd ended up down in the Hub at five in the morning, walking round the quiet Torchwood base, and not minding the silence at all. She'd walked from workstation to workstation, her fingers lingering on dozens of pieces of paper that they'd all put aside when the Doctor showed and up and enlisted them on this trip. Though enlisted was probably the wrong word; Jack had more or less insisted on their involvement. As Gwen remembered it, the Doctor had been less enthusiastic over taking them all with him. But Jack had charmed his way around him, like he always did, and that had been that.

Gwen eventually, inevitably, found her way into Jack's office. She didn't know why. There was nothing there that was part of him, nothing that would bring her any closer to working out who Jack Harkness was. She should really just walk out of here and go and find Rhys and make it all alright again. It hadn't been that long ago since she'd come within inches of losing him forever, and she thought she'd never get over it. Now she was willing to throw it all away over… what? A man in another universe who just didn't see her.

But she didn't leave the office. She sat down in his chair, and made believe she could smell him in the cracked leather. She flicked through the papers scattered loosely on his desk and managed to convince herself that he was standing over her shoulder, talking her through all the bizarre names and events written in front of her. Once or twice she could have sworn she caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye, and she turned her head to look. Only of course it was just her imagination. She was losing her mind.

Lost in her thoughts, she was jolted back into reality when the telephone rang. She was shocked to discover it was seven in the morning, and she scrabbled for the phone awkwardly.

"Jack?"

Gwen was taken aback at the sharp voice on the other end and didn't answer for a second.

"Jack, are you there?"

Gwen finally found her voice. "Sorry, Jack's not here."

"Oh." The voice changed its tone, and became guarded and suspicious "Oh. Any idea when he'll be back?"

Gwen knew this edginess. "It's alright. It _is_ Torchwood. What's the problem?"

The man on the other end proceeded to fill her in on the details. Gwen listened attentively and took a few notes on the pad by the phone. It was strange; she'd never noticed that before. Jack had never struck her as a notepad by the phone kind of guy. She could even see the indentations on the page from where he'd pressed to hard on the previous leaf. It didn't seem too hard an investigation, probably nothing, but better to be safe than sorry. It would at least take her mind away from her own problems for a while.

* * *

"The country? Again?" Owen pulled a face as Gwen relayed the information she'd been given. "What is it with the country?" 

Gwen shrugged. "It's not like I fancy it much either. Not after last time." She didn't even dare let her thoughts stray back to what had happened the last time. "But we've been told to go." Part of her was glad someone was giving them directions like this. She needed someone to take charge for a while and direct her somewhere.

Owen nodded slowly. "Okay. Well, I'll go and start loading up the SUV then. Any idea at all what we need?"

Gwen shook her head. "No. They just said there was something strange going on in the village. People going missing and things."

"What's going on?" Jon wandered into the control room.

"Feeling better?" The Doctor raised his eyebrows from where he was still seated at the control panel. Gwen wondered if he'd moved all morning.

Jon blushed, feeling a bit guilty about the state he'd managed to work the Doctor up into this morning. "Yeah, a bit." He'd finally woken up through a haze of alcohol-saturated brain cells in time to hear the Doctor let out a miserable groan as he gave up hope of ever waking his son up. Jon had to smile though as he remembered his desperate words.

"Jon, please! You have to wake up! I can't tell your mum you've perished after a particularly heavy night out. Or your gran. Oh Christ, how am I going to tell Jackie that?"

Jon had dragged his eyes open and that and put his father out of his misery. It had all been a bit embarrassing really; it was the first proper hangover he'd ever had.

"What were you saying about people going missing?" Jon looked between Gwen and Owen. "Are you going to investigate something?"

All three of the others in the room were instantly on alert, though none could say why exactly. There was something in Jon's eyes suddenly that they all recognized. Interest and passion and a spirit of adventure. The Doctor looked away first, realizing where he knew that look from. It was the way Rose had looked as she'd run towards the TARDIS for the first time all those years ago.

"Just something they want checking out." Owen shrugged. "Out in the country. Probably nothing."

"Can I come?"

All eyes flew to look at the Doctor, who looked back with a blank stare for a moment before standing up. He fiddled with a few buttons on the TARDIS. "No," he said eventually, calmly and coolly.

Jon frowned. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean no." The Doctor lifted his head to look at his son. "You can't go with them."

"Why not?"

The Doctor didn't know what to say. How could he possibly begin to explain why he couldn't let his son go with them into who knew what? He wanted to say so much, to tell Jon that he'd been alone so many years, with nobody to care, no family, nothing. Then he'd found Rose, and he'd found a base again, something and someone to call his own. Then she'd gone, and he'd been scrabbling around again. Now he had the twins, his children… But looking at Jon again, he knew, just like he'd always known with Rose, he couldn't lay that huge burden on his shoulders. Being someone's son was had enough, trying to live up to even normal aspirations. Trying to become the family they'd lost was impossible.

So he fell back on the old parental excuse.

"Because I said so."

Jon's eyes blazed, and the Doctor saw his hands curl up into fists. Owen readied himself to leap to the Doctor's defence if Jon tried to lay him out again. Then the boy stretched his fingers out, and threw his shoulders back.

"Yeah, well, you can't stop me."

The Doctor saw a resolve in Jon's face now, a slight setting of his mouth. A stubbornness. It was pure Rose. It reminded him of when they'd first visited the other world; the second she'd laid eyes on that moving advert, with Pete's grinning face on it, he'd seen everything play out in his head. Well, not everything, he obviously hadn't seen the Cybermen coming or anything. But he'd known instinctively that she wanted to see her father, was going to see him, no matter how many times he or anyone else tried to tell her that this Pete Tyler was not her daddy. He'd known she'd refuse to listen to reason and would obstinately cling on to the thought that if she could just _see_ him, then somehow, everything would be alright.

_"I've got to see him." Rose stated the words like they were some kind of universal rule, no room for error._

_"You can't." The Doctor answered almost on autopilot._

_"I just wanna see him!"_

_"I can't let you!" All the time she'd spent with him, and she was still arguing over things like this. He sometimes wondered if she listened to anything, if she remembered anything at all. _Remember last time, Rose, _he wanted to say suddenly, as the tiny vindictive part in him reared its ugly head. That part hadn't even existed in this regeneration as far as he knew until that walking trampoline Cassandra had jumped inside his head_. Remember the last time you saw your dad? Remember what nearly happened? Remember what did happen?_ She'd been silent for a few days afterwards, not wanting to go home for fear of letting slip to Jackie what had happened, but unable to connect with him_.

_"You just said twenty-four hours!" Like that was a golden ticket to allow her to meet up with the father that shouldn't even exist. Typical Rose logic._

_"You can't _become_ their daughter! That's not the way it works!" If he knew anything, he knew how human emotions worked. Moreover, if he knew any_one_, he knew Rose Tyler, and he knew that no matter how much she claimed she just wanted to see Pete, observe him from a distance and make sure of his existence, once she clapped eyes on him, it just wouldn't be enough anymore. She'd have to talk to him and laugh with him and try and get familiar. She'd try and be his little girl. And he'd disappoint her because he wasn't her daddy. "Mickey, tell her." Maybe her naturally more cautious boyfriend would talk some sense into her._

_"Twenty-four hours, yeah?" Mickey got up off of the bench._

_"Where're _you_ going?" He'd picked a fine time to find that backbone he'd been hiding so long. Part of the Doctor wanted to congratulate Mickey on finally not hanging round Rose's ankles, but that was buried away at the moment under the sheer indignation that had risen from not one but both his traveling companions suddenly staging a revolt._

_"Well I can do what I want!"_

_"I've got the address and everything." Rose began backing away._

_"Stay where you are, both of you!" The Doctor looked between the two of them frantically, unsure when exactly he'd lost the knack to keep control of these humans. Well, not that Rose had ever been particularly receptive to his orders. Not that any of them ever were actually… she'd broken rule number one more times than he could mention. Still, this was serious. "Rose, come back here! Mickey, come back here right now!"_

_"I just wanna _see_ him!" Maybe she thought if she repeated it enough times, he'd understand her or at least be deceived into letting her go with his blessing. _

And he supposed he had. It had, after all, been him who produced the psychic paper and got them into the Tylers' house. And it hadn't turned out too badly. He'd forgiven Rose's folly for demanding to see her dad. In fact, he'd more than forgiven her. It had only made him love her more.

Now their son was showing the same obstinate face that he knew and loved so well. He could already feel himself giving in to it. Jon apparently didn't seem to think he needed his permission, but Owen and Gwen were still standing by, waiting for the nod from him.

"Don't wander off." He directed a finger at his son. "Listen to what they tell you."

"Of course." Jon nodded eagerly, and a grin lit up his features. Even though it was the grin of a boy who had got his own way, the Doctor couldn't help smiling back.

"What's going on?" They all turned to see Janie, her dark hair still tangled from sleep and making a strange sight in the vest and shorts she slept in, along with the Ugg boots that had barely been off her feet since she'd dragged them out the travel bag yesterday. The contrast between the chunky boots and her slim legs made her look gangly and fawn-like; her big dark eyes only contributed even more to the Bambi effect.

"We're going along with Gwen and Owen to help out." The Doctor felt his hearts sink as Jon brought his sister up to speed.

"We're what?" Janie frowned, blinking her big brown eyes in confusion. "When was this decided?"

"_Jon's_ coming," Owen corrected him. "It's just a routine thing, checking out what's going on." He was sounding overly nonchalant even to himself, and Gwen couldn't help raising her eyebrows at him. She could see right through the Mr. Big Guy act; he was trying to impress Janie. She wasn't even sure he was aware he was doing it.

"You don't have to come," Gwen added kindly. Jon seemed so overjoyed at having his sister back that he wanted to do everything with her. She wouldn't blame the girl if she was to run back down the corridor screaming at the mere thought of getting involved with any more alienesque things.

Janie didn't look or feel overly relieved at that thought. Her eyes flicked over to Owen and wondered what he thought she should do. Last night, she couldn't help thinking he was going to say something before Gwen interrupted them, and now she was dying to get him alone again. She didn't know why. She only knew that he made her feel safe in a way that no one else she'd met recently did, let alone her father. Every time she looked at the Doctor she felt such a tangled mess of emotions that even starting to categorise them gave her a thudding headache. After identifying delight and adoration and love and fear and sadness and confusion, she'd given up. His eyes always seemed to land on her with such a strange look that she didn't know where to put herself. He was holding out on her and she didn't know why. At least Owen was being straight with her.

She nodded firmly. "No, it's fine. I want to come." She noticed the Doctor straighten his back awkwardly as she spoke. Out of some deep built instinct, she quickly turned to him. "If that's alright, Dad?"

Funny how one word can change history. If she hadn't added that tiny string of three letters onto the end of her sentence, he'd have refused her permission. He'd have kept her safe. But she'd played him just right. He couldn't refuse her anything. Even if he could, he couldn't explain why.

"Yeah, of course it is." He nodded, hating himself for not having the guts to stand up against her. "Just don't wander off."

* * *

Jon caught up with his sister as she headed back down to her room to get dressed ready for their trip. 

"How can you do that?" he asked in a low voice as he drew alongside her.

"Do what?" Janie looked up at him, frowning.

"Call him that."

"Who what?" He was momentarily annoyed as he thought she was being deliberately dense, as Janie was sometimes known to be. He managed to avoid snapping at her as he saw the penny drop. "Oh. Dad."

"Yeah. Him."

They walked into her room and Janie began searching through the few clothes she had with her, pulling out a pair of black jeans and screwing her nose up.

"I haven't worn these for ages, why did you bring these?" She launched them across the room.

Jon dodged the flying clothes and steered the conversation back to the original point. "How can you just call him that so easily?"

"Because he _is_ our dad?" Janie looked at him with a 'duh' expression on her face, before sending a t-shirt sailing over her shoulder. "And that top is minging."

"He's our father. It doesn't make him our dad."

Janie rolled her eyes. "Do you always have to be so pedantic?" she asked. "Father, Dad, what's the difference?"

"He's not our dad! He wasn't there for eighteen years!"

"Which was hardly his fault," Janie pointed out. "He would have been if he could."

"How do you know?"

"He told me."

"And you believed him?" Jon looked at his sister incredulously.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because…" Jon struggled to find the right words. He couldn't understand how his sister had glided so easily into being this man's daughter. He'd been trying for ages, trying to feel like that about the Doctor, but all he could keep thinking was that he'd hurt Rose, and he couldn't forgive that.

"He was there when it mattered," Janie said slowly and quietly. "Which is more than Mum was."

"That's unfair!"

"How? She walked away from our own birthday party! If she'd stayed…" Janie tailed off.

"What?"

"Just… maybe none of this would have happened." Janie bit her lip, before shaking her hair back off of her face. "Now, just go, Jon! Let me get changed!"

* * *

It had been a long drive. Rose had dozed off within minutes of leaving her house, as though she'd resigned herself to the fact she couldn't do anything while cooped up in the van. Now, as they pulled up in Cardiff, Jack switched the engine off and looked across at her, a smile spreading across his face. She looked so peaceful, her head resting against the window, utterly dead to the world. He'd noticed in the weeks before the phone call that she hadn't been sleeping well; he'd had trouble too and had heard her pacing round her room in the night time, her feet almost feather-light on the carpet but enough to rouse his attention. More than once he'd considered going in to her and seeing if there was anything he could do, but he'd held back. He wished he hadn't now; maybe he could have let everything out much earlier and he'd have had the Rose he remembered back again. Since their long talk, she seemed much stronger. 

He wished he could leave her sleeping a bit longer. If she was right, and something was wrong with Janie or Jon, she wouldn't get much sleep for the foreseeable future. But she'd kill him if he wasted even one second of the time they had. Gently, he leaned over and touched her shoulder.

"Rose? We're here."

* * *

The TARDIS seemed quiet again after they'd all traipsed out, Janie and Jon noticeably quiet. The timeship hummed away to herself, busily extracting the information the Doctor had asked for. She was really getting old, he thought, or maybe he was just expecting a lot of her. She'd been through more lately than usual, what with crashing through universes and being handled by Jon. Still, he wished she'd just do this one last thing for him before she had a good long rest. He just wanted to know what they were up against here. He wanted to know what the legend entailed, and how he could stop it. The others all thought it was over with now they had Janie back, but he knew in his hearts that it was very far from over. Legends didn't just go away. Those aliens would be back sooner or later, and they'd want Janie again for whatever purpose. He knew it couldn't be good. 

He still had Abby to deal with. He'd mellowed a little since Jon had woken up and he was certain his son wasn't dying. He felt a bit bad that he'd spoken to her like that. But really, she was hopeless. He remembered now why she'd left; they drove each other crazy. There was something else though. She'd promised him when she left that she'd be fine, that she wouldn't lose her mind like the others. He'd believed her too; of all the people he'd traveled with, he'd believed Abby would return home unscathed. And it seemed she'd been alright, even scraping enough exams together to get into university. But she wasn't fine, he could see that now. She was just better at hiding it than most of them. He was beginning to think he'd never understand her, and he wasn't sure he had the energy to try anymore. She was trouble, she lashed out, she'd half-killed his son. He couldn't keep her onboard anymore; sooner or later she'd do something dangerous and that would be an end to one of them. He couldn't risk it. But then he remembered how kind she'd been to Jon, how her arrival had brought the first smile he'd seen on his son's face. How could he just turn her away like that? If only he could figure out what was going on in that head of hers… It wasn't her fault she wasn't Rose.

The Doctor felt the ground shift underneath his feet. He frowned. Something was wrong. If he was feeling especially paranoid, he'd go as far as to say… something was coming.

**End of Part 2**

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**Pure cheese ending! Love it!**


	51. Part 3 Chapter 50

**Thought I may as well update. Why not?

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Part 3

Gwen spent the long journey into the country wedged between a taciturn Jon and a silently seething Janie. She didn't know quite what had rattled the twins' respected cages, but she knew she didn't much like being between them. The silence in the car didn't help either.

Owen fiddled with the radio as the signal dropped out halfway through a song. All he got was the crackling of static and a few brief snatches of a radio soap in Welsh. He growled. "Bloody typical." He glanced at his watch. "How much further is this place, Tosh?"

"Not far." Tosh checked the directions she'd found before they'd left Cardiff. "About ten miles or so."

Ten miles of hell, as Owen continued cursing everything about the countryside from the pot-holes in the road to their apparent inability to drive. Gwen winced as he unleashed a tirade of abuse at an old woman wiggling from side to side on the road, and narrowly avoiding crashing into them. She was glad when they came to a stop and the handbrake went on. Then she remembered they were here to do a job, and she felt her nerve fail her. This didn't feel right at all, having Owen and Tosh here, but not Jack.

They'd stopped outside the address they'd been given, a small, run-down looking village hall. It was in the middle of village, on the main street.

"Make that the only street." Owen grimaced as he looked around. "Not exactly thriving is it?"

He was right. From where they stood at the top of the main road through the village, they could see it all. There was a pub at the far end, but even from here they could see that the windows were boarded up and there was a large To Let sign on it. There was a shop next door to it, but the door was firmly closed. The five houses on each side of the road were all silent. There was a mangy looking cat sitting on a window ledge, its matted grey tail hanging limply off the edge. It turned its head as it heard them pull up in the car, and within seconds it had bounded over and was cheerfully threading in and out of Janie's ankles, meowing loudly.

Janie bent down to stroke it, and picked him up. "He's starving, poor thing," she said, hugging him into her chest. "What's happened here?" It reminded her of some of the more bombed out areas of London, and she had to look away from the burnt out car, the only car on the street apart from their own. Instead she cuddled the cat closer and listened to the deep rumbling purrs in his throat.

"That's what we here for." Gwen glanced at the young girl again, holding onto the grey cat like it was a child's teddy bear. "Janie, you don't have to come in if you don't want to." She'd feel so much more comfortable if Janie, and come to think of it, Jon as well, would just stay in the SUV until they'd been in and checked it all out. They'd gone through too much to get Janie back and safe to risk it all now. But she'd also learnt that these Tyler twins were feistier and more head-strong than anyone she'd ever met, including Jack, and that was saying something.

Predictably, as soon as Janie was told she didn't have to do something, she straightened her back. "No, it's fine," she insisted, her eyes flickering over to Owen again. "I just think we ought to take him back with us. There's no one left here to look after him."

"I'm not much of a cat person," Owen said hesitantly, eyeing the cat suspiciously.

"You better learn then," Janie replied sharply, before reopening the car door and placing the cat inside. "There." The cat sniffed at his new surroundings curiously, but seemed so pleased to be in out of the cold air that he huddled up on the seat almost instantly.

Meanwhile, Jon had been looking at the hall in front of them. There was nothing special about it, just a regular village hall, with the usual curling notices about choir practice and a fete which had happened over two months ago. There was an air of dereliction about the place. The flower-beds were long dead, and belied the proud sign affixed to the side of the road which pronounced the village runners-up in last year's Britain in Bloom competition. It was the silence that was so overwhelming though; not even the birds were singing.

Owen opened the boot of the car and pulled out a gun. He handed it to Jon.

"Just in case," he said as the teenager looked from the gun to him in surprise. "We don't want any stray bullets flying round, do we?" He raised his eyebrows pointedly and Jon blushed. Owen turned to Janie. "There aren't enough for you…" He tailed off. She had grey cat hair all over the black jumper she had on, and she looked so child-like. She shouldn't be here. He had half a mind to open the car door and throw her in alongside the stupid cat, apart from the fact that at least if she was with them in that hall, whatever it might hold, they could at least have a chance at keeping her safe.

"Just stay back," he concluded eventually. "Right then. Come on." He led the way up to the door of the hall. The windows were made of frosted glass and they couldn't see in. Whoever's idea that had been, Owen personally wanted to shoot them. It made it all so much more complicated. There was little noise coming from inside, apart from a regular chorus of voices, too soft for the words to be made out. There was no other way to tell what was going on in this strange village. God, he hated the country. He counted to three softly, before they burst through the doors, he and Gwen leading the way.

* * *

The Doctor was surprised to hear the TARDIS door opening as he lay down in the belly of the ship, fiddling with something. If he was completely honest, he wasn't sure what it was, but it was keeping him busy. Well, it was making him _look_ busy which was nearly as good, as it was keeping Ianto off his back. He wasn't sure exactly what the deal was with that bloke, but he seemed determined to be of use. The Doctor had drunk enough tea to make him sick of the stuff. This was the only way he'd managed to convince Ianto to leave him alone.

"Back a bit early, aren't you?" he said, struggling into a seated position so he could lever himself out of the grating. He got as far as standing up and then stopped dead, the smile that had risen to his face disappearing.

Rose bit her lip. "Hey."

The Doctor was silent for a few more seconds before exploding into words and action. "Rose? But… how… why….h…wh…" He jumped up. "How did you…? When…? Didn't I…?" He regained some composure. "I told you that you couldn't come back," he reminded her.

"It hasn't caused any problems has it?" Rose raised her eyebrows. "The vortex hasn't dropped out yet. And I didn't see any reapers hanging around outside."

"To be fair, Rose, you were asleep most of the way," Jack reminded her.

Rose ignored his input. "Where's Janie?" She looked around as though she expected her daughter to be lurking in the control room somewhere. Knowing her though, she'd be locked in her room, throwing a strop. She made a move towards the corridor.

"She's… not actually here." The Doctor pulled an awkward face.

Rose frowned. "What do you mean? Where is she?"

"She's sort of gone… out. With Torchwood." The Doctor shifted his weight uneasily, and glanced over at Jack who looked intrigued. "They got a phone call from someone."

"And you let my daughter go with them?" Rose sounded incredulous, and didn't even notice that she'd taken sole possession of Janie again. "After seeing what they do?"

"Jon's kind of gone too." The Doctor rushed to reassure her. "But I told them not to wander off."

Rose stared at him in disbelief. "You just let them go? They're eighteen, wandering off's practically what they do! My God, I knew I should have come earlier!" She began distractedly pacing around the room, and the Doctor couldn't help noticing how much she'd changed since the last time he'd seen her. Her roots were showing even more, and her skin looked pale, but she seemed more alive and vital. The blonde bits in her hair were shining golden in the light of the time vortex, and she'd lost weight. Even her eyes were shining more. She caught him looking.

"What?" she demanded, her eyebrows knitting together furiously. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to do something?" Her eyes darted across to Jack too.

"I'll… I'll call Gwen, see what's going on." Jack backed away from them. "Maybe we can catch up with them or something."

"We better be able to." Rose shot the Doctor another filthy look. She leaned against a pillar, anger rippling through her veins, unsure whether to cry, scream or hit him. Maybe she should complete the trilogy, be the third generation of Tylers to give the man a good smack. God only knew she was in the right mood for it.

The Doctor cleared his throat several times, fiddling with yet more buttons on the TARDIS. His ship grumbled at the added interference and he let his hands drop into his pockets, and faced the fact that he had to say something to Rose. He couldn't just ignore this one.

"Rose…"

"What?" Rose was as sulky as the teenager she used to be, and she didn't care. She couldn't believe what he'd done; he was supposed to be a Time Lord, he was supposed to be intelligent. More than that, he was supposed to be their _father_; he was meant to keep them both safe. He'd already failed with Janie once, and now he seemed to be aiming for the whole set.

"I'm sorry."

Rose folded her arms and jutted her chin out. "Yeah, well. Easy to say, isn't it?" The amount of times she'd heard him apologise, to everyone, all over the place. It didn't make it any better, did it? It didn't make Scooti any less dead, or the Cybermen any more human. It was just words.

His brown eyes registered hurt at her words. "I am though. So sorry."

He looked exhausted. He nearly always looked tired, at least he did when he let his features relax enough to depict anything other than hyperactivity. But this was something else. He looked drawn and pale, and he'd lost even more weight than she had, Rose was sure. He was wasting away, slowly, and his eyes looked dull and even his hair had stopped shining. She wanted to gather him up in her arms and hug him and tell him… tell him what? She'd had so long to think about what she could tell him, what she could say to make it all better, and she didn't know where to start. Everything was such a mess. Then the other side of her reminded her that he'd gone and _lost_ their children, and she didn't want to even be in the same room as him.

She scuffed the floor with her battered trainers. "Why did you let them go?"

"They were… very convincing."

Rose's eyes lifted quickly from the floor. "Jon didn't hit you, did he?"

The Doctor's face broke into a grin. "No. He didn't. He's been pretty well-behaved actually. Apart from when he stole the TARDIS of course."

"He did what?" Jon had never even shoplifted, not even a penny sweet. He'd never even taken a pound out of her purse.

"It's a not a big deal." The Doctor shrugged it off. "Like I said, they were just both very convincing."

Rose could imagine. Jon could be as stubborn as hell when he wanted to be, and if he was still pushing the Doctor away like he had been before, then there wasn't much he could do there. And Janie… Oh, she knew exactly the games Janie could play, she'd watched her practise them on Pete and Mickey for years. The big brown eyes, the angelic face, the names…

"She called you Dad, didn't she?"

The Doctor seemed miles away. "What?"

"Janie." Rose clarified. "She called you Dad."

The Doctor nodded slowly. "Yeah," he breathed out heavily. "Yeah, she did."

Rose rolled her eyes. "She knows exactly what to say, doesn't she?"

"Yep. Just like her mother."

Rose felt his eyes rest on her, and couldn't be angry with him any longer.

"I missed you."

He smiled. "Yeah, I mis-" He broke off as a creak on the grating floor made them both jump.

Rose stared at the newcomer. Dressed in shorts and a skimpy top, with her hair still messily tied back, the girl for a second reminded her of Janie, and she wondered if the Doctor had been lying all along. Then she looked again, and realized it wasn't her daughter, but another girl, around the same age. The girl had stopped mid-step and was looking between the two of them, her mouth open slightly.

"I…" She bit her tongue. "Sorry, I didn't know…"

Rose raised her eyebrows at the Doctor. "No. Neither did I." She waited for a response from him.

He closed his eyes, seemingly in pain. "Rose, this is Abby. Abby, Rose."

"I'd kind of figured that one." Abby shot back, and Rose couldn't help noticing the sparks in her eyes. And the fact that she looked absolutely awful.

The Doctor had to clench his teeth to stop himself lashing out at Abby. She was supposed to be here to help, not make things worse. "Go and get dressed, Abby. I'm taking you home."

"You don't need to bother," Abby snapped back. "I'll see myself out." She turned to leave, and was making a pretty classy dramatic exit, before turning to look at Rose again. "I thought you said she couldn't come through."

"Yeah, well, I can't always be right!" The Doctor glared at her. "Abby, just…" He didn't need this right now.

Jack came back into the control room. "Gwen's not answering. Neither's Owen."

"And Jon left his phone here." The Doctor lifted the dead phone up off the control panel.

"What's happened?" Abby looked between them all.

Jack turned to face her for the first time. Rose supposed she couldn't blame his initial knee-jerk reaction. A grin spread across his face. "Hi, Captain Jack Harkness."

"Jack!" The Doctor growled at him, and Jack at least had the good grace to look a bit cowed. "Please! Not. Right. Now." He closed his eyes. "We need to find Jon and Janie, we need to get hold of them." This had been a stupid idea, if anything had happened to them, he would never ever forgive himself. And he was sure Rose wouldn't either.

"What's happened?" Abby asked again. "Where have they gone?"

"Abby, this isn't anything to do with you!"

"It bloody is!" Abby spat, and Rose turned to look at her again with a strange feeling of recognition. She wasn't sure who she recognized though, her daughter or herself. "You can't just chuck me out now, I'm involved. What's happened?"

"Jon and Janie have gone along with the others on a job," Jack explained, when neither of the other two managed to provide a response. "It'll be nothing," he added as comfortingly as he could to them. "Nine out of ten times it's nothing." It was the most frustrating part of the job, being called out on wild goose chases.

"And the other times?" Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. Jack looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

"So how are we going to find them?" Abby looked around the three stationary people. This was what annoyed her about people the most; their typical inability to act quickly. She supposed she could forgive Rose, seeing as they were her kids and she wasn't used to all this… then she remembered that Rose _was_ used to all this, she'd been with the Doctor for who knew how long. Abby felt a stab of jealousy as she saw the Doctor meet Rose's eye and knew, really knew for the first time ever, that he'd never look at her that way.

They didn't reply, which only made her angrier.

"There must be some way!" She turned her attention onto Jack. "Can't you trace the car or something?"

Jack's eyes widened. "There is…" He nodded. "Yeah, we could do that." He internally kicked himself for being such an idiot not to realize that. He didn't know what had come over him; it was like he'd expected the Doctor to take control, to know what to do. If the last few days had made Rose stronger and more like her old self… well, he felt more like his old self too; the Jack before the Doctor and Rose, a coward.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Well, why haven't you?" It worried her that these people were left in charge of such important things.

"I'll get onto it." He was about to leave the TARDIS when a voice cut across the control room.

"I know where they are."

Jack turned, and couldn't help a wide grin breaking out across his face. "Ianto!" In a couple of strides he was hugging the Welshman. The close physical contact between them only served to remind Rose and the Doctor that that was one thing they hadn't done. Neither of them could quite believe that. There was a time when hugging was practically their favourite method of communication. There'd been so much injected into those embraces, wrapping each other up tight. Silent promises had been made, unspoken words exchanged. They'd been a comfort, a balm, a blanket, a home. And now they were at the bottom of the list, after apologies and accusations and raw despair. It was enough to make Rose cry.

Determined not to, she threw her shoulders back. It wasn't only this Abby who could be a strong presence. "Where are they then?"

"They've gone to this village, out in the country." Ianto pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket. "It's about a two hour drive."

Rose's stomach lurched uncomfortably. Two hours was too long, even if Jack was driving.

Without another word being spoken, the Doctor began pulling levers and twisting dials. "Jack, could you lend me a hand please."

Jack frowned. "With what?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "With this. Two hours by car… two minutes by TARDIS." He shot Rose a look. "I've rescued her once. I can do it again."

* * *

Bursting into the hall, Owen brandished his gun. Gwen and Tosh moved past him into the room, and he felt both Jon and Janie jostling him from behind. He opened his mouth to call out a warning in case there were any civilians around, but the words died away on his tongue as he looked around the hall. He'd never seen anything like it before.

There were three people in the hall. An overweight man with a bald spot in the middle of his head was flanked on one side by a middle-aged blonde woman, and on the other by a slightly less middle-aged brunette. All three of them were kneeling on the ground, a low almost primeval humming coming from them. They hadn't even turned to look as the door had been flung open and Torchwood had burst in. They seemed to be in the middle of some kind of prayer ritual, as they laid themselves out on the ground, the humming going up a semi-tone, but remaining the same, wordless, monotonous drone which Owen knew would haunt him for a long time to come. Then he looked at what they were facing, and everything became a lot worse.

"Owen?" Gwen's trembly voice reached him even with the drone in the background. "Owen, aren't they…?"

Owen was unable to say anything, but nodded, feeling bead of sweat breaking out all over his body as he faced the two creatures at the far end of the hall. He'd only ever seen pictures of them before, a few scattered photographs around the Torchwood base. They were blurry and taken from CCTV cameras and camera phones that day a few years ago when it had all happened. Even in those pictures though, he'd sensed something of the fear associated with them, the look of terror that came into Jack's eyes every time they were mentioned. The pictures were nothing compared to the real thing though.

And the real thing was nothing compared to the animated real thing.

The lights on the top of one of their heads flashed, almost indignantly, and the long stalk with what could only be described as an eye at the end wiggled furiously. Then a voice, a strange, mechanical, inhuman voice, spoke.

"Alert! Alert! Human intruders!"

* * *

"Not getting much better at this, are you?" The Doctor yelled over the noise of the mid-flight TARDIS, as Jack finally grabbed hold of the right lever. "Now hold on to it!"

"I'm trying!" Jack snarled back, just as the they came crashing to a standstill. Rose and Abby fell over each other and landed in a messy heap of limbs on the floor. Even the Doctor and Jack staggered uneasily backwards. Only Ianto retained his balance.

"Is that it? Are we there?" Abby looked up and pulled herself upright.

The Doctor tapped a few buttons and checked the outside of the TARDIS. "Yep, we're here. Some kind of hall…" He tailed off.

"What is it?" Rose asked, seeing a look that she couldn't quite decipher pass across his face. "Doctor?" Her heartbeat rose noticeably, and her eyes darted from him to Jack and back again. "Doctor, what is it?"

"Stay here!" The Doctor left the control panel and bounded down the walkway to the door. "Don't come out till I say!" He saw both Rose and Abby toss their hair back defiantly, as though they had no intention of obeying his instructions. "Please, for once, just do it," he said, before disappearing out of the door.

Rose remained staring after him for a few seconds, unable to believe he'd ask this of her. There was something wrong, something very wrong, and he was asking her not to go rushing out there to protect her children…

"Oh my God!" Abby exclaimed, as she looked at the screen in front of her. Her hazel eyes moved around the scene playing out in amazement. "What are they?"

Rose was next to her in an instant. Her stomach flipped over as she took it all in. She should have seen this coming. It was like everything from her past had hurtled into the present and was tying them all up in knots, in the way only the past could. Everything about her time with the Doctor, everything that had led to this moment was undeniably tied up with those…

She bolted for the door.

"Rose!" Jack held her back.

"Let me go!"

"You heard what he said! We have to stay here!"

"Jack, you don't understand!" Rose tried to find a way to explain. This was as much about Jack as about her and the Doctor. After all, they were the reason he'd died in the first place.

"It's not safe!"

"It's Daleks!"

Jack released his hold on Rose and stepped backwards, his mouth hanging open. She couldn't know exactly what was running through his head, but she could guess. It was probably the same sort of thing that was going through hers: _if it wasn't for the Daleks, we'd all still be together. None of this would have happened._

"The Doctor mentioned the Daleks," Abby said tentatively. "He said… he said they were all gone."

Rose nodded. "He always said that. He was always wrong about that." Every time, they found a way to come back, a way to cheat death and keep coming back again. Like the proverbial bad penny.

"What's he doing?" Jack found his voice.

Abby looked back at the screen. "Just… standing." There was no sound on the screen, and the Doctor had his back to the camera. "I don't know… talking?"

"Probably," Rose agreed.

Jack nodded. "Okay. Ianto, what weapons have we got on here?"

Ianto looked uncertain. "Um, they took a lot of them…"

"What have we got?" Jack repeated himself, his voice taking on a greater sense of urgency.

"I'll go and see." Ianto turned round and hurried down the main corridor.

Jack tugged off his long coat and rolled his sleeves up. "It'll take more than talking to deal with them." He flashed a brief smile at Rose. "We'll go down fighting, yeah?"

Rose nodded. "Yeah." Then her eyes fell back onto the screen, as she watched what was happening outside.

* * *

Janie knew this had been a stupid idea. From the second they'd stopped in this strangely silent village, with all its boarded windows and desolate houses, she wanted nothing more than to turn and run away again. She'd had too much weirdness to last her a lifetime. But she hadn't said no, hadn't been able to admit that, not to Jon, or to her dad, or even to Owen… Why was she following this man she hardly knew into untold dangers? Would she never learn?

Now she knew for certain that she should have stayed at home. Peering over Owen's shoulder, she knew without being told that those things were alien. She didn't know what alien, and she didn't care. The stiffening in Owen's shoulders, and the way the colour had drained from Gwen's face told her everything she needed to know. These weren't good aliens.

There was a long pause after the alien had spoken. The humming had stopped, but the three people remained kneeling on the ground. It was funny; it was like they were… worshipping them. Janie felt a shudder run down her spine. What had happened to everyone else from this village?

Owen slowly squeezed the trigger on his gun and bullets began raining out. Janie watched as they hurtled towards the two aliens, who didn't even flinch or move. She wondered why; surely they knew what guns were? Then a gasp left her mouth as she realized why they didn't care. Just inches from their metal bodies, the bullets dissolved into air, vanishing before her eyes. Again and again it happened, until Owen's gun was empty. And there wasn't a scratch on the aliens.

Owen's arms dropped to his sides, and the gun slipped out of his grip and landed close to Janie's toes. She could almost feel the despair coming off of him in waves, and she felt a ridiculous urge to slip her hand inside his and tell him it would be alright. How it would ever be alright she had no idea; it seemed they'd all trawled the past to find her and bring her home, only to bring her to a remote village in Wales to her death. There wasn't much further you could get from "alright".

Then a noise broke through the oppressive silence, faint, but there. Like a brisk wind in the distance, whipping round and round and getting louder. The faded notices on the wall fluttered, threatening to break loose of their pins, and then, like a miracle, they saw the familiar shape of the TARDIS materializing in the hall.

* * *

Feeling far more agitated than he was willing to admit or show, the Doctor took a deep breath, shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered out into the hall. He cast a quick glance over at the doorway; Jon and Janie were just visible behind Owen. They were safe. Then he turned his attention onto the Daleks.

Predictably, as he set foot into the hall, one of them erupted into speech.

"It is the Doctor!" it screeched, wheeling backwards and forwards. "Alert!"

The Doctor winced and rubbed at his ear. "Yeah, thanks for the announcement." He surveyed the three humans still lying prostrate on the floor. "Bit of a new one for you, isn't it? This kind of… hero worship." He looked around the hall and wrinkled his nose slightly. "New kind of location too. Nice institution green walls."

He fixed them with a fierce glare. "So how did you manage it this time? When are you ever going to give up?"

There was no reply from them.

"Ah, not wanting to share your secrets. Nice touch, I like it." He nodded. "Okay, how about this one? What are you doing here?"

"We have come to fulfill the Legend," one of them replied, and if it had been capable of emotion, the Doctor would have been convinced it sounded slightly ashamed, or even embarrassed to be involved with something so archaic as a legend set in stone before time.

"Ah, of course." He walked round the room. "The Legend. The _sacrifice_. Silly me." He gestured towards the people on the floor. "And these are what? Practice runs? Hold on, let me guess. You needed somewhere quiet to wait for the Legend to fall into place. Somewhere to lie low for a while. So you what? Came in and destroyed a few hundred Welsh villagers so you could use their homes?" He frowned. "That doesn't explain these three though, does it? What is it? What do you need them for?"

"They worship us!"

"Worship?" The Doctor stared at the two Daleks incredulously. "They don't worship you, they're afraid of you!" He crouched down by the blonde woman and lifted her head slowly and gently. He looked into her pale blue eyes and there was no response. Nothing. "Brainwashed. You've filled their heads full of you!" He stood up again. "Since when did you want worshipping anyway? You're not gods!" He was suddenly reminded of the Dalek Emperor. _They're insane_.

"We are all powerful. We will rule the universes."

The Doctor's face fell suddenly. "When?" he asked. He'd heard the Daleks prophesies before. Of what they would be and could be and might be and should be. Never had two short sentences struck such fear into him.

"When the Legend has been fulfilled."

"And what if the Legend isn't fulfilled?" The Doctor challenged them. "Because do you really think I'm going to sit back and let that happen, that I'll just let you take over the universe?"

"The Legend will be fulfilled."

"But what if it I stop you? Let's just say, for one minute, that I do, and you don't rule the universes." He winched at the plural. "What then?"

"It ends."

"What ends?"

"It ends."

"What ends? What do you mean?"

"Doctor, get down!"

A rain of bullets hailed down onto the two Daleks. The Doctor stepped backwards out of the way, even as he knew those bullets wouldn't make any difference.

"Retreat!" Before their eyes, the Daleks vanished. It took several seconds for Jack to release the trigger on the gun though, and several bullets fell to the floor, ringing against the tiles.

There was silence for a few moments.

"What is going on?" The man got to his feet, dusting his trousers down, and looking round at the assembled crowd. "What am I doing here?" The two women stood up too, looking confused and more than a little frightened, especially when they saw Jack's gun

Jack caught the Doctor's eye, and nodded at Ianto. "Ianto, why don't you take these people outside?"

"Yes sir." Ianto gestured towards the door. "If you'd like to come this way."

The three of them left, looking around them in a dazed way.

Leaving just them in the hall.

"Mum? Mum!"

Rose suddenly found herself being half-knocked over by a quivering Janie, who buried her head in her mum's shoulder. Barely two seconds later, Jon crashed into them.

"It's alright," she said softly, stroking her daughter's hair and rubbing her son's back. "It's okay, it's over. We're here now, you're okay."

The Doctor watched from across the hall, the family of three. Jon had his back firmly to his father, shielding the both Rose and Janie from his sight. Excluding him. He'd have felt more upset if he hadn't been replaying the Daleks words over and over in his head. _It ends. It ends._

"Mum, I'm sorry!" Janie sobbed into Rose's shoulder. "What I said, I didn't mean it, I…"

"It's alright, sweetheart," Rose said gently again, tears springing into her own eyes. "I know."

"I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too." Rose kissed her head. "How are you?" she asked Jon, running a hand over his head.

"I'm alright."

She hadn't expected any other answer from him, but she could see from one look at him that he was far from alright. God only knew what he'd seen on this trip, what places he'd been. But it was okay. They were here, they were safe, she'd got them back. They had their whole lives to get over this. Things were going to be okay.

* * *

Jack walked across the hall to the three other Torchwood members. Owen glanced at him guiltily, and immediately excuses began leaping from his lips.

"It wasn't my idea for them to come," he said. "They wanted to come, I couldn't stop them. And how was I supposed to know it would be dangerous? I…"

Jack waited for him to tail off before placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not blaming you. You did good." He smiled and punched him lightly on the arm. "You've managed not to open up any Rifts this time. You're improving."

Owen smiled back weakly. "I'm trying."

Jack turned to Tosh and beamed at her. "I'm guessing you helped find Janie?"

"Sort of. But Jack…"

"Shush!" Jack pulled her in close for a hug. "Well done. You can fill me in later, once we've sorted everything else out."

"But…" Tosh caught Owen's eye. He needed to know where Janie had been, what she'd done, who'd she met.

But Jack had already turned towards Gwen. He hadn't realized until this second how much he'd missed her. Really and truly. Every time Rose had brought her name up, he'd just pushed it away, like thinking about her was too much to bear. Since talking to Rose, things had become so much clearer in his own head. Messier, and more hard to handle, but clearer. He knew why he'd pushed Gwen away. And it had been a really stupid idea.

She looked paler than normal, like she hadn't been sleeping well. She had big dark shadows underneath her eyes, and her usually shiny hair was lank and dull. Her dark eyes watched him with a timid fascination, as though she wished she could look away but couldn't.

Turning his back on the others a little, he lowered his voice. "Are you okay?"

Gwen nodded. "Yeah, fine." Her voice was harder than he'd imagined it, more clipped and distant. Like she was pushing him away…

"You look tired."

"I'm fine." She folded her arms defiantly. No chance of any contact with her, Jack realized. If he dared lay so much as a finger on her, let alone do what he really wanted to do, he had a feeling Gwen would be more than capable of putting him in his place. It wasn't the welcome he'd been hoping for.

He turned his attention back to Rose and the twins. Janie was a pretty girl; not as pretty as Rose, but then, he was biased. She was so like her mother, he could see that even from this distance. It was strange; when the three of them stood together, they looked like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. Almost finished. One glance over at the Doctor told him where the missing piece was.

"Is that it then?" Gwen's voice interrupted his thoughts. Her coldness had dissipated slightly, but she didn't sound any less weary. "Is it over?"

Jack wanted to say yes. The scene in front of him seemed to suggest it was. Rose had her children back, safe and sound. All the loose ends had been tied up. Only they hadn't. Abby hovered a few feet away from the Doctor, her eyes fixed on his face. The Doctor himself stared at the family group in front of him, but didn't seem to be seeing anything. There were those people outside, the gap between Rose and the Doctor, Gwen at his elbow when she should be in his arms… When was anything ever over?

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Owen joined in. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe." Jack looked at his colleagues. "When's anything ever over for us?"

They all four looked across the hall again.

"Jack?" Tosh ventured.

"What?"

"You should know. When we found Janie."

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her.

"It was… in 1941."

He raised his eyebrows.

"She…" Tosh swallowed a lump in her throat. "She met someone."

"Who?" Jack felt his heart rate increase as, with a sense of déjà vu, he knew exactly what was coming.

"Jack Harkness." Tosh continued in a rush. "Not you. The other one."

Jack turned away from her, and rested his eyes on the girl in front of him again. And closed his eyes, and remembered that night.

* * *

Abby wished she knew where to put herself. It was like being back at school. There were always groups at school, all with subtle rules as to how and why you could belong. There were the cool-but-safe kids, the cool-and-dangerous kids, the drop-outs, the slags, the geeks. Somehow, Abby had never fitted into any of those groups. She wasn't good enough for the safe kids, but she was never quite bad enough to be dangerous. Things weren't as complicated here. There were very clear reasons why she didn't belong now. She wasn't part of the Tyler family, so she couldn't join their close circle. She wasn't a member of Torchwood, so she couldn't join their loose line. She was a nothing, a nobody. She didn't fit here. She thought she'd have become an expert at this by now.

So she stood in the only place she could. Near the Doctor. He was staring at his family, but his eyes were faraway and distant, a look she recognized so well. It was how he used to look when his mind drifted away to think about Rose. Now she was right in front of him, and he was still doing it, still imagining her. Like he couldn't get enough.

"Is that it?" she asked in a small voice, not wanting to disturb any of the others in the hall. "Is it over?"

The Doctor turned to look at her, and she felt his eyes rove over her like he'd never seen her before. He didn't pull a mad face, or break into a grin, or even try and put some life back into his eyes. He just looked at her. Then finally, he spoke.

"No. It's not over." His voice was as heavy as his expression, and tore right through Abby. She'd never heard him by so honest before. He turned his eyes upon her and they looked so sad she wanted to cry. "Oh Abs. It's nowhere near over." Then he looked over at Rose and the twins again. "But how am I ever going to tell her that?"


	52. Chapter 51

**Much as I like this chapter for its weirdness, it doesn't really answer many questions. Which may annoy some people, but I'll update again soon with chapter 52... and there's only 6 chapters left now, and an epilogue. So trust me... something big is going to happen soon! Take a deep breath and relax with this chapter... you'll need to breathe more in later chapters.**

**

* * *

**Tosh and Ianto offered to drive the SUV back down. Gwen initially intended to join them and at least try and regain some normality. But then she knew Jack would want to stay with the Doctor and Rose, and Owen showed no signs of wanting to take the slow path. She felt she had no choice; those two men, boys really… they needed someone to keep them in check, someone to watch over them. And she supposed that role fell to her, the only one of Torchwood without a real niche. Tosh had her computers, Owen had his medicine. Even Ianto had his coffee pot. And Jack was… Jack was everything. 

Even so, Gwen wished they could move out of the main control room of the TARDIS and retire to their own rooms. She needed time to curl up and think about everything that had happened lately, time to mend the parts of her that had broken. She also needed time to decide what she was going to do next. The case was over and done, Janie was safe and as soon as they were all dropped off in Cardiff, the Doctor would be whisking his family away to safety again. Leaving her with the problem of having nowhere to go. She needed time to think that one out. Instead, they were all lingering around the time vortex, getting under one another's feet and skins. It was like they were all waiting for something…

* * *

Rose wanted to rush Jon and Janie straight along to their rooms, pick their stuff up and get delivered back home as soon as possible. She knew it was silly, but somehow this universe seemed more dangerous than the other. It was stupid; it wasn't as though the Cybermen hadn't begun in the other world (Pete's World, she remembered the Doctor gleefully christening it), and Janie had, after all, been taken from there. But she'd had eighteen years of peace and quiet and safety. They all sounded such dull words, a million miles from what the old Rose, the younger Rose would have wanted. Things changed, though. People changed, she thought, looking across at the Doctor. The old Doctor, her first Doctor, would never have hugged half the people this one had, wouldn't have gone back through that fireplace to collect Reinette. Safety was important for the Rose she was now, the mother. This universe was out of control, beyond what she could handle. There were Daleks in small villages in Wales, for God's sake! It would all be so much simpler if they just went home. 

But she wasn't hurrying them through the control room, ushering them to go and pack. She hadn't even mentioned her desire to get going to the Doctor, and he hadn't pressed any buttons. No one was doing anything much. Just standing round. Waiting. Waiting for something…

* * *

What Jack wouldn't give for a Martini. Two. Hell, three or four would probably only just begin to hit the spot. Maybe the simpler option would be to just down a bottle of vodka and then follow it up with some Vermouth, and make a kind of deconstructed Martini. It was all he could do to stop himself rushing down the corridor to where he knew the TARDIS bar would be (naturally) fully stocked with exactly what he wanted. Drink wasn't really the answer, but it was a pretty good medium to start the research with. 

He couldn't help himself stealing glances at Janie more and more often. She'd met Jack. His namesake. The one who he wouldn't exist without. Captain Jack Harkness was who he was. A stolen identity. No wonder Gwen could barely look him in the eye, didn't want to touch him, spat her words out. Everything about her, from her tightly folded arms to her dead eyes told him something was wrong, but she wasn't going to tell him what. He supposed it was a fair exchange; he hadn't confided in her about Jack, she wasn't going to confide in him about… what?

He really should go and get that drink. But his legs weren't quite making the journey from the control room to the bar. It was like he was waiting for something…

* * *

Janie wanted to tell her mum sorry fifteen million times. She was sorry for yelling at on their birthday, sorry for walking out without leaving a note, sorry for being stupid enough to get sucked into all this mess. She was sorry for being so difficult all the time, and driving Rose round the bend, and sorry for dragging everybody into danger. 

But she didn't say sorry, the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. Instead she was left standing in the middle of the control room, clutching onto the cat like a child with a blanket. It was like she was waiting for something…

* * *

Jon could hardly bear to look either his mum or his dad in the eye. Or Jack. Or any of them for that matter. He'd let them all down. He'd been brought along to help, to try and find Janie. And what had he managed to do? He'd found Abby and dragged her onboard; he only had to sneak a look at her now to see that she didn't want to be here. She'd lost her sparkle, her hair was dull. She looked like she was breaking down slowly. Over the last few days, she'd got completely out of control. And the Doctor didn't even seem to want her around now. He'd taken the TARDIS and played around with timelines. He'd insisted on going along with Torchwood on this stupid mission, and insisted on Janie coming too. On top of all that, he'd bottled it again. He could see the bullets weren't touching those aliens, but he should have backed Owen up. He should have at least tried. Instead, the gun had stayed unloaded and unready in his frozen hand. 

He wanted to run way and hide from their eyes. But he stayed rooted to the spot. Like he was waiting for something…

* * *

Abby wished she could melt into the time vortex and float far away from here. She'd always thought that it seemed far more peaceful and serene inside those flowing colours, and she wanted to disappear more than ever now. Utterly trapped, she didn't know what else she could do. She wanted to leave but there was nowhere for her to go. University was going badly even before she stopped going, which was well before she met Jon. She'd spent so long trying to escape from the farm that going back was the last thing she wanted to do. But she couldn't stay. She should pick her stuff up now and just walk out into this village. 

She stayed where she was though. She couldn't leave now. There was too much happening. It made her want to punch a wall or even herself, but it was true; she couldn't walk out on the Doctor now. She'd stuck by him this long. She always would. So she just had to wait.

* * *

Owen was out of his depth. He liked being the dynamic hero, dashing in and saving the situation at the last second. He was good with that kind of thing. But getting involved… that wasn't him, that was Gwen, that was Tosh, that was even, on occasion, Jack. But not him. He'd let his guard down once before, he'd let Diane in, and look where that had got him. This job just didn't sit well with getting involved and caring. Even he knew that was an excuse though. In truth, Owen didn't sit well with getting involved and caring. Until now. He didn't know how, but Janie had got underneath his skin. He hated it, but there it was. He cared about Janie. It made him want to get as far away from her as possible and vow never to set eyes on her again; if it was anything like his previous affairs, a few weeks would be all it would take to get over it. Only he didn't run. He just stood, and waited.

* * *

The Doctor gazed round at all the people in his TARDIS. All there because of him. Sometimes that made a smile cross his face; it made him pleased that he'd enabled so many people to change, to meet other people. Sarah-Jane and K-9, for instance. She loved that dog. Jackie and Pete. Mickey and Ricky. Only now it made his heart sink. It didn't make up for the hell he put everybody through. Without him, Jack might have remained a con-man, but he'd have got by without being sentenced to eternal life. Gwen might have continued her happy existence. Rose might have been bored with her life, but she'd have got on with it. Instead, it felt like they were just waiting for him, always watching and waiting for him to make an appearance or to tell them what to do. He couldn't do it to them anymore.

So, abruptly, the waiting was over.


	53. Chapter 52

**Update! Thought I'd get it in before I'm sucked into tonight's episode. Sort of a celebration of HOORAY he's back, but also a tiny bit of commiseration for all the people who don't get to see it tonight. All the reviews are looking fine and dandy, and even more excitingly, every review I've read has said that even though Martha falls for the Doctor... the Doctor still loves Rose. Darn straight he does! Sorry, very overexcited, only 6 and a half hours to go! EEEEEEEE! Better call my friend soon and organise our date tonight to watch it!!!! Yay!**

**Thanks for the reviews btw!!!**

**

* * *

**"I'm sorry?" After a long pause, Rose said what everyone else was thinking. A hush had fallen over everyone in the TARDIS; even the TARDIS herself had ceased her endless humming. All eyes were focused on the Doctor, bent over the console panel, his back to them all. "What did you say?" 

He straightened up, seeming to take an age, his long back uncurling. He ran a hand over his hair. "I said, it's not over."

Rose looked around at everyone, wondering if she'd missed a vital part of the conversation. They all looked as bewildered as she felt.

"What's not over?" Her voice trembled, wishing she hadn't asked. The way he'd spoken, the hunch of his back, the crack in his voice. She didn't want to know what he was talking about. Ignorance was, she had to admit, pretty damn blissful. She'd been so happy to have her children back, safe and sound. And now he had to throw a spanner into the works. She didn't want to know, she wanted to stay in this happy relaxed feeling forever. But she had to know. Curiosity was her main fault. Not her only fault, but one of the big ones. It had led her to the Doctor in the first place.

When the Doctor didn't reply, Jack stepped in. "What's not over?" he asked, eyeing the Doctor suspiciously.

The Doctor raised his heavy eyes from the floor and looked between his two friends. "The legend. The sacrifice. It's not over."

Rose clenched her fists. "You keep saying that. What do you mean?" She knew what he meant, they all did. Why did she feel the need to ask for clarification?

"Rose, you know what I mean," the Doctor said wearily.

"I don't." Janie spoke up suddenly. They all turned to look at her, and she busied herself with putting the cat down on the ground, uncomfortable under their gaze. "What do you mean? What legend?"

Rose gaped. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Janie growled, much to the cat's terror, as he slunk away. "What am I supposed to know?"

"I thought it would be better coming from you." The Doctor knew it was possibly the lamest answer he'd ever given to any question, but it didn't stop him.

"What?" Rose stared at him in disbelief. "This isn't some ground rule she's not to break! This is…" She tailed off, not wanting to admit exactly what this was. She met his eyes guiltily. How could she blame him for not telling Janie when she couldn't either?

"This is what?" Janie demanded, looking around at everyone. "Mum? Dad!" Her stomach lurched as she saw how everyone instinctively avoided eye contact with her. They all knew something she didn't. Something bad. Something about her. "What is it?"

This was what the Doctor was made for. When everyone else turned their back on something and looked away, unable to face the blinding terror in front of them, it was his job to step in, tackle everything head on and make things alright. He never thought he'd have to do something like this, not again. Not for one of his children. No one else would even look at Janie. Gwen looked ill, her pale face even paler. Jack's eyes had glazed over. Owen had backed away into the darkness, lingering near where Abby was rolling gum around her mouth methodically. Only Rose and Jon were making eye-contact at all. With him, willing him to _do something_.

"Those aliens that took you," he said finally, his voice sounding distant to him, as though he were floating above it all. "They took you for a reason. Did you know that?"

Janie shrugged. "I… I don't know." At the time she'd thought it was a nightmare. And then she'd known it wasn't, but she'd thought it was a mistake. But now… "Because I'm half-… what did you say?"

"Time Lord." The Doctor nodded. "Yeah. That's right. They needed you to fulfill this old legend. Ancient." He swallowed hard. "It's a legend of sacrifice."

Janie looked between her dad and mum uncertainly. "I don't understand."

She wasn't making it easy for him. She sounded so bewildered and child-like. He wished she'd never been dragged into this whole mess, he wished… Oh, he wished Rose's children were nothing to do with him sometimes. He wished these two wonderful, beautiful kids were a million miles away from him, with a normal dad and normal blood flowing through their veins. Life would have been so much easier for them. And Rose. He couldn't bear to think of her hurting all over again, because of him, because of who he was.

"The legend says that at the appointed time… which, I suppose, is now," he paused. "At the appointed time, the Last Time Lord will be sacrificed. For the good of the universe."

"What?" Jack spoke finally, pulling a face. "It says what?"

"The good of the universe? What does that even mean?" Rose asked.

"It means that. Exactly that. The good of the universe." The Doctor studied the floor intently. "Without the sacrifice, the universe ends." Just like the Daleks had said. Those creatures were more honest than they looked.

"No, that's impossible!" Jack insisted. "It can't just _end_! Things can't just _end_! They can change, things always change, but you can't just _destroy_ things, it can't-"

"Jack!" The Doctor interrupted him more sharply than he meant. It wasn't as though he hadn't run all of those lines through his own head, rejecting the impossible. When would he ever learn that the impossible didn't exist? Everything was possible. "It ends, okay? Without the sacrifice, the universe falls in. It needs more energy to keep going. Time Lord energy." He looked sadly at his daughter. "You're the Last Time Lord, Janie. You're the sacrifice."

There was a moment of silence.

"No!" Rose shook her head defiantly, her dark eyes flashing furiously. "No, she's not! There must be something you can do! You must be able to stop this, find some other way of fulfilling this stupid legend!"

"Do you think I haven't tried?" The Doctor demanded, finding anger rising up far more easily than usual. "This legend it's… it's not made by me, it's ancient, it's watertight, it's…" Impossible to get around.

"Well you'll just have to try harder!" Rose snarled. She looked over at the Torchwood team. "They'll help you. Won't you?" She raised her eyebrows. "Right?"

"Rose, that's not really our area…" Jack said, uncomfortably. Looking awkward really didn't suit him, he usually went out of his way to avoid that particular attitude.

"Not really your area?" Rose stared at him incredulously. How could this be the same man she'd known all that time ago? The man who'd boldly strolled across a spacestation in the tightest leather trousers she'd ever seen, brandishing two guns and asking _"Do I look like an out of bounds sort of guy?"_ Now he was quibbling over it not really being _his area_ to deal with things like this. "You're Torchwood! What exactly is your bloody area then?" She turned back to the Doctor. "Start working on some way out!"

"Rose…" He tried to offer some words of comfort, even as he became aware that his daughter was standing alone, her eyes far away, seemingly oblivious to the row erupting over her life. It was only when she spoke that he finally tore his eyes off Rose and onto her though.

"I'll do it."

There was a pause while everyone froze, their breaths held.

Janie said it again. "I'll do it."

Rose's looked from the Doctor to her daughter. "Janie, sweetheart, you don't have to, the Doctor will find a way out, it'll be fine, he'll fix it." She was talking like to a toddler.

"Mum, don't." Janie took a deep breath, and then shook her hair back off of her face. "I'll do it."

"Janie!"

"You heard Dad! There's no way out!" Janie's voice thundered round the TARDIS, silencing even Rose. "Nothing! Only this!" She nodded, her lips trembling suddenly. "I'll do it. Okay, Dad?" She fixed her eyes on him.

The Doctor had never felt so much love for any one person before in his life. He wanted to run forwards and gather her up in his arms. He wished he could tell her it wasn't necessary, that he'd find a way out. She deserved that as a reward. But he couldn't do that, he couldn't lie anymore.

"Yeah, Janie. That's fine."

Janie nodded and then slowly and carefully turned round and walked the long corridor down to her room. Only when she reached her room did she dare to let the tears fall down her face.

* * *

As the row between the Doctor and Rose escalated, the others managed to slip away. Even in the world of Torchwood, they'd entered a new reality, a more dangerous world. Owen disappeared into the belly of the TARDIS, alone. Gwen knew he needed someone to hold his hand. For whatever reason, Janie had become his world. If he'd ever needed a friend, it was now. But she was tired, so tired. The last few weeks and months had finally, after a long delay, worn her down. This was too much now. This wasn't the happy ending she'd believed in all along. Gwen had had enough. 

She'd wanted to be alone, but with every turn she took along the corridors, she was aware of Jack only a few paces behind her. It was hardly ESP; Jack Harkness was useless at stealth walking. She'd hoped he'd leave her be though.

She turned round quickly. "What do you want?" She'd never imagined she could be so bold with him.

He looked momentarily taken aback. "I thought… I thought you might want to talk."

Gwen struggled to keep her voice low and even. "About what, Jack?" The time for talking had long gone, he'd never been interested before. He'd just left her that morning, slipping away without a goodbye or even a good morning. He hadn't told her he was staying. She was past caring now.

"About…" Jack shrugged. "This. Everything."

"You mean you need to talk and I get to listen?" Gwen remarked dryly. "Just like usual."

"No, I…"

"Jack, just…" Gwen shook her head. "Give up. I can't do this, not now. Not ever." She wanted out. An idea popped into her head for the very first time, a solution to everything. Or at least a balm for the wounds that she'd inflicted upon herself in the last year or so. It was so unlike her to do something so rash, but it seemed the only way out. "I'm leaving Torchwood."

Jack's face suddenly lost its bewildered look and took on one of utter amazement. "What? Gwen, no!"

"Yes, Jack. I'm quitting. I can't do it anymore."

Jack's mouth hung open, his blue eyes huge in his paling face. "You need to think about this, you're just reacting to all of this-"

"No, I'm not, Jack!" Gwen's voice betrayed her fragile state of mind, and tears sprang into her eyes. "All of this never ends! It's just one thing after another, it never stops! Lisa and Suzie and the Weevils and Rhys and Bilis and – and – and _you_ and him, the other Jack… It doesn't stop, Jack, and it's never going to!" She tried to regain control of her thoughts and body. "I'll stay until after… until…" She gestured towards where they'd left Rose and the Doctor. "Until it's over. And then…"

"You're leaving." For one moment, Gwen thought Jack was going to step forwards and hold her and tell her everything she wanted to hear. He seemed so close to breaking point too. Then he pulled himself back and the mask fell across his face once again. "Right. Okay. You know what you'll have to do, with the-"

"Retcon, yeah, I know." Gwen nodded. All her memories would be wiped, it would be like Torchwood, and Jack and Owen had never existed. That was fine by her. She'd go back to being regular Gwen Cooper. No aliens. No killings. Just normality.

Jack nodded again. "Okay. Well. I'll sort it out." He waited for a second, before leaving her alone. Gwen let out a long breath and continued her journey to her room.

* * *

"There must be _something_ you can do!" Rose insisted for the thousandth time. 

"I've told you, there's nothing."

"But there's always something!" She cast about her for an idea. "Codes or delta waves or nanogenes or…" She shrugged.

"Telescopes with big diamonds?" The Doctor added. "Rose, I'm sorry, I am so so…"

"Don't say it!" Rose snapped. "Don't you dare say it!" She didn't want to hear what he'd said to everybody else when they'd lost out to something in the darkness. Because this wasn't over, not by a long chalk. "Janie is not doing it."

"There's no other way!" The Doctor knew Rose was dying inside. He was too. He'd only known Janie a few days and already she was the most precious thing in it, along with Jon. Why couldn't she understand that if there was any way, any escape route that meant that his little girl would end up safe and sound and back where she belonged, he'd take it.

"There must be!"

"There isn't!"

"How do you know? Have you even tried?" Rose demanded. "What makes you so sure about this legend anyway?" Her eyes widened. "The Daleks! They told you something, didn't they?" He nodded. "Well what are you believing them for, you know they'd say anything to frighten you away!"

"It wasn't just the Daleks. I checked things out. The TARDIS looked it all up." He looked at Rose wearily. "It's real, Rose. Everything is true. Without Janie… that's it, the end."

"So?" In a word, Rose had transported him back to that beach that last time.

_"Can't you come through properly?" The wind tore half her words away, but he knew what she was asking. He'd known everything she'd want to know._

_"The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse." Didn't she know that if he could come through to her, he already would have? He wouldn't be wasting time on this stupid image idea. He'd already have thrown his arms round her._

_"So?"_

He smiled now, and caught her eye. "Rose, I haven't fought this long just to let that happen. Neither of us have."

Rose nodded. "Okay. So, the universe needs saving. Then save it! There must be a way without…" Without her little girl being sacrificed. "Is there any guarantee it would even work?" She couldn't believe that Janie held the key to saving the universe. Then again, once upon a time, Rose herself had held the power in her hands. Like mother like daughter.

"Oh it would work alright." He sounded sure enough, but she caught the ironic tone in his voice.

"But?"

Trust Rose to see through all his bravado. He knew if he admitted the flipside of the coin then it would only make her more certain that this was not happening.

"It'll save the universe… only…"

"What?"

"Well, the Daleks are sort of planning a takeover bid." The Doctor rubbed his neck awkwardly, trying to play it down, and knowing he was failing.

"You what?" Rose's jaw dropped.

"Now, just wait a minute…"

"You want me to let these… _things_, sacrifice my daughter just so the _Daleks_ can take over the universe?"

"Not exactly."

"No way! No bloody way!"

"Rose!"

"Doctor!" Rose faced him down. "How many times have we battled those things? And now you just want to hand them the universe on a plate?"

"No!" The Doctor ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. "That's not what I'm saying!"

"Well that's what it sounds like!"

"Rose!" The Doctor grabbed her hand suddenly, partly to prevent her from using it as a weapon, but mostly because he wanted to hold onto something. "Listen. I want Janie to be safe. Of course I do. But the legend needs her. If she fulfills the legend, yes, the Daleks might take over. But we can deal with that, I can save the universe from that. If she doesn't fulfill the legend… there won't be anything left to save."

* * *

Janie was lying on her bed when Jon walked into her room. Watching TV. He wondered briefly where she'd gained them from, but Janie had always been good at acquiring things that weren't hers. He wasn't able to count how many of his CDs had migrated into her room, supposedly of their own accord, and he was certain than more than half her wardrobe consisted of clothes from her various "best friends". She was flipping through channels now, pulling an exasperated face. 

"You know, you'd think an alien spaceship would be able to pick more stuff up wouldn't you? Better stuff." She wrinkled her nose up as she flipped onto a cooking channel where they were demonstrating how to gut fish. "Ewww!"

Jon leaned over and turned the television off.

"Hey!" Janie glared at her brother furiously. "What are you doing?"

"Haven't you got more important things to worry about than the television?" Jon demanded.

Janie folded her arms sulkily. "Like what?"

Jon stared at his sister incredulously. "Janie, were you even listening to what was said out there? What you've agreed to do?" It would be just like her to only have half listened and to agree to something with only half the facts. He wished that was it, because then they could call this whole thing off. Surely if Janie knew the whole truth, she would back out and stop breaking their mum's heart.

"Of course I was." Janie rolled her eyes. "You don't have to go on about it."

"Janie!"

"What?"

Sometimes Jon could barely believe that they shared the same parents, let alone were twins. Janie was always off in another world somewhere. "Janie, if you go through with this, you're going to-"

"I know!"

"Then how can you be so calm about it?"

Janie's eyes flickered up to meet her brother's. "You think I'm being calm?" She shook her head. "Jon, I'm terrified!"

"Then why-?"

"What good will it do to rant and rave about it?" Janie demanded. "How will that help me or Mum or Dad or anyone? There isn't any other way out."

"There's me."

Janie looked at him stunned.

"I'm a Time Lord too. The last one, you're a Lady, you-"

"Oh, Jon, don't be stupid!"

"I'm not being stupid! I'm trying to help!"

"Well don't!" Janie tried to control herself. "You can't."

"But how do you know?"

"I just do!"

"But there must be some way…" Jon tailed off. He looked at his sister and saw a smile flicker across her face. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, go on, what is it?"

Janie sighed. "We sound just like Mum and Dad. Fighting over this."

Jon couldn't help smiling back. "Who do you want to be?"

Janie shrugged. "Either. Neither. Both." She hugged her knees up to her chest. "I know you all think I'm mad, agreeing to this, but I know it's the right thing to do."

"How?"

"I've seen it all in my head." Janie looked at her brother. "Haven't you?"

"Seen what?"

"Mum and Dad. How they got separated." It had been like a recurring dream all these years, nothing but a series of images and sounds which had haunted her entire life. She'd never been able to make out much, never quite been able to distinguish who it was or what was happening. But she knew now. The dream had come into focus in the last few days, and she knew. "Dad lost Mum by fighting for the universe. They risked everything for this stupid world." She shook her head. "If they hadn't if they'd just left it… maybe they could have stayed together."

"So we'd have a dad. So what?"

Janie had always been the more romantic one out of the two of them. Jon was hopeless with things like this. "So… oh, Jon, you've seen the way they look at each other. Even when they think no one's looking, even though they're trying to hide it. They're in love with each other still." It had been strange to see those looks pass between her parents; strange, but comforting.

Jon nodded slowly, remembering that snow swept day he'd seen them on. "Yeah."

"So they must have thought it was worth it. What they had. It was worth risking for the sake of the universe." Janie took a deep breath. "So I'm not going to let them down. I'm not going to let all that go to waste."

Jon sat down on the bed heavily. "Wow. That's pretty profound for you, sis."

"I know." Janie grinned weakly. "Look at me go." She played with the tattered bottoms of her jeans. "So do you understand, Jon?"

He nodded.

"Good. I want you to understand. More than anyone." Janie reached out a hand to him. "So will you help me? Mum's not going to make this easy."

Jon hated siding against his mother; he knew now what Rose had gone through all those years, how she'd struggled on even though her heart was breaking. They'd put her through some bad times. But he knew Janie was right.

"Yeah. I'll help you."

The door to the room burst open. Rose came in.

"Come on."

Jon frowned. "Where are we going? Mum, where are we going?" he repeated himself as Rose began picking up bits and pieces off the floor.

"How do you manage to make such a mess everywhere, Janie?" Rose scolded her, throwing the clothes into a bag. "Jon, go and pack your stuff up."

"But why?" Janie looked from Jon to Rose, feeling her stomach sink. She knew why her mum was behaving like this.

"We're going home." Rose didn't pause in her mission. "So go on!" She gestured towards the door.

Jon stood up, then hesitated. He exchanged glances with his sister.

"Mum, we can't just leave." Janie voiced both their thoughts. "What about-?"

"The Doctor's going to take us home now."

"And?"

"And what?" Rose looked at her children like they'd gone insane. "We're going home."

"But the legend… Mum, don't ignore me!" Janie snapped as Rose began tidying up again. "Mum, if we go home, this universe is going to die!"

"Not our problem."

"Mum!"

"Janie, are you going to sit there arguing all day or are you going to help me pack your stuff up?"

Janie looked at her mum incredulously. "No! Cause we're not going anywhere! Mum, these people here, they need me, they need for this universe to be alright! Don't you get that? We can't just abandon them, not when they need us!" She got out of bed. "So you can go home if you like. But I'm staying here, to do what I said I'd do."

* * *

The Doctor couldn't remember feeling so tired before in his life. He couldn't remember feeling so torn in a thousand directions before either. This was the definition of being caught between a rock and a hard place, having to decide between the universe and his daughter. And his daughter and the love of his life. 

Trust Rose to find the one way out of all this. He'd insisted there was no way, but she'd found it. It wasn't such a huge leap of the imagination really, all it took was a bit of a think and she came up with it. The one thing that would work, sort of.

"Take us home."

Three short words which were the key to solving her problems. He wished he could be as cheerful about it as that. If he sent Rose and the kids home, they'd be fine. Out of reach of the aliens, he could seal the cracks up again, for good this time. When this universe caved in, they'd all be safe, protected from the fall-out. The perfect solution.

Only this universe would die. He couldn't move everyone across, it didn't work that way. There wouldn't be time, and even if he did, the sheer volume of people moving would mean that sealing the void would be impossible. They'd all escape, for a few brief moments, before the dying universe took the living one down with it.

So now he had a choice. Several of them in fact. Save the universe, or let it end. Make Rose happy or break her heart. Save Janie or let her die.

"What are you going to do?"

He turned to look at Abby. He'd forgotten about her, hiding in the shadows. He didn't know how much of the argument between him and Rose she'd heard, but he'd guessed she knew enough of it. Enough to know he had decisions to make.

"I don't know." He knew what he should do, and he knew what he wanted to do. The only problem was, they kept switching places his head, tangling together until he didn't know right from wrong. "What do you think I should do?"

Abby shrugged. "I don't know. I'm no Time Lord. But," she added, as his shoulders slumped, "Janie is. She said she wanted to do it."

The Doctor sighed. "Yeah, I know. But she's just a kid, she doesn't know what she's saying."

"She's eighteen. And she's seen more than most kids her age," Abby pointed out. "I think she knows her own mind, Doctor."

The Doctor nodded grimly. "Right. So you're saying I should keep them here? Let the Legend play out the way it's supposed to. Who am I to argue with history, eh?"

"Usually the first in line," Abby joked, unwittingly repeating what Rose had said so long ago on a very different occasion. _Everybody lives_. Not this time.

The Doctor forced a smile. "True." He still lingered uneasily though, not willing to begin pulling levers and setting the TARDIS in motion.

"If you wanted more time to decide…" Abby tailed off and the Doctor raised his eyebrows. "We could go to my dad's farm. It's out of the way. Nowhere near a Rift as far as I know. You could have some time to figure things out. Or… whatever."

The Doctor knew what she was about to say. _Time to say goodbye_. Out in the country for a few days, together for the first and last time.

"Thanks. Sounds good."


	54. Chapter 53

**Yay for the new series! Martha is allowed, I've decided... he still looks so sad, he needs someone. I'm falling hopelessly in love with David Tennant again though... will I never learn?! Fantastic new trailer on the BBC website btw, for the whole series.**

**I love this chapter. It slows the pace down again a bit but I got a chance to muddle some characters together and let them talk. I love Abby more with each thing I write about her. And you might be interested to know that in this chapter, the Doctor will _finally_ become Doctory again. I can't help thinking he's slipped out of character in recent chapters, but I think by the end of this one he's back on track.**

**Only have the last chapter and the epilogue left to write now, though the penultimate chapter needs tweaking.**

**

* * *

**It was like she'd never been gone. Abby looked around the farmyard and was taken back months and years. For as long as she could remember, the farm had looked like this, slightly ramshackle but industrious enough. There were two cats basking themselves in the very last of the summer's rays; rain was forecast for the end of this week, reminding them that autumn had finally come. Things were moving on in the endless cycle. And Abby had come back home. 

The farmyard was empty of people, but she wouldn't have expected anything different. Glancing at her watch, she saw it had just gone seven in the morning. The cows would be being driven back out to pasture after their morning milking. The occasional gust of wind brought her the sounds of sheep and the odd bark. Everyone must be out. She was glad. She didn't want to arrive home whilst all the men who worked on the farm were hanging around. Being here at all was hard enough.

The front door to the farmhouse wasn't locked and came open easily as Abby pushed it. Immediately she found herself being knocked backwards as a whirlwind of fur barrelled into her. An elderly but clearly excited Border Collie planted his paws on her thighs, his tail lashing and his tongue hanging out.

"Gyp, what are you doing in the house?" Abby ruffled his ears before bidding him get down. Gyp had been the main herding dog on the farm when she was about twelve or thirteen. Her dad had said he'd never met a more intelligent dog than him. Out of all the dogs Abby had seen come and go over the years, Gyp was the only one her father had ever had much time for. Even so, not even Gyp was usually allowed in the house, much to the younger Abby's disappointment.

As she walked into the house, with Gyp eagerly pottering backwards and forwards between her and the kitchen, she didn't see anything different from the last time she'd been here. Things were maybe a little more untidy, but the place was clean. Ever since she could remember, Mrs. Jones had come up to the old house to have a general tidy-up and clean once a week. When Abby had lived there, she'd helped out in between times, putting away her father's numerous stained and smelly old jackets and wiping up his dirty footprints. The place didn't look too bad, considering.

Gyp barked suddenly, making Abby jump. She jumped again when she heard a voice, with a thick Welsh accent.

"What's up with you?"

Abby froze as she saw a shadow creep up the wall of the hall and heavy footsteps. Then her dad was standing in the kitchen doorway, with Gyp looking up at him adoringly.

"Hi Dad." Abby attempted a half-wave.

David Dean looked taken aback for a second, but surprises never affected him that much anymore. His whole life had been a series of surprises and shocks. Nothing managed to shock him anymore.

"Abby." He looked his daughter up and down. Then he turned round and headed back into the kitchen. Without a word being spoken, Abby knew that was his way of telling her to follow him.

In silence, David boiled a kettle on the old range cooker, the whistling filling the room along with the steam. Without asking, he placed a mug of tea in front of Abby on the scratched wooden table, avoiding the piles of paper with lists of figures on it.

Abby had to break the threatening silence. "Gyp's inside."

"Yes."

The dog thrust his head into her lap and she felt obliged to stroke his head. Time was she'd have been told off severely for petting a farm animal. Now her dad didn't say anything. Abby had already noted the wicker basket pushed into a corner; Gyp was obviously a permanent house guest these days.

"Abby, where have you been?"

Abby concentrated on the markings on Gyp's head and said nothing.

"I've had the university on the phone ten times. And the police."

Abby's head shot up. "What? Why?" As far as she knew she hadn't done anything illegal recently. Not even shoplifting.

"Abby, you haven't been to lectures for six months. None of your friends have heard from you in five." David looked at his daughter in disbelief. "Everybody thought something had happened to you. Why don't you ever call? I got you that mobile so you could keep in touch."

Abby shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't feel like that long since I last spoke to you." She didn't bother reminding him that any time she did call him, he was always either not in the house, too busy to talk or only managed a few grunts.

"Seven months, Abby!"

It definitely didn't feel that long. Abby looked away guiltily. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Why haven't you been to university?"

Abby shrugged again.

David Dean sat down at the table heavily and sighed. It wasn't the first time the two of them had sat down around this table in relative silence. The whole of Abby's teenage years seemed to have been spent like this. Apart from those few months after she'd gone AWOL the last time. He'd been at the end of his tether with her, nearly ready to chuck her out and let her fend for herself. Stealing the Landrover and crashing it into the barn, nearly hitting Ben, one of the farmhands, had been the last straw. Then she'd disappeared, literally vanished into thin air. He'd known it was wrong, but David had never called the police. He was too tired of fighting with his daughter; if she'd run away, maybe she'd be happier. Maybe they'd both be happier. Weeks turned into months and then one day she wandered back into the farmhouse again, rather like today. And she was a different girl, all smiles and hugs. She seemed to have grown up and set about getting her life back into order. She'd taken a fast-track A level course and come out with the top grades, before heading down to Cardiff to study Geography. He'd thought she was alright. Then he'd stopped hearing from her; she'd never been a regular caller, just once a fortnight or so, but when he got a call from the university, asking if he knew his daughter had vacated her halls of residence and hadn't attended a lecture in three weeks, it had all started unraveling again. Then the police phoned, saying several of Abigail Dean's friends were concerned for her whereabouts, did he know where she was? It was all David could do not to say "She's done it before. Forget about her." And now she was back again, the same cagey sulky girl from years ago.

"It's not cheap, you know. These course fees. It's something I could do without paying, especially if you're not even going to go."

"I'm sorry, I'll pay you back."

"With what? Have you got a job?"

Abby shrugged again. She'd had a few cash in hand jobs in bars and cafes, but all that money had immediately gone on the rent of her pokey one-bedroom flat. Since meeting the Doctor, she hadn't had any money coming in at all. She hadn't even paid her last month's rent. It was just as well she'd given a false name to the landlord.

"You must know if you have a job or not!"

"No, okay, I don't. Happy now?" Abby snarled, hating herself even as she spoke.

David ran a hand over his head. "Abby, I'm not angry. I just don't understand. I thought you liked university."

"It's okay." Again, Abby shrugged.

"Then why haven't you been going? Abby, love, if you wanted to leave, you only had to say so and…"

"And what? I could have come back _here_?" Abby looked around. "And lived back here with you and worked on the farm. No thanks."

David let the insult stand. "Not necessarily. But would that be such a bad thing?" Abby gave him a withering look. "At least it's honest." He couldn't count the number of times he'd been called down to the local police station to collect her. She was lucky he'd known the local sergeant since his school days, and that everyone in the local area took pity on the Dean family ("The mother just upped and left when she was a little girl. Tragic.")

He tried again. "But where have you been?"

"Here and there."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't understand!"

"Try me."

Abby looked at her dad. He'd lived his whole life on this farm, it had belonged to his father before him. He'd never understand what had happened to her. _I've been time-travelling with a nine-hundred year-old alien and his children from another universe. One of them's about to be sacrificed for the good of humanity._

When she didn't reply, David sighed again. "How long are you staying for?"

Abby shrugged.

"You are staying though?"

She half-shrugged, half-nodded.

"Okay. Well, you know where your room is. And the bed-linen." David stood up and finished the rest of his tea. "I'm heading out to the fields, see how the sheep are doing. What are you going to do?" He looked around. "You haven't brought anything with you?"

"I need to go and get it. I… left it somewhere."

David nodded. "Okay. I'll see you for dinner then?"

Abby nodded.

* * *

Rose was finding life on board the TARDIS very quiet. She wasn't talking to the Doctor, furious with him for refusing to take them all home. More than furious; she hated him. Then on the other side, Janie wasn't talking to her. Every time Rose walked into the room, Janie held up a hand. 

"Mum, don't."

Rose couldn't help it though. Each time she saw her daughter, she knew with an even fiercer stab of certainty, that she couldn't let her go without a fight. Not Janie. Not now. Those two kids had been her life for eighteen years, she loved them like she'd never believed possible. They'd dragged her through the bad times and shared the good times. She knew now exactly why her mum had always flung her arms around her with such force whenever she returned home to visit. And why Jackie had so defiantly insisted that Rose wasn't staying behind alone that final time.

_Rose stared at the Doctor in disbelief. "I'm supposed to go?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"To another world and then it gets sealed off?"_

_"Yeah." He moved away and began fiddling with another computer. He always had to play with something when they needed to talk about the big things. She knew him so well._

_"Forever?" She laughed. "Well that's not gonna happen."_

_There was a crash outside. What it was she never knew, whether Cyberman or Dalek-induced. The building shook with the impact._

_Pete didn't wait another second, and for a moment, Rose wondered why she'd ever wanted her daddy back. "We haven't got time to argue. The plan works, we go in. You too. All of us."_

_"No, I'm not leaving it!" Rose shouted. How could he ever consider sending her away like this? Did he really think she'd just lie down and take it? Didn't he know her better than that? Didn't he love her more than that?_

_Then Jackie spoke up. "I'm not going without her."_

_Pete looked enraged. "Oh my God, we're going!"_

_Jackie rounded on her 'husband' angrily. "I've had twenty years without you, so button it!"_

_Rose turned her mum round to face her. "You've got to."_

_"Well that's tough!"_

Rose felt the same weight of emotions now. And she had the Tyler gob.

"Janie, please, just listen to me."

"No, Mum!" Janie glowered at her. "I've listened and listened and you just don't get it!"

"Janie, I know you think you're doing the right thing…"

"I _am_ doing the right thing! The only thing!"

"But I don't think you know what you're doing!"

"I'm sacrificing myself! That clear enough?" Janie lowered her voice slightly. "Mum, I've never been any good at anything. I'm not going to go to university or make lots of money or find a cure for cancer or anything. That's not me, it's Jon. But this I can do, and I can do it well."

She reminded Rose of another Tyler, from long ago. Someone else willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the whole universe.

_Pete held her at arms length. "I never read you those bedtime stories," he said, remembering the lies Rose had told him earlier. "I never took you on those picnics. I was never there for you."_

_Rose sniffed, unable to hold back tears anymore, and she spoke through sobs. "You would've have been."_

_Somehow, Pete couldn't imagine he would have been. "But I can do this for you. I can be a proper dad to you now."_

"Sweetheart, you don't have to prove yourself to me," Rose said softly, wanting to reach out and stroke Janie's hair, but knowing her daughter would shy away before she got close. "You don't have to do this."

"But I do, Mum!" Janie looked exasperated. "You and Dad… you fought for all this, you… you lost each other, you risked it all. Dad still does, every day." She saw her mum look annoyed. "And he hasn't been telling me all of this, Mum, I just know it. I've caused him so much trouble. He does it all alone, Mum. But now I can help him."

Rose stared at her daughter. How had she known? It was like seeing herself all those years ago, the same argument, the same desire. Just to stay.

_Rose stepped away from her mum, unable to believe this was it. Really the end this time. She'd never loved her mum more, but she couldn't go with her. Just couldn't. "Mum…" The computer interrupted her, only giving her more of a chance to build up burning tears behind her eyes. "I've had a life with you for nineteen years. But then I met the Doctor and… all the things I've seen him do for me. For you. For all of us. For… the whole stupid planet and all the planets out there. He does it alone, Mum. But not anymore. Cause now he's got me."_

Janie looked at her mum. "I knew you wouldn't understand. I'm sorry, Mum. But I've got to do this." She pushed past her mum and headed outside, before Rose could call her back. Because, finally, she thought she did understand her daughter.

* * *

Whilst Owen preferred staying inside ("I bloody hate the countryside"), Jack found it nice to be able to enjoy some nature for once. This was a nice place that Abby's dad had, a proper old farm. Probably a complete failure as a business but that wasn't Jack's problem. It was at least better to be out here than in the TARDIS. Jack wondered if it would ever become the place he'd loved once upon a time ever again. In his eyes, it had changed forever. 

He'd intended to slip outside for a bit. Maybe take a walk and try and escape his thoughts. Like that would ever happen. Instead, he found himself heading over to the wall Janie was perched on, smoke curling up from the lit cigarette in her hand. She seemed oblivious to his existence until his shadow fell across her, when she hastily hid the cigarette, looking guilty.

He smiled. "Relax. I won't tell your mum."

Janie shook her hair defiantly. "Don't care if you do. Not going to make much difference to me, is it? Not where I'm going."

Jack sat next to her on the wall. He gestured towards the packet of cigarettes and the lighter beside her. "May I?"

Janie handed them over. "I didn't know you smoked."

"Oh, you don't live in 1941 for any length of time without picking up a few bad habits," Jack said glibly before lighting up and taking a long drag. He noticed Janie stiffen as he mentioned that year. "Of course, that's where you and me are the same."

"What, we've both lived in 1941?"

"We don't have anything to lose." Jack tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette. He gave her a jaunty grin. "The man who can't die and the girl who's going to die anyway. What a pair."

"I wish Mum could be so straightforward as you."

Even though he knew she was wrong, Jack still couldn't hear a bad word said against Rose. "The difference is, I'm not your mum," he pointed out. "And you're not my little girl. It would be a whole other story if you were."

"Like?" Janie challenged him teasingly.

"Like you'd have put that out five minutes ago." Jack gestured to where she was just stubbing the cigarette out and then reaching for another. "And you definitely wouldn't be lighting another one."

"Hypocrite."

"Teenager."

Janie grinned.

Jack exhaled thoughtfully. "Don't be so hard on your mum. She's having a hard time."

"Yeah, like I'm not," Janie pointed out. "She just doesn't understand. She keeps thinking I'm doing it to prove a point."

"Are you?" Jack raised his eyebrows. Janie hesitated. "You wouldn't be the first person to do something like this to prove a point." Owen's taking on the Weevils sprang to mind.

"Maybe a bit," Janie agreed. "But mainly because… I have to. You know?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I know. I died saving the world once." He grinned as Janie practically gave herself whiplash as she turned to look at him. "What? Hasn't everybody done that at least once?"

Janie shook her head. "I don't know… every time I have a conversation with anyone round here it just goes mental. With Dad. And Owen. Now you. I used to be normal, you know."

"We all did. Once." Jack shrugged. "But normal's over-rated, you'd hate it. Your mum did."

"You wouldn't think so, the way she's behaving."

Jack looked across at Janie. He knew that, technically, if Rose hadn't told Janie about the Gamestation, it wasn't really his place to do it. But maybe it was the one thing that would make Janie understand her mother.

"Your mum risked her life for the universe once."

Janie did a double-take. "Sorry?"

"You heard."

"But… how? When?" It was such a far cry from the mum she knew, that she could only assume Jack had got it wrong.

"A long time ago. When I used to travel with the Doctor and her." Jack immediately decided not to mention how Rose had transformed him. Or how the Doctor had transformed himself. "We got trapped on this spacestation. The Daleks – those things from the other day – they had us surrounded. No way out. The Doctor sent your mum home."

"Like she wants to do now."

"Exactly. Only she came back. She came back and she saved us all. Destroyed the Daleks. Rescued the Doctor. Saved me. All without any thought for her own life."

Janie looked at him. "Mum did that?"

"Yep. Don't believe me?"

"Yeah, it's just…" Janie shook her head in bewilderment. "Mum's never said."

"She doesn't like to brag."

"But saving the universe…" Janie was still awe-struck. "If that were me, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops."

"Only you're not, are you?" Jack pointed out gently. "Not that different from your mum after all."

Janie smiled. "I guess not." She took a long drag on her cigarette. Then she turned back to Jack. "Who _are_ you?"

Jack had been expecting this ever since he heard about Janie's trip to 1941. The whole Legend stuff had, quite rightly, absorbed Janie for a time, but he'd known she'd ask sooner or later. Even so, he wasn't really ready with an answer.

"Captain Jack Harkness."

"No you're not."

"What's in a name?" Jack shrugged.

"You stole a dead man's name."

Jack nodded, conceding the accusation. "I know. But you've got to realize, Janie, I didn't _know_ him when I chose the name. I just needed something to get me in, disguise me. I didn't know who he was."

"He was lovely."

"I know that now." Jack nodded. Janie looked at him. "I've met him since. I sort of… fell through time. Bumped into him. The night before he died."

Janie's eyes widened. "And you didn't tell him? You didn't even try and save him?"

"I couldn't! You can't stop the course of time like that, that's not how things work." Jack shook his head, and remembered how much he'd wanted to tell Jack the truth, and yet known he couldn't. "It would have changed the course of history."

Janie didn't reply immediately. Finally she said, "He didn't deserve to die. He was a lovely man."

"I know. The best."

"He looked after me."

Jack smiled. "Sounds like the kind of thing he'd do."

"They were all so nice. Jimmy and Maggie too. And then I just… left. Without saying anything."

"That kind of thing happened all the time in the war. They'd understand."

Janie nodded. "I just wish…"

"What?"

"I wish I knew what happened to them."

Jack gently slid his hand over hers and squeezed it. "Tell you what. When all this is over, we'll find out what happened to them. What?" he asked, as a sad smile took over Janie's face and her eyes filled with tears.

"You've forgotten, haven't you?" Janie blinked. "When 'all this is over', I won't be here."

Jack felt the words hit him like a bullet, and he knew what bullets felt like. He had forgotten. He couldn't believe she was telling the truth. This beautiful young lively girl… in a few days she'd be like the real Jack.

He was about to say something when Janie interrupted him. "Look, there's Abby." She was right, there was Abby, ambling across the field, her arms folded, her amber hair streaming out behind her. It was clearly an end to that conversation as Janie lit another cigarette and turned her attention to examining her nails.

* * *

Rose had wandered the corridors of the TARDIS ever since Janie had walked away. She couldn't settle anywhere. Everything she looked at here, everything she did, reminded her of the old days, before everything became complicated. Actually, things had always been complicated. Uncomplicated time traveling was sort of a contradiction in terms. But now… things were harder than she could ever have imagined. 

The place hadn't changed much she noticed, as she wandered from room to room, the TARDIS opening doors without questions. If she hadn't been so distracted, Rose would have wondered why the timeship was being quite so nice and co-operative. In the past, whilst she was sure that she could have been treated worse (Mickey, for instance, had always rubbed the old girl up the wrong way), barely a day had gone by without an argument ensuing between the two of them. Rose supposed it was the age old problem; one man, two women. There was only so much of the Doctor to go round, and she couldn't blame the TARDIS for not wanting to give up so easily.

As it was, when the door to a room Rose hadn't even thought about going into opened, she didn't think twice about going in. Immediately, she realized she'd made a mistake.

"Sorry!"

Abby looked up from where she was lying on her bed, reading a book. She looked as startled as Rose at first, but recovered much quicker.

Rose, however, continued in her flustered manner. "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in on you like that, I just… the door came open and…"

Abby smiled. "Is she playing tricks on you too?"

Rose smiled back. "Yeah, you could say that. Sorry."

"It's nice to know I'm not the only one." Abby sat up. "I always imagined the old girl would bend over backwards for you, the way the Doctor used to talk."

Rose blushed. "Nope. She still liked to try it on at every given opportunity."

"And I thought it was just me she hated!" Abby grinned.

There was an awkward silence. Neither of them could quite see what else they had to talk about. They seemed so different.

"What's your book?"

"This? Oh, just some book." Abby shrugged and put it down. Not before Rose had seen the title on the front cover. _Rebecca_. Abby noticed her eyes following it. "Have you read it?"

"I've seen the film," Rose offered. "Twice. I'm not much of a reader."

"No, I never used to be," Abby agreed.

The silence came down again. Rose wished she could leave, and Abby wanted her to go. And yet at the same time they felt some weird sort of pull to stay near each other. Like they were supposed to talk.

"So… you're at university?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Rose regretted them. It made her sound like such an old woman. Then again, in Abby's eyes she probably seemed like one. A sudden thought struck her, and before Abby could answer her first question, she spoke again. "How old are you?"

Abby frowned. "Twenty. Why?"

Rose smiled wryly but didn't reply immediately.

"Why did you ask?" Abby wasn't cross. Usually, random questions like that from adults made her irrationally annoyed; it reminded her too much of her dad's constant questioning of her behaviour and that made a thousand negative emotions rise up in her. But this time, she wasn't annoyed, just curious as to why Rose wanted to know.

"Just wondering. What year were you born?"

Abby looked at her, puzzled. "Nineteen eighty-nine, why?"

Rose nodded. "I was born in nineteen eighty-seven."

Abby had known that Rose's timeline was a mess, but this was still a bit of a shock. This woman standing in front of her…

"I'm only two years older than you really. In your time." Rose shook her head. "But I'm practically old enough to be your mum."

They both stared at each other for a few seconds, before shuddering.

"Sorry, that's a bit weird!" Abby laughed.

Rose even managed a small giggle. "What about me? You could almost be my best friend, and instead you're hanging out with my kids!"

They both laughed. What else was there to do in such a bizarre situation?

"So what's being twenty like these days? Would I have liked it?"

Abby shrugged. "It's alright. I guess."

Rose hesitated before saying, "You don't sound particularly sure."

Abby threw her hair back and fixed a bright smile on her face. "It's great!"

Rose sat down on the bed without an invitation. She knew that, strictly speaking, that was a bad move; Janie would have lashed out by now if she didn't want her there. But there seemed to be an unspoken agreement in the room; no matter what either of them did, nothing would be wrong at this moment in time.

"How did you meet the Doctor?" She'd been dying to ask that since she met the girl who came after her. She supposed it was natural for any of his companions to want to know that about the others. Another shiver shot through her spine; she was about the same age as Sarah-Jane had been when she'd met her all that time ago.

"He just sort of… turned up one day. He said he was tracking something." Abby shrugged. "I don't know, he never really said. Whatever it was, it wasn't important."

"How do you know that?"

Abby snorted. "As soon as I'd agreed to go with him, we were off. No more tracking anything down." She shook her head. "I think he was just lonely. Martha had just left him…"

"Martha?" Rose was unable to keep the tinge of jealousy out of her voice. Abby had clocked it though.

"The one after you. She didn't last long." Abby could see Rose still looked upset and tried to find some words to comfort her. "He wasn't really feeling himself back then. He was finding it all a bit hard, I think. After…" She tailed off. "Well, you know. He was just looking for some company."

"Right, yeah." Rose nodded, embarrassed to have been so obvious in her envy of these other girls. The ones who got to stay with him. Even though she knew there had been people after her, she still couldn't help feeling like… well, like he'd cheated on her in some way. She supposed it was only how Sarah-Jane had felt about her. Knowing that didn't make it any easier though.

Abby bit her lip. She didn't want to admit what she was about to say. She'd barely even admitted it to herself, she really didn't want to share it with anyone else. Not that Rose was just "anyone else". She was probably the only person she'd ever meet who would understand exactly what she'd seen and what this was all like. She didn't expect she'd ever meet Martha; she didn't want to. Anyone who could just walk out on the Doctor so coolly and calmly like that, leaving him broken and alone… Abby didn't want to speak to them. In a way, she supposed she'd done the same… maybe that was why she didn't want to see Martha and why she couldn't look herself in the eye anymore.

This secret had been burning away on the inside of her for so long though. Throughout it all. Being with the Doctor. Leaving him. Trying to gain a control on her life again; she'd tried, she really had. She'd promised him she'd be okay, she had to at least try and uphold that promise. It had all been much harder than she could ever have imagined though. Who would have thought that Abby Dean, infamous in her own small part of Wales for being the girl who really couldn't give a damn, would have found it impossible to put one short month out of her mind? She'd tried to justify her preoccupation with it a thousand times in a thousand ways. It had all just been a huge reminder of when her mum had left when she was only five. She'd done the exact same thing to her dad, and she supposed that maybe… maybe she'd thought if she could have stayed with the Doctor, he would have one day taken her to find her mum in the way her dad never had. Her dad had never mentioned her mum since the day she'd left, apart from in very heated arguments when he'd lash out at her and declare, "You're just like your bloody mother!" That was the reason she was so completely absorbed in the powers the Doctor had held; even before he'd told her the story of Rose meeting her long-dead father, she'd realized he could take her to her mum. When she left, it had been an end to that dream.

Or that's what she told herself most of the time.

But the real reason was one she'd never spoken aloud to anyone. It was one she'd locked away deep down, scared to admit to it. The truth was she loved the Doctor more than she could even begin to comprehend. She'd berated herself for it long enough; it was so cliché. Man comes along in a spaceship and whisks away lonely girl and shows her the universe. It was like one of those awful made-for-TV movies. Only one thing made it different, and it was that which made it all the worse for Abby; the Doctor didn't feel the same, and never would, and she knew it. Had known it before she'd begun falling for him.

But maybe it was time she shared something of herself with someone. God only knew that keeping it all inside for so long had never helped her.

At the last moment her courage failed her.

"He used to talk about you. All the time."

Rose turned to look at the other girl. "Really?"

Abby nodded, unable to keep a resentful smile off her face. "He talked about you more than anything else. What I don't know about you isn't worth knowing."

Rose caught the look. Poor kid. Without being told, she knew how Abby felt about the Doctor; it had been obvious from the start. She wouldn't have come back on board for any reason. And it was just like the Doctor not to notice.

"You seem to be a bit of a favourite with him too," she said now, trying to cheer her up. "He doesn't often go back for anyone."

"It was an accident. Wrong place wrong time." Abby shrugged. "I wasn't doing anything."

"I thought you were at university."

Abby met Rose's eye guiltily and gave a small shake of her head. "Don't tell him!" She blushed as Rose looked at her quizzically. "It's just… I promised him I'd be okay when I went back home. He seemed to need that boost. After losing you. He seemed to need to know someone would be alright."

At that moment, Rose fell in love with this girl, practically the same age as her daughter. She seemed so wild and lost; she reminded her of herself at her age. She was so desperate to make the Doctor happy, at the risk of her own happiness it seemed. "And you thought that person had to be you?"

Abby shrugged. "There wasn't anybody else."

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Okay."

Abby gave the question some thought. Finally she answered with a small shake of her head. It was the most honest answer she'd given in her life. "No. I don't think I am."

* * *

Leaving Abby to continue reading her book, Rose found her way back to her daughter's room. Abby had mentioned seeing Janie sitting on a wall outside with Jack. Rose had grimaced initially; Jack and a young pretty girl was never a good combination. But he'd changed lately. He was more like to be giving her big brotherly advice than anything. Hopefully telling her that her mum really did love her. She wondered if that would be too much to ask of her old friend, to put in a good word with her own daughter. Maybe that was crossing the line a little too much. 

The TARDIS wasn't quite so obliging with doors now, like she was trying to prevent Rose getting back to her daughter. It wouldn't have surprised Rose at all if it was Janie's thoughts that were directing this blatant anti-Rose fest. The TARDIS always had sided with Time Lords against mere mortals. She supposed it was only to be expected.

"I'm not going to have another row, come on, open up," Rose muttered, not even sure if this was the right door. She leaned against it as it didn't move after a slight push. Then, without warning, it gave way and she stumbled back into her daughter's bedroom.

Janie had been sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, but now she scrambled up, trying to look busy.

"Mum, don't start." She sounded tired and there was a hint of tears in her voice. She kept her back to her mum. "You can't stop me."

"I know." Rose finally admitted it. "I know, sweetheart. I'm not even going to try…" She tailed off as she caught sight of Janie's face in a mirror. Mascara was leaking down her face and her skin was red and blotchy. "Oh, Janie, what's wrong?" That was probably a stupid question, but she didn't care; it was pure instinct as she immediately moved to put her arms around her daughter.

"Darling, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to." Technically she was going against what she'd just said she wouldn't do, but if Janie was feeling pressurized… well, it was Rose's job to let her know that was a get-out clause. "No one will think any the less of you for it, it won't be a problem."

"It's not that," Janie sniffed. "It's…"

"What is it?" Rose stroked her long dark hair. "You can tell me."

"I… I don't have anything to wear!" Janie burst into fresh sobs, but her face coloured up in embarrassment this time. She knew how stupid it sounded; here she was, about to sacrifice herself to save the universe, and she was crying over a lack of clothes.

Rose was stunned for a second and then couldn't help smiling. "Oh, Janie. You'll never change, will you? You've always been obsessed with clothes." She could remember the first party dress her daughter had ever had and how she'd insisted on wearing it all day before her party even began, and then spilt a glass of orange juice all over it. The screams that day had rarely been equaled.

"I… I just want to look nice," Janie said, looking sheepishly. "I know it's stupid, I know, but…"

"It's not stupid," Rose said gently. "Every girl wants to look nice." Every girl wanted to look nice for things like balls and weddings and things… With a start, Rose realized her daughter would never get married; the second Tyler in as many generations.

Rose looked round at the clothes scattered across the room. "Is there really nothing here?"

Janie shook her head.

Rose nodded decisively. "Right. Okay. Well, if you have a wash, I'll go and ask the Doctor…" She hesitated before rephrasing that. "I'll ask _your dad_, if we can make a quick trip to somewhere more civilized. Somewhere with a Topshop, maybe?"

Janie smiled. "Do you think he would?"

"For his favourite girl?" Rose stroked her daughter's cheek. "I think he'd do anything for you, sweetheart. Now go and get ready."

* * *

The Doctor looked Jack up and down. It was a nice idea of his. A wonderful idea in fact, if it would work, he could never ever repay him for what he was offering to do. If it would work. Which it wouldn't. 

"I've done it before," Jack added as he saw the Doctor pondering his suggestion. "And it wasn't so bad. Only laid me out for about three days. It was a nice rest."

The Doctor smiled weakly, but shook his head. Jack didn't quite seem convinced though.

"But if it's energy they want, I've got tons of the stuff! I took down Abaddon! I'm sure I can do something measly like keep the universe from imploding!"

"Jack…"

"Honestly, I don't mind! I can take it. And… if I can't…" He shrugged. "No big deal."

The Doctor shook his head emphatically. "No, no way, Jack. Even if it would work, which it won't by the way, I wouldn't let you take that risk. It's Time Lord energy they want, not just some…"

"Freak?" Jack grinned ironically. "Alright. But there must be something… that kid…" In some ways he wished he hadn't had that talk with Janie; before then, he'd been able to detach himself to some extent. She was Rose's daughter, yeah, and the Doctor's too, which sort of doubled things up in an awkward way. But she was a virtual stranger. Now he felt like he knew her, he couldn't imagine that in such a short time she was going to be gone.

The Doctor sighed. "I've tried. Do you not think I've tried, Jack?"

Jack had to concede that the Doctor probably had tried. "I guess. I just thought-"

"I know what you thought. Thank you."

They both looked at each for a few seconds, before the arrival of Rose made them both jump.

For a moment, it felt like the old days. "Are you two playing nice?" Rose teased, looking between them.

"Always." Jack grinned. "At least, I was enjoying it."

"Yes, well." Rose looked at the Doctor, and realized it wasn't the old days. He'd changed since then. They all had. There were other reasons she was here. "Can we drop by somewhere with a few more shops than here?"

"You want to go shopping?" The Doctor raised his eyebrows incredulously, not sensing that the teasing time was over. "Rose, you have always amazed me with your penchant for retail therapy, but even so-"

Rose interrupted him. "Janie wants to go."

The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh. Right."

"She doesn't have anything to wear. Nothing… special, anyway." Rose bit her lip firmly and forced herself not to cry. "She wants to look nice for… well, you know."

"Yeah, I know," the Doctor agreed. He reached towards the console. "Well. What the lady wants…" He flicked a few switches and the TARDIS began to move. Within seconds, Abby came down the corridor, a frown on her face.

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Just back to Cardiff." The Doctor realized his mistake as he saw her face. "Oh. Your dad. Of course. Sorry, I should have asked…"

Abby didn't speak immediately, then she shook her head slowly. "It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" Rose raised her eyebrows. "We can go back, you can stay if you like."

Abby looked at Rose, and her eyes said it all. _Don't be stupid. How can I ever leave?_ "It's fine. He won't care. And anyway, we can always come back at the exact moment we left, can't we? The wonders of a timeship and all that."

Rose smiled. "Yes, well, if the Doctor has figured that out yet. He used to have some trouble with that kind of thing."

The Doctor looked over at her and a small smile came over his face. "Twelve hours. God, your mother never let me forget that, did she?"

"Forget what?" Janie joined them, her make-up painstakingly restored. "What did Gran never let you forget?"

"Oh, nothing." Rose leaned over and brushed Janie's hair back off of her face. "I'll explain later." Another pang hit her; there was no later. The time she had with her daughter was slowly ticking down and she still had so much to tell her. She wished she'd started earlier, had never hidden anything from her.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Here we are. Cardiff."

"Enough shops there to sink a ship," Jack informed her.

Janie smiled. "Good."

"You probably shouldn't go out on your own," the Doctor said now. Both Rose and Janie looked at him in a mixture of confusion and fear. "Not that I think anything will happen. I just think you should take someone. In case." He'd expected them to need a moment to decide. As it was, they each blurted out a name within seconds. Simultaneously.

"Jack."

"Owen."

Jack was obviously the only one to notice the Doctor's crestfallen look. "I'm useless at shopping," he said, waggling his eyebrows desperately in the Time Lord's direction. Sometimes he wondered if he should carry a sledgehammer around with him; the Doctor was pretty rubbish at getting subtle hints. Maybe violence would work out better.

"That's not true!" Rose laughed. "You used to wear out even me!"

"Yeah well. Endless life, shopping gets a bit boring." Jack shrugged. "I'll get Owen to go with you."

"Is he any good at shopping?" Rose asked, sensing something suspicious.

Jack pulled a face. "He has a unique style. But he's handy with a gun."

* * *

As soon as the TARDIS doors had shut behind the odd trio, Jack rounded on the Doctor. 

"Why didn't you offer to go with them?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't think. Anyway, they clearly didn't want me, did they?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "You sound just like Janie sometimes you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like a sulky teenager!" Jack retorted. "When are you ever going to get over this stupid chip on your shoulder? They probably thought you didn't want to go!"

"Well, they'd be right then." He caught Jack's exasperated look. "What?"

"Has it completely bypassed you that your daughter – your _only daughter_ – is about to sacrifice herself to save this universe? That pretty soon, she won't be here?" Jack looked at the Doctor in disgust. "And you're willing to let _Owen_ share the last few days with her?"

The Doctor considered his reply. There was so much he could say, if he could only find the right words. How could he go along with Rose and Janie on a shopping trip when he knew what was coming? He couldn't bear to look either of them in the eye. He just felt so useless… he wasn't used to not being able to do things like this.

Finally he answered Jack.

"Yes."

Jack frowned. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, I'm letting Owen share the last few days with her." The Doctor turned his back on Jack, a movement that said more clearly than any words ever could, _go away_. Jack took the hint and walked away, wondering what had happened to the Doctor he'd known so well.

The Doctor sighed heavily, holding onto the sides of the console panel to steady himself. He lifted his head and looked into the time vortex. He frowned. There was a voice in his head, only a whisper, barely even a murmur, but it was there. And he recognized it. He couldn't quite make out the words but he knew that voice. He placed a hand on the casing round the time vortex gently.

"What is it?" he asked softly. "What are you saying?"

The voice increased in intensity, washing round his head in a dizzying way. But still the words were indistinct.

"You'll have to be a bit clearer, old girl," he said, with a wry smile. "I'm not as young as I used to be."

With a sudden rush, the voice broke through and he heard it.

_"I like impossible."_

He frowned again. "Sorry?"

_"I like impossible."_

He was about to ask again, when he remembered. New Earth. The Face of Boe. New new Doctor. _I like impossible_.

"Yes, I do," he agreed in a whisper. He hesitated for a moment, his hand still resting on the vortex. Then he stepped back, and reached into his pocket for his glasses. "So come on. Let's get impossible!"


	55. Chapter 54

**Another update where not a lot happens... but keep an eye on the Doctor... he's being a bit sneaky in this chapter and we all know what he can do on the quiet. **

**Next chapter... the sacrifice. Be there or be a pigeon (I quite like pigeons actually, so that wouldn't be an awful thing).**

**

* * *

**If anything could convince Rose that Janie had changed, it was the way she shopped. They'd trailed from store to store, and for once, Rose was praying that in this one, her daughter would pick up something off a rail and disappear into the changing rooms to try it on. Instead, Janie was running her hand over tops and trousers and skirts, fiddling with the price tag as though she were being forced to at gun point, before moving away again. She was flitting from rail to shelf to rail without any thought, ambling around. 

"Janie, there must be something!" Rose exclaimed at one point, as they left the fifteenth shop empty handed. "Have you even looked properly?"

Janie's eyes flickered up from her studious perusal of the floor and met her mum's. "There's nothing. Okay?"

So they'd trailed back to the TARDIS, with nothing to show for their shopping trip. Owen had hung back the whole way, his hands in his pockets. Rose had glanced round a few times to find him fiddling with something. A flash of light off something metallic in his pocket made her gulp; he had a gun in there. She should have expected it really, but even so…

"Good time?" Jack asked, as they walked back in.

Janie didn't even reply, but trailed away to her room. Owen made his excuses and disappeared too, no doubt, Rose thought, glad to be able to go back to whatever it was he did. For her own part, she was still partially annoyed that Jack had chosen not to come with them. She was certain he'd have found something for Janie, and he'd have been a comfort for her too. He didn't have anything better to do; Gwen still wasn't talking to him. In fact, Rose had seen little of the pretty Welsh woman since they'd left that community hall. Torchwood in general had slipped away, as though their work here was all but done.

"I'll take it it wasn't?" Jack remarked. "Nothing she fancied?"

Rose didn't bother replying. She didn't want to talk about clothes and retail prices and bargains. "Where's the Doctor?" She looked round as though she expected him to be hiding somewhere. Stupid really.

"In the library, I think." Jack shrugged, not entirely sure himself. He'd bumped into him in a corridor, glasses on and a fierce determination on his face. He'd been incoherent though, muttering something about impossible and possible and research. Jack knew better than to get in his way when he looked like that. That was something that hadn't changed in the regeneration process: the grim steely look he got in his eyes when he was determined to do something. "He's been down there a few hours now. Ever since you left, actually."

Nice. Whilst Rose had been trying to help her daughter shop for a funeral shroud, the Doctor had been improving his already encyclopedic knowledge. She didn't know if it was all show or whether he genuinely wasn't bothered about what was going to happen in the next few days. Whatever she could ever have said about him, she'd always thought he had compassion. Sure, sometimes he could do things she thought were incredibly cruel, but he'd always done the right thing in the end. She'd seen his emptiness after the Time War. She just couldn't believe that now his family was threatened again and he was doing… nothing. Accepting it. Already preparing to move on. It wasn't for herself that she was so desperately upset. In part, she'd grieved for him many years ago, almost coming to accept that, no matter how much she tried to will it, they just weren't ever going to see each other again. But Jon and Janie… they deserved more than this. They deserved a father who would at least mourn them after they were gone. That was the very least he could do. Rashly, Rose decided that he needed to know how lucky he was with those kids. Even though she knew she was incredibly biased, she still truly believed that there were no other children like them. Anyone would be lucky to have them. Someone should tell him.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked suspiciously, as Rose tossed her hair back and made towards the corridor. He recognized the look in her eyes; she was about to mouth off again. God, how he loved that about British women circa twenty-first century: their utter conviction that they had something worth saying and were going to say it no matter what. On this occasion though, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

"I'm just going to see the Doctor."

"Is that such a good idea?" Jack was still clinging onto one stupid little hope after everything that had happened. Maybe the sacrifice couldn't be stopped. Maybe the Doctor couldn't cure his own little problem of eternal life. Maybe Gwen would never forgive him. The way things were looking, maybe he'd never even see her again. But even out of that mess, Jack still hoped that Rose and the Doctor would see it through. That they'd come out the other end of this nightmare and be like they used to be. No, he knew that wasn't possible. Too much had happened. But maybe they could try again, see if they could do it. They'd still have Jon, they'd still have their history. He just couldn't imagine a world where Rose and the Doctor could come so close, and yet still, somehow, end up apart.

"I've got to do something!" Rose snapped.

"I know, I just think…"

"You think what?" Rose challenged him. "Come on, Jack, give me the benefit of your experience. Oh, hang on, you don't _have_ any, do you? Not on this. You don't have children! You don't have a clue, do you?"

Jack was about to reply, when he saw the Doctor coming up the corridor behind Rose.

"You're back early."

Rose felt colour rise up in her cheeks as she avoided Jack's gaze. "Yeah, we couldn't find anything. What have you been doing?"

"A bit of research." The Doctor was already back fiddling with the console again. Rose resisted the urge to hit him; she'd been doing that a lot lately. But he was being so… so _normal_ about all of this.

"Research about what?" Rose demanded.

The Doctor looked up and regarded Rose slowly. "What do you think?"

Rose looked away, suitably ashamed that she'd questioned that. The hurt and betrayal on his face was evident; he couldn't believe she'd stopped believing in him.

"And?"

"And what?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Have you found anything? A way out, a loophole, a get out of jail free clause?"

"Oh. No."

Rose let go of her last bit of hope and nodded. "Right. Okay." She backed out of the room. "I'll go and…" Do what? Sit in a room with her daughter and try and pile eighteen years worth of truths into… "How long have got?"

The Doctor straightened up and put his hands in his pockets. The old familiar stance. "Till the-?"

"Yeah." Rose cut him off, not wanting to hear that word again.

"Tomorrow night."

Rose felt her stomach cramp up and was unable to keep the look off of her face.

"I know, it's short notice and…" The Doctor let out a long sigh. "But that's the date. It was pretty specific about that, actually."

"It would be," Rose remarked bitterly. "And where?" She foresaw a trip to some far off planet somewhere.

"Stonehenge."

"What?" Even Jack sounded surprised at that. "Are you serious?"

"But that's a pagan site," Rose protested. "Not _alien_."

"Oh, come on." The Doctor almost sounded jovial. "How did you think they got those stones up there? You humans, you never want to believe the simple explanations do you?"

"Aliens are the simple explanation?" Jack raised his eyebrows. "You're even starting to sound like a member of Torchwood. Who built it?"

"My people." The Doctor met Rose's eye guiltily. The Time Lords had as good as built this trap for their daughter, never knowing that one day, their construction would lead to this.

Rose bit her lip before replying. "Is that bigger on the inside too?"

The Doctor smiled. "No. Just regular old thee-dimensional."

Rose nodded. Then she backed away again. "I'll get out of your way then."

The Doctor waited just a fraction too long to say what he should have said then and the moment passed. "Right. Good." Just as she turned to go and added, "Oh, Rose?"

She stopped.

"If Janie wants something to wear… there's always the wardrobe."

Rose smiled and nodded. "I'll let her know."

The Doctor turned back to continue fiddling with the TARDIS. Jack regarded him suspiciously. Something wasn't right. Something in the way the Doctor was standing and holding himself and behaving… At any other time, the first thing Jack would have demanded would have been _How did you ever get her into bed with you?_ There'd been a god given opportunity to say something nice to her then, so obvious that Jack had felt half-inclined to say it himself: _You're never in the way_. Before he could begin berating the Doctor for that though, he was struck by the fact that the Doctor was completely absorbed in the screen in front of him, his eyes moving frantically, and even moving his lips as he read.

"Anything good there?"

The Doctor didn't reply. He was now busy looking at the screen with his glasses off; Jack wondered exactly why he even had those, they seemed to spend more time balanced on his head than being used.

"Doctor?"

"What?" The Doctor looked up and almost bumped his head on the screen. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"What are you reading?"

"Oh, just…" The Doctor turned the screen off and stepped away, feigning coolness. "Just something."

Jack narrowed his eyes at him. He was lying. "What were you researching before?"

"Just the usual."

"Find anything?"

"I've told you already, no."

"And I'm asking you again, did you?"

The Doctor regarded Jack carefully. He wondered if he could trust this man. Really trust him.

Jack waited impatiently. "Look, if you're not going to tell me…" He shrugged and made to leave the control room.

"Jack." The Doctor caught his eye and lowered his voice. "I've found something." Jack raised his eyebrows. "It's… it's complicated."

"Isn't it always?"

"I can't tell you." He paused. "But… Jack…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Tomorrow night, whatever happens… go with it."

Jack looked doubtful. "What's going on?"

"Jack!"

Jack nodded. "Okay, I'll go with it."

"And if… anything happens… Look after Rose."

Jack looked at the Doctor and a strange sensation came over him. Like he was really seeing him for the first time. And at the same time… "Why does it feel like this is the last time I'm going to see you?"

The Doctor smiled, but the sadness stayed in his eyes. "I've got no idea, Jack. No idea at all."

* * *

Janie smoothed down the full fifties-style skirt and looked at herself in the mirror. It wouldn't have been what she'd usually have chosen for herself. Mind you, who ever knew exactly what to choose to wear to die in? It hadn't been so much the dress that had attracted her, but rather the look on her mum's face when she pulled it off the rail. A smile had come across Rose's features as she stroked the material. 

"I wore this once," she'd said, her voice half-dreamy. "We went back to the coronation."

"Is that what people wore then?" Janie raised her eyebrows doubtfully. She'd done a project on the coronation at school and she was pretty certain that most people weren't floating round in full-skirted sparkly numbers like that.

Rose even managed a laugh. "No. Your dad got us lost. We were supposed to be seeing Elvis in Las Vegas. Instead we ended up battling some monster thing." She let go of the dress abruptly then began rifling through some more. "Anyway, see anything you fancy?"

Janie had pulled out the dress again. "Yeah. This."

Now she had it on, she could see it didn't really suit her. Her mum had always been curvier than her, and this dress was made for figures like that. And bright pink had never really suited her slightly sallow complexion. She should have dyed her hair while she had the chance. But she was determined that this should be the outfit she wore.

So now she was ready. Her hair was pulled back off her face loosely, she'd applied her make-up with a steadier hand than normal. It was only now she was looking at the full effect that she felt even slightly trembly about what was to happen tonight.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Janie was pleased to see her voice didn't wobble too much.

"It's only me." Jon poked his head round the door. "How are you?" Janie noticed that he seemed scared around her, and she hated it. Her own brother, nervous in her presence.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This dress does nothing for me though." Janie pulled a face in the mirror.

"Take it off then. You said there was loads of stuff up there, you could wear anything."

Janie shook her head. "No. I like this." She gave an ironic smile. "Not like there'll be many photos of me in it anyway, is it?"

"Janie." Jon sounded weary. "Don't."

Janie sighed. "What's the time?"

"Just gone eight. Da… the Doctor says we need to get going by about nine. That okay?"

Janie decided not to remark on the slip of the tongue just yet. "It'll have to be, won't it?"

Jon fiddled in his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Janie turned to look at him.

"I never gave you a birthday present." Jon produced a pretty silver chain from his pocket with a single crystal pendant on the end. "It's not much, and I know it's late, but-"

"It's lovely." Janie took it off him and twirled it round so that light refracted off the cut surface. "I was just thinking I needed a necklace." She hastily put it on and then looked at herself again in the mirror. In all honesty, all the sparkle of the dress and necklace combined looked more than a bit overpowering, but Janie was beyond aesthetics now. She played with the necklace and then caught Jon's eye in the mirror. "My big brother."

"I'm supposed to look after you," Jon said sadly. "Not been doing a very good job of that lately, have I?"

"You haven't been so bad." Janie smiled. "You did what you could. I haven't ever been easy, have I?"

Jon laughed, then found tears rise in his eyes and sobs choke his throat instead. "Janie, what am I going to do without you?"

"Jon, don't!" Janie threw her arms around him. "Oh, come on, don't cry. You'll set me off and I took ages over this make-up."

Jon gave a choked laugh. "I wish you didn't have to do this."

"But I do," Janie replied firmly. Jon lifted his head up and faced her. "Look after Mum, yeah?"

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," Jon teased, even though he felt far from cheerful.

"Things change." Janie shrugged. "And…Jon, at least _try_ with Dad." Jon pulled a face. "I'm serious!"

"Never thought I'd hear you say that either."

Janie smiled weakly. "No, well." She glanced in the mirror again. Despite her best efforts, her mascara had smudged slightly. "Guess I better start again." She rolled her eyes. She gave Jon a shove towards the door. "Go on. I can't concentrate with you hovering over me."

When her brother had gone, Janie faced herself in the mirror again. Her eyes were big charcoaly smudges. Slowly, methodically, she removed the make-up and started again. Anything to keep herself busy.


	56. Chapter 55

**I've been working on Chapter 57 this evening and it's nearly done, leaving only the epilogue to write, so I thought I'd repay all the lovely reviews with the update chapter of the sacrifice. Things become clearer, some questions get answered. Whilst other mysteries remain unsolved and new questions will get asked. Enjoy oh faithful readers! Oh, and if you fancy a fun game, tell me what one of Abby's favourite films is.**

**

* * *

**Later that night, the moonlight shone down, illuminating the circle of stones on top of the hill. Wind whipped round, sending clouds scuttling across the sky, blocking out moonbeams from time to time. And Janie made her way across the centre of Stonehenge, her hair tumbling out of the loose chignon as she went, and the skirt of her dress billowing in the breeze. All around her lurked the creatures that, prior to a few weeks ago, had been beyond her imagination. But now she could see them for what they were. They were the things that had always been there in her nightmares, just out of sight, and forgotten as soon as she opened her eyes. This moment seemed to have been foretold her whole life. As she crossed the crest of the hill, she concentrated on these thoughts, and kept her head held high. She wasn't going to cry. 

For the people watching, the moments passed like hours. As they watched the young pretty girl stepping into the moonlit circle, each of them tried to find a memory of her that they could hug to them and try and comfort themselves that at least that would always be there. None of them could get past the goodbyes they'd spoken only minutes before though.

For Rose, she'd never known a pain like it before. Her stomach was twisting and turning in ways that not even childbirth had caused. She could still remember the first time she'd laid eyes on her daughter, in that hospital all those years ago. For once, and for possibly the only time Rose could remember, it had been Jon causing trouble and crying, whilst Janie, after a brief wail or two at being dragged out into this strange world, had settled in her mother's arms and dozed off. It was that calm quiet resignation that Rose was reminded of tonight. Janie had hugged her tightly and Rose would have been perfectly content for that hug to never end. But Janie had picked herself, tossed her hair back and coolly moved on. Even now, her head was held high and she seemed completely in control.

Jon's goodbye had been perfunctory; they'd already said their goodbyes earlier and this was just going through the motions. It didn't mean that he was any the less glad of the hug she gave him. It had been a long time since they'd hugged properly. They'd slipped away from each other in the last few years, even though they shared the same friends and haunted the same pubs and houses. Right before all of this _stuff_ had happened, he'd been exasperated with her and glad that soon, very soon, he would be off to university and could begin the next phase of his life. Without his twin sister always there, defining him, making him who he was. He should have known; even now they'd said their final goodbyes and Janie was moving further away from him with each step, he was never going to escape from being her twin brother. And he didn't want to. He had no idea what he was going to do after tonight. He supposed they'd go back home, and he'd do what Janie had asked him to do, looking after Mum. He owed her that much.

Abby felt bad that she'd been so stand-offish towards Janie the whole time. Especially since reading the note she'd thrust into her hand as they'd left the TARDIS. It had been scrawled, as though Janie had written it in a hurry, but it was legible:

_We've never got friendly, but I wanted to say… I wish that could have changed. I'm nice, I really am. Apart from my terrible taste in boots. It would have been great if we could have been friends. As it is, look after Jon for me. He likes you. And even if you can't like him back… try._

It had taken Abby a little by surprise. The letter sounded so familiar… then she'd realized. How could Janie have known she was quoting one of Abby's favourite films? She hated having to watch the other girl walk towards the stones and not tell her that… that she'd _try_.

Owen couldn't help feeling like he was cursed. He knew it was a stupid thing to believe in, curses and spells and things. But so were legends, and yet here they were. First Diane, now Janie. His cheek was still burning where she'd pressed a quick fleeting kiss onto it, unseen by anybody, he hoped. As she walked away from them, her back poker straight in a way that looked unnatural for her, he tried to conjure up an image that would replace the real one he was seeing. But all he could think of was the look in her eyes as she'd briefly looked directly at him as they moved apart.

Gwen could only think of the unfairness of life. Here they were, watching a young beautiful girl, her whole life spread out in front of her, the potential to do anything. She'd only just met her dad for God's sake, she had so much to learn, so much to understand still. The older Gwen got, the more she realized that you never stopped learning, never fully understood anything. Maybe being part of Torchwood had made her understand that more: that you could never understand. Still, it just simply wasn't fair that Janie would never get the chance to realize that. In contrast, Gwen had all the time in the world to realize that. Tonight marked the end of her time at Torchwood; after tonight, she was leaving, forever. It would be like she'd never known anything, never met Jack or Owen or Tosh or Ianto. Like she'd never seen the things she'd seen experienced the things she had. It wasn't that that scared the most though. It was the thought _what now?_ Her whole life stretched out ahead of her, with nothing. No job. No boyfriend. No sense of who she really was. And yet she was the one standing and watching, whilst Janie signed her life away.

Jack was only able to feel a deep sense of regret and guilt as Janie had said goodbye to him. She hadn't seemed to blame him, and he assumed that his taking her place had never crossed her mind. Even so, looking at her upturned face, he had felt a need to protect her. And he couldn't. What use was this stupid eternal body, keeping him trapped here, if he couldn't save his friends? He looked sideways at Gwen and he instinctively knew what she'd say if he spilt his guts to her. _You tried. You've done it before, you saved us all once. You did your best_. Sometimes your best wasn't good enough though. And he still had that sick feeling in his stomach as he looked at the Doctor, gazing after his daughter.

As for the Doctor, the blood rushed round his body at record speed. His muscles were tensed and ready for flight, but he was holding back. Again and again, he ran the last words Janie had said to him through his head. _Love you, Daddy. Love you, Daddy._ They were enough to convince him that he had to do this, that he had to at least _try_, even if it failed. Not just yet though. He had to bide his time.

Janie had reached the centre of the stone circle now. As she stepped into position, a light rain began to fall, blurring the outlines of the surrounding creatures. It didn't stop them being terrifying. Each alien reminded Rose of what she'd seen and done with the Doctor, taking her back years and years. The Slitheen and the Daleks… two of them, the same ones as from the other day. She'd have loved to know how they'd got back this time. They'd cheated the Void when she hadn't been able to. Lucky things. Then there was a reaper, wheeling around the sky, not even bothered by the high winds or so it seemed. She supposed creatures who traveled through time and space wouldn't let a bit of British autumn weather bother them. They reminded her of her dad. Her real dad. The one she'd never got to know properly. She knew from her mum that the Pete Tyler that existed wasn't that much different from the original. More successful obviously. But essentially the same. Even so, Rose couldn't help thinking how things could have been different if he could just have lived. She supposed she'd feel the same about Janie over the years; this had to happen, she knew that. But it would never make her stop wishing it wouldn't.

The ugly movement of a Krillitane attracted her attention. Sarah-Jane. Rose sometimes wondered if she felt sorrier for her than herself. At least Rose had the twins… Thinking about the Doctor's other companions drew her to look at where Abby was stood. It had already been decided in her own head that this girl would be her project. She needed help, she needed guidance. She knew that doctors and all manner of therapists would think it a bad idea for her to get so involved with a young girl straight after losing her daughter. But Rose was able to shrug that off. Most doctors and therapists would deny the existence of extra-terrestrial life. And yet here they were.

There was the token Cyberman, moonlight glinting off its cold steel casing. Rose wondered if it was a blow to its ego that the Daleks were permitted two members whilst they were limited to only one. She wondered if the Cyberman even cared. At least she was able to feel something.

There were a few other aliens lurking around that she didn't recognize. A hideous snarling creature with a wrinkled head. Those fluttering things from before… the fairies. They didn't look like any fairies Rose had ever seen in picture books.

The rain had started falling in earnest, making Janie's carefully applied make-up smear across her face. And they all waited.

"What's taking so long?" Jack asked at length, glancing across at the Doctor. "What are they waiting for?"

The Doctor didn't reply. He knew what they were waiting for. The full moon was moving across the sky in the long prescribed path for it. Sooner or later it would come into perfect alignment with the centre of the stone circle. And then it would be game over. Almost unconsciously he slipped his hand into Rose's and felt her cold fingers curl around his instinctively. They both realized what they'd done at the same time, and jumped slightly, catching each others eye. Then, without speaking, they left their hands there.

Minutes passed. They felt like hours, each second dragging out the agonizing wait. The Doctor glanced up at the moon. It was nearly time. So nearly. It was now or never. As the moon almost perfectly illuminated his daughter stuck up on that hill, he made his move.

"I'm not losing someone else." He turned to Rose. He hadn't planned this moment, had barely thought beyond the sheer idea of doing it. But now it was here and he had no time left, there was only one thing left to do. He pulled her in close and pressed his lips against hers, much to her surprise. Then he dropped her hand and set off at a run.

Rose was stunned for a second, and then realized where he was going. Running straight at where Janie was. She made to run after him, and found herself caught up in a fierce tackle by Jack.

"Rose!" He warned her. She didn't fight, but stared in front of her with wide eyes.

The Doctor couldn't remember ever running so fast as he streaked across the dam grass. Maybe his Converse sneakers weren't ideal for this sort of thing, but he was damned if he was going to let his clothing stop him. The only thing he had his mind set on was reaching Janie before the moon did.

He burst into the stone circle at full pelt. It took the aliens a second or two to notice his intrusion. Long enough for him to reach Janie.

"Dad?" she asked in a trembly voice. "What are you doing?"

The Doctor didn't have time to explain. In fact, he barely even stopped moving as he knocked into her at such a great speed that she stumbled and rolled across the grass. Outside the stone circle, just like he'd planned it.

At almost the same moment as the Doctor launched into Janie, Owen set off at a run round the edge of the circle. Unfortunately, so did the reaper. With a screech, it launched itself up into the sky and then swept down towards the vulnerable Janie.

Jon acted without thinking. He pulled the gun Owen had given him the other day out of his pocket and held it aloft. As if in slow motion, he pulled the trigger, everything suddenly making sense. The bullet shot out of the end and hurtled through the sky. The rain was too thick for him to see it land, but the squeal from the reaper and its subsequent erratic path across the sky told him what he needed to know. He'd done it. Owen reached Janie just as she stopped rolling and was able to help her to her feet.

The Doctor faced up at the moon, his lips hardly moving as he muttered. "Come on. Come on!"

As if by his command, the moon completed its graceful arc across the sky, and a single beam suddenly shone down on him. On contact with him, the single beam seemed to refract into dozens of small but no less bright rays which shone out from the Doctor himself. They blinded the surrounding people who were unable to take their eyes off the sight in front of them. The lights shot through the sky and kept going. And it was like time had stopped. They could have been standing there hours or only a few minutes or for eternity. They wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. A strange calm fell over everything as they remained transfixed by the white light.

Then something seemed to go wrong. The Doctor's body bucked, seemingly involuntarily, and with a rush, all the light began re-concentrating itself on him. Like some sort of vacuum, it all seemed pulled in towards him, growing brighter and brighter with each retracted beam. The calm feeling left them all, replaced by panic. Something was very wrong.

Abby was the one to notice it first and gave a sharp intake of breath. They all looked at her for an explanation, but she wasn't able to get the words out, and could only point. And then they saw. Each of the aliens was being pulled into the light and was… disappearing. It was like the light was dissolving or disintegrating them, all of them. Daleks and Cyberman and Slitheen and fairies all got sucked in and then just vanished. At the centre of all the light, stood the Doctor, tall and proud, his head thrown back, his arms outstretched and his hair billowing in the wind. He looked like Rose remembered him from the beginning, when he'd regenerated. In charge. Magical. Wonderful.

Then, with a rush, the light all disappeared into a pinprick, concentrated in the centre of him. Only a second later, he gave a strangled cry. And collapsed to the floor.


	57. Chapter 56

**Exciting news... I finished the story. Like Mother Like Daughter Like Father Like Son is complete and saved on my computer. I'm in a bit of shock. I almost feel bereft, like my baby has grown up and left home. How weird is that?! Luckily I have some ideas already in mind for a new story... two ideas in fact. Which I may, if you're interested, share in my next update, to see what you guys think. I was supposed to be steering away from writing Doctor Who for a bit... ahhhh well!**

**This is the penultimate chapter. I was going to post the final chapter and the epilogue at the same time, until the epilogue ran away with itself and became very long. Anyway, I think there's enough to keep y'all reading after the end of the story proper. I'm not sure what the definition of epilogue is, but if it means short, then I've mistitled it. Anyway.**

**Here's a little conclusion for you, and for Jack.**

**And the song lyrics come from "Songbird" by Eva Cassidy.**

**

* * *

**It was some stupid time at night, Jack noted, as he glanced at his watch and pulled his coat further round him. The rain had stopped outside, almost as soon as the Doctor had collapsed. Jack supposed it had been something to do with the fairies and now they'd gone, the weather was returning to good old regular British autumn weather. Which meant the wind hadn't quite died down so easily. Normally he wouldn't care what the weather was doing; it had always been a very clear goal in his life to _never ever_ go native on the subject of weather. But this was serious. Because even inside the TARDIS, he could feel the wind every now and then, drifting in. He'd never known the TARDIS to be drafty before. 

The lights were dimming too, which gave the ship a strange dull appearance. The silence was the thing that sent shivers down his spine though. Not only was there a distinct absence of human voices, but the TARDIS had ceased her endless humming too. Jack supposed that Joni Mitchell had been right when she'd said that you don't know what you've got till it's gone; he'd hardly ever been aware of the singing and background noises in his mind when he was onboard on the TARDIS. Now it felt like someone had flicked a switch and even his brain was too quiet. Jack had rarely felt uncomfortable in his own company before; tonight he did.

He began by checking on the patient, as he was referring to him in his own mind. That was the only way he was holding it all together, by separating the personality and person he loved from the person lying in that bed, wearing some pretty hideous striped pyjamas. He had no idea where Ianto had produced them from, but he couldn't help thinking that the patient was probably very proud of them. It was the sort of geek chic he seemed to like this time around.

Jack hesitated at the door to the room, allowing himself to imagine for a few minutes that what had happened hadn't happened and everything was all hunky-dory. Delusion was very much a part of day-to-day life when you dealt with things like this. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Ianto was sitting on a chair, holding a small paperback book and a pen. Jack noticed straight away that it was a sudoku puzzlebook; Tosh had been trying to get them all interested for months. It seemed Ianto had finally cracked. Jack couldn't entirely blame him; by now, he'd been sitting in this room with the patient for nearly two hours, with no change. Owen had been checking him over regularly, and had even managed to find some alien medical equipment on board, but hadn't been able to deliver any useful results.

"He's got a binary vascular system," Owen had announced after his initial examination.

"I know," Jack had replied shortly.

"Right. Well… one of them's going like the clappers. And the other one is sort of… well, not."

"Not going?"

"Barely."

Now Jack took in the unconscious patient and had to take another deep breath. He was in charge now, he was the next most senior, he supposed. He had to hold it together.

"How is he?"

Ianto glanced up from his puzzle. "Much the same, sir."

Jack nodded. Ianto hadn't been strictly truthful, even he could see that. The patient was worse, if anything, judging by the even paler skin tone and irregular breathing; one minute there'd be a rasping shuddering intake of breath and then nothing for a long time.

"Where's Owen?"

"He went to check on Janie."

Jack nodded. He'd insisted Owen stay in the room, but, as usual, Torchwood's second-in-command had done his own thing. If Jack had had the energy he would have gone and fetched the cocky Cockney and reiterated his commands in no uncertain terms. But he didn't.

"Has he checked on him recently?"

Ianto nodded. "About ten minutes ago."

"And?"

Ianto met his eye reluctantly.

"Ianto?"

The Welshman looked away again. "He said… one of his hearts has stopped altogether."

Jack took yet another deep breath. "Right. Which one?"

"The left."

Like it made a difference.

Jack hesitated before nodding. "Right. Okay. I'll be back soon, okay? Are you alright to stay here?"

Ianto waved his book at him. "I'm fine."

Jack allowed a small smile to creep across his face. "Thanks Ianto. I'm going to check on everyone else. I'll talk to you later. If you need me… if anything…"

"I'll call you, sir."

Jack nodded, and after taking one final glance at the patient, ducked out of the room again.

He headed in the direction of Rose's room. He reached it a lot quicker than he had expected to. He stopped outside her door and glanced behind him. He wasn't imagining it; the distance had been shorter. The TARDIS seemed to be contracting second by second. Like she was…

Jack knocked firmly on the door and didn't wait for an answer before going in. It was strange stepping back into this room after all this time; it was still packed to the rafters with the stuff Rose had brought on board all those years ago. Her CDs and clothes and all the other rubbish that had come as part and parcel of the Rose Tyler package. Jack stepped over the debris carefully.

Rose herself was sitting on her bed, her blonde hair pulled back off her face in a rough low ponytail. She'd obviously brutally scrubbed her face of all the make-up she'd layered on this evening, and without it, she looked so much younger. That had always been one of the most interesting things about Rose, Jack had felt. The way she was able to switch from confident self-assured young woman to lost innocent little girl within seconds. She was looking younger than he'd ever seen her before tonight, and yet older too. It was a strange combination, something he'd only ever seen in one other person. And he was lying in a bed tonight. The parallels didn't stop there; Rose was wearing pretty hideous tartan pyjamas, and Jack was pretty sure that she'd brought them along with her.

Leaning against the wall, Rose greeted Jack with an anxious look. Jack shook his head gently. That seemed to allay at least some of her fears, as she went back to picking her nails. After a long period of silence, and whilst Jack's hands found their way into his trouser pockets, she looked up again.

"You've got your coat on."

Jack glanced down. "Yep. I have."

"I thought I was imagining it. Not the coat, the cold."

Jack feigned ignorance. "Cold? No, this is a fashion statement, a…" He tailed off as Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "It is pretty cold."

"I've never known it be cold on the TARDIS before," Rose said softly. "Or hot for that matter. The old girl's usually pretty good at regulating the temperature. The Doctor tried to explain it once, refused to accept the label 'air-con'. Said it was something complicated, something unique to TARDISes, not something you can pick up in your local B&Q." There was a pause. "It's not good, is it, Jack?"

"What?"

"The cold. And… the lights." Rose gestured towards a flickering light in the corner of the room. "It's never done that before."

"No," Jack agreed. He swallowed hard before telling her the news. "One of his hearts has stopped."

Rose looked momentarily shocked before nodding. "That happened when he regenerated," she said. "I don't suppose the tea thing worked, did it?"

Jack shook his head. The suggestion Rose had made earlier had surprised them all, not least Owen, who had grumblingly tried to feed tea through an intravenous drip before giving it up.

"It was worth a try." Rose's shoulders slumped even further, as her last idea ran out of steam.

"How are you doing?" Jack asked gently

Rose shrugged. "You?"

Jack shrugged back at her, and they both smiled weakly, united in their utter misery. Out of all the trips they'd ever taken, all the scrapes they'd ever got into, including getting trapped in a parallel universe and dying, this was the worst they'd ever felt.

Rose shifted awkwardly on the bed. "How are Jon and Janie?"

Jack shook his head. "I haven't checked."

"Can you?"

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Shouldn't you do that?"

Rose looked away guiltily. "I will, I just..."

Jack cut in. "Yeah, sure I'll check on them."

Rose nodded. "And then go and find Gwen, yeah?"

Jack looked uncomfortable. "Um, I'll check on the team, yeah."

"But Gwen especially." Rose nodded emphatically.

Jack nodded back. "Okay. Will you be okay?"

Rose smiled bitterly. "I always am. I have to be."

Jack leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "Course you are. That's why we love you, sweetheart."

* * *

Janie's room was equally as silent as both the patient's and Rose's had been. The door was open, and Jack poked his head round. The first thing he saw made him do a double-take. At first he'd thought it was Rose lying in bed, her eyes closed peacefully, her arms curled round the duvet like a child clinging to a teddy-bear. On the second look, he realized it was Janie, her brown hair knotted across the pillow, her smeared make-up still in place. 

The second thing he noticed was the music. It was on so low that he hadn't realized it was on at all until he was inside the room. It was a song he remembered from the old days with Rose; when she hadn't been Angels, this had been her other option. But whilst Jack had always been able to tease her about her Robbie Williams obsession, this song was beyond teasing. The voice sent shivers down his spine, and the words… well, he'd always thought Rose identified with the words a little too much.

_For you, there'll be no crying. For you, the sun will be shining. Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright. I know it's alright._

Owen was sitting in a chair by the side of the bed, but on seeing Jack he leapt up and crossed the room.

Jack decided he should at least try and act in control. He folded his arms. "You better have a good explanation for this, Harper."

Owen looked down at the floor, and if the light wasn't so bad, Jack could have sworn he could see a faint blush rising up across his usually pallid skin. "I know, you wanted me to keep an eye on the Doctor, I know I'm disobeying orders."

Jack nodded. "You're right."

"But I was just walking past… to take that tea away actually… and she was wide awake and sobbing like a baby." Seeing Jack glance round at the door, he added, "The door was jammed or something. Opened and then never closed. Otherwise I suppose she'd have shut it and-"

Jack tired of his colleague's rambling. "We wouldn't be standing here having this conversation." He looked over at where Janie was still fast asleep, not caring about the conversation going on around her. "Did you give her something?"

Owen nodded. "Just normal sleeping pills. Nothing alien."

"Owen." Jack recognized Owen's tone of voice. The hasty denial was always a dead giveaway.

"Okay, just a minor unconscious suppressor. In case she had dreams." Owen looked across at her again, sleeping peacefully. Her lips were even curved upwards in a semi-smile. "The stuff that kid must have seen. I didn't want her to get trapped in some awful nightmare. Oh, and the music… she said her mum used to sing it to when she was a kid, she found it in her mum's room in here." They both fell silent as the chorus swelled up again.

_And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you like never before._

Jack nodded. "Good work."

Owen looked at his boss. "What?"

"I said, good work." Jack fixed him with a steady gaze. "And not just now. You did good earlier."

Owen shifted uncomfortably, in a way most unlike him. He usually reveled in compliments. Now he seemed embarrassed by them. "Anyone would have done it."

Jack nodded quickly. "Oh yeah, course they would. Nothing special."

Owen glanced up from the floor. "I take it you've spoken to Ianto?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I could figure it out, it's driving me crazy. I'll head back in a bit and check on him again. Tosh is checking through the systems, see if she can find anything."

Jack nodded, though he knew it would be no good. All the systems on the TARDIS were in Gallifreyan, one of the very few languages the ship didn't see fit to translate. Tosh could try until she was blue in the face, but she wouldn't find out anything that way. Still, who was he to rain on their parade?

He left Owen in Janie's room and headed down the now very short corridor to Jon's room. He could hear muffled voices before he got there. The door was open, probably another TARDIS malfunction. Jack leaned against the doorframe and looked in.

Jon and Abby were sitting on the floor, cross-legged, at either end of a chessboard. Abby was dithering over where to place her black pawn. Finally, she thumped it down, and Jack winced.

Jon pushed his queen forwards. "Checkmate."

Abby looked around the board in shock. "What? But… how? How did you see that? Why didn't you let me know?"

"Because then it wouldn't be much of a game?" Jack suggested, as he walked in and crouched down next to the game. He pulled a face as he saw the pile of black pieces already discarded on one side of the board. "Abby, do you even know how to play chess?"

Abby shrugged. "Kinda." She twiddled the knight around in her hand. "I know this isn't called a horsey if that helps."

Jack smiled.

"How's Dad?"

Immediately Jack switched back to business. "He's alright." He wondered if he should mention the heart thing. He decided not to. "We're looking after him."

"What happened?" Jon fired another question off.

Jack sighed. "I'm not sure. We're looking into it."

Jon nodded, and then stood up. "I'm going to get some more coffee. Does anyone want anything?"

Abby shook her head. "I'm wired enough as it is."

Jack waved a hand. "I'm good thanks."

When Jon had left the room, Abby fiddled with the knight some more. "He's determined to stay awake all night. Until…" She shrugged, keeping her head down and focused on the wooden figure.

Jack nodded. "And you?"

Abby shrugged again. "I can't leave him on his own. I'll stay up too." She sounded exhausted though, and Jack took pity on her.

"I can have Owen give him something if you like. So you can get some rest."

Abby looked up incredulously. "You mean drug him?" She shook her head. "It's fine."

"And you?"

"I'm fine too." Abby turned her attention back to the chessboard and began setting up another game, gathering all the white pieces onto her side this time. Like it would make a difference.

Jack stood up and headed back to the door.

"Jack?"

He turned as she called him.

She looked up at him. "Can you… Would you…"

"What?"

"Call my dad? I've tried, my phone's not working. It's just, I left without saying goodbye properly. At all in fact. I know he might not even have noticed I've gone and stuff… but I just wanted to make sure that he's…" She trailed off.

Jack nodded. "I'll give him a call, what's the number?"

Abby told him. "Don't worry him or anything, don't say anything, just…"

"'Hello, Mr. Dean, it's Daffyd here from Clean and Shiny Windows, we're wondering if you'd be interested in our one for the price of three offer on window panes.'" Jack spoke in a fake and very bad Welsh accent.

Abby laughed. "Something like that."

Jack nodded. "I'll give it a go." He hesitated before adding, "And your mum?"

Abby visibly flinched.

"You've never mentioned her."

"And you know why, don't you?" Abby raised her eyebrows as Jack feigned innocence. "Is that part of Torchwood policy, all humans who get tangled up with you get their histories raked back up?"

Jack had the good grace to look slightly abashed. "I was just curious. I wondered why…"

"Why the Doctor chose me?" Abby sounded as bemused as him. "I don't know. Wrong place, wrong time, I guess."

"I was thinking more, why did you go with him?"

Abby looked even more bemused and shook her head. "Wrong place, wrong time."

Jack was about to say more, when Jon came back in. Abby almost immediately put on her bright face for him, shaking her copper hair out, and Jack decided what he had to say could wait.

"I'll let you guys get on with it then." Jack nodded.

"If anything happens…" Jon looked up.

"I'll come and get you."

Abby stood up. "Fancy some chewing gum?"

Jack shook his head, as she pulled a packet out of her pocket. "I imagine you'll need all of that the way you go through it."

Abby threw the packet at him even so and he caught it. He looked down at it and raised an eyebrow.

"I figured you needed to quit smoking sooner or later," Abby explained. "I mean, I know you can't die and all, but eternal bronchitis can't be that much fun."

Jack looked down at the nicotine replacement gum again and smiled. "Thanks." She was a sweet girl, and that only made him more determined that, as soon as he could, he'd tell her what he'd found when he ran the trace on her. That he'd found her mum, and that she was still alive and that he knew where she lived. He owed her that much.

* * *

The control room was even colder than before, and a fierce draft was sweeping under the door each time a gust of wind went round the TARDIS. Jack was feeling the cold even inside his wool overcoat. Tosh was obviously feeling the cold even more, as she huddled inside a ridiculous looking fur coat, which hung around her tiny frame like a cape. 

"Where did you find this?" Jack plucked at it with thumb and forefinger. "God, it stinks!"

"It's warm though," Tosh replied, not taking her eyes off the screen in front of her. She frowned. "I don't understand this."

"It's in Gallifreyan, you won't understand it. Only the Doctor does."

Tosh looked at him in bewilderment. "Sorry?"

"I said-"

"I heard you. It's just… well, that's English."

Jack frowned and leaned over her shoulder. "What?"

"Look. It's English." Tosh pointed to the screen. And she was right, the writing on screen, usually in such unintelligible symbols, was in plain simple English.

"No." Jack pressed a few buttons. "It must be a mistake, it must…" He shook his head. "This shouldn't be happening, the TARDIS doesn't translate that. Other languages yeah, but not that. How long has it been doing this for?"

"Since I started looking at it, about an hour ago." Tosh shrugged. "I didn't know there was a problem."

Jack was still frantically looking through all the screens. "There must be a reason, a glitch, something that's making this happen. Why would she suddenly start translating it for no reason?"

"She?"

Jack froze. "Unless… there is a reason! Tosh, what did it say, you've been reading it. What did it all say?"

"That's what I was saying, I didn't really understand it." Tosh nodded. "I was trying to find something to help the Doctor, but all I kept getting were these pages about…"

"About?"

"The sacrifice and the legend." Tosh looked uncomfortable.

"And what did they say?"

Tosh shook her head. "I don't know, something about…"

"About?" Jack pushed her.

"Just substitutes or something and reversing the reaction… It was all really technical and hypothetical."

Jack processed the information. "Substitutes. The Doctor was a substitute for Janie and… he _reversed_ the reaction, he took it all in… If he knew that… He must have known what would happen, there must be something about what's happening now. Tosh, what did it say?"

"It didn't, it just…" Tosh shrugged. "It broke off, there was no conclusion. That's what I didn't understand."

Jack's hopes which had risen up in the last few seconds collapsed again. He stepped away from the control panel. Maybe there was no reason for the translation, it could just be another malfunction, like the heating and the lights. Or maybe even the TARDIS didn't know what had happened. That scared Jack more than he was able to admit, even to himself.

"I'll keep looking," Tosh offered.

Jack smiled at her. "Thanks." He was sure she wouldn't find anything though; life was rarely that simple and never that kind. He felt in his coat pockets. Despite Abby's gift, old habits died hard. His first reaction on such an occasion was to reach for his cigarettes. Except they weren't there, and neither was his lighter. It was a good lighter, made by the finest manufacturer in London in 1941. He really hoped he hadn't lost it… Then he suddenly knew, without any doubt, where his cigarettes had gone.

* * *

He found Gwen sitting with her back up against a rock in the dark. It was even colder outside than in the TARDIS, and the wind was nearly strong enough to knock him off his feet. Gwen, however, didn't seem phased by the wind, dressed in only a short-sleeved t shirt and her trademark jeans. She was shivering almost beyond control, but her attention was fixed on the lighter in her shaking hand. As he walked over the rough hillside towards her, he watched her flick the lighter three times to try and create a spark, only for the flame to immediately disappear amidst the strong wind. The cigarette in her mouth remained unlit. 

Jack sat down quietly behind her on the rock, and she didn't even seem to notice, just continued to try and light the cigarette. He watched her twice more and then gently leaned over and took both the lighter and the cigarette off of her. Only then did she turn to look at him. Without saying anything she turned to face across the hillside, the wind making her dark hair dance around wildly.

"You don't smoke."

"Well, maybe tonight I do." Gwen's voice, when she finally spoke, was hoarse and Jack could tell she'd either been crying recently or was on the verge of tears. "It usually works for you."

"Not anymore, apparently." Jack put the lighter in his pocket and played with the cigarette, picking at the ends of it. "Abby seems to think I need to quit. Being eternal and everything. She thinks emphysema's a bad lifelong companion or something."

Gwen didn't reply, but gazed into the distance again. A particularly violent gust of wind swept across them both and a shudder ran down her spine.

"Jesus, Gwen, you're freezing." Jack shrugged his coat off hastily and dropped it around her shoulders. Gwen tensed up at first, unwilling to accept anything from him, but as the wind came back for another attempt she was glad of the warmth. She wouldn't admit she liked the smell of it too: pure Jack.

They sat in silence for a bit.

"How's the Doctor?"

Jack shrugged. "No better."

Gwen looked up at him. "Worse?"

Jack nodded reluctantly. "A bit."

Gwen slid herself up onto the rock beside Jack, and hunched inside his coat. "What about Janie? And Jon?"

"Janie's asleep. And Jon's with Abby."

"And Rose?"

Jack didn't reply. He wasn't sure what he could say. Gwen didn't press him for an answer, but looked out over the hill again. She was so long in silence, that she almost made Jack jump when she spoke again.

"What are we going to do?" She sounded almost as if the words weren't supposed to come out, her voice faint and dreamy

"We?" Jack was momentarily fazed, wondering who exactly she was referring to.

Gwen shook herself. "You. I meant, you. Torchwood. What are you going to do?"

Jack noted the slip of the tongue, but didn't say anything just then. "The usual."

"Without the Doctor?"

"He's not dead, Gwen!" Jack was unexpectedly sharp, and Gwen jumped. Then he controlled himself again. "But if we had to. Why not?"

"He was the reason you existed in the first place. Is there anything left without him?"

Good question. Jack wondered what _was_ left without the Doctor. He wondered if the death of the last Time Lord would cause an irreparable tear in the universe. Maybe the whole of time and space would implode. Maybe life would end. Or maybe nothing would happen. Things would go on as usual, no one would even notice the difference. What you don't know can't hurt you. Jack wasn't sure which outcome he preferred.

"There'll still be work for Torchwood." More than ever if the Doctor were gone.

They fell silent again. Again it was Gwen who broke the silence.

"Jack?"

"Gwen."

It didn't even raise a smile on her lips.

"I was thinking… about… Retcon."

Jack didn't reply. Gwen didn't turn to look at him.

"The last time I took it, I remembered things. Torchwood. You."

Jack nodded.

"Well… what about this time?"

Jack hastily cleared his throat. He hated thinking about giving her that drug and all her memories being washed away. _Wake up tomorrow morning, you'll have forgotten everything about Torchwood. Worse still, you've have forgotten me_. That had seemed funny, if a little cruel, at the time he'd first said it. Now it almost killed him to have to think it.

"Jack?"

"We'll give you a double dose. To make sure."

"And then…?"

"Then you won't remember it. Any of it."

Gwen looked away and he could have sworn he saw her take a deep gulp of air and swallow back a lump in her throat. But she sounded remarkable controlled when she spoke. "Right. Good." Then she said, "So if I bump into… Tosh or Ianto or Owen or… you… in the street… I'll…?"

"You'll think, wow, he's hot. Unless you see Tosh of course. Or Owen. Or Ianto." Jack was aware the joke was falling horribly flat. Gwen didn't seem to notice though.

"And what you?"

Jack frowned.

Gwen forced her words past that lump again. "When you see me in the street. What will you do?"

That was what Jack hated thinking about. He didn't see how he could ever see Gwen in the street and ignore her. But he couldn't very well run over and start talking to her. Not once she left Torchwood. That was it, the end.

He shrugged. "I'll think, there's Gwen, she looks happy."

Gwen looked away again and Jack was certain he heard her stifle a sob this time. That gave him the push he needed to say, "You don't have to go, Gwen."

"What?"

"I said, you don't have to go. You don't have to leave Torchwood. You could stay."

Gwen gave him a withering look, even as she wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "No, I couldn't."

"You could!"

"No, I couldn't!" Gwen shouted. "How could I stay? What would I do? Get up every day at some ungodly time, that's assuming I ever _got to bed_. Then come into work and listen to Tosh and Owen sniping at each other, and you being all brooding and silent, and then have to go out on yet another case where some poor bastard winds up dead and we have to lie to his family. Or maybe it'll be a day like today, when I get to watch yet another little girl lose her daddy. And then after all that I get to go home, on my own and not be able to tell _anyone_ about it! Because that's what this job is, isn't it, Jack? I can't stay, I can't live like that anymore!"

Jack remained unaffected by her outburst on the outside, but inside he was crying for her. He knew Gwen found it hard, God, they all struggled. Maybe Gwen was just more honest than they were.

"Why don't you sleep on it? Maybe once you get back to Cardiff and see Rhys, all this will-"

Gwen snorted and interrupted him. He turned to look at her, frowning.

"I don't think that's going to help."

He increased his frown.

"Oh don't act like you don't know." Gwen threw him a contemptuous glare. "I'm sure Owen just couldn't wait to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Oh come on! You're a rubbish liar, Jack Harkness."

"Told me what?"

Gwen's jaw dropped. "You mean you don't know?"

"Know what?"

Gwen looked away, embarrassed suddenly. "Me and Rhys. We split up."

"What?" Jack was completely taken aback. That was something he hadn't seen coming.

"You heard."

"Why?"

Gwen hesitated before saying, as matter-of-factly as she could manage, "He slept with someone else." She carefully avoided implying blame on him, avoiding the "cheating" word.

"He did what?" Jack felt something erupt inside him and he irrationally wanted to head straight up to Cardiff, find Rhys and punch him.

"It's not a big deal," Gwen insisted.

"He cheated on you!" Where Jack came from, that wasn't a huge crime. Jack himself had been known to commit that particular misdemeanor on more than one occasion. Round here though, he knew it was virtually a hanging offence. And anyway, wherever he was, this was _Gwen_ they were talking about. What kind of moron was Rhys to have Gwen and let her slip away… Jack was suddenly faced with the idea of being very like Rhys himself, and he didn't like that. He was so close to her now, close enough to touch her, close enough to…

He suddenly reached out and held her head gently but firmly with both hands. Gwen's eyes searched his face in the split second before he kissed her softly. She resisted for a second, then he felt her give in. Only as soon as she did that, she pushed him away.

"Jack…" she warned him.

"I want this, Gwen. We both do."

Gwen looked at him. "Jack, you don't know what you want," she said gently, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

"And you do?"

Gwen looked away.

"Maybe I don't always know, but I do now."

Gwen looked at him challengingly.

"I want you to come into work in a morning, tired and hungover and probably with greasy hair, but ready and willing to work your butt off like you do every day. I want to see you and Owen having the biggest fight in history, but reconciling in time to roll your eyes at whatever Tosh says. I want to see you sitting round that boardroom table demanding we remember someone who's just died. I want to see you running like crazy after yet another loony thinking they can cope with alien technology. I want to see you eat the biggest greasiest fry-up in history and still declare that your arteries are just fine. I want to hear that funny little inflection you put into your voice when one of us finally gets back in contact with you after the signal's dropped out for a bit. I want to hear you and Ianto talking in Welsh when you think no one can understand you. I want you to come and sit on my desk at the end of the day and tell me stories about what you've done and how you feel, and bitch about Owen. And then I want to spend the evening with you, the night, every night. That's what I want." He breathed out. "So what do you want?"

Gwen's eyes flickered to and fro across his face. She looked down at the ground. Then she said, softly, "I want… that." She smiled up at him. "I want exactly that."


	58. Chapter 57

**Here it is, the final chapter! I know it's taken a long while to get up, I'm so sorry about that, was being awkward and there wasn't much I could do about it. It wasn't a deliberate thing, honest! Anyway, I've just read IndeMaat's story "The Doctor Helps Out" and discovered a sneaky trick to let me update! So thanks for that! Thanks for hanging in there (those of you that did!) and waiting for this. **

**I said I'd share my ideas for new stories with you. I'm just putting the finishing touches to a length one-shot song fic called She Will Be Loved. I won't give too much away about it, except to say its set post-Doomsday and isn't altogether that cheerful! Just got the very final bit to write now, which is sort of an explanation of why what's happened happened. It might get done this evening so will probably be up tonight or some time tomorrow.**

**I've had a few ideas for a new longer fic. One is a series of episodes as though Abby had been a companion of the Doctor's for a series, a sort of collection of one-shots, possibly based around the songs on Kelly Clarkson's album Breakaway. I don't know why, I can just see how some of them would fit in. **

**Another idea is a sequel to a story I wrote on here a while back called Sad songs say so much. It would be more Torchwood based, but Rose and the Doctor would be in there too, and would be the driving force for the story. **

**And another idea is a post-Doomsday AU fic where not only Rose but the Doctor too ended up in the parallel world. And all would not be sweetness and light. **

**So, if you've got any preferences out of them, or ideas to add, it's always appreciated.**

**Another thing: I'd love to know how you all thought this story was as a whole so if you have a chance to write an overall evaluation as a review, that would be awesome. I'm going to write a brief self-evaluation and will share it with you next time...**

**For now, here's the final chapter… nearly...

* * *

**

Rose padded along the corridor in her bare feet, wincing at the cold floor. Even with her thickest jumper on over the top of the tartan pyjamas, shivers were going up and down her spine. That could just have easily been caused by the fact that the corridor was a lot shorter than she remembered. If she hadn't pushed the thought away with a determined air that it was impossible, she would have been convinced that the TARDIS was shrinking. And that terrified her.

She'd presumed everything was okay, seeing as Jack had never returned to tell her one way or another. Well, as okay as things could be, under the circumstances. She hoped Jack had found Gwen and that the two of them were curled up together somewhere now. It would be one good thing to come out of all this mess.

The lights in Janie's room were completely off, apart from a bulb flickering ominously in the corner. It gave enough light to highlight the two sleeping figures. Janie was curled up in bed, on top of the duvet, her hands buried in the pillow. She looked exhausted, Rose thought, and her make-up was smeared all over her face with tears. But she was safe and here. That was what mattered. Memories would fade and hearts could be mended. Rose knew that from experience. Death was something that couldn't be undone. Owen was sitting by the side of the bed, his head buried in his arms, fast asleep. He'd fallen asleep on duty, Rose thought, and wondered what Jack would do if he ever found out. She could imagine Jack was a pretty horrific boss at times. Not that she'd ever tell him. Owen had been there for her daughter when she couldn't be, and as far as Rose was concerned, he'd earned her unconditional support. She stepped back out of the room quietly.

Jon's room was less quiet. Rose hovered outside the door as she heard the soft conversation he and Abby were having. She couldn't make any many of the words, but she could guess what it was about. Rose knew she could trust Abby with her son; that girl had dealt with more complicated people in her time. Anyway, she didn't have time to face him now. There was someone else she had to see.

The door to the Doctor's room was open, but Rose didn't enter immediately. She fussed around outside, feeling like she had when she was nineteen and unsure about what she was doing there. She'd lingered outside his room on more than one occasion, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. She never managed it. Eventually, like he'd always known she was there, the Doctor had opened the door and pulled her inside. There'd be no such luck on this occasion.

Finally, she walked in. Ianto immediately scrambled to his feet, scattering pencils and paper.

"I was just…" He ran out of words.

Rose nodded. "It's alright." She turned her attention to the body in the bed, and felt her heart leap out of her chest. It was like twenty years ago, him lying in those pyjamas and nothing they could do except sit and watch. Except he looked worse and Rose felt worse and the whole situation was just _worst_.

"How is he?"

Ianto shrugged. "I'm not a doctor…" The irony of the words wasn't lost on either of them. God, how they needed a doctor. It was just a shame that the only one who would know what to do was the one that needed the help.

"Has he got worse?"

Ianto shook his head.

"Better?"

Another shake.

Rose nodded and took a step closer to the bed. From here she could see the pallor on his skin and the way his chest fell in heavy racking breaths. She reached out a hand to touch his hair, one little strand that was falling over his eyes. Then she remembered Ianto and pulled back.

Ianto cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm going to go and get a coffee. Would you like one?"

Rose shook her head. "No, I'm fine." As Ianto reached the door she added, "Thanks."

Left alone, Rose still found herself unable to reach out and touch him at first. She skirted round the edge of the bed, hugging her arms into herself. She settled in the chair Ianto had occupied, curling herself up into a ball. She was getting too old for that kind of acrobatics, she thought, but suddenly she didn't feel thirty-eight anymore. It felt like eighteen years ago all over again. _I can't think of what to say._

"Look at you in your pyjamas," she said tentatively. "Very Arthur Dent. Mum always wondered what had happened to those, you know. And Howard's dressing gown. Not that he lasted much after that… I suppose Mum's explaining that a strange man took them kind of ruined that." She finally reached out and moved that strand of hair. She smoothed the chocolate brown hair back, remembering all the times she'd done that before. "You can tell no one's been traveling with you for a while. You need your hair cut. Why do you always forget things like that? Saving the universe, no problem. Washing behind your ears…" She smiled, as she stroked his head. He'd always been the most absent minded person she knew. A genius, there was no doubt about that. But utterly useless when it came to practical things like microwaves and haircuts. That had been her role, the domestic approach. Funny really. She'd left home to try and be more than Mickey's girlfriend, and do more with her life than cook and clean. And yet with the Doctor, it had come to her naturally. She'd never have admitted it to him, or to anyone, least of all Mickey, but she _liked_ taking care of him. For the first time in her life she'd felt some sort of reason to be. Back home, she'd known she had to work in order to make money to help her mum out, but she'd sometimes wondered why. Was it so she could carry on living in the flat so she had somewhere to go after she'd finished working? Or was the money so she could spend time with Mickey in a pub, after they'd finished working? Life seemed endless and repetitious. She did one thing so she could do another and end up back where she'd started. It had all been so different from the moment she'd stepped onto the TARDIS. There was a point to things. At first, in the darkest moments, she'd wondered why they should even bother saving the universe. So people could carry on working so they could pay for the houses so they had somewhere to go when they weren't working? It had all seemed so monotonous. But he'd shown her there was more to it all than that. Humans. He loved them, everything about their stupid little lives and loves. It was ironic really, but a nine-hundred-year-old alien had made Rose remember why it was important to stay alive. _You two… street corner. Getting a taxi home._ That's what it was all about. That's when she'd begun taking care of him. Nothing major, just cooking him meals and tidying up after him. It was as much therapy for her, a bit of normality after the insanity he'd brought into her life. And it was what he needed.

"There's so much I still need to tell you." She bit her lip and then continued in a rush, "Not that you won't be fine, I mean, I'll have plenty of time…" She broke off, swallowing a lump in her throat. She'd lived in denial for so much of her life after the Doctor. First of all, she'd been unable to believe that she was stuck in a parallel universe, somewhere the Doctor could never come. It seemed unthinkable that anything, let alone she, could exist without the little bit of magic that followed the Doctor. She'd known even as she'd thought it that it was stupid; before she'd met him, the sun had risen every day, the flowers had come out in spring and every year, the Christmas Countdown seemed to start earlier. It wasn't like he was a god, controlling the world. Things could carry on without him. But for those first few months, it had felt like nothing could ever be as it was. Rose had never told anyone how she'd felt, how she'd woken up in the night sometimes, convinced she'd forgotten to breathe without his presence in her life. When the seasons had changed, she'd been amazed, wondering how they did that without him to see them and smile. It wasn't just that the world seemed a crueler place without him; it was that she couldn't comprehend a world existing at all without him.

She'd put off believing in being pregnant until she couldn't admit otherwise. Three days in a row she'd been violently sick, despite not eating anything. There was nothing left to bring up, she was empty. Sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall, the ever-present tears falling down her face, Rose had looked up to see Jackie standing in the doorway.

"How far gone are you?"

Even then, Rose had almost been able to kid herself that this was happening to someone else. The appointments, the shopping for baby things. She'd been able to believe that this was all just a dream, one she'd wake up out of and it would just be her and the Doctor again. Or, if she had to, her and the Doctor and the baby. Though she couldn't quite reconcile her idea of him with her idea of what a doting father should look like. There was something not entirely right there.

But denial had ended forever on that beach, when he'd said goodbye. Well, not even that, just her name. There was no going back. If he could have come through then he would have done, or he would have promised to try. And she'd lied to him, knowing that it was the best thing. For all of them. To tell him he had a family ready and waiting for him, and know that he couldn't get to them. It would be like replaying the Time War all over again for him.

Time she stopped lying to herself.

"But just in case…" She scouted through her mind for all the things she wanted to say. She didn't know where to begin. There was too much to say and far too little time. How could she possibly compress everything she felt about him, reasons for why she'd done what she'd done, stories about their wonderful children, how could she ever hope to tell him one-thousandth of all of that? She could never find the words to express it all. All the things she'd never said, because she didn't know how, and because she couldn't and because when it had just been her and him, it had felt like they had all the time in the world. Not just because they were in the TARDIS. She knew from everyone around her that everyone felt like that. Her mum had never said half the things she should have done to her dad, her real dad, because what they had was always going to be there, they were going to live forever. And then he'd died and those things had been left unsaid. When Mickey had left, Rose had felt all the things she should have said come rushing up to her mouth but didn't make it past her lips. It had been too late to say everything she had meant to. Time had run out. Now it seemed the time had run out for the Doctor. It was strange; in the back of her mind there had always burned a tiny thought that so long as the Doctor was alive, no matter where she was, there was a chance. That that could ever end she hadn't though possible. But there you go. The impossible was never that impossible.

So now she was here, back where all the madness had started, holding his hand. And she had to tell him.

"I loved you the first time you held my hand." It sounded so lame and cheesey, like something from one of those films that Mickey used to rent out when he was feeling generous and thought he'd been neglecting her. He'd invite her round to his flat and produce the DVD along with a bottle of cheap wine and a buy-one-get-one-free bag of crisps. Rose had never had the heart to tell him how much she hated those films. Even so, the words came in useful now. They were true. "You and that stupid grin of yours. I didn't realize it until later. It wasn't like your hand slipped into mine and I thought 'Wow, I love you.' In fact, I thought you were a nutcase at first. You terrified me with all that stuff about aliens. And then I thought you'd killed my boyfriend… never the best way to endear yourself to a girl. But looking back, that was it. That moment." She traced the familiar lines on the different hand she held now. "That was what finally did it, you know, what finally broke my heart. The thought that I wouldn't ever hold your hand again. That was all I ever thought about, every time we were separated. In Utah, and the Blitz and the Gamestation. That I wouldn't just do this ever again." She took a deep breath. "And then you changed, and I wanted your old hand back, but I wanted your new hand too, and…" She swallowed deeply, remembering how confused she'd been. It had been like when you found yourself in a shop and you put your hand into your mum's only then you looked up and realized it wasn't your mum at all. The things she'd felt about the Doctor had gone and yet… Yet they were still there, burning so brightly and fiercely inside her that it physically hurt. She'd wanted him to change back and at the same time, had wanted to get to know this new him, find out something different and exciting and wonderful. It had torn her apart. Then one morning, she'd woken up and her first thought had been to find the Doctor and smooth his hair down. She'd had a dream about him ruffling his hair up, and she knew it was only a dream, but he was so untidy with it… And she'd known, in that instant, that he'd changed, for good. That her Doctor was gone. And now her Doctor was here.

"I knew about the twins before I left you." There, it was out now. The guilty secret she'd been carrying for years. She couldn't count the number of times she'd lain awake, going over and over in her mind just how different things could have been different if she'd told him. Told him what she had no idea. Or when.

"Well, I didn't _know_ exactly," she clarified now. "I guessed. Just before we went to the Olympics, I started to think that something wasn't quite right, but I wasn't going to tell you straight away. And then when we started talking about children, I thought… I thought maybe it was the right time. And then you said you'd been a father once. I'm not blaming you, I should have found another time. It's just… that changed things." It had spooked her, she had to admit that. She knew that sooner or later, if what had happened hadn't happened, she would have told him. It was just another one of those things that time had run out on.

She didn't see now how it could have changed things. No matter how much the Doctor would have tried to protect her, she was Rose Tyler and she knew she would never have let him lock her away in the TARDIS for nine months. Maybe she should have been thankful it had all been so painless. She'd seen a lot worse happen to other people in her time with him. And she had two wonderful amazing children, who'd had eighteen years to be normal. Plenty of children didn't get even that. They were safe in bed tonight, where she knew nothing and nobody could harm them. That was a lot more than many people had. In a way, she supposed she could be thankful for what Torchwood, the Daleks _et al_ had done, in sending her away somewhere safe to bring up the children. That they'd ripped her family apart again was neither here nor there.

"There's never been anyone else." Rose realized with a quick smile that she was echoing her mum's words to Pete all that time ago, and she remembered the Doctor's and Mickey's raised eyebrows at the slight untruth. "I mean it. No one. Since I left you, no one's ever come close. I had enough offers over the years, from people at work and Mum was forever trying to set me up. I went on a few dates from time to time. More to please her than anyone else, she thought it was unhealthy to not get out there and meet new people." She linked her fingers through his, trying not to notice how hold his hand was, or how blue his lips were turning. She knew without checking that his remaining heart was slowing down even further. "All I could think about was you though. What you'd think about the guy I was with, or what I was wearing. This one guy I went out with once had tea at the end of the meal and raved about what wonderful stuff it was. I half-wondered if it was you, come back, if you'd regenerated. Then I realized he was just a normal bloke, and I nearly burst into tears. Mum stopped pushing after a while, just dropped a few hints now and again." Rose had known it had worried Jackie, to see her only daughter stay in night after night, cuddling her kids together, watching TV but not seeing anything. And Rose herself had known it was a bit silly, to spend the rest of her life pining after one man. But she just couldn't bring herself to so much as hold hands with anyone else. It would have been the final betrayal.

Rose had few regrets in her life. Leaving her mum worrying was one of them, but that couldn't have been helped. She hated what had happened, separating her from the Doctor, but that wasn't a regret. It was just the way things were. What she did regret was never telling Jon and Janie about their father, the truth, so that they could have avoided the last awkward few weeks and months. At the time it had been a way of keeping them safe and protecting herself. Now it just seemed like she'd tried to erase him from her life which wasn't the truth at all. If she could have done, Rose would have talked about him from dawn till dusk every day of her life. Talking about him wasn't as wonderful as being with him, could never come close, but it was all she had left. And she'd buried that, because at the same time as it being wonderful, it had been overpowering. It was like that bloke said to Keira Knightly in Janie's favourite film. It was a self-preservation thing.

But what she regretted more was the last few days. They'd lived together, inside the TARDIS, something she'd dreamed about doing again for years. And she'd bee so angry with him that they might as well have been on different planets. They'd lost so much time, the one thing the Doctor never seemed to run out. And what she hated most of all was that he hadn't been able to tell her what he was going to do. Time was, they'd shared everything, and then, when it really mattered, he'd pushed her away. She knew he'd claim it was for her own safety, that he couldn't have told her. But she couldn't help thinking it was more than that, that he'd begun to believe that she'd stopped loving him and wouldn't care if he lived or died.

"Which just isn't true," she insisted now, gripping onto his hand tighter, tears pricking the backs of her eyes. "I started loving you the second you took my hand and I never ever stopped. I hated you sometimes, and I was angry and upset with you… But I never stopped loving you. You were everything to me, you still are." She knew that sounded awful, like she was sidelining her own children. Jon and Janie were her world, but they were part of the Doctor too. Without him they wouldn't exist. She'd come so close to losing Janie tonight, and without him, she would have done. If Jon and Janie were her world, he was the universe that had made it all happen. Everything.

Life was so unfair. The feeling hit her hard and she felt fresh tears come into her eyes. She'd seen other people around her fall in love and get married, have children and grandchildren. All without any bother. More than once in her life she'd wondered why she couldn't have that, why things for once couldn't be on her side. Why she couldn't have a nanogene moment: _Everybody lives!_ She'd never asked for much. She'd kissed her share of frogs in Jimmy Stone… he was more than one person's fair share in a lifetime. It wasn't like she'd ever wanted more than just this, here, now. Her children and their father all under one roof, was it really so much to want? Her and the Doctor… it had never been about aliens and spaceships and time traveling. All of that was wonderful, and she knew some people would have hated giving it up. She'd hated losing it, but it wasn't that that she'd really wanted. She could have given it all up in a shot, if only she could have had him. It wasn't the alien she'd wanted, it was the man who had saved her life. But it wasn't even that, she didn't want a hero, a saviour, someone who could calculate the speed of light in his head. If he'd been a normal man from down the road, who did nothing more exciting than an office job for a living, she knew deep down she would still have loved the Doctor. His mind was wonderful, he was a genius and who wouldn't find that sexy? But it was his hearts, his kindness, his kooky humour, the way he insisted that Converse trainers and a pinstripe suit could take him anyway. And it was the way he loved her, unconditionally, without hesitation, without qualification, without reason, really. It had been the first time in her life that Rose had felt utterly at home in her own skin, able to do anything and know he would catch her. There was her mum of course, but Rose had always felt she had to protect her mum from some things. That she had to stay safe for her, because Pete was gone. With the Doctor, she'd somehow known that, no matter what she did, he'd forgive her, even if he didn't want to, but because he had to. He had no other choice but to keep on falling in love with her and he'd do anything to keep her with him. She was glad. Because she'd felt the same for him.

"You know, other girls wouldn't have let you get away with half the things you did," she informed him now, tears opening running down her face as she played with his hair. His breathing was unbearably slow now, and his face was getting paler by the minute. Her tears splashed onto his pyjamas, forming strange bloated stains on the material. "Letting Gwyneth die. Being so rude to Mickey. Making me miss a whole year on Earth and worrying my mother silly. Half the things you said to me deserved a slap, you know, you were always being rude. Most girls wouldn't have come back after being sent away, you know. They'd have just let you rot. And even fewer would have let you go after Reinette like that. They certainly wouldn't have taken you back. But I did." Some of those things had torn her apart at the time. Especially the last thing. He'd abandoned her, left her behind, to save another woman. And the world, she knew that, but at the time, she'd only been able to see the betrayal. She was right; most girls would have left him there and then. And she'd wanted to, she'd needed to show him how angry she was and run away and lick her wounds. It would have been normal and easy and no one would have blamed her. She couldn't though. She didn't dare let go of him and admit she was upset in case she lost him. Because living with the Doctor, knowing what she did, no matter how much it hurt, could never hurt more than leaving him. She sniffed hard, as sobs threatened to engulf her entire body. "The truth is…" She caught her breath and tried again. "The truth is, Doctor… I just don't make sense without you." She put a hand over her mouth to try and stifle the sobs. She picked up his hand and leaned her cheek against it. "I love you." She felt a final shudder vibrate throughout his body, and then it all went still. She was left with only the sound of her own sobbing.

Rose never knew how many minutes passed before she became aware of a second sound underneath her sobbing. It wasn't a sudden sound, it had been coming on gradually for a few minutes before she became fully aware of it, it seemed so normal and sort of right. Like she'd heard it before, an old pop tune or the familiar noise of Mickey's van. She tried to calm her sobs so she could hear it better. The noise wasn't that far away, in fact, it felt like it was inside her head. A singing, a dull throbbing, slightly painful if she concentrated too hard on it. Then she realized she was getting too hot in her jumper and would have pulled it off if she hadn't been too afraid to let go of the Doctor's hand. The noise was getting louder. Rose wished she could place it. She knew it so well, it was almost like an old friend.

Then she became aware of a lightness to the hand she was holding. She looked back at the Doctor, frowning. If she hadn't known better she would have said that he was… well, levitating she supposed was the right word, but there was no way… But there he was, floating a good six inches off the bed now, the bedclothes dropping away. His lean wiry frame was being lifted by invisible hands and was soon too high up for Rose to hold on anymore. The music in her head continued getting louder, and the lights which had been flickering up until then began getting brighter and brighter. Rose stepped away from the bed, knocking the chair over, though she barely even noticed. His body floated in the air now, like some macabre puppet. Rose wished she could call out for someone to come and see this, to help her, but no words would come out. All she could do was watch, as his body was suddenly violently contorted, his arms and legs flailing out, his head thrown back. Rose made to take a step forwards but something held her back. A voice in her head, so familiar it was like hearing her own mum speak: _Stay back_. It was just a memory of course, she hadn't heard those Mancunian tones for so long. And yet it seemed so real.

The lights flickered for an instant, then came on brighter than before. And Rose noticed something. The Doctor's hair was… well, shrinking. It was definitely getting shorter, but not by being cut. It was like the hair was disappearing back inside his head. De-growing. If that was even a word. If it wasn't, Rose didn't know what the word for what was happening was. The Doctor would know, or Jack, but she hadn't a clue. De-growing seemed about right. His arms and legs were de-growing too. His entire body was. Well, not exactly. It seemed to be condensing somehow, the exact same surface area but in compact form. His arms and legs were getting ever so slightly shorter, but ever so slightly thicker and more substantial. Not _fat_, just a bit stockier. It was strange; it all seemed to be happening so quickly, and yet Rose had time to think all this through, her mind ticking over all the nuances of language without missing a single thing. Time seemed to have stopped as his body floated in front of her.

Then the lights flickered one last time, the blinding light dying away momentarily and plunging Rose into darkness. When the lights shot up again, to their usual strength, she blinked, finding it hard to focus. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the red spots dancing across her retinas.

Then he spoke.

"Rose?"

And she opened her eyes.

**The End… **

**…almost **


	59. Epilogue

**Not gonna waffle here, just straight into the epilogue. Apart from to say "And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain..." etc.**

** All other waffle is at the bottom.**

**

* * *

**

A dream.

It's just a dream. Rose takes a few shuddering breaths, trying to calm her racing heart as a bead of sweat trickles down her back. It's just a dream, and it can't hurt her anymore. It isn't real. One day she'll manage to convince her sub-conscious that what has happened has really happened and it'll stop plunging her back into these situations where she wakes up, almost screaming, for a moment believing things aren't how they are.

As she sits up in bed, hugging the duvet around her even though its warm enough in the room, hot even, he reaches out a hand and touches the small of her back. It's the lightest touch, nothing special. Not a hug or even a caress. Just a brief touch, but one which is able to make her heart skip a beat and then settle down into a regular rhythm. Her muscles relax almost instantly. All without him saying a word.

She turns to face him, his face still in its half-asleep state, but his eyes bright enough in that familiar face. Piercing bright and able to send shivers down her spine with a look, now they simply reassure her that her nightmare is over. He's with her.

"It was just a dream, it's okay," she says now, more to convince her brain than to inform him. Practically every night in the three months since he came back to has been disturbed with a dream like this. By now, they don't need to speak.

He nods and yawns widely, his mouth showing its incredible elasticity that allows that wonderful grin to appear at whim. And he's more whimsical than ever he was before these days, and that grin is being put to use more often than ever before. Rose basks in his happiness daily.

His hand still dances along the small of her back. "Sure you're okay? Because if you're not…" He's never completed that sentence, not once in the ninety nights he's said it. Rose sometimes wonders what it is that he'll do if she's not okay. Maybe he has some marvelous dream busting machine hidden away somewhere which he'll use on her if it all gets too much. Maybe he thinks she should talk it over with him. Or maybe he hasn't got an end to that sentence, maybe he just thinks that's the kind of thing you should say under the circumstances. Whatever he means, she doesn't care. And she won't ever ask him to finish his sentence.

"I'm fine."

"Sure?" She nods. "Fantastic." The smile he gives her isn't quite his trademark grin; it's too early in the morning for that and his muscles aren't quite primed for it. But it's enough. "I can go back to sleep then."

Rose laughs. "Lazy! It's nearly ten-thirty!" She playfully slaps his arm.

"Some of us, Ms. Tyler, need our beauty sleep."

Rose pushes her tongue firmly into her cheek and gives him a mischievous grin. "It'll take more than forty winks for some of us."

"Oi!" Rose ducks out of bed as he reaches for her pillow and brandishes it like a weapon. The only weapon she's ever seen him use. "Are you going to apologise for that?"

Rose doesn't reply, but her smile and the warm glow in her eyes speaks for her. His eyes meet hers and he smiles back, before replacing the pillow and rolling back over. Rose dresses silently in her uniform of choice, old comfortable jeans which still show off her figure slightly, and a red fitted jumper. Her hair needs washing really, but she pulls it back off her face with an old hair band. At least she's had her roots done recently. Anyway, even without the layers of make-up that she once wouldn't be seen dead without, there's something about her these days that has improved how she looks ten-fold. She oozes something that no amount of money, clothes or make-up can create: happiness.

She leaves him to his sleep. He deserves some rest after all he's done in his life. Because only now is the Doctor learning what nine-hundred-years of little sleep and constant action can do to a man.

* * *

It had taken Rose several minutes after he'd said her name to move from her spot on the other side of the room. The spots on her vision slowly faded away so she could see more clearly, but even then she could hardly believe her eyes. She felt like she had when he regenerated, uncertain and unwilling to leap in feet first. It wasn't something she was used to back then, thinking things over before she did them. Instinct had been her middle name. Now she was a lot older and she hoped a little wiser; even so, even she didn't normally wait so long before speaking. 

Where the Doctor had been sat a different man now, in the same pyjamas, slightly too long in the leg now. Her immediate reaction was that he wasn't there anymore, he'd gone. That this man wasn't him. And then her brain clicked into gear, running faster than she could follow. Because he was the Doctor. Oh, God… he was her Doctor.

When she hadn't taken a step towards him after a few good long minutes, he frowned. "Rose? What's wrong?"

Rose was unable to speak, her throat too choked up to let any words past. Instead, she raised her eyebrows at him desperately, nodding towards him. His frown deepened. Then, slowly, his hands crept up over his face. It was when he reached his ears that the penny obviously dropped.

"Oh, what?" He leapt up and headed over to where there was a mirror hanging on the wall. Rose remembered many a morning in front of that mirror after spending the night in his room. They'd been some of the worst hair days of her life. Not that that was really a problem for the Doctor. Not anymore.

"Oh God! Will you look at me ears?" He flicked them, pulling a face. "And my hair! I had lovely hair, _big_ hair, and look what goes and happens!" He turned to look at her so suddenly that she jumped. "That's your fault, Rose Tyler, I'm blaming you entirely for this!"

Something in Rose kicked in, an old instinct. She'd missed acting on instinct, she realized, as she let fly with her tongue. "Me? How is this my fault?" She frowned. "And what am I supposed to have done?"

"This!" He gestured towards himself, then let out an exasperated sigh. "Oh, you won't understand." He turned back to the mirror, running a hand over his much shorter hair in despair.

Rose fell silent again. She was still a long way away from him, it felt unnatural to be sharing the same space as him and have such a huge gap between them. And yet… how could she be sure it was even him?

"What… what happened?" she asked eventually, her voice trembling.

He didn't reply immediately, too busy inspecting his new-old body. Then he caught her eye in the mirror, her big brown eye filling with tears, and he turned round. "I saved the universe. Again."

"But…?" Rose shook her head, not entirely comprehending what he was saying. "You said… you said there was no way out, nothing, that it was…"

"Impossible?" That familiar smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Nah, no such thing. Thought you'd know that by now, Rose Tyler."

"I guess." Rose was still concerned though, still wary of stepping too close to him, just in case. Just in case what, she had no idea. "But…"

Then a look she recognized came over the Doctor's face. It was funny, the two men she'd known, the two faces she'd loved, had been so different in almost every way, but one thing had stayed constant. The darkening of their features when he had something important and serious to say. It was happening now, his once so familiar and now slightly chilling blue eyes intensified and the slight grin faded away, replaced with a firm grim line.

"The legend asked for the last Time Lord. The last Time Lord's energy to power the universe." He folded his arms. "And Janie was the last Time Lord. But she didn't have the energy they needed, she was only half Time Lord after all. The legend could never have known that would happen. That you would happen." He smiled softly, and Rose couldn't help smiling back. "I knew deep down that Janie wouldn't be enough. By rights, I suppose it should have been Jon and Janie." He saw the colour drain from Rose's face. "But that couldn't happen."

"So you…?"

"I did some research, found out what I needed to know. There was a theory, something my people put in place to try and counteract the legend. It's like they always knew what would happen." The old familiar sadness came into his eyes and his voice as he spoke about his family. It had always made Rose's heart ache for him. Then he pulled himself upright and tried to hide that weakness as he carried on. "Those aliens weren't exactly ready for it. I guess if Janie was too weak, then I was too strong."

"What happened to them?" Rose asked. "The aliens I mean. They just… disappeared."

"They needed Time Lord energy to keep them going. But I guess that didn't know what you and I know. Remember the werewolf?"

Rose did. She remembered almost exactly what he'd said to her at the time, as they'd pulled that old telescope which he'd been so rude about earlier upright.

_Rose worked out what the Doctor was getting out finally. "Moonlight? But it _needs_ moonlight! It's _created_ by moonlight!" Sometimes she wondered if he was losing his mind. _

_But as ever, he was being perfectly logical. "You're seventy per cent water, but you can still drown!" _

"What makes you can destroy you," she said now, in a tiny voice.

"Exactly."

"You destroyed them all? The Reapers and the Krillitane and the Cybermen and… the Daleks?"

"Not really _all_ of them," he admitted slightly embarrassed. "Just the ones there. It wasn't quite _that_ powerful."

Rose nodded. "Well, something's better than nothing."

He smiled. "Exactly."

Rose didn't return his smile. "But this… you… what happened?" She swallowed a lump in a throat. "We thought you were dying."

"I know."

"Did you know you'd…?" She searched for the right word. Regenerate somehow seemed wrong, it wasn't like he'd moved on. If anything he'd regressed, he'd... "De-regenerate."

The Doctor looked away suddenly. "Not exactly."

"But you knew you'd be okay?"

The Doctor half-shrugged. "The theory was a bit sketchy on details like that. It had never been proved of course, I can't blame the Time Lords for it. No test, no evidence, no proof."

Rose studied him carefully. "So… what did you think would happen?"

The Doctor sighed. "There was a suggestion in the stuff I found that I'd just regenerate, and it would be fine. Usual, run of the mill stuff."

That wasn't the whole story, Rose could tell. "But?"

He pulled an awkward face. "There were other ideas about it. Loads of people had written about if you knew where to look. All the great thinkers. Some suggested that. Others suggested that…"

"What?" Rose felt her knees tremble.

"That it would kill me." He saw Rose slap a hand over her mouth. "But it didn't, they were wrong," he added hurriedly. "I'm still here."

"But… how?" Rose shook her head. "I mean…"

"Why in this form?" The Doctor sighed. "There was a third theory. This one bloke put it forward, Aeschelan. Everyone else seemed to think he was mad, no one supported him. I bet they're feeling a bit silly now. Sort of heartening to know that, for once, the little guy won, isn't it? Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside." He recollected his thoughts. "Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah. This theory… it suggested that the only way the sacrifice could work would be if… well, if the sacrificee – that's me – gave away their lives. Plural." Rose's eyebrows shot up. "All the regenerations. That's a phenomenal amount of energy, Rose, enough to blast through a few universes at least."

"And that's what happened?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

"You mean…" Rose frowned. "No more regenerations? But how do you know?"

The Doctor tapped his head. "In here. I just know. I'm stuck with this one until… well."

Rose was still unsure. "But… why this one?"

Now the Doctor smiled, a slow soft smile that spread across his whole face, lighting up his features. He took a few steps towards her. "That's the interesting part of Aeschelan's theory. The part he got it ripped out of him for, actually, no one else was quite as sentimental as he was. Still, I like sentimental, always have." He gently took Rose's hands in his, aware of the tension in her muscles, and that she didn't entirely trust him just yet. "He had this idea that when the sacrificee regenerated for the final time, using up the little energy left in him, he'd take on the form of a past life. It just depended on who was with him, what they wanted. Sort of the power of positive thought you see, affecting the result."

Realisation dawned in Rose's face. "You mean… I…"

The Doctor lowered his voice even further. "I mean, that's why I'm blaming you, Rose Tyler." He rested his forehead against hers.

Rose tensed up slightly. "Doctor, I… how do I…?" Her brown eyes searched his face anxiously.

He knew what she meant. "I suppose saying 'Run' would be a bit old-hat, right?" He pretended to think hard, before saying in a near whisper, "How about this then?" His hands moved up to cradle her face and he lowered mouth to meet hers. The instant their lips touched, Rose knew. She knew this man was no imposter, that he wasn't here to harm her or anyone she loved. That he _was_ someone she loved. When he pulled away, she didn't want him to, she wanted more.

He smiled at her. "So… why not the pretty boy look then?"

Rose half-laughed, half-cried, and he knew why. Even if this had been her doing, what she really wanted, she'd still miss the old him. It would take time for her mourn the loss of his personal quirks and eccentricities. For a moment, he worried that something had gone wrong. That this wasn't what she'd really wanted.

"You can't ever beat a bit of rough, can you?" she said now, so softly he could hardly hear her, but the teasing smile, though wobbly, told him that it hadn't been a mistake. And he smiled back.

She ran a hand over his head, remembering the velvety soft feeling of his shorn head. "So no more regenerating?"

"No more regenerating," he agreed.

"But you'll never be ginger."

"No. I'll never be ginger." He put his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. "But that's not so bad.

* * *

The TARDIS is quiet, apart from her usual musical tones. After checking both Jon and Janie's rooms, Rose makes her way across the control room to the doors. She opens them and then stands in the doorway surveying the scene before her. It isn't the most scenic location she's ever visited, and she's sure that many people, given the opportunity to travel anywhere in time or space, wouldn't choose this particular location. But it's home. And that's all that really matters to Rose Tyler these days. 

This morning, the music playing in the Hub is something Rose remembers from her own childhood. Her mum adored The Police, and Rose remembers dancing round their flat to this particular song many a time. Today, though, she isn't the one doing the dancing.

_Though I've tried before to tell her of the feelings I have for her in my heart. _

_Every time that I come near her, I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start. _

There's never been an official announcement regarding Jack and Gwen's new relationship. Rose has never heard either of them call the other anything other than their names, with maybe a few endearments thrown in. Mind you, neither of them is adverse to calling anybody "sweetheart" or "darling". And yet somehow she knows, they all know, that what those two have has moved way beyond friendship. After all, Captain Jack Harkness has never been exactly the king of subtle, and the way he's pulled Gwen in towards him at this moment, devilry in his eyes as the bass line thunders around the Hub… well, Rose suspects even a blind man would be able to see the chemistry between the two of them.

_Every little thing she does is magic, every thing she does just turns me on _

_And even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on. _

Gwen laughs loudly as Jack bends her over backwards.

"Watch my back!" she yelps between giggles, as Jack whisks her round again, grinning madly. "Seriously! I think I've pulled something!"

"Oh get a room!" Rose's attention is caught by Owen's good-natured taunt from the other side of the Hub. He's leaning against his desk, watching the two dancing, but without any malice. Rose knows from what Jack has told her, that Owen used to be very cynical. That's a side she's never seen of him. Maybe the whole Piaculum adventure has changed him, but Rose is almost certain that the true reason for Owen's epiphany is perched on the desk beside him.

Janie has left her hair alone, to Rose's delight, and the dark curls fall down her back, shining like an advert for shampoo. Janie's favourite thing about the TARDIS, Rose is convinced, are the power showers and the baths that never seem to lose heat. She's found her daughter asleep in the bath more times than she can count in recent months. Now Janie is sitting, swinging her legs in a child-like manner, and yet managing to engage Owen's attention in a most unchild-like way.

Rose used to wish Janie would change. Not in any major way, and she certainly hadn't wanted her to regenerate (something that the Doctor has told her isn't a problem), but just to change slightly. To grow up. Now part of her wishes that the old carefree innocent Janie would come back. That haunted look is on her face to stay, the knowing light in her eyes that shows she's been to hell and back. Janie has never told Rose what happened to her when the aliens took her. Rose suspects that someone knows. That _Owen_ knows. At first she was jealous, but then the Doctor had pointed out something.

"You didn't tell your mum everything." She'd raised her eyes to meet his when he spoke. "You told me."

He made a good point, and Rose knows she should just be glad that her daughter is sharing things with someone. And anyway, no matter how much Janie has changed, there's something that she will always know how to do, and that's play with men. The last few weeks have afforded the Torchwood team many laughs at Owen's expense as he's tried and mostly failed to win Janie's attention. Just when he thinks that he's finally won her over, Janie is able, with a small flick of her hair, to send him crashing back down again. It's not that funny really, and Rose knows that she should have a talk with Janie sooner or later about how she should treat men.

"Make it later," Jack has advised. "It's not doing him any real harm."

Now Rose's thoughts are interrupted by a loud and exasperated exclamation.

"About time! Is Dad up yet?" Jon is sitting on the raised platform around the edge of the Hub, his feet dangling between the bars. Rose wonders if he'll ever know how much that one small word that he uses on a daily basis now affects the Doctor. He's always believed in the power of words, and Jon has proved that belief to him.

Rose shakes her head.

"What? But he knows I want to take the TARDIS out today!" Jon slumps back down grumpily, and Rose smiles. It's almost a normal teenager-father relationship, only instead of arguing over a car, they spend their time fighting over an alien timeship disguised as a 1950s police box. The Doctor has been slowly teaching Jon how to fly his beloved TARDIS, and in the last few weeks, Jon has even been allowed some solo flights. Sometimes he comes back full of the things he's seen and done. Sometimes he's subdued. The Doctor never pushes him on these occasions; he knows what's happened.

"He's seen me. Somewhere," he explained it to Rose the second time it happened. "Maybe even you. Leave him. He'll be fine."

Sometimes Abby accompanies him on these trips; a companion for a new generation. Janie never does, preferring the Hub and modern day Earth to anywhere else. Rose knows it pains the Doctor a little that his only daughter, the last Time Lord, isn't a huge fan of space exploration or time travel, but she couldn't be happier. Secretly, she wishes Jon wouldn't go off on his own; she can't help thinking of all the things that could befall him and she'd never know. Exactly how Jackie must have felt all those years.

* * *

Rose's first thought after the Doctor de-regenerated was how the children would take it. They'd only just got used to having a father at all, and now they had a whole other man to deal with. It had surprised her how easily they'd taken to him. Well, Jon had found it easier. Maybe he was more how he'd envisaged his father, a little older looking, a little less heartachingly handsome. A bit blunter and stern-looking. In his favourite leather jacket, looking even more battered than ever, he was certainly a rougher looking person now. Janie had burst into fresh tears when she met him, just when Rose and everyone else had thought she couldn't cry anymore. The Doctor had gently knelt down on the floor in front of her. 

"It's still me, Janie," he'd said, his voice softer than Rose had ever heard it before, in either incarnation. "I'm still just your stupid old dad." It hadn't stopped her crying, but the noisy sobs decreased in volume. He nodded and stood up, placing a hand on her head gently before leaving the room. He winked at Rose as he left: she was going to be fine.

* * *

Rose looks around the Hub now. "Isn't Abby out here?" 

Jon frowns. "No. I thought she was still in bed."

Rose takes her phone out of her pocket. Since settling the TARDIS in her new location, Abby has been the most active out of the lot of them. Jon goes on these far flung adventures from time to time, but Abby disappears with little warning. She always says she's going to visit her dad if anyone asks, but Rose knows a little better than most. One day, shortly after moving into the Hub, she asked Ianto to look up someone's details on the Torchwood database. Sarah-Jane's. Because of all the people Rose has ever met, if anyone can help Abby sort out her scattered thoughts, it's her. Abby has visited her a few times now, always suddenly, but she normally texts Rose to let her know she's safe. Today though, there's nothing. That's the second time that's happened recently.

Jack breaks into her thoughts. "She slipped out early this morning. Going to visit her dad." Because Jack knows something even Rose doesn't know. That for the last few weeks, Abby has been working up the courage to visit someone other than Sarah-Jane. Jack has kept true to his personal vow to tell Abby of her mother's whereabouts, and today is the second time she's visited her in Swindon. Slowly, Abby is laying her demons to rest. Maybe one day she'll be able to return Jon's hope-filled glances.

Everything hasn't been perfect since the legend was overturned. It isn't as though all the bad in the world has been eradicated. Gwen hasn't been back to the flat she shared with Rhys yet, something she'll need to get around to fairly soon or she'll seriously run out of clothes and money. She's only seen him once, when she and Rose went on a half-hearted shopping trip in Cardiff. On that occasion, Gwen ducked into a shop and hid until he'd gone by. Jack has been redirecting some money from the Torchwood account to help pay the mortgage, but Gwen knows he can't do that forever, and she wouldn't expect him to: even Captain Jack Harkness has some principles. One day soon she'll work up the courage and do it. She's finding life with Jack by her side eventful to say the least. Already she's seen him throw himself into a life-threatening situation three times, and each time she's gone through several stages of emotion. Sheer terror as he heads towards the jaws of death, followed by relief as he, yet again, bounces back. He's died once, and she couldn't stop crying for hours, but as soon as he drew breath again, she let rip with a thousand expletives, some of them in languages not of this earth. They've had fights galore, two hot-headed tempestuous personalities battling it out. But they always make up. And they're even better at that than fighting.

The Doctor is working on finding out what exactly Rose did to Jack all that time ago that's made him like he is. He's sure that it's just a matter of putting two and two together, looking at it from a new angle and somehow making seven and a half. Part of Jack is eager to find out the truth, but in a strangely detached way, like he feels when Owen performs an autopsy on a curiously murdered body, one of which is lying in the Autopsy Room right now. Like he's some sort of exhibit. The other half… well, Jack's finding every day that being immortal does have it's good side. He's slowly coming to terms with it. For Gwen's sake, if nothing else, being able to continually escape death might not be such a bad thing.

"Or you could always just not throw yourself in at the deep end," Gwen has suggested, one eyebrow raised to suggest that she's not entirely joking.

For Rose, with her two children safe and sound, and the man she loves finally back by her side, life is almost, but not quite perfect. Because the Doctor did more than give away his remaining regenerations that day. The gaps between the universes which enabled them to pass so freely before are well and truly sealed as far as parallel world hopping is concerned. Owen had complained on more than one occasion that the Doctor could have done a better job as far as the Rift is concerned.

"How did you manage that, mate? Cut Rose off from her family, but somehow still let them bloody Weevils come and go as they please!"

The phone call Rose made back to her mum, after many failed attempts, was one of the hardest phone calls of her life.

"You're what?" Jackie had demanded as her daughter tried to explain. "How? Rose, what's happened? Are you all okay? Why can't you come back?"

The Doctor took the phone out of Rose's shaking hand. "Jackie-" was as far as he got before Jackie launched in again.

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing with my daughter?"

"No, Jackie, it's me. The Doctor."

"What? But…" Jackie Tyler lost for words. The Doctor only wished he had a tape recorder handy. It didn't last long. "Oh my God, you've changed again, haven't you? Well, that's just great!"

The Doctor knows he'll never be exactly Jackie's first choice for a son in-law. Especially not in this body. Maybe if he can undo the stitches he's made between the two universes, so Rose can at least visit her parents, he'll get a few Brownie points. Even if he doesn't, it'll be worth it to see the look on Rose's face. She's assured him she loves being here, that she'll never go back to her old life and leave him. That she'll never take Jon and Janie away.

"But I would like to see Mum and Dad," she told him one night as they lay in bed together. "Just occasionally. You know, at Christmas and stuff. Like normal families."

"I've never been very good at normal," he reminded her.

She smiled. "No, me either. It'll be a fun adventure."

* * *

Two arms slip round Rose's waist, but she doesn't jump, instantly certain of who it is as she leans back into his familiar hold. He hasn't had a shave yet this morning, and his stubble scratches her cheek slightly as he moves his head onto her shoulder. 

"Everything alright?" he asks softly.

"Perfect."

"Rose." There's a warning tone in his voice

She smiles, knowing how much he dislikes that word. Perfection, he claims, doesn't exist anywhere in the universe. "And if it did, you wouldn't notice. Perfection is never that wonderful."

Rose has to agree. The funny little family she's created in her life is testament that imperfections are what makes the world a better place: the father who died when she was only a baby, but carried on living in another world. The man she loves who has two hearts and a timeship. Her two half-alien children. The girl who took her place by the Doctor's side for a time. The man who can't die. Not exactly two-point-four children. But they're her life, her world. And despite it all, they are perfect, to her.

But he'll never accept that as an answer.

"Okay." She thinks again, and her smile becomes wider as she finds the ideal word. One she knows for certain will please him.

"Shall we try again?" he suggests, his voice low and ticking her ear. "Is everything alright?"

"Fantastic."

She's rewarded by a wide grin, and a brief kiss on the cheek.

"Correct answer."

* * *

**Well, here we are then. The end. Seven long months of work, over! Gah!**

**Quick dislaimer: in the last chapter, I totally forgot to mention that I stole a line (well, paraphrased one) from the film "In her shoes". And in this chapter, the song lyrics come from The Police's "Every little thing she does is magic"... I'm going to see them in September eeeeeeeeeee!**

**Okay, onwards we go. I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone who joined me on this weird little journey, everyone who read any bit of it, reviewed at all, added it to favourites or alerts, personal messaged me about it, anyone who has spent even five seconds giving a damn about this story... you're all lovely.**

**I said I'd self-evaluate, so I will.**

**The things I liked: well, that there was a semi-plausible and logical and interesting plot, seeing as most of my stories lack plots! That there was a semi-sci-fi element instead of just being romance, though I'm not going to delude myself and say that this wasn't heavily romance led. I liked my OCs, especially Abby, that poor messed up girl. She deserves some happiness, maybe one day I'll write her a proper ending. I liked the conversation chapters, especially the last one (okay, Rose was just chattering away to herself but you know what I mean) and the one where Jack told her all about his life. I quite like the epilogue too, though it was never supposed to be that long!**

**Things I didn't like/needed improving/not so sure about: The sacrifice storyline was a bit shakey I think. Really needed to think all that through more. And Janie and Jon needed working on a bit. The Doctor and Rose could probably have done with getting together a bit earlier, there wasn't really a huge reason why they didn't apart from to increase tension at the end. Equally, Jack and Gwen's relationship seemed a bit thin; in fact, in the middle, I even kind of forgot to talk about it for a bit and had to go back and shove random sentences in. I'm still not sure that having the Doctor de-regenerating was the right option. I knew I didn't want to create a new Doctor, and I was watching season 1 when I was planning this and was falling for 9 again. I suppose for the situation he was in now, if he was ever going to fit in with Rose's new life, he had to be 9 rather than 10 in my mind, though I still wish she could have kept 10, cos I love him. The opening of the story was probably too long and slow, and Rose should really have been a bit more pro-active. I also wish I'd included more of Torchwood, Ianto and Toshiko kind of got forgotten about, and Owen wasn't done that well. And Gwen should also have picked herself up a bit better. I'm still not sure that Jack is ever the settling down kinda guy.**

**All in all, it was an experience that proved I do have the attention span to complete a long story. And one that's not too awful.**

**(Another story idea to add to last chapters list: a story about how Rose and Pete really got on after they got into the parallel road. She's 19, she's lived without him her whole life and he's just contributed to trapping her away from the man she loves. Would she really be so easy-going as to accept him as her dad, and would he really come round to the idea of having a fully-grown daughter?)**

**So, here the story ends. I can't see a sequel happening really, I think they're happy as they are. And to be honest, once Rose and the Doctor get together, the tension's kind of gone. The only way you could go on is, I think, to kill one of them and I'm just not nasty enough for that. They've got their little family now, their strange imperfect family, and that's where I want to leave them. **

**Thanks again.**

**Over and out.**


End file.
